Not the best sleep again last night, likely because today would be the last day of the month and I would need to ensure I didn’t miss any filings. It is funny how I have spreadsheets and lists, software that reminds me and yet I still have fear after all these years. A lot of the stress comes from the items that are not on the list, and the fact that I haven’t done groceries for fresh fruit, have skipped my Hello Fresh and know my system is suffering. Rae called me at one point to bemoan the fact that she had not only lost the lid to one of my special glass dishes at Christmas but now had managed to drop my queen sized inflatable mattress after it was left out in the cold and it broke. She wanted to just give me money and never borrow anything again. Of course, my philosophy is don’t lend something, including money, unless you are willing to not get it back. That did not come across in my gut or my response as I was in the middle of a tough payroll and I had wanted to sell the mattress to get the money to buy one that would fit the back of my car perfectly. I had to get up and go for a walk, clear my head and then call her back to explain. She, being the awesome human she is, immediately found the perfect fit for my car, at a great price and ordered it for me. I really do look forward to getting it! Win, win. Too bad it caused us both stress in the moment. Honestly, today was a day that left me thinking I would like to win the lottery after all and just let all the chips fall. I care too much about what I do, which makes me good at it, but also has me on a constant treadmill on a steep incline. January is the worst month of all the months and I am enjoying a lovely Islay scotch after puzzling for a bit and will tuck in for a hopefully good sleep before tackling February, the next most complicated month. Once the T4s are all out of the way, I will be able to breathe again.
I did stop at the Guedes house for dinner which was delicious and then stocked up on groceries before coming home. I shall eat much better this week, which will be even more important as I go into Dry February!
I worked my tush off today and managed to get everyone filed in time. It is a huge relief and I just want to sleep all day tomorrow but that isn’t an option. I switched to Jetpack from WordPress and it seems there is an issue with subscribers as two people reached out to see if I am ok as they hadn’t gotten notices and was I still writing. I am sooooo grateful to this safety net of friends. Not only did I discover the system had changed but much more importantly, my wellbeing is in good hands.
I had a very sad update about my dear friend, Thom. He has been moved to palliative care today and won’t be with us long as he has very aggressive brain tumors. He has been a good friend and I will miss him when he’s gone. Actually, I miss him already.
I launched my event today and that was a positive moment. Can’t wait for Wednesday when the tickets go on sale!!
My neighbour and I went to the matinee of The Whale today. It is a stunning portrayal of so many deep subjects. I found myself completely engrossed in the intensely honest performances of a very tough subject. We are a result of the trauma that occurs in our lives. It touched me deeply and made me revisit some places I avoid. The damage caused by many organized religions in the name of God, the breakdown of relationships, the coping mechanisms we turn to.. the pain of parents divorcing, the strength of true bonds.. all heart wrenchingly touched on. I highly recommend this movie.
After a short mall shop, we returned home where I finished my laundry and began a new puzzle that Rae had given me.
It was then time to head to Key City to volunteer for my old friend Barb Phillip’s show Lost Marbles: Diary of a Breakdown. We knew each other at a very dramatic time of our lives in the early 90’s when we were both seekers at a Born Again Christian church. Our last children were born the same year and I did not remember the Psychosis, the mental break she suffered as I was dealing with my own struggles with depression and bullying in the name of God. Listening to her tonight touched my heart. She gives voice to the silence, the shame of mental illness. I am so glad I was there tonight, and am proud of us both for who we are and where we are in our lives now. I envy that she has had her husband Kevin by her side over 36 years now, an ever present strength for her.
I feel the need to feel the feels, to allow myself to know that the things that were stirred up today are well earned, will once again be put back in the box of memories and that they made me strong and caring. The sun will rise and fall again tomorrow. I will go on.
Before I went to bed last night I put my weighted throw between my top sheet and comforter. I didn’t even need to read before falling into a good sleep and only woke once around 3:45 before waking naturally around 8:15. It was just what I needed. Missy even stayed sleeping at my feet so I must not have tossed and turned.
The morning broke clear skied and beautiful and there had only been another inch or so of snow which was also lightweight compared to the day before. I showered, drank coffee and then puzzled while we had our ABC Zoom call. I listened for a while and then decided to get outside and shovel, especially the accumulation on my sheds and trees. The plow driver kindly took away the berm I created whilst shoveling last night.
I came back in and puzzled again before it was time to head to Key City Theatre where I was an usher for the Ideas Bobert kids show. It was sweet to hear all the kids enjoying themselves. My favourite part was when she called up 3 kids to form a band. They were so on he beat it was amazing.
I admit, I came home and puzzled again until it was time to go to the hockey game. Tracey and I laughed and caught up during a very tight game. The Bucks were playing the Penticton Vees. The Vees far outshot us but Airy, our goalie kept it down to only one goal in, which unfortunately tied it up. It went in to 3 on 3 OT and them a shootout that went 5 players deep before they scored their second goal and won. It was fun and exciting. There are a large group of early 20 something’s the sit in our section including my salon gal, Ireland. Tonight they were in our row and the one below so for the first time someone was sitting beside me. She was at the far end of the row below so I texted her to say I was one of the posse tonight. She replied that there would be an initiation and that it would involve drinking a King can of Bud Light. I replied, challenge accepted and we had a good laugh. It wasn’t until after the game that I found out Ashlée had been sitting up behind us. Weird she didn’t let me know at the time. I commented at one point that the game was all action but no scoring… just like my sex life. We had a good laugh but it was also sad… haha
I came home and finally finished the puzzle. There are three pieces missing sadly. I suspect the cat walking on it over the last 12 months kicked some pieces off that I didn’t know about and they were swept up by the Roomba. The photo has a AA battery for size perspective. It took a long time with the summer hiatus but I did enjoy doing it. I think I will glue it together and make a mat.
I slept a bit more last night, seems the reading before sleep is helping. I was a reader my whole life and am not sure when that faded away. I need to get the proper reading glasses again though as the progressives are awkward to get the right angle. When I got up and on the treadmill, it wasn’t snowing but by the time I went to leave for work I had to clear a light dusting off my car. By the time I left work to go volunteer at Key City, there was a good foot of snow. I got it all cleared off and waited to get the burning and tingling feeling gone from my toes as I didn’t wear the right boots. Sadly only 58 people came out to the show tonight. It was a solo performance artist and I feel bad for them as they have to give the same high energy, no matter how many it is for. I was going to go to the hockey game after but knew I had a lot of shoveling to do so when I heard two young men speaking a foreign language walking past, I offered them my tickets. They were very happy and I was glad they weren’t going to go to waste. On the way home I was detoured around many flashing lights and the power was out all the way to my street. Fortunately our power was still on. I parked on the street and for the next hour I cleared snow. It was too much to do all three spots as it was wet and heavy, very unusual for Cranbrook. I did a great deal though. The only problem, besides all the hard work, was I had Chantilly Lace running through my head like an earworm. It’s not even from my generation!!! The dinner of choice after all that was McClelland’s scotch and Pogos. Puzzle and That 90’s Show completed the evening.
I read the book I got for Christmas before I went to bed last night, and it seems like no blue screens or noise for an hour helped me to sleep better. Ironically, I usually fall asleep with the TV timer on and set to Big Bang Theory. The only problem with it is that it is about two inches thick and hardcover.
I took care of volunteer things at the office before heading for a two hour lunch shift at Arby’s. It was nice to work with both Rae-Anne and Ashlée. It was slow so the last half hour I watched training videos and received certifications. We have been too busy to do it sooner but I have done well enough to qualify. I will miss doing this as it strangely satisfies.
Back at the office I got another file completed and feel like I shouldn’t need to work this weekend so I answered the call for two short volunteer stints at Key City tomorrow night and Saturday afternoon. They have been very supportive of my event coming up and it feels good to give back. As of today the contract is signed, the event insurance is purchased and all is ready for the Monday launch! I am so excited that I have decided to share the digital media a few days early on here. Hopefully this is just the beginning of building up ‘a jake’s mom production’ business. I received a call from my friend Doug today to discuss MusicFest stuff and we had a good chat about all things production. I am so excited he is coming to Cranbrook! I told him the show was three days before my 60th and he surprised me by thinking I was much younger than him, not the same age. That was sweet.
Once I got home I just watched Saturday Night Live and puzzled. I find that different light conditions make it easier to do. I still worry that some pieces are missing. If they are all there, I have intention to glue it together and then I may varnish it and turn it into a floor mat. It would be awesome in front of the kitchen sink.
I am once again on the edge of a cold, feeling that itch in the back of my ears and nasal drip. Today, a day time cold pill helped. I think I will proactively take a night time one and get some sleep which should kick it. Sweet dreams, or have a great day, y’all.
I have to remind myself constantly that I am grateful for all the things that I accomplish today because I am so tired that zombie comes to mind. I had a terrible terrible sleep last night. I finally just ended up getting up puzzling for a bit before getting ready to head to the office. My client dropped off his two corporate files with some days to spare, which is a bonus. My daughter managed to find people to cover all the shifts and mine except for tomorrow over lunch which I said I want to do because she will be working and I don’t know how much longer we will get to work together. I confirmed all the details for my event launch on Monday. Now I just cross my fingers that it sells out, so nothing comes out of pocket for me. I want to be more present for the people in my life that need it right now, but I appreciate that they know how busy I am. I am perfectly obsessed with finishing my puzzle and hope my cat hasn’t fed any pieces to the Roomba that I didn’t notice.
This morning started out great as I watched That 90s Show while I was on the treadmill. I enjoyed all the cameos but my favourite moment was seeing ‘Fez’ on the car I had 20 years later. The show is just good fun.
I got to the office and buckled down to answer all my email, take care of some volunteer work and then tackle a tough payroll. I completed it and then heard from the owner that he had not entered all the hours. I had to recall it and start again. Fortunately I had done all the pre work so it only took another half hour. It was frustrating though as I had much else to do. The rest of the day went as planned, work wise. The next sad news was about the event I was supposed to host and emcee tomorrow night. It turns out the band that was to come from out of town had a member test positive with Covid and the decision had to be made to postpone the event. There were many email flying back and forth between Board members but it was finally agreed to try to reschedule rather than give the event goers less than they deserve. I did work on creating an event on Facebook for my show which will go live next Monday. I am getting excited about announcing it!
Finally got home an made my last Hello Fresh of the week as I skipped this next week. It was so good I forgot to take a pretty picture but have one of the lunch for tomorrow.
I played on my iPad as I watched my shows and am going to puzzle a bit before going to bed. I have to decide if I have the energy left to cover some upcoming shifts at Arby’s tomorrow and Saturday. Friday and Saturday are both Hockey game nights, and I work Thursday and Sunday lunch shifts. It will all depend how much I get done the next couple days. I am frustrated by two clients not bringing me their info yet… should this poor planning be my emergency or stress, sigh.
This morning I was happy to see that my app reported that my average beats per minute has trended lower for the last 22 days. This is added progress and benefit of my weight loss.
My day was busy but in a positive way and I enjoyed the clients I assisted on the phone. At 4 I had a nail appointment which was very needed as only today I had started to miss key due to them being too long. Minh did an awesome job as always
From there I met Rae-Anne at Firehall to have a meal before meeting with the owners to discuss the proper way to track controlled tips in payroll. I really appreciate when owners reach out to do the legislated thing and appreciate the system I have come up with for that. We had a great visit and the food and wine was devine. Additionally they treated us to the steak laden nachos!
I tried to sleep in after a pretty restless night but was up and puzzling early. I made Tikka Masala and a mildly spiced curried chicken and rice dish to bring to the kids. They picked up my mom on their way home from church and we all had a nice meal and visit after taking family pictures together. Unfortunately I am not sure what Jonas was focused on as they are not great but we captured the moment of us all being together, all my kids, and grandkids in one shot.
I dropped mom at home and went to the office to send in all the media I have to key city so they will have it for the morning to let me know if any changes are needed. Answered a few client email and then headed back to drive Jake to the airport. It was a beautiful day and I envied his flight. They did tell him the flight was overweight so his suitcase wasn’t going to make it but it did after all. I enjoyed my evening watching Season 2 of Succession and puzzling. Likely going to turn in early as there is much to accomplish this week and I need a well rested brain.
Got my chores done and headed to see Ireland at New Energy Wellness for underarm and brow waxing. I always enjoy visiting with her. Once that was done, I headed to see Mom. I gathered all the info and brought her to Shaw in the mall to put me on her account so I can access and get her the best deal. She came with me to et cat food and then we went back to her apartment to call the Shaw people as the in store people are only allowed to do so much. I managed to get her a good deal on her cable and internet bundle as she really wanted her PVR connected. Only basic cable is included and we couldn’t just have her pay extra and hook up her PVR. As it happens, that was a good thing as I was able to get her over $400 credit for the errors made on the file when she moved. She is very happy and was even happier when I set it up to all work from one remote that she is familiar with. We shared a nice bottle that Kym and Greg had given her for Christmas. It was really good, smooth and tasty. Around 4 I went and picked up Jake and Emmy for a little visit at moms before we all headed to Fenwick and Baker for dinner. It was very good and Ashlée was able to join us as well. It is noisy in there though, it is so open with such tall ceilings. Mike was very generous and gave me a coupon for meals and non-alcoholic drinks for the musicians when they come in April. It is a perfect partnership as they will be staying in gorgeous rooms upstairs courtesy of The Baker Hotel. Tanner sent me the proof of the media, and with only a few small changes to make, I think it is perfect! I came home and puzzled some more as I would say it is now 3/4 done. Less than one regular sized puzzle to go, lol. Not sure I want to do a 3000 piece one again although it has been relaxing for my brain.
Got a fraught sleep last night and didn’t like my alarm this morning. Dragged myself into the shower and off to the office to get work done before heading to pick up Jake at the airport at 10:39. It was so good to see him. I dropped him at the Guedes house and headed back to the office to plow through a lot of work for the rest of the day. I did take the time to talk to my client friend and further debrief yesterday’s uncomfortable news. I needed to check in so I could let it go and I was reassured that they are happy with me and don’t want to change anything. That was a relief. After work I headed to the kids to enjoy ‘second Christmas’ taco dinner with Jake and Emmy and the rest of the bunch. We all enjoyed our gift exchange and had a nice meal before we scattered in different directions. I picked up Steph and we headed to poker night at Landon’s. I actually won a few good pots and stayed in pretty long. I was first out but many followed soon after. I do enjoy the game and the company and am glad I was invited to the league.
I was super tired this morning but got myself off to the office early so I could get things done before my QBO training session at 11:15. It was a good session that my friend Julie joined in on and part way through Sean cam and told me he and the ladies were walking to Max’s for lunch. I gave him money and he brought me back a sandwich, thank goodness. After the session I buckled down and was visited by a client/friend who let me know that their ‘accountant’ says she has issues with me, that we butt heads. I found it amusing, at first, and I am not the type to run her down when I recommended them to her. I ended the conversation feeling ok and then I got angry at the intense unprofessionalism of the situation. It will take me a bit to compartmentalize that one. I shall not be recommending anyone else to her. It isn’t the first back stab I am aware of, but I wanted to think the best. Once I got refocused, I worked until 9:30 getting a yearend nearly done. It was then time to get home and message my friend in the hospital to find out they are getting out tomorrow, off work for a month. I worry about them being home alone but they have promised to message regularly and I am allowed to FaceTime as I need to.
The morning did have it’s simple pleasures as I decided I needed a jacket somewhere between my parka and a vest. I chose to try on my jacket that I bought when I was at Machu Picchu in 2013 which was the last time I was truly in shape. I was still a chunky one but not a chubby one back then. There is a difference, lol. The jacket fit comfortably and there was $10 in the pocket, win win! Apparently both my mirrors need cleaning but I wanted to capture the happy moment.
To care about, hear about, be there for those I love. Today came with the news that someone I care deeply about is ill with a rare disease. They did not want to tell me as they know I am busy but I am never that busy. It is their personal story to tell so I will not go into details here but they now know I am here for them and they will keep me in the loop.
Today was full but manageable. I have received more responses to the VIMF crew invite and supplied more information to Tanner for the event media. I met with the President of FPPAS and worked on the budget, and grant application information so that was good to get done. I reapplied for my Nexus card which I foolishly let expire in 2021 when it was tucked away with my passport. I thought they both expired next year. All that and my paid work!
Came home and made another delicious dinner. I am emotionally bagged and hope to go to sleep early.
Should stay in the past. Today had many stressors but the weirdest one was finding out that an extended family member posted a video on YouTube that showed his parents and others in black face performing a couple songs back at a reunion in 1991. I could barely process the skeleton in the closet being put centre stage as if it was something to be proud of. Now, to be clear he is a generation above me, so I can only imagine that is the latitude we are ‘supposed’ to give him, and them for that show, but this is 32 years later, it is time to burn that reel, not enjoy and share it. I am embarrassed and annoyed, worried for all the faces that are in it watching, lest it tarnish their reputations and I honestly have been thinking too much about the biases I grew up with. There were everyday jokes that were just so tasteless and bordered on cruel. I can’t erase them from my brain but I can hope to never repeat them. I often wonder though, how it is that I forget the names of people I care about but remember terrible things that were said. I am grateful that somewhere along the way I learned to check in with myself regularly, to see the differences as things that make us interesting, not negative. I can’t explain how I regularly land on the feeling that I am not caring, inclusive or unjudgy enough. I am actually super judgy, but it is more about people that I think should know better and behave better than it ever is about their colour, accent or birthplace.
I am moving on so I don’t beat myself up too much but suffice to say I had to pause when I considered not going to the reunion in August. Instead I took my Mom’s advice and called my cousin who lives near the poster and asked her to talk to him personally about the ramifications and ask him to take the video down.
I had to say no to someone today and it was hard. I wrote a very professional email and signed it ‘Best Regards’, something I only do when I am struggling not to say.. now F off. I need to set a big boundary and not take on more than I can do. I make mistakes when I am overwrought. Even today I made one that did not harm anything but annoyed me. Fortunately I caught and fixed it.
After hours, Tanner stopped by the office and we workshopped what I want for the media for my show. She liked the ideas I have and will have something ready for proofing soon.
My first Hello Fresh box in weeks arrived today and I made a very delicious Cottage Pie.
It will be good to have the leftovers tomorrow as I have another busy day!
I don’t remember the last time I was on my treadmill so I set my alarm for earlier today and walked at a good pace for an hour. I have stopped losing and am ever so slightly gaining again so I needed to get a hold of things and use the tools I have learned. It felt good and I was energized to take on an intense payroll day. I also took time in the day to work on duties for both my music production and VIMF. I am thrilled with the responses to both things. I have 3 gifts in kind as sponsors, and will be ready to launch on time. I also have many positive responses for my crew. There was a need to cover a shift tonight at Arby’s so I rushed out to take it from 5-8. It was slow but I enjoyed the co-workers and the customers and was even able to leave a half hour early. It really does feel like the day went by in a blur and tomorrow morning will be the same, but it was all good.
Meanwhile back at the pad, it seems Missy was concerned who took out her friend. She sat nearby for a while.
I spent the better part of the day doing chores, including putting away my inflatables for the season. I puzzled and watched my shows before getting ready and heading to Key City to meet Maureen for the matinee of Cabaret. It was better than I expected and I found myself emotional at how impressive my friends were on that stage. From the lighting, set and minimalism to the choreography and acting, it was very well done. I am so glad I went. Afterwards we went to the Fenwick and Baker for some food and a visit. It is funny how different her communication style is from mine and how often we have to approach something differently so we understand completely. The food was good and it was nice to have an evening out.
I slept in, puzzled for a bit, did some laundry, showered and put together a gift for my friend Gordon before heading to visit him. We had an over 2 hour visit which was positively lovely. It was good to spend time with him, to hear firsthand his journey through his pancreatic cancer experience. He reminded me that I knew back in August when I saw him that something was wrong but at that time he thought it was just an ulcer and brushed it off. I hope to visit with his wife and son next time as well. Our hug at the end was precious and he looks forward to celebrating my 60th with me in April. Hope reigns.
I went to Home Depot from there, looking for Ice Melt. They had none so next stop was Home Hardware where I picked some up. They had a mug that amused me but I would like the saying on a t-shirt as I don’t need another mug, lol. I have so many faves already.
next stop was Arby’s as I was getting hangry. I met the newest employee and was highly amused by the way my name came out. I wonder if he used to work at Starbucks!
I cashed in my 6th scratch of the same kind which on the original $20 I have now netted 120.00. I did buy one more which I didn’t win on so I am done. It was fine while it lasted
The evening involved bartending for Cabaret at Key City. I worked with someone who caused me irritation for the first time. I have generally enjoyed everyone I’ve been paired with. This woman challenged my peace of mind but it is likely I won’t have to work with her very often and the patrons were happy so that is what matters. I look forward to actually seeing the show tomorrow afternoon.
So today was a mishmash of free and paid work that ate my brain but got a lot more off the list. I had an extremely positive response to my vimf email and started pulling things together to design the media for the Cox & McRae show. In between there was payroll, remittances, EHT, PST and other filings to take care of. I was glad when my google nest alarm went off letting me know it was time to leave for the hockey game.
I picked up Tracey and off we went. The Wenatchee Wild were up from the states and I must say that the woman singing both anthems nailed it!!! She made me want to sing along to the Star Spangled Banner! The game was super tight and mostly boring but finally it was the third period and we were up by one. The Arby’s minute happened which means that if the Bucks score in that minute all attendees are entitled to free curly fries. The problem is that the supplier ran out of curly fries so that would be complicated. ‘Fortunately’, they didn’t score, much to Rae-Anne’s relief. We earned a shut-out when in the last 1.8 seconds we scored, short handed with the goalie pulled. An exciting end at least.
I wrote a message to the Arby’s crew in our app encouraging them to be their best in order to make the sale go smoothly and perhaps keep their jobs. The bottom line is that any customer could be a future boss. It is hard in times of transition and I hope everyone comes out of it well. The listing for the business was posted and that makes it looming, for sure.
I contacted my friend Gordon and made a plan to visit him tomorrow afternoon before I volunteer for Cabaret at Key City. With no alarm set tomorrow, I look forward to all three wonderful things. I may even take down my Christmas inflatable family…
triumphgal 