12-13-22 Anxiety Overload
I was having a very strange dream which culminated in waking up at 5:50 am in the throws of a very strong anxiety attack. I could barely breathe in as my muscles were so tight, felt like throwing up and couldn’t stop pacing and sobbing. I posted Good Morning on Facebook hoping to find someone up to talk to me and then opened Messenger to see Rosie’s green light on. I messaged her, ‘You up?’ And she responded right away as she is an hour before me and knew something was up. She FaceTimed me for an hour until I was even able to joke about the message as that is the first time I have done that and it wasn’t even naughty. I now know clearly that it was stress induced due to my struggle to quit doing the books for a society I am involved with. I didn’t want to leave them in the lurch and had made a commitment to the end of June but they changed the parameters of the job and I was no longer able to keep pushing aside good paying work to do it. The upside of my Fb post was all the glorious messages throughout the day from all over the world, in many different time zones and even on different days. I was reminded that I must listen to the many who love me and let go the few who do not. I was especially uplifted by another friend closely tied to the organization who gave weight to my feelings and choices, and by an employee of one of the companies I do books for who I always enjoy chatting with. She gave me a Christmas gift that helped my heart soar. I would not normally share so many compliments but it highlights how sharing your thoughts about someone can really affect change. Near the end of my day I heard from a friend I knew years ago on Salt Spring Island who now lives in England and she also had so many encouraging words that I almost feel bad telling her I was going to get Sushi which she has missed for the last 10 years. Reminder folks, listen to the positive and believe it, Marie Kondo your life, retain that what, and those who, bring you joy.
I did the final walk through of the project at The Studio/Stage Door and was so pleased with Colin who went above and beyond, even getting back on a ladder to wipe the sills and frames way above the stairwell and changed a dead bulb for us. Such great service and all with a great big smile (and a cute bum, lol)
This morning started with a cutie pic showing up of Emmy and a delicious breakfast courtesy of my advent.
After saying see you on Thursday to Natalia, I shut everything down and headed to Sakura Sushi for takeout. I came home and had delicious food, a Peach Crown and a relax and am now ready to hop in a tub and try out the Bath Caviar I received the other day. Bed can’t come soon enough.
triumphgal 