Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don’t feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything
Oh yeah, Bruno, I feel ya. Or maybe a little Elton..
And I guess that’s why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that’s why they call it the blues
Right on frickin’ schedule, big emotions followed by the brainstorm. I am not handling any stress whatsoever, am withdrawing and sad.
I also should probably stop obsessing over something that has been an underlying current for the last 26 years of my life. #BlackLivesMatter. No I do not hate the man who raped me, yes he was black, no I do not believe all black men are rapists. Yes this is a conversation I have had more than once. The man who did that was wrong, the society he grew up in had some messed up ideas about women and white people likely gave them that idea in the first place. It was strange to defend my choice to keep my child and then watch the racism aimed at him. My son doesn’t talk about it much and I may fear the answers if I ask more. I remember telling him when he was young that he had to be as good as he possibly could be, ALWAYS. He would never get away with anything. I didn’t know I was giving ‘the talk’ but I was always a little afraid for him. I found it odd he didn’t relate to his colour. I am proud he just sees himself as a brown Canadian but I worry sometimes, often, actually. He was only 18 months old the first time a racist slur was thrown his way. Not much older when a little girl in the grocery store started singing ‘Bad Boys, Bad Boys’ when she saw him, and not much older yet when, on Canada Day, he was chased out of the park and told he couldn’t play there because of his skin tone. He has told me stories of various comments people have made over the years and I have always felt them similar to the way I have been treated as a woman. I felt I could relate. By no choice of mine I am a female born into a male dominated society. Yes things have come a long way but the pendulum had to swing far; capital F Feminism, bra burning, strikes for equal wages, etc. just in my lifetime. Things are far from perfect but it is time to stand up for Black Lives, all BIPOC! We must do whatever we can to undo the damage, beg forgiveness for the past and stop the slaughter, take our knees off our brothers and sisters. I want to learn how to do that in my town. It’s the place I can start. I will walk alongside for now, it’s all I know how to do.I don’t want you to have to look over your shoulder, I got your back.
Watch Blindspotting…
triumphgal 