05-28-21 Valuable time
I was going to sit down and write this when I was in the middle of all the feels but decided to have a hot shower and cool down instead. Today was productive, I even filed my own tax return and it was a small refund instead of a big pay which was a blessing! I was on a roll with an important file when I realized I had to get home and have dinner as the handyman, Danny was going to be at my place at 7 to trim out my kitchen window. I do not have air tools anymore and decided it would be better to hire someone else to do it for me. That is not something that comes easily to me. I have always saved dollars and my sanity by doing things myself. The problem now is I actually don’t love doing finishing work. When I was building houses I liked to take it to lock-up and walk away. My favourite was concrete and framing, I still would love to be doing it. The joy of sheeting a roof and having a view of the world from up there is sublime. I came home and checked to be sure that the trim I had done a second coat of paint on this morning was dry enough. I had a quickie dinner and cleared the area around the sink, ready. And at 7:01, he messaged me to see if we could do it tomorrow instead as his son wanted to watch a movie with him. I expressed the fact that I understood family obligations but I also had scheduled around this being done. He then said he would just have dinner with his wife and be over. And so I waited. At 8 pm I was annoyed and went out to mow my very overgrown lawn. At 9 I started weeding the garden beds, and then my legs said, no more. I did make good progress but by 930 when I heard a vehicle pull up, I burst into tears when I saw it was Rae and Roger. They brought me a Gerber Daisy plant which I love, and chocolate. They know me so well. They encouraged me to text him not to come and Roger offered to come help me do it on the weekend. I did text and he said he was just loading his truck. It was 945 by now so I texted him calmly that I was not up to it, that I had been angry, that I would do it myself. He finally apologized and offered to come in the morning and do it for free. I will likely pay him but I will have a talk about his reliability if I am going to hire him for my bathroom reno that I really want to do. This was why I stopped contracting home builds, I got so annoyed with the help. I would hire someone 10 or more years younger than I am to dig a ditch and I could have done it 3 times faster, or I would have to deal with hangovers and excuses. I found it less stressful just to become a handyman, a Jill of All Trades. The problem now is I am experiencing all the outcomes of hard work, using my body as a tool, and pushing myself. So, tomorrow at 11, I hope to have my window finally completed. I hope he will understand my plan
A final thought… my Dad instilled in me to try very hard not to be late because it was implying that my time was more important than someone else’s. It’s not, it’s all about respect.
triumphgal 