01-09-22 Oh my, did you get outside today??
I got up and made a coffee and settled in front of my puzzle, determined to finish it today. Mission accomplished!! I did get interrupted by a text to go for a walk with my neighbour and decided that was the exact thing I needed. As it turned out, I was right. The sun was shining, the conversation was great and the birds and icicles were fascinating.
I finished the puzzle and packed it away, madly began cleaning and then my friend Diane arrived with a scrumptious meal of shrimp and salad and fruit salad for dessert. We laughed and chatted and watched the 3rd and final in the Get Back documentary about the Beatles as we took down my tree together. My place feels huge with it gone. It was so nice to catch up and to feel safe to do so as we both are super Covid vigilant.
I settled to watch a show and got a message from my cousin to see if I was up for a call. She had been in Kimberley for the holidays to visit her 93 year old mom but we didn’t get to see each other to mitigate the risk. Two hours later we said goodnight. There are few people I can talk that long with on the phone. She is one of my people. There is nothing I can’t say to her, nothing that would shock her or make her love me less. She is a gift. I mean, I know I was a cute 2 year old when she met me.. what can I say. It was good to express my fears. I obsess these days about not being a burden to my kids. I am afraid that my mental health will turn me into someone that stresses them more than brings them joy. It is important to face those realities but it also keeps me living in fear of the future. I need to, as she reminded me, live in the moment and enjoy it. It is important to my mental health and really just to good quality of life on the daily. I will make it my mantra to just breathe and be. Here and now. I cannot control the future and will trust that no matter what I am loved and supported.. no matter what!
triumphgal 