triumphgal

November 11, 2021

1 hour and 50 minutes can change a life, chart a different course, save a soul. That is the length of one phone call tonight. I had had a good day, much was accomplished. Awake before my alarm, I got ready to head down to the cenotaph for the Remembrance Day ceremony. I parked at work and walked over just in time for Oh Canada. I stopped as soon as I heard it, singing softly to myself as people passed me and looked back to see why I stopped walking. I watched as each realized, stopped, removed hats and respected. One of my favourite things is watching all the people converging from all directions. I moved closer, watching for family in the usual places. I had been standing watching for a bit when I recognized Deanne’s amazing long grey hair and her bright red and orange jacket. I moved up beside them to find myself standing beside Kimberly, my tattoo artist and friend who played my daughter in a show. It was so lovely to see her again. We also saw Emmy with her Mom and Grandparents. There was a super awkward moment when Jamie mentioned that his wife’s hair was just like mine.. she and I looked at each other, struggling for words so I just commented on the Covid grow out and let it go. He is so… uncomfortable some times.

I did take opportunity to ask Kimberly if she would be interested in designing the art work for the show posters if the directors friend was not able or willing to. She was excited about the opportunity and I hope it happens. I may ask her to do a mock up just in case. After the service I walked back to work where I had parked my car. I wanted to get a few things done and planned to meet with Tanner who was eager to design all the media for our show in exchange for recognition and promotion. I am so excited as she was the one who previously worked on CCT shows media to get it modified and ready for print when she worked for our printing company. We had a great meeting and I feel that she gets the vibe we are seeking, she is our target audience after all! When we were finished I headed over to the theatre to take care of some business including making the projector accessible as the bulbs have finally arrived and Ben will go reinstall it and aim it for the rental use we have coming up. I also was given one of the banners from the last show to use as a tarp to further cover things for the winter. I like to repurpose. Once back at the office, I dug in and got over 20K of subsidies for a client, reconciled march to Sept for another and ran payroll for yet another. Those were all good things to get done in peace and quiet.

I realized suddenly that it was time to rush home and grab my stuff for MMA. When I got home I quickly made up the beds for Jake and Emmy, tidied a bit, checked the bathroom leak (yep it’s leaking out from under the tub and Scott is away for a few days..), and then grabbed my gear and headed to RMMA. It turned out to be Stick and Knife night which did not involve running or crunches so I loved it! The only thing is that my right side feels very worked out and my left feels very left out. I did have a great moment when I took a swing and broke my stick although that would be bad in a fight! I have such a problem with knives, swords, etc. But did enjoy the whole thing. The other women are so awesome. There is a sense of dedication but not competitiveness or judgement. I am so grateful to Christi for sticking to it with me as I didn’t feel like going but messaged her to see if we had a date tonight and when she said yes, I was in.

I got home and started making my shrimp dinner. I suddenly got an overwhelming thought of Kashy, the woman who lives in the apartment above the one I used to own in New Westminster. I was cooking but felt strongly that I hadn’t heard from her in a while and I needed to call. The phone rang for a long time. I was about to give up when she answered. For one hour and 50 minutes I mostly listened. I believe there may have been a life saved tonight. She admitted that she was sorting things to get rid of, purging because she saw no reason to keep living and didn’t want to leave a mess. She told me all the stories and there was some madness, no doubt but mostly I knew when to make listening sounds and when to respond with advice that was needed. I find in dealing with her that I understand what it is like to be a councilor, there is a certain detachment necessary, a certain balance between care and skepticism. I know some of her stories were from a mind that lives in fear. She believes that neighbour’s are stealing TV by watching hers so she closes her curtains. I know from living there that there are no apartments that can see into hers, but she believes it. I only really worry that some day no one will answer her phone and I will never know what happened. She has no relationship that she could let know to tell me if something happens to her. What I do know is my gut, my spider senses, my radar.. is accurate. This does not make me special, it just makes me grateful for those who have come before, for those who truly served this country. I pray we all do our little bit to serve and love, in their honour and our own.

A wee sidebar to my day was a phone call from someone in the know just to let me know to take all precautions seriously these days in Cranbrook. I feel that my clinic and the hospital may being going through something if I read between the lines. I was even wearing my mask in the park so I shall continue to be diligent.

November 11, 2021

Over the course of a day as I am on the treadmill, in the shower, pumping gas, making dinner, I have deep thoughts that I want to share. I write blogs in my head on different subjects and then because I didn’t make any notes, I forget by the time I go to actually type. I fear that the truly interesting topics are left in ashes in my brain. They are purged by the action of thinking them. Sometimes the subjects that are left at days end are the ones I am choosing not to share lest someone is insulted or strongly opinionated about.

Today began as always, on the treadmill, watching Netflix. I am nearly done season three of YOU. It is a quirky show and completely fantastical. In some ways it is honest in its portrayal of relationships, the twisted thinking that is there. Work was calm and smooth again and much got done. I did take some time to go to the post office and send off my parcel to the UK. Can’t wait for my besties to get the package of festivities. I do understand why shipping is so expensive when you order something on line as Canada Post is very expensive. I am grateful to have saved some money through using my small business discount card. All worth it to share the joy of the season though! And such a festive box, don’t you think?! While I was there I remembered that Mark had told me about the CP Rail holiday train collector coin. Of course I had to have it. I was showing it to Emmy when I realized it shows day and night views, how trippy is that?

Just before three, Danika dropped off Emmy so she and Malcolm could go to the midwife. That was an experience. She is quite entertaining, including taking a bunch of pictures in the bathroom. She did ask me if my bobble had a glow stick sword which by far is my favourite definition of a light sabre ever! All went well for her baby sister’s impending arrival. I look forward to Emmy staying here with her Dad when he comes to visit this weekend.

I came home and had some leftovers, enjoying the thought of wearing my new boots tomorrow that arrived today from Marks. What a good deal! I also had messaged conversations with both the director and the person I reached out to to design the poster we are imagining. I will meet with Tanner tomorrow and Duncan is reaching out to his friend who is an artist to do the centre work for us. All will be revealed…

I was sitting on the couch enjoying my shows when I realized I had meant to go to Safeway on my way home. It was the last day of some airmile deals and 2 for 1 specials. I jumped in the car and headed there to actually enjoy the peace and quiet and my cashier was lovely. I got gas first with a 15 cent off per litre coupon and then took the coupon from that to use on the groceries. I was glad I went as I picked up things for the kid coming to visit this weekend.

On my way home I remembered I had left things in the fridge at work that I wanted at home. I stopped to pick them up and startled poor George, the janitor. A family of deer crossed in front of me and when I stopped I realized they were in a crosswalk. I was glad to have stopped long enough to take a picture as a small dawdler happened along shortly after.

Once home I settled in to watch my 90 day shows which I can’t seem to let go.. I see new shows pop up but am refraining as I really need to start reading again. I have so many good books calling my name!

November 9, 2021

I found myself crying in the shower this morning trying to wash away the sadness of the season that tries to overwhelm. Suddenly I realized I needed to turn it around so I chose my unicorn leggings and built the rest of my outfit around them. If life gets to be too Feelzy, just dress like a 4 year old and head to the office. It worked! I got a crazy amount done and fully maintained my joy and calmness. My friend Zoey came to visit and although I hadn’t seen her in a while we had a great laugh at our unicorn outfits, although hers was far superior. I had a good meeting after work with the stage manager and director of the show, clarifying roles, discussing stage plots, set, posters and overall vision for the show. It brought back the joy of the project. While we were in the meeting it began to snow heavily but passed on thankfully. It was 9 by the time my car melted and I got myself home to make dinner. My Pampered Chef order was waiting for me and I am so excited, looking forward to using the meat chopper. The bamboo spoons are exquisite. Dinner was delicious but it was 10 when I sat down to eat. I must break that bad habit again!

November 8, 2021

I logged off last night and then remembered a few other things from the day. Here is the picture of how far I got on the puzzle

When I was cleaning my purses I found the ring I lost at a local bonspiel when I was there watching friends play. I think it was late 2019 or very early 2020. I had even checked that garbage as it was pretty new to me at the time and I was sad not to have found it. For some reason in my life jewelry comes back to me. I still have hope for my earring from Halloween night.

I learned something by reading all the details of my colonoscopy results… the sedation used was fentanyl! Who knew??

Early in the day today I was contacted by a woman who knew Jackie back in her Alberta days and she was out of country when the aneurysm happened. She has been seeking answers and somehow, through my blog, her daughter sleuthed finding me and today we connected. I still have a hard time revisiting those early days and explaining that my friend is there but she’s not there and yet she is, is so complicated.

I wanted to fit more things in than I did today but when I sit back and revisit the things crossed off the list, I have done well. I did not however get home until 8. I had had a large lunch of half my leftovers so I made a warm cup of chicken broth for dinner and enjoyed it so much. I think it is my new comfort food. I think the time change has kicked my butt and I am off to bed.

November 7, 2021

Awoke at a decent time due to the time change. There was a bit of snow on the ground so I decided once I had a relax and did a whack of indoor chores that I should get outside and finish putting away the Halloween decorations etc. It was windy and cold but I finished putting everything away, clipped the garden, added more dirt around my rose and talked the clippings away. Sadly the lights around my willow tree don’t work. I had left them wound around it since last winter and they had actually begun to be grown into the tree. They were so tight I think damage may have happened. I took them down and just plugged in the ones on the Maple which were fine. Once I was done I came in and started a puzzle and watched shows. My eyes kept watering and itching and I realized I am allergic to my neighbour’s cats. She leant me the puzzle and it is giving me a reaction. It is further proof that Missy is the cat for me as I have no reaction to her unless she scratches me by accident and I get a welt. I had a good long FaceTime with a friend while I made dinner. It was tasty. Huge servings though so there are a couple meals worth left for tomorrow. I tried purposefully to just tune out the obligations in my life today aside from household things. I had planned to go into the office but am glad I didn’t. I continued to do the puzzle. I forgot how peaceful and calming it is for me to do them. I glanced outside and saw that it had snowed again. I don’t think there is a forecast for much yet.

I did get the results of my colonoscopy and apparently everything looks fine, no sign of diverticulitis or cancer or anything else. I have follow up in a couple weeks and will ask what he thinks is causing the distress. I probably have to change something in my diet and drink more water. Good news, in any case.

One of my chores today was to dump three purses out and sort into one. There were 16 pens, $17, missing items and a bags worth of gum and mints.

I am so sad for the deaths at the music festival in Houston. 8 people between 14 & 27 crushed when a crowd surged. That is terrifying.

November 7, 2021

Oh my, how far is too far with the Llama craze? I spotted these glasses in Winners today and still am not sure how I feel about them.

I got 10 and a half hours sleep last night, watched a few shows over coffee and then headed to the theatre. I met Matt and let him gather his electronics he had leant to the show. I also requested he send me an invoice for the last of the gear we need. We had an interesting conversation about discovering, unknown at the time, reasons for things happening. I like seeing him happy and that we can have deep conversations without having to go into lengthy descriptions of moods, or motivations. We both have experience with the darker side of our Psyches. One of the other fun moments in my morning was my friend sending me links to Bruno Mars and the new album dropping. I do like all the songs and the videos are perfect slices of the 70s. We both like sending each other music and I was happy to share the artist I saw tonight at Key City. Celeigh Cardinal is amazing. Such a powerhouse singer/songwriter. I was happy to be back volunteering, it is a non stress time for me and I am able to help out. Tonight was bar tending.

In between I had my nails done and then went shopping at Winners just for a peaceful wander. I did find a wonderful jammie hoody. It even matches my slippers. All in all a nicely balanced day and now I am ready to get sleep although with the Fall Back time change I will be up earlier tomorrow.

November 6, 2021

A day that was only mildly sucky ended up full of all kinds of comedy. I went straight from work to meet Ashlée, Roger and Rae-Anne at the Heidout for dinner before a comedy show at Key City Theatre. We were first at a small table and then moved to a booth which made Rae especially happy as her fave waiter, Zach worked that section. He is a lovely young man who now lives up the block from them, As always I let them know I have a pepper allergy and the chef came out to clarify some items in what I ordered which was lovely. We had appetizers and beverages and I mentioned I liked my wine glass and needed to add it to my collection. Zach said he would hook me up. Surf and turf was the special and it was good, not fabulous, but good. We had lots of time and were enjoying ourselves so we decided to have dessert as well. After being told the cheese cake Flavour was Banana Cream, that was ordered as well as Toffee Brownie and another Apple something. I have forgotten the other because the cheese cake will always live in infamy. It arrived at our table via someone not our server and we all just looked at it at first, wondering what it was. Finally we all took a bite and I said, oh no that is not good, it’s peppers! Ash said the piece of fruit she ate tasted familiar but wrong and Roger just had a quizzically horrified face. We saw another server walking by and asked what it was and it turns out it was Mango Sweet Pepper! Yes, I now have to mention I am allergic to peppers when dessert is ordered! Poor Zach was horrified and embarrassed, gave us a discount and me a wine glass. We know it wasn’t his fault and we were laughing at the irony of it all.

Next in store was a raunch filled night of comedy courtesy of Cranbrook’s own, Mark McCue and Newfoundland’s own, Lisa Baker. A good night all around. It was nice to make memories with the kids.

This odd machine is in my Physiotherapists office. Looks like something right out of the 1950s.

This was my favourite meme of the week

PS Happy Birthday Claire!!

November 4, 2021

I am caught in a nightmare… this is my release, my therapy that costs around a dollar a day rather than $200 an hour. Everything I go to write, every thought processed tonight earns a backspace key on repeat. My ability to be me is fueled by my ability to leave things in the moment. I rarely carry a grudge, seldom give up on anyone and am straight forward. Perhaps my biggest problem is that I try not to say anything about you to anyone else that I wouldn’t say to your face and sometimes that creates a tornado of honesty that isn’t always welcomed. I want to talk about at least 3 major issues in the last 12 hours but nothing good will come of it because some readers will have the need to share my thoughts. I cannot purge lest I open myself up to more… see can’t even touch the subject…

No need to read between the lines, no need to guess where fault lies… no blame, only solutions. Yeah, that mantra is wearing thin. I find myself, all day, questioning whether I am fit for the public. I think that I may be becoming a fearful combination of Howard Hughes and Greta Garbo… ‘I vant to be alone”. This month is full of much public volunteer time but then I can slink into the shadows and finish producing, balance the books and fulfill my time until my commitments are done.

What an ironic day to pick up the 25 buttons I ordered from a local to give out to people who need them most. It’s a shame I didn’t have them with me yesterday at the hospital. I need one staring me in the face at the moment… Or maybe that is what I am doing, being kind and quiet. Holy Chic Art + Design makes lovely things and she stuck an awesome sticker in that she has no idea how much it means today especially. I put it on the wall by my door so I see it on the way out.

November 3, 2021

I was up at 6 and completing my prep for the procedure. Finished with a cup of black coffee at 7:30 and then cleaned and tidied, showered etc until Keri picked me up at 9:30 for a ride to the hospital. Once there I was given a bed and a gown, told to keep on my socks and that I would be after a coffee break and one other person, so about 40 minutes. The nurse was cheery and chatty but… oddly not conscious of hygiene. She spent the most time I have ever seen warming my arm and checking for the best place to put the IV, went away to get the stuff to do it and as she sat down beside me said, “sorry, I just have to tie my shoe first”. I laughed and said ‘well, as long as you hand sanitize after, no problem’ to which she replied, “I wasn’t going to, but I will now”. There followed a conversation about my Covid consciousness as she called it and I said that I just didn’t want to be sick from anything and that I wasn’t turning into Howard Hughes yet but suspected that would lighten up once I started travelling again. I was saying I always wanted to cruise the Panama but wasn’t wanting to cruise anytime soon due to Covid and Legionnaires and other things and she told me I was nearly Howard Hughes. Such strange talk from a nurse! And really I only mentioned she clean her hands before putting a needle in me!! Up side was I have good blood pressure in spite of that 124/68. The Dr and the OR staff were lovely and in no time at all I was waking up to coffee and cookies and being told there was nothing serious nor cancerous. I will have follow up in a few weeks. Keri was sweet enough to drive me home and even bring my Hello Fresh order that had arrived at the office. I relaxed for the rest of the afternoon, dosing off and on until it was time to make some dinner and get picked up for the Hockey Game. I was feeling good, just had to wake up from the sedation. I also made a dinner that would be easy to digest.

At the game I sat with Ashlée in our usual seats as Bill and Deanne, Roger and Rae were all up as guests in a box. It let Ash and I have a good visit as there was no one around us to disturb and the game was a huge blow out for us against Merritt. I hate when scores are so one sided, you start to feel bad for the other team.

November 2, 2021

It was a long satisfying day at work. I was able to sneak some moments to place a small order for my friends Epicure and Pampered Chef parties. There was one thing I wanted from each. Of the two things I ordered from Pampered Chef I have heard one is back ordered and out of the order from Epicure I didn’t get the one thing I wanted as it was not currently available, Oh Canada Dry rub. It was nice to support a friend. I know what it is like to hold parties.

I stayed later to get my top priority items cleared off the desk as I will not be available tomorrow. I have a colonoscopy finally which was referred after my stint in hospital last New Years. I think it is the final piece of that whole puzzle and maybe they will finally determine why i had a portion of paralyzed bowel. I forgot I was supposed to be on clear fluids all day and had brought a lunch of my delicious left overs. Fortunately I remembered before I ate but I had not brought any fluids. Aside from coffee and water I bought a Gatorade out of the machine. Once i left the office i popped into Safeway for jello and broth, managing to get jello in me before meeting Rae and Roger at the cinema. We watched Venom from the comfy chairs. I liked it but there were moments when it was too much for me as the ‘amoeba’ was a monster from my nightmares. I think there were only 8 people in the audience. I don’t know how they are staying open, but am glad they are.

I got home quickly after the movie to take my picosalax which will start to clear out my system in anticipation of tomorrow. I remember the whole thing from 5 or 6 years ago when I had my first one. I seem to remember the prep was worse than the procedure. I am grateful that Keri has agreed to pick me up and bring me to the hospital and if I am done before her kids need her, she will bring me back home as well. I am just going to concentrate on it all going smoothly and that they find some answers. I am a bit hungry right now but my chicken broth was tasty. I should go to bed as I have to get up at 6 to take the rest of the solution. We did announce the cast of the play today and that is exciting. It’s getting real!

November 1, 2021

I feel like compared to last year, this year is ripping by. It is Nov already and so little time left in the great 2021. It does feel good to be at the start of a new month. Each month starts with hope and a plan. I didn’t have time to plan but it was nice when a client stopped by with his paperwork on the first day instead of the last week. He gave me a cheque to pay the last invoice and after he left I noticed he hadn’t signed it so I ran out to the parking lot. He saw me and got out of his car where he was not wearing a mask. I was so surprised to see he had a mustache and goatee! He actually looked better than ever. It’s funny how in this case the masks of the last long time hid the changes. After work I went to the Fire and Oak to see if they had found my missing earring. It is one of my favourite pair that an artist friend made. I still have hope it will show up. While I was there I experienced privileged people thinking they could come in without being vaccinated. I chose to get out of the shots being fired. Unfortunately they had not found my earring. I got home too late to make dinner as I needed to be at the theatre for 6:30 to address and photograph the director and cast. Once I got to the theatre I gave them a quick tour, explained all the building items, fire exits, etc and then took pictures for the press release. Once I got home I put them into a pic collage so Ashlée could approve posting it for tomorrow. I had already sent the text to go with it. She posted Peter’s blog today instead of mine which still annoys me a bit. I wrote a beautiful piece…

Quite possibly the best moment of my day was when a box arrived and I had no idea where it came from because I forgot that I had ordered through my air miles a bundle of two games with the nightmare before Christmas theme. I am so excited as they look amazing