02-25-23 Remembering Thom
I puttered this morning, trying to clear my head of this drafted cold. There was nothing that was going to stop me from going to Thom’s funeral at 1. I showered and went to get dressed in my ‘all-occasion’ funeral wear when I broke down with overwhelming emotion as I realized the clothing I was going to put on was what I wore when we were in The Tin Woman together. The show opened with the two of us leaving our sons funeral. It was a beautiful show about organ donation and the way different members of a family handle grief. It has especially deep meaning for Thom as he was the recipient of a donor kidney several years before. The woman who had given him a kidney even came to town for the show. All the feels came back of the wonderful bond we made in the fall of 2018 creating that piece. I chose something else to wear, got myself together and went. I walked up the stairs and standing 6 feet away was Thom’s wonderful widow, Eleanor. She looked over and lovingly said, “There’s the other woman” . We hugged and cried together. It has been a joke between the three of us ever since the show. Thom had won Favourite actor and I won Favourite supporting actress for our roles in that. It was touching to see a display commemorative of that time.
The service was truly one of the best funerals I have ever been at. Thom would have loved it. So much time was given to telling funny and loving stories, complete with an open mic. I did get up after it seemed everyone had had opportunity and told the story of the play and how his love was so honest that even strangers saw when he cared for people. One time he and I and Kimberly, who played our daughter in the show went out for a meal at Denny’s and when we were done the server handed him the bill assuming we were an actual family. We sure had a good laugh over that, as did the congregation there today. Following me, Eleanor gave a last message of love to all and cautioned all married people to never take a second for granted, to hug long and kiss firmly on the lips as you never know the moment someone will be gone. It was very touching and I am glad I was there to honour him. He leaves a big hole in our community.
I wore my Santa frames as he was so great reading letters from kids and taking zoom calls during the 2020 Covid Christmas. His twinkle in the eye came naturally.
I gave my hockey tickets away as I needed to be home, resting and trying to get better. The rest of the day involved puzzling, finishing another one and starting a bigger more complicated one. I made a decent meal and have been watching Lisey’s Story to keep my mind occupied. Tomorrow the sun will rise again and life will go on, but for his family, it will not ever be the same. My heart is with Eleanor who lost her love at first sight husband of over 39 years.
triumphgal 