triumphgal

January 31, 2022

Today was full of so much accomplishment and joy. I worked until 3:30 and then went to the theatre to finish putting up the siding on the set. It has become a thing of beauty, like the vision we had. I am so grateful for the time Duncan and I spent in the summer, recovering extremely dried cedar siding off the Perreault’s shed that was being demolished. It really looks good on the set. The cast and crew all arrived and the final details of the next month were settled. I stayed for the run of the show, the first rehearsal with working set and props. I was so moved by it. I had not been the biggest fan of the show initially but was sure I would be once they got it on it’s feet and wow. I really hope all the advertising hitting the airwaves and media gets it the crowd it deserves. I am so happy with the work everyone has done.

Just as the show was over and I was expressing my feelings my phone rang and it was my Mom letting me know my Great Aunt Ollie had passed away this evening. It was not a surprise, she is 93 and has gone down quickly this past couple weeks. That did not make the emotions any less. I was overwhelmed and had to just sit there and cry as everyone tidied up to lock up and leave. A tough ending to a good day.

My aunt was that person who has always just been a strong personality in my life. So many summers and Christmas vacations spent sleeping in the big high old fashioned metal beds in her home, listening to her tales of battles with the moles in her garden and being taken to task when I needed it, sometimes when I didn’t, but in the end we just had love. She was the youngest in a big family. Her remaining two brothers died before Christmas at ripe old ages and now she has followed, the last of her family. I feel deeply for this end of a generation, for the pain her children and grandchildren are feeling. I know my kids are feeling the loss of her as well. When they were young, her name was Auntie Odie, lol. I don’t think I ever beat her at Scrabble, although I sure remember trying. I will hold onto those memories and remember her always.

January 30, 2022

I had a good sleep, and was having a coffee while checking my email when I received a text from Diane to go for a walk at Jim Smith Lake. As I wasn’t needed at the theatre until 1:30, I got myself dressed appropriately and she picked me up. She gifted me with the perfect set of grippers that fit over my winter hikers. We spent about an hour circling a big loop on the frozen lake. There were big cracks and on occasion there were loud noises that were unnerving but apparently it is normal. I will admit that one of the occurrences got my blood pounding a little. It was such a great visit and a wonderful way to get my steps in. It started to softly snow as we made our way back to her truck. The grippers were incredible, I had no stress about falling, nor did I have to walk like a penguin.

Once dropped off, I got changed into my painting clothes and headed to the theatre. Before I left I received an email that there was a rental until 3:30 which threw off the plan. Duncan, Matt and I spent time in the basement building the recycle box set piece and getting ready to work onstage. Aspen and Camille arrived and we all got as much done as possible before we had to clear up and leave as the church was in the studio and I was using a chop saw to put the siding on the set. I am sure we would have had noise complaints. We are all very thrilled with what we got done though and made plans to take some work time off to come and do more. It needs to be done before next weekend as that will all be dedicated to tech and then the following Friday is opening night already!

Bill and Deanne invited the family for a delicious dinner of flank steak, roast potatoes, Caesar salad and cheesecake. So spoiled and lovely to spend time together. Deanne introduced me to an app she uses to track her walks and hikes called Runkeeper. I downloaded it and know it will inspire me to get out there more.

Once I got home I worked on show items for Social Media and reviewed draft number two of the program. It looks really great and with the couple of additions I had, will be ready to send for review by the Production Manager and Director and then off to the printer. I need to make sure nobody gets left out.

All in all it was a lovely productive day. This weekend didn’t turn out at all like I planned but it was good.

Oh, and I finished the wee little puzzle from hell over my coffee this morning.

January 30, 2022

I had no intention of leaving the house today, but I realized I needed to go see what was up with the set and be of help. There was a painting party scheduled for 2 so I had coffee and finished my 2 sided puzzle. I am ever so glad I went. As it happens I was able to help make a plan to finish the set and stabilize it. I suggested they not do the faux fencing that would look odd but rather do faux building walls which was widely accepted as a good and easier plan. Duncan and I made a plan to meet tomorrow and Camille will join us as well. We will put the siding up and the new pieces of set. I look forward to spending time making happy theatre magic. Matt came by with the new to us MacBook and set it all up for Pepijn to operate. The lights are still not working properly but I did not hear back from Ben when I reached out so I will assume he is working this weekend and hope he will come early in the week. I need him to follow up on the promises made and installs that are incomplete. Fortunately I know just enough and have other resources to get this show running.

I dropped off my hockey ticket to Gene as I had work to do for the program and social media. I only need two more pictures and that will be complete. I also stopped to find out costs for the idea I had for closing night gifts. Knocking things off the list feels really great and they are happy things to be doing, also great.

Dinner and Wentworth and what could truly be the worlds hardest puzzle filled my evening. I will have to have a look at it again tomorrow as I must have some pieces in the wrong spots. Oh those Hearndens, challenging me this way!

Turns out the pointillism gift was way better than I Thought!

January 28, 2022

I am blessed by friends who read this and I start my day with encouraging messages from near and far; some touch my soul, some make me laugh, some give me hope. Today overall was awesome as I finished the last file I had to complete today and got a bunch of work preemptively done. Every one had cleared out early or wasn’t there due to C so I was able to open my door, crank Sirius and get ‘er done. I am currently listening to Eddy Trunk podcast and he is incredibly knowledgeable about hatred rock and metal. I am surprisingly interested in his interviews. My mail held a book I have been waiting for for some time now. I shall sink into the couch and enjoy it.

My goal was to get everything done and head to the hockey game, stopping at Bill and Deanne’s to trade puzzles on the way. They kindly invited me for dinner which was delicious and included a nice Smokey Scotch. It is always so nice to spend time with them. I wish I had the ambition D does to walk. Part of me was jealous of her getting out there and the other part was all “you know you are stiff for a reason” catty. She has inspired me to lose weight with her good efforts. They gave me a piece of black cheese that tasted like lemon meringue pie which just really messes with your senses. I have all kinds of ideas to use it for special occasions!

After dinner I headed to the arena and was grateful to get inside to warm up! The opposing team was from Wenatchee. I guess it is ok to come across the border now. It wasn’t the greatest game but we play them again tomorrow and will hopefully win. Aymo was a volunteer, it’s good to see the teens involved. Rae came and we had a good catch up, sharing the sorrows and fears of recent, ending in going to the FireHall for some wings and stupid expensive red wine. Both were very good and the air was cleared. We are good at that. Jordan was a great bartender/server and we enjoyed our ‘date’ night.

People are dropping like flies around me and I have to wonder if it is like chicken pox back in the day, where moms would try to get their kids infected so they would get it over with. Or maybe I will be one of the few who do not get it as I have been crazy careful. Tomorrow is paint the set day and I am thinking I should go help and thinking it is safer not to!!! I do have work to do on books tomorrow so we shall see what the mood brings.

Danika posted that they have COVID and that Emmy has been helping feed her mom, complete with lonely bread, mangled sandwiches. That child is something. I hope to see her mid February when Jake is coming for a visit.

January 27, 2022

I have lived an ‘interesting’ life. I wonder what the next 20 or so will bring. It is up to me I suppose to pick a path of least resistance and most joy. I have challenged myself, overcome fears and downfalls, and come out satisfied. I am experiencing regrets for the first time in my life, a side effect of aging, I suppose. I have lived under the false pressure of thinking I had to do something, be someone, leave a legacy. I was given the legacy of trauma, that is not what I want to leave for my decedents. I think I may need to make at least a 5 year plan, make a list of the things I would regret not doing. I am so caught up in the pandemic fear, I am giving up things I have previously thought I never would. Some of those choices are well made. I can only work on my weaknesses, leave others to be themselves, supporting them when they need it. Tonight I go to sleep aware that my Auntie Ollie is in her end days. It is likely anyway, with her failing health. At 93 one does not have many reserves. I wish I could see her, spend time laughing but the Pandemic keeps me away, aware of her fragility. I can only continue to FaceTime and text with her daughters, be here with hugs when they need them. We all play a part in this circle, this world, this life. I need to be my best for others who are suffering in my circle at this time, give them positive energy, not drain it.

January 26, 2022

I wasn’t even in a mood for Social Media last night so I barely noticed my friends picture of her daughter as it only registered as what I thought was a before and after hair picture. This morning the post was still at the top of my feed and I learned her beautiful daughter had died on Monday only days after her daughter’s 11th birthday. It is unimaginable to lose a child and sadly I know several who have, far too young. This darling girl was such a joy to be around, I will never forget camping with the three generations of them oh so long ago. Rest In Peace sweet Ciara, don’t worry your Mom and lovely Lily will be well cared for. This sadness I feel is honest, it will lift not to be replaced by the petty whining of yesterday.

I came home and made my last Hello Fresh, had a glass of wine and started The World’s Most Difficult Puzzle. It is double-sided with the same image, but one side is turned 90 degrees and then it’s cut from both sides so you can’t feel which is the back side. It’s not that hard… or I guess my puzzle brain is a good escape right now.

January 25, 2022

First let me start by saying this is not a goodbye message, but just where my headspace is tonight. Not exactly a pity party but just a general feeling that there will be a sigh of relief when I stop having opinions in groups that I work with. It is literally my job, paid or not, to have opinions, but I realize why so many things don’t change because offering suggestions is opening yourself up to being criticized for being observant and speaking up. I think I’m at the point of just keeping my mouth shut, meeting expectations, and moving on. I had a very interesting conversation with a gentleman who had lost his wife not too long ago. We are of a similar generation and go into deep conversation about motivation and best place to spend one’s time. I observed that I only want to do that which makes me want to leave the house. No I don’t always feel great about getting up and heading to the office. I am Not the biggest fan of scooping the litter box and taking out the garbage but those both give me a sense of satisfaction when I’m done. My New Year’s intention was to Marie Kondo my life. Sure I need to thin out the stuff in my life but more than the things I need to apply that to where I expend energy. The timer is running down on my obligations. I shall continue to do what is expected of me and I shall try to smile while I do it.

January 24, 2022

I enjoyed work today, knocking things off the list.

I announced my commitment to Dry February with only one night off, closing night of the play. From now until Wednesday there is a matching donor so should you be interested in the Cancer Fundraiser https://www.dryfeb.ca/users/marnee-bellavance every amount counts!

After work I picked up a printer that Di was paying forward as the kids need one. She also gave me the cutest little play kitchen for Emmy. I’m sure she will love to play it outside this summer and I have the table and chairs to go with it. I will likely set up a little play area under the pergola.

I had a late dinner and got half way through a puzzle. At first I was trying not to use the picture but was having trouble with the Vancouver Museum of Art… seems their spell checker missed one

I was heading to bed when I saw a Facebook post reminding me about the convoy heading to Ottawa and I have to say it annoys me. I believe in the public right to gather and protest peacefully but this is taking away our already seriously compromised supply chain especially in BC. Who knows how many days weeks or months our food supply, mail, packages, medical supplies & never mind building supplies will take to get back to normal availability because they have to drive all the way back as well.

January 24, 2022

I awoke to the sound of a text from one of the grandsons telling me they had left a gift on my porch. I suspect they knocked but too softly for me to hear from my room. I found a new pointillism picture. I haven’t opened it yet as II had too much work to do today to get distracted. It is Lilo and Stitch themed and I was told I should watch the movie again while I am doing it. I just may take that advice. I had breakfast and headed out to a beautiful day to take down my inflatables. Before I got very far my phone started ringing and I had a good long FaceTime with Emmy. I do love catching up and hope we can have a stay over again soon. I should have one of the boys in the near future as well but am keeping distances still until the covid numbers are down. A connected row of my yard décor had come unplugged at one pont and became frozen in the snow so I had to leave it there lest it rip. Missy seemed quite interested in where her friends went and she spent a good deal of time outdoors with me which was the longest time in months. I worked at trying to get the snow/ice removed from the walk where it is still compacted from coming off the roof but had little luck. I need a metal blade.

The rest of the day involved working on books and finishing some shows in the back ground. Stay Close on Netflix is recommended as was the poignant last season of Afterlife. And I got a full 8 hours and a full years worth of info in which feels very satisfying. I took breaks to work on theatre bits and that is all coming along brilliant as well. My neighbour gave me some high end ground beef and I made a nummy dinner. A good day was had.

January 23, 2022

Got up feeling rested, did some chores and then got dressed for work before settling at the dining room table. I didn’t get too far but I did get all my laundry done. I also dealt with a bunch of theatre things and finished my puzzle. This one was just the right amount of difficulty. Didn’t take too long but kept me interested and it is 39” wide. It is so strange not to be able to identify all the buildings on the Vancouver skyline any more. I finished watching ‘And Just Like That’, am done the second season of ‘After Life’ and am ready to watch the third. It is strangely touching and completely odd ball at the same time. If I took a shot every time I heard the C word, I’d be passed out smashed. That is probably the biggest difference between us and the Brits. I wonder if they think that about MF in American movies?

January 21, 2022

I owe a shout out to my friends that I forget are in the age range I would have called old. I forget they are that much older than me as they put me to shame with their active lifestyles and young personalities. At my age they were climbing Machu Picchu while I was taking the train and wouldn’t even consider such a climb then, never mind now. The age issue became a ‘wow, they are gone too soon’ when I learned first of Meatloaf at 74 and Louis Anderson at 68 passing away. Bat Out of Hell was my first Rock album, I still have it. I was fortunate to see him in concert and still can’t sit still when Paradise By The Dashboard Light comes on. Gone are the days of dancing to the end of probably the longest song ever played in a club.

I was at work for over 9 hours today and didn’t make a penny but got all the things done for the theatre in time for the board meeting next week and further prep for the play. It was a long but satisfying day.

I got home to a message from my cousin that her Mom is not doing well and as she is in her 90s we don’t know how long she has. I FaceTimed her to debrief and we ended up chatting for over 3 hours. I don’t think there is anyone else on the planet I can do that with. She has known me since I was 2 and there is nothing to fill in the blanks about, we just ramble on about family, books, politics, etc. I feel so filled up again.

There was a point in the day that I stopped to scroll my facebook feed and stopped dead at a picture my dear friend in Cumberland had posted. I recognized a guy in it and texted her to ask who it was. When she confirmed his name I told her my story and we had a good laugh. He is her sisters husband, seems they were childhood sweethearts and reconnected and were married in 2018. He and I were an item back on Salt Spring over 15 years ago. It was so strange to see his picture as I always wondered where he ended up after our difficult parting. Sadly he had lived up to his nickname, Liquid Plumber. Seems he has himself together now and is happy. I’m glad to see that. What a weird small world.

January 20, 2022

It was just a regular, nose in the books, kind of day. Nothing out of the ordinary to report except my horror that it is Paul Stanley’s 70th birthday. Tick tock, the clock is ticking. To see the people from the posters on the walls of my bedroom turn… old, is somewhat unsettling. Many are dead, or show up on celebrity rehab and others are subject of documentaries and exposés.

My antihistamine seemed to do the trick today, no sneezes! Dinner was Hello Fresh and was light and filling. The rest of the evening was puzzling, literally.

There was one fun thing in the middle of the afternoon when I took a Be My Eyes call. I read a graph with viscosity levels of various foods for a gentleman in Toronto. We ended up having a great chat about Whole Foods, skiing, and beautiful BC. He longs to come out West to see the Sunshine Coast. I was able to tell him about Gibson’s where the iconic Persephone and Molly’s Reach are from the Canadian classic, Beachcombers. I like helping out and get more from it in the end.

January 19, 2022

Midway through the day every day and then midway through the evening every evening right now I can’t stop sneezing. In order to avoid this unpleasantness I am going to start taking on schedule antihistamines. The eye watering that comes along with it is especially annoying and I regretted wearing mascara today. I did get some big work out-of-the-way which included a three hour zoom assist with a shared desktop and a client in Kimberley. I seem to be doing OK on the Noom food awareness program. My mistaken box of hello fresh arrived including a meal full of peppers that I gave to Sean. He appears to have forgotten it at work. Oh well at least it is in the fridge. I warmed up another serving of the shepherds pie I made at the beginning of the week and it was possibly even better. And then settle down to watch my shows and finish the picture I was working on although I am sad it is done. I really enjoy doing it and the subject matter of course is right up my alley and I think it looks good enough to frame. I should be looking for other pointillism pictures on sale because it was so relaxing. I did start a 39 x 13“ puzzle that I got a while ago of the skyline of downtown Vancouver, a place near and dear to my heart. Vancouver is a place I would like to introduce my friends to. Jake and I used to be really great at finding gallery openings and two-for-one specials at museums and things but I wonder if they even exist in these pandemic times.

January 18, 2022

The news today is that the theatre will still be able to run at half capacity until the end of day the 18th of February. Hopefully by then things will open up again. That will be half way through the run of the show which means we have a good chance of finishing the run with potentially full houses. In the meantime we just have to get butts in the seats. These guys have done a lot of work on an intense character driven show. The set is under construction, the lights and audio are being worked on, costumes and props are coming together… all the things. This is good.

I am so tired but accomplishing all I must at the moment. I have pushed aside my MusicFest invitations to get through this month. When the show is on it’s feet, I will switch gears. I have surprisingly only heard from one person so far reaching out to confirm his spot on the crew. He always does first so it made me smile he was right on cue. I did a lot of work ahead of the cancellation in 2020 but am willing to take that chance again. It is something to look forward to.

When I shut down the file I was working on for my client who owns a couple Cannabis shops, the timer made me smile. Synchronicity.

I came home and made a spaghetti squash, topping half with a few tablespoons of bruschetta and a bit of cheese. It was tasty, healthy and filling, all the right things.

I wish I could figure out why every year at this time my nose starts to run, seemly coincidental to the melt. Maybe something is released and is in the air. Maybe there is too much cat hair in my house now that she barely steps out due to the weather. I guess I could vacuum and dust and see if that helps… someday.

Ah, well, I am off to Never, Never, Land

January 17, 2022

I worked long and hard on many payroll files today. I was glad for the quiet and few interruptions. Unfortunately there are at least three away taking precautions to feel or stay healthy. I was exhausted from concentrating so hard and glad for having done groceries and came home to make a pizza with a wholewheat pita, some bruschetta and grated cheese under the broiler. It was tasty and a good serving even if I gobbled it down. The rest of the evening was spent watching 90 days and then the first two episodes of “And Just Like That” which was a heart-wrenching trip down memory lane. I look forward to more.

It is my first husband’s 65th birthday today, the father of my daughters. There are so many thoughts flying in my head when I stop to really think about how different our lives would be should my post-partum depression not have been left untreated. We get along very well now. Every once in a while I completely forget that we were married once, that we despised each other for a time, that my heart raced in my chest when I got the news he’d been nearly killed in an accident, years ago. I think it even stranger to process that he is retirement age today. I was a stay at home mom when we were together. I cooked and cleaned and sewed and canned and crafted and did all the things.. and I left when I was barely 25. Now from the vantage point of 58 it is hard to feel so much closer to the end than the beginning. Bill is already 5 months older than my Dad was when he died. It felt too young 18 years ago, now it proves to be a life cut too short. Bill is a good man, and life became what it was supposed to for both of us. I envy what he has, I cherish what I had in the years between. It’s funny though, how often I am reminded that I am the one who left. For this whole month whenever I glanced at my calendar I wondered what we would do to celebrate Bill. I found out after the fact, that it happened last night. So I wished him a happy birthday on Facebook, like every one else, and got on with my day.

January 16, 2022

I guess I really needed to sleep because 11 1/2 hours later I woke up quite refreshed. My throat is no longer sore, there is still a little catch in my chest but that is normal for me and I only had to blow my nose twice today so really it’s a win-win. I didn’t manage to get outdoors or go for any long walks but I’ve made tremendous strides at the file I needed to work on and I made Food that gave me four portions of delicious shepherds pie. I have started to cook for myself again without the HelloFresh kit. I am rather enjoying it and when they billed me for a kit I didn’t want today that included things I am allergic to I called them and cancelled completely and they refunded today’s even though it’s all ready on the way. Another win-win.

I think it’s time to stop working as it’s 948 at night and do a little bit of my pointillism before I go to bed. I have had the handmaid’s tale on in the background. It actually gives me a lot of stress thinking this could be a real thing or knowing that there are women in the world treated that poorly. I have felt like a possession at times in my life so that could be what gives me the tightness in my chest when I watch shows like this and yet I am obsessed at the same time.

January 16, 2022

I never really got dressed today. I was outside a couple times trying to break up the snow that had compacted off the roof but it was impossible. Because of the rising temps the whole place continued to shudder occasionally when more let go and landed with a thud. Mostly I watched shows as I did my Jack picture. It is really coming along which of course makes me obsessed. I was assisting a client off and on and then just got to work on their books. I stopped for dinner, home made air fries and then kept working right up until now. I used to always work better in the evenings. I am pretty stuffed up, just took a prescription antihistamine and will tuck in soon. I even gave Ash my hockey ticket.

January 14, 2022

Although I got much done today, I was, in the back of my brain consumed with thoughts of my Booster shot later in the day. I have had a sore throat that seemed milder today and I have blamed it on it’s coming to be after the heavy use of Pinesol near my office earlier in the week. Although I would think that to be the norm, there was always the chance that I had picked up the virus. As I have not got a fever or extreme tiredness, nor a headache, I decided to go for it. It turned out to be a very pleasant experience with Claire, the woman giving me the shot. We chatted travel and she was entranced by my tales of Peru and the UK/Paris. Our mutual friend, Paula was the nurse in charge and she came over to give us the gears and get me that shot. I am now 3x Pfizered and like the others, feel nothing in my arm. I spent the next bit of time picking up a paper at my old Dr.’s office, making an appointment at my optometrist and enrolling at the new Urgent and Primary care clinic, hoping to get a new Dr. All of these were in the old Cranbrook Mall, which back in the day was a thriving commercial centre and seems to have found a repurpose as a medical mall. There you can see a physiotherapist, get and X-ray, rent from the Red Cross, get a CPAP machine or glasses, have your hearing checked, pick up a prescription, see a Dr and even grab a meal at the Spice Hut. It really is a great concept and there is plenty of parking and all on one level for easy access.

After shopping for groceries with my Noom lists in hand, I came home and unloaded all the healthy delicious choices, made some dinner, chatted with my Mom and messaged with my Auntie Trish in Washington state. She misses her family and at nearly 79 thinks she will never see her only child, my cousin Andrea in Alberta, again. I am sorry for her. I know she loves her little community she is in but no one can easily visit her now, nor for such a long time. I miss my semi-regular stops to see her.

After that I crawled into a tub and watched Red Notice. It was highly entertaining although Ryan may be type cast…

The other thing I did today was order a couple boxes of Rapid tests from a company in Vancouver. I am splitting a box with The Guedes’s and the other will be available upon private request from any cast and crew working on our show. I think that will give everyone involved another layer of comfort. They worked out to just over $10 each which is cheap security. Testkits.myzone.com

It was odd how many new foods I noticed at Safeway. I don’t know, if there are supply chain issues, there certainly are odd things getting through…

I was perusing my Twitter feed when I noticed a comment on my sons that made me laugh

The melt continues, can’t even tell how much shovelling I really did and I still can’t clear my side walk though as it is so dense

I have a bit of a headache so I took a couple Ibuprofen and look forward to no alarm tomorrow. Sweet dreams (or good morning!)

January 13, 2022

The scale was friendly again today and made me even more motivated to stay on task. I think the number 1 and 2 things I have changed the most are the amount of water I am drinking and the resistance to snacking endlessly at night. I am nearly out of green apples and I will need to get more as they are an easy go to. They taste good, have a satisfying crunch and are only 95 calories each. Far more enjoyable than the snack bag of chips (or 3). I am still having the occasional one of them but far less. I highly recommend the Noom program. https://www.talkable.com/x/3hbSjc

Went out to find the snow that fell off the roof had made a compacted mess and I couldn’t even shovel it all before I left. I was hoping it would be melted away when I got home but no such luck. Poor snowman had taken a hit as well but he’s a tough cookie and will live to annoy his partner again.

When I got to work and there was only one parking spot left at the back end of the row and I had to kind of sliding sideways to avoid the snowbank and the sidewalk. When I left work I was the only one there and it looked like I just was a terrible person practising asshat parking and like I had done a Tokyo drift to park there sigh.

Today was a combo of show and work and seemed to take forever to end. I came home and made a couple poached eggs with a little of my friend’s homemade dill dressing drizzled over them. It was delicious but I wish I’d had some sliced cukes or tomato to go with. I will have to make a proper shopping list soon. The rest of the evening was spent texting back and forth with my friend Mark , watching my shows and doing my picture craft. Drinking ta and water all evening was also good for me.