triumphgal

My flight was at 7:45 so Mom and I were up early and on the road in the dark.

It was still feeling odd to be in the passenger seat. Even though I wore my custom earplugs most of the trip I can still feel the roar in my ears. I am ambivalent about the return. My sense of self has shifted. A theme has run through my head since I heard a song on the country station Tim McGraw’s Live Like You Were Dying earlier in the trip. It really struck me that this is what I am trying to do. I chose to live in this beautiful place on the planet

because I had come to love the people of the Heiltsuk First Nation and the ‘others’ who live amongst and around them, living a life that is unique to a tight knit remote community. I wanted to do something of value, feel fulfilled in what I do, add to the quality of my life and others. I had many hours on this journey to muse on the previous six months…… But I didn’t. Instead I let all the stress, all the politics, all the renovations, all the advance work I had to do….go. I spent my time in the moment, soaking up the sun, enjoying every single moment, person and place I experienced. It was with great joy and pride that I explained often where exactly it was that I lived…. In the Heiltsuk First Nation on Campbell Island in the Great Bear Rainforest, more commonly known as Bella Bella, ‘the place so nice, they named it twice’. I showed them my picture and pointed to the red pin midway between Washington and Alaska

The response was nearly always enthusiastic and inquisitive. Many yearned to come here to fish and hike and explore, to learn more about ‘my people’. It wasn’t long before I stopped explaining that I was an ‘other’. It was irrelevant, my love for this place and it’s inhabitants was what mattered. I honestly did not miss home that much as I was in the moment of wherever I was, soaking up the cultures and experiences of the people I met along the way. I was grateful for all the Native Americans I met and shared with. As most of them were from drought area Pueblos, they dreamt of salmon and fishing on the ocean, things I so take for granted. And so as I landed on this rainy day, the remnants of a big storm evident

I was not unhappy, I was glad to be home. Home, the place where friends leave your vehicle for you at the airport,

ripe tomatoes in your garden

a bottle of wine

a stocked fridge

and more. As I settled back in to the obligations and responsibilities of my job, I am making myself a pledge to hold on to that feeling… To be in the moment, to choose my routes wisely, to keep my tank filled and rubber down…. To live like I’m dying.