02-06-23 bumps in the night
It is windy out and there are strange noises. It is funny after so many years have passed that I still miss the movement of the houseboat I grew up in. Whenever I hear the wind, I expect to feel it as well. It sends me down a rabbit hole of memories, good ones and not so good ones, but always ones I am happy to revisit for they are a part of me. I have spent my life believing that everything in it has happened for a reason. I suppose that is a trauma defense in some ways but it has worked for me. The problem as I contemplate nearing my 60th birthday is that I wonder what it has all been for. Besides living a very full, very passionate life, what have I done to make a difference? Have I really changed anyone’s life in a positive way, have I left a legacy? I suppose the best I can hold onto is the legacy of the next generations. I do have 3 adult kids who are making a difference in the world and a brood of grandkids who hold so much promise. I just hope to stick around long enough to see the fruit, to be truly grateful for this life and know the choices I sometimes stumbled into.. were the right ones.
triumphgal 