My system was gurgling today, indicating stress. It is time to cut the cord and my system knows this will not be easy because I care about my legacy and my clients that are the firms. I slogged through my work day and at the end of it sent an email resignation from our contract giving two months rather than one for notice. I began to feel better. Human connection is so complicated. I aim to be the best human I can in an ordinary world but know I will fail In measuring up to others hopes or requirements. The best I can do is feel good about my contribution to the world and not feel like I sacrificed myself entirely in the process. yes, I dread tomorrow. I feel better about today. In the end, this is my one and only life.
Sometimes one is witness to the inner workings of a family relationship, the curtain is parted and there is no magic. All one can do is feel for all involved, keep your head down and pray this will pass. It is a part of friendship that crosses over to family when you see turmoil. The trick is to remain calm, not take it on and honestly hope for the best. in a completely selfish way I don’t want things to change. I suspect this is a pattern and if there were something I could do I would wave that magic wand.
I think I will sleep better tonight. I am prepared for whatever response I get. I do not intend to sling mud no matter how full my bucket.
triumphgal 