The alarm rang at 5:45 and I made a black coffee and A live Facebook video explaining what today is to be all about. I had not shared it across the Friend list and wanted to ultimately share what the results would be either way. It was hard to do but I am really glad I did as the love and prayers, wonderful tributes came pouring in. seems a great number of people I know see me as tough, and special. That filled my cup. I weighed in and have lost 28 pounds now which took me 5 years to put on and just under 3 months to take off. Only 35 to go! I cleaned as instructed, packed for the two nights over and got my CPAP machine ready, watered my plants, fed the pets, put on my WonderWoman Shirt and Space llama socks and was ready for Roger to pick me up at 6:45. He dropped me off with a big hug as the sun was rising. I checked in and was promptly given a bag for my clothes and two gowns, booties and a cap. After I got changed they gave me a couple Ativan which began to work right away. I was there for a while before they rolled me to the operating room. It was cold in there! The mask to put me under didn’t work until after the extremely painful installation of the IV in the back of my left hand. Sigh.
Sackboy came along
The next thing I knew I was waking up with my friend Paula holding my hand. I was told I was moved back to the Day Surgery ward as I was going to be released that day. This was super confusing and I hadn’t talked to the Dr yet. It was 2 and I was thirsty and starving, even to get up to go to the bathroom was difficult as I was lightheaded. The nurse didn’t seem to have much information. I began to panic as what was happening didn’t match any of the information I had asked about. A lovely nurse, Heidi made me a coffee and brought cookies and cheese before leaving shift. There was also too much chatter and I couldn’t reach my bag with my earbuds and IPad. Just as I got them the nurse came and explained they were really busy as it was the overflow but she did bring me a popsicle. There was a sticker on the end of my bed that said Bed in Hall! I asked for more Ativan and she said it wasn’t on the chart. I asked if I could have food as I was also getting hangry. She came back shortly with Ativan and said Dr. Rode would be here in half an hour. I then messaged for Mom to come. Tracy came to visit for a bit and then Mom showed up as she was going back to work. Dr. Rode showed up and was almost giddy as he explained he had thought it was Cancer but it came out easy and faster than expected which meant I could go home. He showed me pictures of what he did and said to follow up in two weeks with him to remove the last of the dissolving stitches and sooner if I see any signs of infection or anything. Mom went to pull her car up and I got dressed. My bag was over the 10 pound limit so the nurse put my stuff in a wheel chair and I walked slowly beside her down to the car. We stopped for a quick moment at the store and then came home to make a live video to let everyone know the great news. I am completely exhausted at this point. We had a bevie with Tracy and then I went in to start responding to messages which were overwhelming. Mom and I hung out on the couch after I put on a nightgown, drank some Ensure and sucked on lozenges for my very sore throat.
The stowaway wore grey Only three small access points amazing
Dinner was leftover salad and shrimp with edamame and watching Young Rock and Beyond the Edge. My system feels better now. I shall head to bed to relax and sleep as needed. I have 4-5 or 6 weeks before I am supposed to be completely healed and can lift heavy things again but I can drive after tomorrow. I am told to just listen to my body and rest when needed.
I am very calm now but am feeling so much relief and joy. As freaked out as I was I truly didn’t believe this was how my story would end as I am going to make it to 105 and I have many more adventures to take.
I awoke stupid early so decided to get on with the day. I was thrilled to see I have lost 28 pounds now but was aiming for 30. I hope the stowaway has some weight to it. The first chore was to drop off my car for a list of things that should have happened when I bought it. The service guy tried to mansplain to me the importance of oil changes… that did not go well for him. I kept in mind ‘be kind or be quiet’ but seriously, I tried to book my service at the 6 month mark and was told by his predecessor that 6K was the marker. I calmly told him that I had my mechanics apprenticeship and was fully aware of the importance of oil changes.. and just do it.
The rest of the day was sketchy as I was constantly checking lists, taking care of last minute things and running payroll. I think much of my stress lies in hoping that this whole situation doesn’t make me miss any deadlines. One of my main clients had a pizza and bevie lunch to celebrate getting through another year end and I was grateful to be included but paid with stomach pains for the afternoon.
The beautiful part of today was so many people reaching out and offering love and prayers. There were glorious gifts of flowers and candles and bath treats. So many messages of support and love. It really filled my tank and took away the anxiety.
I got my car back and am happy with much of it, including the spiffy decals although you can tell up close that they were not put on by the professionals. I plan to take close up pics in case there are issues.
Rae-Anne came by with a lovely light dinner of salad and shrimp skewers that Roger made. Her kids are sick so I couldn’t go there. She showered and didn’t hug them before coming here, where we kept a good distance and had a good visit. Poor Ashlée is also sick. After tomorrow I won’t care and we will hug at will.
The rest of the evening was spent sipping Scotch in a candlelit bath while watching the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It was only interrupted by a quick visit with my neighbour Tracey who will come feed Missy in my absence. I really am grateful for the team around me whose support makes this easier.
I am so grateful for all the messages and love thrown my way that I am ready to tuck in for a good sleep knowing that no matter what I am now alone in this.
This day was (plug your ears/eyes) fucked up. I am rapid cycling panic attacks and getting things done. I called the booking number from home and left a message. Got a call while I was at work to tell to be at the hospital at 7 am on Thursday, ready to go. Of course that just triggered all the shit. Had a hard time focusing on a lot of client miscommunication today. Filed what I could, did what I was asked and felt like falling in a heap all day. I kept getting out of my chair and wandering to try to blow it off. I just want to lay in a hammock and cry, or take the anti-anxiety meds I have but i need a clear head as I have a board meeting tonight… yes obligation will always trump me.
The Board meeting went smoothly, I feel like I came up with a few clear thoughts in spite of turning off my video to cry on occasion.
I was stressing an hour before the meeting wondering through the list in my brain who I could not bother by reaching out when I got a message from my dear friend Sarah, whom I called and had the perfect thing that I needed. I miss her dearly and hope her world ends up closer to mine in the future as Bella Bella is sooooo far away!!!
I have nothing polite to say at the moment, I honestly want the world to know how afraid I am, how strong I am and…. How weak I am.
I had a pretty good sleep. Not sure if it was the oil drops or just exhaustion but I am grateful. I was also grateful that I remembered to take out the garbage.
First stop in the day was at the Urgent Care clinic to see about Bobby. I saw there were only a few people in the waiting room, was taken in quickly and met with a nurse practitioner who explained that he would be pre-screening to be sure they could help. Once that was done he said ok, just wait in the chairs and it will be about an hour. I was stunned and promptly kicked in a panic attack. I told the front staff that I just needed to go walk it off and would be back. I walked down the length of the mall and when I got back, they were waiting to take me in, bless their hearts. I saw Dr. Paula Dubois and she was simply wonderful . I hope I get assigned to her eventually. She was surprised to see that Bobby was looking like that but does not hurt or look infected. I am to keep doing what I have been, soaking in Epsom salts twice a day and if I see any signs of infection come on back. She did tell me not to worry as even if it was terribly infected and needed IV antibiotics, it would not interfere with the surgery so that is a relief.
I stopped at the dealership and confirmed that Wednesday I can drop my car off at 8 in the morning and they will shuttle me to and from the office in order to get it finished. The decals and towing wiring harness are being installed and they will figure out why the tire warning is going off again. That will be a big one off my list. I was super excited to see they had a display of the type of tent I have on my Amazon cart, waiting to push checkout once I know I will be able to camp this summer. It made me want it more.
The rest of the day was spent trying not to have panic attacks, they seem to come easily these days but I don’t want to take anti-anxiety meds if they will cloud my mind right now. I am crossing more things off the list. I purposed to get home and finish what I needed to do before I am too busy. I made up the spare bed with the fresh linen, and put George in a jug of water while I seriously cleaned his bowl and its contents. Emmy had mentioned Patrick looked like he had fur and she wasn’t wrong. He and George are much happier now.
I did some puzzle while I sat with my feet in my foot spa full of Epsom salts and watched the Oscars. I had recorded them last night and found out today about the slap heard round the world. I only have one thing to say, I wish Jada had just stood up and said that hurt and that the comment was unnecessary roughness. Now it is an uncomfortable situation all around. And there are wars out there!! Women hiding in crowded places with their children are in far more need of protection than Jada Smith. What Chris said was stupid and bullying but nothing compared to Ricky Gervais in prior years. The news cycle needs to drop it, there is much too much more important to deal with in the world.
Yesterday evening when I crawled out of the bath, I noticed my toe was not healthy. I had noticed it was not growing as fast as the others as it showed in the grow out of the polish. I suspect there has been a problem for a while but it was hidden by the opaque colour. This morning I noticed it is very cloudy half way up and oozing a bit. I read up on it without looking at pictures as toes gross me out. The recommendation is to soak in Epsom salts several times a day and use polysporin. I decided I will do those things but should probably go to the Urgent Care centre tomorrow to make sure there is no infection and find out what will happen now. I can’t believe it has done so well growing out since it was ripped off Oct 2 2020 and now is a problem again.
The day was mostly spent on chores, trying to get the place mostly ready for company, cleaning out the fridge, doing laundry, etc. I then went to the store to pick up cat food, Ensure and chicken broth for after and bananas and Greek yogurt for the next three breakfast smoothies. When I got back my neighbour, Tracy, was eager to go for a walk and we went down the road and looped the trails at Elizabeth lake. It was so warm out I had a vest over my t-shirt and had to take it off. The new red walking shoes are very comfortable and even Bobby didn’t hurt. The geese and herons were out on what is left of the ice on the lake and even a swan was hanging out on one of the marsh islands. After we sat outside and had a beverage. It is so good to enjoy the Spring that has arrived.
I have not felt well after the walks on each day, drained of energy and having some pain. I keep pushing it away as there is nothing to do until it’s out. Nothing much eases it and sleep has been tricky. Even when I get a long stretch, I am tossing and turning a lot. I am going to take some of the oil I bought tonight and see how it works and if it messes with my brain tomorrow. I am committed to what I HAVE to do but am less worried, day by day about getting ahead. I do have offers from other bookkeepers and know I could count on Varghese to help me if I need it to catch up or meet a deadline. MusicFest is coming along well as far as recruits and I don’t have any stage schedules yet to slot crew to so that is not a stress. I have tomorrow night to clean my fish bowl, water my plants, and make up the bed for Mark with the fresh washed bedding, Tuesday is a virtual board meeting, and Wednesday, Roger, my son-in-law, is cooking seafood for me and then I will snuggle with the grands on the couch and watch the 4th Harry Potter (I think that is where Will and I left off at Christmas) before coming home to prep for the morning. Roger is going to drive me to the hospital before work and Rae assures me he gives good hugs and won’t make me cry.
I apologize for the laundry list of my life but if I see it written out it helps not to stress and to see if I am missing anything. Only 4 more sleeps.
I had a decent sleep, got some chores done including unloading the record collection of ones Sean does not want that I plan to use as edging for my garden. Cody stopped by and picked up the parts for my jeep that have arrived and it was a pleasant weather kind of day. I went for a pedicure and clear polish appointment with Ireland who was nice as always. She has a tinge of Cranbrook bias and sometimes I have to redirect her comments about other races but she is so good to me. Afterward I went to pick up Rae-Anne to go to Kimberley for a stroll in the platzl and some lunch. She was talking to Vanessa, her good friend whom I really like and We ended up inviting her and off we went. First stop was lunch at Creme Cheese shop where we enjoyed delicious Paninis and picked out treats to come back and buy. Next stop was at the Talaria Footwear store and we all fit the same pair of red shoes but there were only two pair so Vanessa and I got them and then Rae found black nonslip ones for work on a 40% off sale just down the street. Next stop was the Moody Bee store for chapstick, a wander through The Old Crow Emporium and then to Earth’s Own Naturals (my client) to buy some CBD oil for any pain and sleep management I may need. It was great to see Chloe and Steph and have a chat. After picking up the items we wanted at Creme we popped over to Grist & Mash Brewery (another client) for a flight of tasters each and I got to meet Rozanne and see the owners. It was really such a lovely afternoon. I haven’t had such a stress free wandering day in a long while.
Advertising failRozanne
Came home and got changed to head to the theatre for my last volunteer commitment. As it happens they really didn’t need me for the upstairs bar as people are still not used to the new license that lets them take drinks into the theatre so only sold two glasses of wine. I did pick up the Heron that one of the ladies, Eveline makes. I had arranged to buy it and it is even more beautiful in person.
Got home and poured a bath and watched the rest of Shang-Chi. I enjoyed it as I do all Marvel movies and look forward to more of the characters.
I didn’t buy it but it was fun to see one of the first albums I ever wore out.
I heard my alarm at 7 and rolled over to say Hey google, good morning to hear Good Morning Marnée, it’s 8:53 am! I don’t know where the in between time went but I was so tired and I just got to the office at the same time as my lovely client, Matt. He is such a great guy and I really have come to love he and his wife, Cass and their two girls. We had a good long chat before we each tackled our work days. In the afternoon a newish client came by whom I had trained to do her books for her sole-prop and we got a lot done. It was nice to see the bountiful fruit of my training. The rest of the day really was a mélange of projects and I feel the list getting shorter with little stress. After work I knew I wanted to call my friend Paulette. We go back to our teen days together where we met working at and out of school care. Over all these years it has seemed effortless to be friends, keeping connected with cards and occasional visits. It was important to me that she not hear any news via Facebook. There are many I feel that should not but I can only do what I can do. We had such a great chat and as usual, just hearing her voice cheered me up. After dinner I FaceTimed with Mark and learned that he is planning to come see me next weekend which overwhelmed me as I know I am one of the few people on the planet he would do that for. He and I hold a special place in each other’s lives. I honour and respect that connection. To have a platonic opposite sex great friend is truly a blessing
That song, those words, have never meant more to me. I treasure deeply the relationships I feel I have cultivated and am broken when they end. A person never knows how much they meant to another. Each of us have a completely different take on the connection we have. All that matters is the love that remains, the feelings when you think of someone. I have been blessed to establish relationships all over this planet and some were in the moment, some for a long period of time, some toxic in the end but all brought joy when they were deep and needed and heartfelt. I can only hope that people remember me kindly, whether I leave this planet sooner or later, I wish that they will know that I loved them.
Today was hard as it started with a dentist appointment for a cleaning that kicked in a full panic attack. There are many details but know that I am okay and tomorrow is another day.
Missy uses her cat door now! That is a super amazing part of this day.
Ok, so I didn’t make much money today but I had many special moments. It started with getting up and on the treadmill, steeling myself for a good day. First good thing was a call from the anesthesiologist to check in, ask and answer questions. He was so amazing, I only wish I had written down his name when he told me. He explained what would happen from his end, told me which pills to take and when and removed my fear of the hard time they usually have putting an IV in me by saying that if they had to put it in the crook of my arm, they would move it while I was under. He has also written that I am to be given Ativan when I get there to take away the stress as my throat and vocal chords inflame when under stress. I will be having a tube down my throat put in and removed while under but may have a sore throat after. It is good to know that will be why. I am allowed to have my clear nail polish as well. I am definitely a need to know person and all that information really calmed me.
I made it to work finally and got some email answered before I received a text from my cousin Donna who was in town from Kimberley getting groceries and she stopped at the office for a good visit. I then managed to get a bunch more done before heading to meet Shannon and Teri for lunch. It was a lovely time, learning about each other’s overview of life and talking about good times to come. It is nice to make new friends at this age! The meal at Cancun was delicious and didn’t upset my innards.
I worked on VIMF and CCT stuff for most of the rest of the afternoon. It is important that I support the new person we have asked to take on the Tech Director job and I was able to set him up for training with Pepijn and let him know he needs to become a member. I am grateful to have a great working relationship with him and an ease of communication. I steered him to the office to be sure he confirms everything with our administrator. The other thing I did was write a blog for the April 1st post and sent it off to Ash for review. She liked it and suggested I read it over again tomorrow in case I want to tweak anything before sending it for posting. Good advice, that.
The evening involved showing up at Key City Theatre to bar tend for the Fisher Peak Winter Ale series. It was a lobby show again and I really enjoyed it. I had seen Dave McCann on a program but couldn’t believe my good fortune to see him live. He was accompanied by Ethan Askey and what a show! I bought the CD and had a great chat with him afterwards. I highly recommend this singer-songwriter if you ever get a chance to see him. I hope we can have him at MusicFest some day.
Now it is nearly midnight and as I look back I am so grateful for this lovely day. My hands are a bit tender from using so much hand sanitizer as I had to handle so much cash, the bar was hopping!
I am working hard at making sure no one is afraid of losing their bookkeeper or tax preparer. I know I will overcome this and I just need to maintain my obligations. So far everyone has been very understanding and supportive. I have a laptop set up to work from home, alternative dates have been arranged for payments and I am quickly ticking off the list of must do before the end of April. It has been a couple years of getting everyone paperless and that is a great relief.
Today I woke up to a text from one of the ladies I met at the workshop last Friday and I am having lunch tomorrow with Shannon and Teri. It is honestly so nice to have something fun to look forward to and she suggested Cancun which is a restaurant I drive by often and want to go to!
When I got home and checked my mail there was a most beautiful card from my cousin Debbi with a gorgeous dragonfly which is the tattoo I was going to get on the 31st in memory of her sister, my cousin Kelly. She saw it and thought of me right away. So lovely.
The Board meeting tonight was very productive and I feel useful in advising and assisting whomever takes on the roll as Tech Director. It is a lot off my plate right now and I am grateful to the Boards understanding and support in this transition.
It’s true that the year 2021 was even a day longer than usual. Leap Years are often fun as you get to celebrate your friends who only get a birthday every 4 years. I imagine skipping one along the way was especially sad. Today marks two full years that I have been blogging every day since coming home from the Firm and eventually changing my work life completely. I have more work/life balance than I have had in as long as I can remember. I have never done anything this long, been this committed to an activity. If I keep at it for not much longer it will have outlasted two of my three marriages. I plan to go back and read the blog. So far I have let the spelling mistakes and poor grammar stand. I am afraid if I go read through it I will be too hard on myself. What I will likely actually find is a lot less to judge and much more to love. I will see how much I love and am loved. I have already asked if I can bring my iPad to the hospital and that may b the best time for a review, it will also give me opportunity to process and share while the news is fresh. I am going to try to do a blog in the morning before the surgery and then at the next available time. I don’t think I will miss a day. I suppose this is just a fine reason if I do.
Today was steady and I even was able to take a break with the crew as it was Nikki’s birthday celebration due to her not being here tomorrow on the actual day. The crazy odds of her beer being the one that blew up and made a mess were… Sean created? She doesn’t like cake, seriously, who doesn’t, so we had cheese, crackers and meat. It was a perfect afternoon treat. I ended up working until nearly 7 to get a file done so I can do the related company tomorrow and get ready to send in the year ends. Had a nice call from Jeanne, Rosie’s sister. I haven’t talked to her since her Mom, my Auntie Ollie died so we had a nice catch up and as always she and her sister Donna just want to know what they can do for me. They are gifted with servant hearts and boy do they. I love them and hope to just have a good visit soon. That is all I need.
I came home and made my last Hello Fresh for this period, which was something I found delicious and will be easy to recreate. Then I sat and worked on my puzzle, it is progressing but soon I will have to clear the table and spread out the full width of 45 inches.
Missy waited until I got home and then I showed her how her door worked again. I am determined to only let her in and out that way until she gets the hang of it. We only have just over a week. She’s smart though, we’ll get it.
My phone was buzzing me around 9 and I just had to see who it was. The first text I read was from the lovely Teri who I shared the table with on Friday. She was just checking in how I was feeling. How kind! I will have to make a point to connect with her in the not too distant future. The next was from Rae-Anne asking if I wanted to join her and Sawyer for breakfast at DQ. I nearly said no, because, well, calories. I am so glad I went. She was there with the two youngest and I ordered the Waffles with Strawberries and Soft Serve Ice Cream. I didn’t eat the whole order, but it was so good and only $6 with a coffee! It may be my new treat spot. There is something about breakfast out that gets the day rolling. I stopped at work and messaged Addison to see if he could come help me put the cat door in. I have had it since late last summer after selling the Air Conditioner out of the wall, leaving a big hole. After 1.5 hours of work I met Roger and the boys and Addison with his daughter Chevelle at the house. Rae showed up and after me describing exactly what I want, we did a beer run. The next 3 hours or so accomplished so much! The yard got raked and loaded on a tarp in Roger’s truck, my new BBQ was built by Gene and their student, Aymo, the kayak hanger was properly installed and the cat door is complete from the outside. I do need to properly finish off the inside but for now, it is usable. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for all these things being taken off my list. It had started to snow as they all got going but quickly passed. The sun came out and the kids had fun playing in the park and at the school playground. Some of the lawn furniture even came out and I sat and had a beer with my neighbour before dinner. I do love this time of year. I put Missy’s collar on her with the signal that unlocks the door only for her and got her to go in the door once, she sniffed it and watched it for a while but hasn’t gone out it yet. Fortunately I have 11 days to get her accustomed and no longer have to worry about her if she gets out while someone is here to feed her.
I will paint the perch and ramp when I do the trim on the trailer later in the year. For now I am happy with the end of my counter top we used. Now I am tired from all the fresh air and am enjoying working on my huge puzzle. All in all a great start to Spring. I do love my family and am grateful that I just asked.
Didn’t sleep as long as I hoped after staying up too late last night. Relaxed on the couch catching up on some shows, made a delicious lunch that turned out to be hard on my system. I suspected there was paprika in the spices but it really was soooooo good. After lunch I had a nice long talk with my friend Mary Lynn whom I miss. Salt Spring Island is just too darn far away. I got myself to the office and took care of some more tax returns and data entry on a big file before coming home to change and head to the last Buck’s game of the regular season that I can go to. There is a rescheduled one next Saturday with the Wenatchee team that couldn’t travel back in January. I had already committed to volunteering at Key City Theatre that night so I transferred my ticket to Ashlée. As I suspected, Rob Niedermayer and his family were there again tonight and two of the Grandsons went and asked him for his autograph. He was smiley and nice and personalized them which made this Nana happy. Gene kept offering to go and tell him that his Nana was a big fan but I wouldn’t let him. I already have his and Scott’s autographs on my first jersey and it was enough to have a laugh and quick chat as we were filing out. The Penticton Vees solidly beat us tonight just as we had done to them last night. There were a lot of hard hits, injuries and fighting, including several game misconducts. As we were walking I told him this is how I felt when the Ducks would win in Vancouver, like I was the only one excited. He gave me a huge smile and a laugh. I’ll take that.
Called my mom when I got home to check in and she told me she is coming up. I honestly hadn’t really wanted her to come as she is nearly 81 now and I don’t want to worry about her driving, nor will I have time or energy to care for her. She did say she will stay in Kimberley with her brother and I know she is fretting and needs to be here, so I am putting all thoughts in the box and letting it ride for now. Had a great download with my cousin Rosie and that was good as she just understands.
I feel good and healthy in spite of much although I have a headache tonight which is unusual. I guess i will take a pill and get some rest, lots to do in this next week and a half.
I was up early, working the treadmill and readying to go to the Women’s Wellness Workshop put on by the Cranbrook Chamber of Commerce. I am grateful I said yes when offered a ticket by a client. The nervous energy was there until I arrived and found myself assigned to a table and found a seat beside a young lady who had done the makeup for Ash’s wedding. Emily and I got to chatting right away and I was able to suggest she rent the Studio for an event she is tasked to put on for a non-profit she works for and she is going to look into sponsoring a show for our next season for the major company she works for! Great networking and awesome to catch up with her. Also at our table were Shannon, Teri and one of the keynote speakers, Karen McAllister. It was lovely to meet them all and the day was full of great speakers, approaching our entrepreneurial enterprises in the same way we would approach our own wellness. The lunch was delicious, I really enjoyed the salmon. As the final hour was well under way, I received a call and felt I should take it so I stepped out. I am glad I did as it was a nurse doing the medical history for my surgery. We had a good long talk and she filled me in on more expectations and got my consent for the surgery and blood products. It was hard to go back in to the event as it really triggered all the fear again, made it real. The ladies were amazing and supportive. I shared my story and there was much love and some hugs. I really was glad I went. From there I headed to the now quiet office and filed and prepped some more tax returns before heading to the hockey game. For the first while I was alone as the family was all at a birthday party but Deanne and Bill showed up to make my night. The games for the next two days are against the Penticton Vees who are first in the league and have Josh Niedermayer playing for them. As Scott and Rob were two of my favourite Anaheim Ducks, it was a game to really enjoy. We kicked their butts! And in the third period I glance over the aisle to see the whole family sitting there, what a perfect end to the evening. I only wish I’d been wearing some duck gear… tomorrow… 🙂
I had another productive day, began filing tax returns to get the list down to manageable and made lists to power through. After I left the office I stopped at the theatre to take pictures of the two camera options for viewing the stage from the monitors, sending them to Keon to source what we still need to connect one. As I left there I saw news that my friend of 30 years or so has died… from Cancer. I saw her when last I was in Vancouver, Dec of 2019 and have been following closely. She was always such a vivacious human being and the beast beat her down. I am grateful she got to meet her Grandson and that her three kids have each other. It doesn’t matter that they are adults, you always need your Mom. The weird thing is I am not having an emotional response to the news. I suspect my remain calm at all costs mentality right now is protecting me. I will go for a walk along the water some day and remember how much she loved the ocean and downtown Vancouver and Vegas and England and everyone she called friend or family. There is a hole shaped like her in the energy tonight. I honour our friendship and am grateful for having known her. There was a time in the 90s and early 2000’s when we would just think of the other and one of us would call. It used to spook us. Life and distance got in the way but I still hold her dear. RIP my Deb
Today was another productive and focused day. I cut out at 2:30 when I got a message that my new glasses were in and I was to pick Emmy up at 3. Unfortunately the left lens has the focal point in the wrong spot and I see double so they have to figure out what to do. From there I stopped at the new Cranbrook Urgent and Primary Care clinic and had a wonderful reception culminating in them taking me on for follow up care and telling me how to have my records transferred to them from the storage company where they have been since December. I will follow up tomorrow with the specialist to have all reports sent to them. It is such a relief!!! All the timing is perfect.
Next I picked up Emmy and we went to Cranbrook Photo to get the Stitch and Grogu Diamond print framed for her and Gwen to hang in their game room. It isn’t cheap but I am happy Danika liked it enough to have. We went to Walmart next where she was told she could pick things for her birthday and I had a $30 amount in my head which is what I had done for Sawyer. We started in the clothes section, through the snacks and ended in toys. When all was rung in she got a shirt, pants, birthday cake Oreos, rainbow goldfish crackers, a Barbie dress, two wee Barbie lego characters and a Ryan mystery toy all for 30.81. When we got to her grandmas to drop her off she opened the toy and it was Locomotive Ryan which was so cool as we had seen a train going by and I was explaining why I loved trains so much and that I used to work on them (in case you don’t know, I was the first female Trainman/Yardman in the Kootenays, back in the late ‘80s). She was so excited she ran in the house to share her excitement.
I did find a great deal for myself. I wanted a new winter coat but was too fat for an extra large so I didn’t bother getting one. There was a clearance rack and the last red one left was an XL and it was the one I wanted marked down to $29!! Even if it is too big next year I can just wear layers easily under it. I am so thrilled by that deal. And am over 26 pounds down now.
When I got home I went for a good walk with my Neighbour and then made one of my Hello Fresh meals of chicken and Dijon sauce. It was so good and low calorie, win-win. The rest of the evening was spent watching my shows and puzzling. This puzzle is really big.
Today was the first really good day I have had since I heard the news. It seems my brain takes a week to process right through something. I used the tool Monica gave me. Every time I got obsessive or anxious I would simple think or even say out loud ‘BOX’ and that was it, I carried on. I met with a client who has Cancer and we had a great talk, he was the first person that I knew first hand understood what that first talk with the Dr meant. He encouraged me to stay positive and talk things out any time I needed to. I got a lot done and stayed in a good mood. After work I met Keon at the theatre and we got the monitors and lobby sound working. The only thing left to leave it all as it was and better is to hook up the camera that projects what is going on on stage to the monitors back stage and in the green room and lobby. We need a proper hub so he is going to investigate and get back to me. The universe really did provide me the perfect person to assist in the completion of the booth and transition out of the position. I am now home relaxing and watching my shows while I play POGO. All in all the best day, given the circumstances!
My day blew up with happy no matter how tired I was when Emmy called out around 6 and I told her to come snuggle with me. She tucked in and then Missy surprised us both by coming for a cuddle and attention. She usually avoids everyone but me. Emmy was so pleased and gentle with her. Emmy finally decided she was hungry and since she was grounded from TV and other tech, up we got. I admit, normally I would put on Netflix to keep her happy for a little more sleep. We got up and had breakfast and then she put on a fairy fashion show for me and that I had to video it in spite of the sound of my Roomba interrupting. After that we played Wii games until it was time for her mom to pick her up and once again she mostly beat me 😉 I think that mostly happened because she was in front of the sensor, but it made her so happy, I don’t care. Danika picked her up just before 9 for her gymnastics camp and I got myself ready for work. The funniest moment was when she pointed out I must have collected my glasses travelling when I was young because old people don’t travel like that.
Little part Ukrainian princess
I got a fair amount done, although a lot of it was volunteer again. At least it is getting things off my plate. Much of the middle of my day was a big dip in my mood and higher in stress than I would have liked. I was very grateful when my friend Monika, a trained therapist stopped in with 15 free minutes to give me a skill to deal with the obsessive thinking. She taught me about visualizing a box to put thoughts away in until I had a moment to take them out and deal with them, not to suppress, but to delay for the moment. I am so thankful for her. I worked a lot on getting my volunteer commitments out of the way so I can blast through personal tax returns and not feel burdened or that I am letting anyone down in April.
After work I came home to find Gene had been here raking my yard and forgot a lunch on my step when he had to run for the bus. At first I was… WTF?
I started to work on my puzzle and realized I did not have the mindset for it and Rae had recommended The Adam Project. I poured a bath and dumped in a bunch of lavender, melatonin Epsom Salts that Rae gave me for Christmas. It is weird that I was able to rest in a bath for 3 hours this past weekend but after half an hour I was ready to get out. Only 35 minutes into the show, I was not totally invested but once I got dressed and set up in the living room and found out Mark was also watching it and Rae had watched it for the second time, I gave in and just enjoyed it. I really did enjoy it, Mark Ruffalo is one of my favourite, never mind, Ryan Reynolds and Jennifer Garner. The young Adam is also an actor to watch for. I did figure out that my jam for escape and relaxation is those kinds of sci-if non-horror movies. Pure escapism with a dose of hotness 😉
I received the results of my Ultrasound tonight and it has grown a centimeter although there is no talk of the big C. I am going to take this as erring on the side of caution. I will take my fear out of the box and revisit it, give it a pet and set it aside temporarily.
It was funny when we signed into Wii to see the original family that Jake and I signed in with back in the 20 zeros on Salt Spring Island
You all would probably laugh at me right now dancing my way to bed singing put it away in the box box put it away in the box
I got outside and pulled my Triumph Speedmaster out of it’s cover for the winter. She started on the first spin and purred. I only rode it out to the front so that I didn’t get it in my head to go for a ride. Today is the day she goes to her new home. I traded her for the restoration mechanical work on my 1946 Willys CJ2A. I shall not spend any time second guessing that decision. At least I know she is well appreciated. It took me a while to find all the bits and pieces that go with her and will likely find more. I had Danika and the girls over for dinner and made pasta sauce from scratch. While I was cooking, Sawyer showed up with Rae and a lovely rose plant and whole food to get by. He knows I have something that grew in me that wasn’t supposed to and have to go get it out. When they arrived, Emmy picked the pasta we would use and it was good on the no yolk noodles. After a nice visit with interruptions for picking up the bike, Danika left Emmy overnight and will pick her up before gymnastics camp in the morning. It is nice that she is allowed to stay up later now and we had a fabulous time. She had a bath while I tidied up dinner and then happily sat in the ‘salon chair’ without a whimper as I French braided her hair and then she did mine. We then played a little Wii Mario Olympic 2012 soccer and were both horrible at it. The computer kept beating us hands down. Next we switched to Wii Fit Boxing and she literally kicked my butt. I think I knocked her down once and she got several TKOs on me. We built her her own Mii as well and just laughed so much. It was exactly what I needed. I plan to take her birthday shopping for a little something on Wednesday as her real present is I am framing the diamond point picture of Stitch and Grogu now that I know she likes it and Danika said it will be perfect in their games room. I won’t be able to celebrate her on April 5th possibly so want to now. Gene called after Emmy was down for the night and offered to come rake my yard tomorrow which is a huge chore that I appreciate he does for me. I do have amazing grandchildren, just 5 blessings
triumphgal 