08-26-21 love heals all
I rode my bike today because I won’t have many more opportunities. The weather was a good even temperature and it felt nice but stressful in the same breath. I guess I am ready to let go. I completed my reports for the AGM for CCT and lost my shit on a supplier who volunteers as well. He has left me hanging and I guess all my calm negotiation wore off. I feel he is the type that needed that though as I feel we came to an amicable decision. I just don’t like it coming down to that. Raising my voice, and cussing led me to crying which is all just an embarrassing shit show but if it accomplished the desired result, I am ok. He apologized and so did I. Right after all that drama I received a text from my friend Diane, to come for dinner. I was hoping to get together and catch up and it was perfect timing. She made us a delicious several course meal of fish and fixings, exactly what my tummy needed. Afterward we watched the first episode of The Chair with Sandra Oh and despite the fact that we had to restart it because we were talking too much I will want to watch the series. It has a stellar cast! When it was done we realized it was now dark and I was slightly concerned as I never know what stage of road construction I am coming home to. As it happens it was relatively hard packed so ok. I am worn out again and wondering if I should take Clonazepan in the morning before my MRI. It may need that I get a ride home. I think I will take it, drive there and bring my crocheting so that I can sit as long as necessary to drive home safely. I have already told everyone that I won’t be at the office tomorrow.
After my reflections on Londoners yesterday I received a lovely WhatsApp message from my British Besties. That family continues to blow me away with their love and support. Linda sent me a picture from our memories together and I am wearing half the same outfit today, and my big girl panties to get through the day!
The downside of the day was watching several live videos of a friend seeming to have some odd psychotic break. I reached out to another who has known her longer and better to find she is being monitored and others are ready to catch her should she fall. The plus and minus of Facebook, others can see you and recognize when you need help, but also it gives a platform to share your breakdowns.
I was again reminded how grateful i am for my hive.
triumphgal 