08-20-18 More freaking loss – RIP Tony
My friend, a really good guy died a week ago and I learned it today on Facebook through an online obituary. I am overwhelmed once again, am grateful that his family responded to my message and that I was able to express how much he meant and will be missed. All this while I was trying to write a message to send along for Matt’s memorial on Sunday. It was likely the straw to break this camels back. I was so glad I asked to have Emmy overnight. I left work early because I kept feeling like I was going to throw up so I picked up some bear spray…. Well, it’s actually officially pepper spray and I am allergic to it. I don’t know why this never occurred to me before. After that I stopped at home to drop everything out of my car that was unnecessary and went to pick up Emmy’s overnight bag and car seat from Danika. She was kind and gave me a good hug. I got a message from Di that she was at my house. I told her I would meet her at hers. I practically collapsed in her arms, sobbing over all the losses. I am so bereft at the losses in the last 18 months of people I would see semi regularly to great joy and now haven’t seen since 2019 and they are gone. It of course reminds me that I have been blessed with great relationships, friends of all sorts but sometimes I think it would be easier to be a loner. I left Di and went to pick up Emmy from Daycare and headed to Marysville to pick up cousin Donna. We headed up to Whiteboar Lake with intent to pick huckleberries. It was much rougher than last time after all the rain. A truck coming down was super nice and chatted about the road and the rules around meeting someone on a narrow road like that. Person going up backs down… much easier than backing up hill. That is what I think is logical anyway. We picked a bunch of berries and took some great pictures and then headed back as we were all starving. Emmy is quite the little chatterbox. When we finally hit reception again, my phone blew up!! There were many messages from Ash, some from Rae and Di and Maureen. I was worried what had gone on. It was no surprise that the Provincial Health Order has dropped with restrictions going in tomorrow so wear masks indoors, limit gatherings, etc. I am so in mourning mode and trying to be positively engrossed in spending time with Emmy that I just read it all quickly, responded quickly and moved on. I am still following the step before for the most part anyway so it doesn’t change much for me, but I am sad about Summer Sounds and Peak Music Fest which are now cancelled. At least I haven’t paid the deposits to the artists yet, sigh.
Emmy and I joined Campbells for our last visit for at least a month to come and she was such a good girl. Even with staying up late she was well behaved and when we got home, fell asleep almost instantly. I am going to miss her terribly. I bought tickets to take her and Sawyer to the Paw Patrol Movie tomorrow. I hope it doesn’t get cancelled by the order. We will wear masks and hope for the best. I did ok getting through this day, I look forward to our ABC Zoom tomorrow and I will allow myself to feel all the feels tonight to begin letting go.
The glacier had disappeared a great deal since the last time due to the heat and the hard rain.
Sean predicted my hydro would go up because of the heat and my new AC, well he was right.. 91%!
triumphgal 