01-02-23 Bye Bye 40
I weighed in this morning slightly disappointed as it shows I have lost 39 pounds and I wanted it to land on 40. That is absolutely ridiculous as overall in the last 365 days I have lost .1049 pounds per day, .769 per week or 3.33 per month. No small feat. In between there was a surgery that set me back and I will never be over 200 again. I had lost 41 but gained 2 over Christmas. In the same period last year I gained over 5 so I will count that as a win. I look at these numbers and still feel deflated, but I will buckle down as I have a goal to lose 24 more by my 60th birthday in April. That was my goal for 2022, but I gave myself grace and will work on gratitude. I had to go buy some new clothes as I don’t like the feel of things hanging off me, am grateful that my pants fit at my waist again (what an odd feeling) and have confidence and better health. I must stand on that joy
so many things are odd this year, I am trying not to dwell on it too much but… for the first time I can remember, I didn’t put up a tree or decorate inside for Christmas, I sent random cards only while I usually send 50-60 of them, I didn’t do Christmas or New Year texts or messages to all the people I love like I usually do… I am not sure what that is about. I wonder how much of it is the process of letting go. I have ‘peripheral’ people in my life that I miss desperately and can’t wait to hug again and then there are others that I wonder if I am just going through the motions. Maybe I am just as self centered as some think I am and am better alone. I am considering beginning to take trips alone, no expectations, no drama. I don’t think this is depression settling in, I am generally feeling good, but there is a shift happening for sure. The slow internet at the office today was frustrating as I had to write down my time to allow for it, it isn’t the client’s fault. This grinds on me and again makes me consider moving my office home again. So many thoughts, all I know is I will keep sharing here so I keep an eye on my mental health. Focus on the positive, not wallow in the sad little first world issues I have.
I wonder if working to long and hard today didn’t help.
triumphgal 