03-03-23 Frickin’ Demons
It is hard to sum up a day when a portion of it was spent beating back the demons and overcoming an anxiety attack. I had my feelings hurt and that instantly, I mean INSTANTLY turned inward. I was caught off guard as I usually can review and not react but I was caught in a tsunami of ugly feelings of negativity about myself to the point that I questioned everything that grounds me. I kept saying out loud that there are people who love me and want to spend time with me as the brainstorm raged inside that no one wants to be around me. I threw out a life line and called Ashlée who answered immediately, listened, asked the right questions to clarify, validated my feelings, understood my response and just listened so I could talk it out and proceed to let it go. We have so many things that keep us apart but she is my go to when I am spiraling. I do love her so.
I was thinking that I was in no frame of mind for anything else but had tickets to see my friends play music tonight and a plan to go with Tracey so I committed to going in spite of how I was feeling. We went to Sushi on The Strip for their addition to Burger Month. It was delicious!! We had a good visit and the lobby show of the CD release for Kickin’ Round the Kootenays by Douglas Francis Mitchell and friends was enjoyable. I am glad I forced myself past the dark wall. I feel a bit beat up but on the other side.
triumphgal 