11-10-22 If
When the brainstorms try to blind me from the truth that I am loved, on the right path, and in the right space, I loudly speak into the space: RISE ABOVE, or sometime OvERcoME! I try to claim the mental health and solid place I need. It sounds almost religious and in a way it is as I am beating back my demons. I am restoring my own soul to a peaceful place, one where I belong.
Sometimes the words of a poem I was enthralled by in my youth stream loudly, reminding me of all I strive to be:
Rudyard Kipling – 1865-1936
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run—
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
I know, that last line is a kicker but I always felt I was my father’s oldest son anyway so I guess it never really bothered me.
Looking forward to trying these. Dinner was delicious and another day is done.
I did do a kind thing this morning to try to move the emotions along. I just wanted to thank the Principal who helped our Will and I was grateful as I got to meet her and we had a good teary hug of gratitude that all turned out as well as it did.
triumphgal 