11-25-22 Self pity day
I struggled with sleep last night, tossing and turning from 4 on until I finally just got up and headed to the office. I had a HUGE file to get finished today and had many other momentary interruptions. I did manage to break the back of it and send off questions to the client before my day was done, so that was a relief. I admit to succumbing to feeling sorry for myself and getting more and more drawn into the depths of sadness. Two of the women in the office were especially kind and let me vent. Just when I thought I was going to be done and leave before enjoying the open house to celebrate the new Makerspace, Danika and Emmy arrived with my veggies I’d ordered as a fund raiser and there were so many big hugs that it was impossible to be sad any longer. Emmy has lost her first tooth and has two more loose. She is just adorable. I hung around after they left and had great conversations, a couple beverages and a restoration of my good mood. I reached out to Rae-Anne and picked her up to go to ladies night at Morchella Market. We showed up just in time to avoid line-ups and thoroughly enjoyed our Espresso Martinis which were included in our $10 entry fee. I was the first one to sign up for a 15 minute session with the tuning fork lady. I know there was a more official name to what she does but I forget. I was skeptical but open to the process and was pleasantly surprised by the experience. The very first time she applied them to my left hand and right foot it felt like a pinball of energy up my spine and across my upper back which is where my stress gets carried. I breathed into it and all of the next ones radiated across my hips which is where the pain has been radiating in my sleep. I can only discern that the point of most resistance is what is touched. It really was remarkable and I look forward to seeing if it helps me sleep tonight. We shopped and laughed and had a good time before continuing a great visit at Rae’s house before I headed home. It was good to see all the boys and was stunning to see that Lukas is also taller than I am now!
The definition of depression for me is sinking into a feeling that I am not wanted around and that things will not change. Tonight I am reminded that I am in control of that. I am wanted, I am valued and I do have so much love around me. WORD.
triumphgal 