02-25-21 programmed behaviors
I wonder if I will ever grow out of the dread I feel instantly in certain moments. I received a text from the President of one of the boards I am on asking if I had time for him to come talk to me. Of course I said ‘yes’. then I spent all time up to that arrival running every negative scenario in my head. I hear about imposter syndrome and I wonder if I suffer from that more than I thought. I think a lot of my stress is because I fear that I will forget something, miss a deadline, or disappoint someone. I don’t know why they put so much faith in me. I do appreciate it though and I will always try to uphold all promise. It turns out he just wanted to discuss the spending of the 177000.00 grant w are going to receive for renovation of the theatre and tech booth. So much excitement. When he arrived I had also just finished getting us approved for rebates of GST for 5575.00 from past years. That was money left on the table which we dearly need. A slam dunk kind of day!
I arranged for the Culligan installer who was here the day I had to go to the hospital in December to come and walk me through the maintenance and care of my whole house water softener system. The water pressure had lessened and the filter needed changing so he showed me how. Great service!
The problem with my day was that i did not eat properly and after he left I found myself ready to pass out. I was overheating, and shaky and nearly fainted. I made some food and sat to work on my puzzle. A little while later Diane R messaged to see if I would like to play Scrabble. It is out last opportunity for a while as her son and Sean’s son are good friends. Sean’s son has just been to Calgary and her son wants to get to get her with him tomorrow. We will wait a week or two before we get together again. We are both tired of other people’s actions changing our worlds. But we shall be kind and patient and play again soon as we ended the game with her winning by only two points. It was so good to play, I can’t remember the last time! we drank nummy tea, ate popcorn and danced to my phone tracks. Kitchen dance party!
triumphgal 