I had a decent sleep and tried to arrange help to clear out my yard and get ready for summer but it was felt the smoke from the prescribed burns was too strong. So, I made a manicure appointment instead. I went an hour early so I could shop for proper fitting shorts. I seem stuck between the booty and old lady walking shorts this season. I was super unimpressed with the service I did not receive at several stores and finally just picked up a couple cute sundresses on sale and headed for my appointment. I had a lovely visit while having my nails done and made a temporary plan to go on adventures together. He has been in town from Ontario for a year now and finds it hard to make friends. Sounds like some future fun for sure. I wandered down the mall and stopped in at Telus to see about updating my phone. They have a buyback program now which is basically leasing a phone for two years with free upgrades. I now gave an iPhone 14 Pro and will sell my 12 Pro. It unfortunately took 2 hours to make it happen as the new phone had to be updated first. The sales agent was very lovely and we had good talks and laughs. I now know way more about her than I should but when you make a connect, you make a connection. I laughed when I realized all the employees were hanging around me and I went across the aisle to Shoppers and bought some chips to share as I was getting hangry. While I was in the mall I also bought 315 toys for the Fish Pond at Kootenay Children’s Festival for less than $.77 each at Showcase as their deal at the moment was buy 3 of anything in the store and get 1 free. I bought a bunch of mystery fidget toys. We already had a bunch but this will top up the need. Upon leaving the mall, I headed to drop the toys off at Monica and Galens and ended up having a most lovely visit. Their home is exactly what I would love to have with a stunning view of the mountains from the balcony off their bedroom and a cozy private porch off the back. It was so nice to just visit, not talk business etc, but get to know each other better. They have (had) an interesting life and are just super kind loving people. Once I got home I made a good dinner and then settled down to make sure my new phone is set up properly. I do love it’s rich purple colour and my pretty new case and pop socket.
I had a lovely day. First stop was the Talaria shoe store grand opening of their Cranbrook expansion where I was treated to a mimosa and came out with a cookie and new kicks.
Next was off to see Mom and get her Health Portal set up on her phone. We had to call in and get assistance to verify the email and it is all good now. She still has no results from her X-ray on Friday which is disheartening but we had a nice visit.
From there I went to Shoppers to pick up some expensive products to protect my skin as I already got too much sun yesterday while riding around in the jeep. Must protect as I have not always been good at that and want to prevent further damage. The saleswoman was lovely and helpful and sent me home with some divine perks as well.
On the way from there I stopped at OK Tire and they torqued my wheels, cleaned the writing off the sidewalls and even added a shiny spray to them. Great follow up service!
I came home and took apart the canopy so I could wash it. Although it didn’t come out perfect, it’s a huge improvement and will keep the jeep protected. I only had to put it back together twice as I wasn’t paying attention enough in the hot sun. At the peak I saw that it was 27 again. What a big change!
I was looking for my remote and found the note Emmy had written and stuck on her Dad on April Fools Day. Not bad for she hadn’t even turned 6 yet that day.
Kick Me
I showered and dressed nice, jumped in the car and headed to Kimberley. I met Greg and Sandra there at Charcoal restaurant and we had a great visit and a delicious meal. I had the Indian style butter prawns. We all went to Centre 64 to see Jim Byrnes play. It is a lovely intimate setting and he along with Eric Reed (Tiller’s Folly and many more) and Simon Kendall (Doug and the Slugs) thoroughly entertained us all. After the show I went down front and Jim said hey I know you and we had a hug. I have been blessed several times at MusicFest over the years to be his person when he is on site, driving him around in my golf cart, etc. Last year we spent a lot of time together, chatting and it was good to see him play when I had time to enjoy it.
I was struck by the beauty of this piece in the lobby of the theatre. Wish I had looked to see who the artist was to give proper credit.
The only bad part of the day was coming home to surprise the neighbourhood big orange cat in my house eating all Missy’s food…..
I worked my tushka off to make sure all people who replied and supplied were filed today. All my corporate filings got done and my personal… except mine, lol. To be fair there are three more days and I will have mine done. I got done in time to surprise Emmy by picking her up at her old day care in the Willys. We put her booster seat in place and strapped her in after she showed me that she drew a friend and printed her name and was suntanning with her.
We went to the car wash and got the main dirt and grime off the jeep before going to Arby’s to pick up to go food. We decided to take it for a visit with GG. Once there I realized Mom would love a meal from there and I gave her mine. We had such a good visit. I am worried about her though as there have been no results from yesterday’s x-rays nor a Dr visit. I so appreciate nurse Terry who has been advocating for us and communicating with me. Mom is in a lot of pain and can’t weight bear. I feel so bad for her when she was only two weeks out from going home. She is starting to get depressed as well. I will make more of a point to visit her regularly again, now that tax season is over.
French Emmy
I dropped off Emmy and then came home for a shower before heading to The studio/stage door for opening night of The Shoplifters by Morris Panych. I was disappointed to end up with a seat behind a tall sitting person that somewhat messed with my view but I was impressed with the set and the show. The audience went crazy when there was a kiss at one point as it was the director’s husband and best friend, lol.
After the show I stopped at Encore for one beverage to find it full! So great to see it being so successful. James, our janitor at Groundfloor was there and we made plans to play pool and bowl in the future. I said, it’s a date! but not in a creepy way and we had a good laugh.
I was wearing my Lonesome Ace hat today and at one point I took it off and Emmy said, “oh, that’s why you wear it, you are all white under it” Out of the mouths of babes…
I am amazed that it took until April 28th for me to switch my system from heat to cool but boy did I have to when I got home today! I feel like we skipped Spring altogether.
I was sad tonight though, that a woman I considered a friend didn’t even acknowledge that we were in the same room. One doesn’t always know when a friendship ends but the loss is still real.
Or was he misinformed? I was reminded today of something that was drilled into me as a teenager. I would say that I hated a picture of me because I looked fat or unflattering. He would say,”the camera doesn’t lie”. OMG, especially in this era, it certainly does. I don’’t use filters, but I certainly know when the perfect angle works for a selfie. I know when friends use filters to ‘smooth’ the age markings. THE CAMERA LIES! I wish we still lived in an unfiltered world, where people just said, “well, that’s not flattering” and moved on. I look in the mirror these days and see a fat person. I am over 40 pounds less fat than I was, have shrunk out of so many clothes, and yet… I see a person I still don’t want to be. On a good day, I dress, and dance and feel all my power. On a bad day, I want to climb back in to bed and know why no one wants me.
Tonight was a blast at Winter Ale. Jack Spring (16) and Matthew Kumpula (15) opened the night and I was so proud of them for being all they could be. I gave them ‘The Voice’ speech beforehand, encouraging them to make eye contact and connect with the audience and they did it in spades. They have been playing together since they were 10 and are developing a great presence together. I was questioning whether I should be there tonight, but was very glad I was . They opened for Lonesome Ace Stringband who were awesome! And I must say, just really nice guys. I enjoyed my time talking to John Showman, Chris Coole, and Max Malone. Are these not the greatest names for performers?!
It was a perfect day for driving the Willys, warm enough in the morning and at the end of the night. Didn’t even need gloves, although my buffalo plaid ones work perfectly as signal lights.
Mom had to be taken by ambulance for x-rays today. We await the results. sigh.
The morning began with putting on my lovely new Llama earrings and seeing a fresh bloom in my garden.
I hopped in the jeep to go see R-A at Encore and drop off a few things. The pool tables had arrived and the sound system was at the ready. They were busy canning beer. There is a mobile guy that comes round to do it, and it was cool to watch through the brewery window.
While I was there I received a call that Mom had fallen out of bed. I made my way there and found her with her leg up and a huge welt on her shin. She had her leg up and an icepack and seemed in good spirits. She opened her mail and I paid her bills. We had a short visit before I had to get to the office and left word for the nurse to phone me when they changed shifts. It is a shame as she is only a couple weeks away from getting home. I hope this doesn’t set her back.We talked again about the Notary and she seemed to think it wasn’t necessary as she is good now. There is still a gap in understanding that POA is not for now, it is insurance, just in case.
I had a very productive and busy day on many files, down to one big one now and a few personal taxes to file including my own. I am still waiting for info for the others. Natalia, the lovely woman from the Ukraine who did some training with me in the Fall showed up around 4:30 with her daughter Maria. They had wonderful things for my birthday. I can’t even believe how thoughtful they were. Teenaged Maria painted the sunflower picture! And oh boy did I enjoy a piece of that cake after dinner. I was so happy for them to hear that they are going home for a vacation to see her husband. Maria very much misses her dad and it will be hard for them to leave again.
Dinner was healthy (ish) and tasty and the wind has calmed down
There was a letter sticking out of the mailbox when I got home. Seems someone wants to buy my place. I asked my neighbour who is in an old trailer and she said she didn’t get one. I am not interested in selling but it is a bold method. I also suspect he may not know how much it was appraised for…. That’s a lot of cash.
I had a very tossed and turned 4.5 hours in bed before I just got up and sat on the couch drinking coffee and binging Love is Blind. I chose it because I felt if I fell asleep again I wouldn’t care. I did not fall asleep as I was suffering from all the terrible side effects of antibiotics after eating healthy for so long. (I was afraid to fart) I made it to the office early and left almost 12 hours later. It was a full and intense day, as many in April are. It is the life of a bookkeeper, so many demands in such a small space of time. Did the government plan to choose a month with only 30 days? They clearly chose the moment to go on strike (my birthday). I have a lot of loose ends and that is what disturbs my sleep. I have rarely dropped the ball but in my sleep I am defragging the days and processing to the point that I awake in a sweat.
Danika is doing better and will need to stay in Kelowna for outpatient care for two weeks, I am too busy in the day to take the girls even though I want to, my Hello Fresh didn’t arrive today so it was pirogies in the air fryer, and I am super emotionally fragile. BUT! My day started and ended with picking up my mail. This morning I had a beautiful handwritten thank you card. It was not one I necessarily deserved but if my love for the receiver counts, it was in abundance. When I got home, so many hours later, I had a parcel in the box from my Besties. They sent me gorgeous earrings and I can’t wait to wear them tomorrow. They are so thoughtful. I wish to see their faces live sometime soon. I am afraid I usurped our trip to the East coast this summer with my Vegas trip as I have much to deal with financially but I know that when you are soul mate friends, you figure it out. It’s the way I feel about Sonia, that I am meeting Vegas. We really spent little time together but I felt a bond and can’t wait to see her again!
Some days there is the simple pleasure of leaving the office at 8:38 pm and seeing the glow over the mountains and then checking the weather to know it will be Willys weather coming up!!
As I was getting ready this morning an email popped up with my presale link to see U2 in the Sphere at the Venetian in Las Vegas. On a whim, I threw up a post on Facebook asking if anyone wanted to join me. Minutes later I had a response. In 2011, while staying in Shearwater for work in Bella Bella, I met a woman and her son travelling from Australia. Sonia, Matt and I hit it off right away. We have kept in touch through Facebook and Messenger over the years. As it happens, she is speaking at a conference in Reno the week before! The serendipitous moment was that it was midnight there and she was awake because she had heartburn and was scrolling when she saw my post. She audio messaged me and we purchased a fancy ticket and hotel package at the Venetian for the 7th and 8th of October. What a great way to spend Canadian Thanksgiving! AND! She has to be in Montana sometime after that. when she finds out the dates I will decide if I will drive down and we will roadtrip back north since I would drive down to Montana to fly out anyway. I worked my tail off, accomplishing much with a big smile on my face. Early evening she messaged me again after her night was over and asked if I wanted to see a Cirque de Soleil show. I was hesitant to do the big ticket price but then she told me she took care of us see ‘O’ and it was my birthday present!! This is getting to be a lot!
As I was leaving the office I got a call from my daughter that my granddaughter Emmy’s mom had gone into labour at only 34 weeks tomorrow and was flown out to Kelowna. That is scary. I am keeping in touch with her and her Mom as we pray that she can keep that girl in there longer. The baby’s dad is driving there to be with her. I am hoping to squeeze some time to help with Emmy and Gwen. They are also in the middle of closing on the purchase of a house so there is much going on.
Talk about a swing of emotion kind of a day. Pretty normal around here it seems.
The good news is that Mom is moving really well on her own with a walker. She doesn’t have to have anyone follow her around with a wheelchair any more. And dinner was delicious.
I got chores done like recycling, dishes, etc. Roger, Lukas and Addison showed up to to help me move the pergola to the front so I can use it as a carport for the Willys. I have to take it apart and wash the material but for now it is perfect. We all met at Bill and Deanne’s for a BBQ for Ashlée’s birthday. I had a lovely time, there was ice cream cake and fireworks. I came home and watched the current season of Succession.
Atlas
I am still reeling from yesterday. I hate that when I glance out my window as I do several times a day to check the weather, all I see is their house looming in the distance and the fence that I want to be prettier. She still gets in my ear and I hope that soon will pass. She has dampened the love of my space, but I shall overcome it soon I hope.
Today I was actually annoyed that I woke up at 6 when I have been waiting all week to sleep in. I made a coffee and watched the rest of The Mandalorian. I then made a plan to go take my friend for a ride in the jeep. So I showered and had a good lunch.
I was unloading my tires from the Willys intending to go wash it, have a visit with Mom and then go get Gordon when a woman stormed into my yard and commenced berating me for my fence panels that were leaned and braced. She, more than once threatened to turn them into firewood if I hadn’t built my fence by the end of the day. I tried to explain nicely that I couldn’t today but she kept yelling. She said she was tired of looking at my chicken coop (which I don’t have). I was so caught off guard I didn’t even bring myself to tell her not to talk to me like that. I just kept my voice calm and as she turned to leave after repeating her threat, I calmly told her to get over herself. I then proceeded to throw together my fence but as I suspected the tent trailer tongue was in the way and I couldn’t move it. I sat on my porch and cried. I then reached out to a friend outside of the city to see if her son was available to make some money. All my family were busy with other things. She promptly threw the hubby and kids in the truck and came to my rescue. After they left I put the fence together as best as I could with scraps and drywall screws lol. It’s not pretty but it’s up for now.
I wish I wasn’t triggered by anger. I can stand up for others no problem, but towards me… I go blank. And then I become very fragile. The problem is I think I reinforced to her that that is the way to get things done. She’d best not speak to me ever again as I won’t take it twice.
I finished and came in to find myself wanting to just curl up in a ball. Instead, I got changed and went to opening night at Encore. It is my daughter, Ashlée’s 36th birthday and she was there so I wanted to give her a hug. We had fun playing hoops and skeeball and Elk Hunter. I didn’t stay long as I didn’t want to imbibe much while both on antibiotics and driving the Willys. It was a beautiful evening and the new tires and suspension are fabulous. The only bad is that my left arm is aching again due to shoveling and building and playing and driving a strong arm steering vehicle.
Up early after a very long, good sleep and got myself ready to take the Willys to the tire shop. It was softly snowing when I went to leave but quickly passed, although it was cool and she didn’t want to run smooth. Again she causes a scene wherever she goes. I got driven to work and managed to get a great deal of MusicFest stuff done as well as files worked on. When it was ready to pick up Sean dropped me off. They put the new Trail tires on with fresh tubes and all. All for $1200. The difference in the ride is incredible. Together with the new leaf springs, it is night and day. The only thing is I still see oil leaks. I will have to take her to the car wash and use the sprayer to get her totally clean and see where the leak is coming from. The brakes also squeal since I picked her up, sigh. I came back and got a lot done in spite of being very tired again. Two slightly hung over days in a row leaves me feeling very 60.
My dentist called this morning and his office later to discuss the options for my broken off tooth. The starting place is to have an expensive scan that I will bring to the specialist to review best option. I have a feeling it is going to be the expensive implant. I definitely don’t want the bridge. I have a very strong jaw and there is an opinion that it will not last long.
At 5 there was a meeting of key people involved in putting on Kootenay Children’s Festival 2023 on May 12 and 13. I like the people involved and am going to work with Amy to get toys for the Fish Pond and food donated for the volunteer/performer green room. It was productive and the sun was shining when I left. I came home and made a tasty meal and am couch surfing.
Missy seems to think I should redo my puzzle every night.
Today was complicated. I started off way too tired but at my chiro appointment I realized I needed to go to the clinic and deal with my tattoo as it was oozing this morning and too tender to touch. I sat for over an hour at the Urgent Care centre and was prescribed an antibiotic cream and pills. I was honest that I was going to drink tonight and was given permission to start the pills tomorrow. I hope the damage I did wearing a boot on the weekend can be quickly healed.
I got a lot of work done and then came home to pick up Tracey and go to the Founder’s Club night at Encore. I probably didn’t need a second night in a row out but it was so much fun. So much fun that Ash drove me home in my car. Tracey had already walked home earlier as she didn’t want to bowl , I bowled with Roger, Mika and Ryan and it was a lot of fun.
I heard my tires are in and will be taking the Jeep no matter the weather tomorrow.
I woke up to Ashlée’s ring tone and then her lovely self singing happy birthday which was followed by a great chat. She got me motivated to not care that it snowed but to warm up the Willys and head to the office. I love the attention it gets, not going to kid you. I stopped at OK tire to source new radials for it and was impressed with Jakob following up. I committed to new Trail tires which are a crossover for street and off-road, and they should be here by early next week. That will be so much safer and a better ride than the military dried out tires on it at the moment. I will keep the original spare because it looks cool on the tailgate and will work short term in the event it is needed. I did love all the guys coming out of the shop to gush over it.
Once back at the office I got a lot done and was thrilled that my new hanging chair for my yard showed up.
It was a lovely surprise that my office was decorated and that they treated me to Tuxedo cake in the afternoon, one of my favourites.
CIndy took a pic when I arrive this morning.
I took the time to park outside Mom’s room as the rain was beginning and we had a phone visit. I will stop and see her soon for a good hug.
I was ridiculously overwhelmed with all the personal messages and Facebook posts.
At 5 I arrived at Encore for the friends and family soft opening. It was a lot of fun, and I wore the 60 button that Keri got me. There were so many good wishes and they even had Happy Birthday Marnee scrolling across the bowling screens. We ate and visited and bowled and had a great night. This is going to be a great spot for Cranbrook.
I was also spoiled. People know me well and I admit that the gifts I appreciate the most are the ones that speak to who I am.
On the way home I stopped at Esso and there was an RCMP member there filling up. I may have not wanted to risk a breathalyzer, but I asked him if “ at risk of being pulled over when I leave here, do my wipers and horn have to be working to be street legal?” he said it was not an issue as he would never pull over my vehicle. It is too cool and unless I am driving in a way that a pull over is necessary, not to worry. That was a fun moment.
It is my soul sisters birthday today and a funny twist is that I received a card from her and didn’t manage to get my act together to send her one. I love her dearly and miss her from my Salt Spring Island years. I am grateful we carry each other in our hearts.
I am still tired but got to the office and accomplished much today, grateful that I didn’t have to go out in the snow. Yes, that’s right, April snow brings May I must mow.
I spent some time today thinking about being in the last day of my 50’s. I feel like my chiropractor appointment pointed out all the old feels
So long 50s, on to the next decade.
I was grateful to start receiving cards and wishes. The first official FB one was from a woman named Jill who somehow connected over the love of her brother, long deceased. Gord was my serious crush in high school and it was at his funeral when we were 16, I think, that I saw his birthday and realized he was born the same day as I was. It was an instant introduction to my own mortality. I always remember him on my birthday and no matter how old I feel, I must be grateful that I have had this much more life than him. I remember you Gord Miller, rest in sweet peace.
After work I decided that what I wanted was Sushi and a friend to hang with. I messaged Tracey and she was up for the fun. I ordered sushi from Sakura and went to hang at Fenwick & Baker for a couple crown on the rocks while I waited. My server Tawny was superb and I enjoyed our talk, even thanked her Mom for the great job she did when she arrived.
Next stop was the liquor store and then we enjoyed bevies while watching Still Crazy (fabulous) and then NOPE (may be a classic B movie). It was the most lovely evening with a friend and a great way to end the day.
As this is my New Year’s Eve, I must evaluate and plan. I plan to spend more time with people that are in my life for no other reason than plain joy, to spend less time worrying about what anyone outside my precious circle thinks of me, and to spend my time like money, with care and consideration. Happy Birthday to me tomorrow, and thanks to the friends who preemptively spoiled me.
I had so much trouble getting to sleep last night! I did wake up with a smile though. It was such a special evening and I decided I needed to take them up on the offer to join them for breakfast. I went to the office as a white out blizzard was covering the city. It didn’t last long but it sure did ease the decision not to take the jeep.
Spring time in the Kootenays
I prepped my payroll and then drove to meet Doug and Linda at Hot Shots Café where we enjoyed good food and good conversation. I am sad to see them leave as they brought me so much joy. I will see Doug in July though and look forward to it.
The rest of the day was very full and I was winding down after staying up so late and eating at midnight! We had an early board meeting to discuss upcoming events and make plans. I was not in a good mood as I learned that the reason none of the Board members nor other local musicians were at the show last night as they had been invited out to ‘first fire’ at Jamie’s. I do feel completely snubbed and unsupported. It was hard to sit through the meeting. Not one of them even asked how it went. It is hard to feel dedicated to the team when the team tuned its back on me. I am even more grateful to the family, friends and strangers that did come out and that they were treated to a lovely evening. More things to mull and see if I need to weed out or if I am going to only stick out this initial obligation of my term.
I think I am beyond tired now but I did have a salad and am going to tuck in.
This whole day was anticipation of the concert at days end. I was so excited to see my friends arrive here in Cranbrook to play tonight, and I was not disappointed. Keith Larsen and Ethan Askey opened the evening and solidly shared their gifts. Doug Cox and Linda McRae were joined by Sam Hurrie who came down from Riondel to sit in and wow, they blew us all away. It was so much fun to have a group of friends play music in the lovely Key City Lobby which is like a living room event. They were very well received and I was happy with the numbers even if some will come out of my pocket. It was worth it just to see them all. We had some good laughs after I sat on Doug’s knee to make announcements at his mic and then had to explain later that I was his friend for over a decade. They announced it was my birthday coming up and everyone spontaneously burst into song which was just lovely. Afterwards we met at Doug’s room, had some drinks and then ordered pizza and the four of us just had a great visit together. Sam has played with Hendrix and had two of the Beatles watch his shows back in the day. It was a single degree of separation from so many gifted artist sitting with these three, such a blessing for me. I am so glad I took the risk to promote them here and I don’t even really care what the final numbers are, at least I was able to pay them and would do it again in a heartbeat. My only disappointment was that the Fisher Peak crew were not there. I will be mentioning it at tomorrow’s board meeting as even others performing and in the audience noticed their absence.
On my step-mother, Donna’s birthday I was blessed to get the Willys on the road. She had made sure it was mine after Dad died in 2004. I had sent it up to Ashlée when I left Salt Spring Island and for the last 5+ years it has been waiting to be made roadworthy and driven again. Since Fall of 2021 it has been out at my friend’s in Kookanusa getting work done and today was the day to get it back. My friend Diane bought me lunch at Delightful and then drove me out there. We had a nice visit and catch up. Lance and Stacey drove their Razor ahead of me to guide me 29.5 miles and then turned around for home as I continued in to town. It was a wonderful backroad adventure and I was glad to have the support of them along being that it hasn’t been on the road for so long. It handles so much better with the new leaf springs. Even the incredible bumps didn’t jar my spine. I had to go slower because the military tires on it are dried out and at best stiff. I will look into getting radials for it next week. It was so good for my soul to meander through the wilderness, driving my Dad’s jeep on his widow’s birthday. The weather was perfect and the dust was low. The whole family met at Firehall for dinner with Jonas’ family. It was nice to hang out with them and Lukas was thrilled that I drove him in the jeep to his friend’s sleepover. It’s fun to drive it around, people honk and wave. Two little girls with training wheeled bikes were stopped on a corner at a 4 way stop. I asked if they wanted to cross and they looked up to become instantly entranced. They both said how much they loved the jeep and one said she wished her Mom had one.
On my step-mother, Donna’s birthday I was blessed to get the Willys on the road. She had made sure it was mine after Dad died in 2004. I had sent it up to Ashlée when I left Salt Spring Island and for the last 5+ years it has been waiting to be made roadworthy and driven again. Since Fall of 2021 it has been out at my friend’s in Kookanusa getting work done and today was the day to get it back. My friend Diane bought me lunch at Delightful and then drove me out there. We had a nice visit and catch up. Lance and Stacey drove their Razor ahead of me to guide me 29.5 miles and then turned around for home as I continued in to town. It was a wonderful backroad adventure and I was glad to have the support of them along being that it hasn’t been on the road for so long. It handles so much better with the new leaf springs. Even the incredible bumps didn’t jar my spine. I had to go slower because the military tires on it are dried out and at best stiff. I will look into getting radials for it next week. It was so good for my soul to meander through the wilderness, driving my Dad’s jeep on his widow’s birthday. The weather was perfect and the dust was low. The whole family met at Firehall for dinner with Jonas’ family. It was nice to hang out with them and Lukas was thrilled that I drove him in the jeep to his friend’s sleepover. It’s fun to drive it around, people honk and wave. Two little girls with training wheeled bikes were stopped on a corner at a 4 way stop. I asked if they wanted to cross and they looked up to become instantly entranced. They both said how much they loved the jeep and one said she wished her Mom had one.
I thought, that is odd I can hear Rae-Anne calling me in my dream and then realized she was calling me and it was her ring tone breaking through my dream. Just before my alarm was about to go off she put the call out to come help clean at Encore as today was their health inspection. Bill and Deanne and I met everyone there to take sections to clean. I took the stage and the adult bowling shoe sections. We all pulled together and got a lot done. I had a Chiro appointment after and it was very beneficial. He took care of the pain I was having and I was able to go back to the office and get a great deal done. I came home at 5 and made a huge batch of hashbrowns to take for dinner as it is Jonas’s birthday and his parents and sister are here from Germany. He turned 16 and was well celebrated. I had to leave before the cake as it was poker night. For the first time I didn’t have to buy in again and even won enough bounties to come home with an extra fiver in my pocket after playing for 4 hours. There were 4 people left after I went out on a tough hand. I was getting too tired though so it was time to go for it. I got home to find Missy outside waiting for me and the orange cat in the house having left her food bowls cleaned out. I will have to keep the cat door locked now when I am not home. I am sorry for Missy as that will be a change for her. I sure have been enjoying the alcohol free drinks I ordered. They are very tasty and safe for me to drink and drive.
There comes a point in a day, a week, a month, even a year in time when enough is enough. Compartmentalizing your own pain, that of those you love and even that of those you don’t becomes so overwhelming that you can just stop feeling. Life becomes one foot in front of the other, one second at a time, one confused mess of feels.
I did the taxes for my friend who died last September, got a call from someone dear to me in tears from the way another disrespected her, and then sat with Mom as the Dr told her she has Cancer. And that was just today.
I can mourn the loss of my friend, listen and console the loved one, stand beside Mom as we put it aside and await the specialists. What I can’t seem to do at the moment is feel anything but exhausted. And yet I can’t sleep. I want someone to hold me and tell me I am doing the right things, that all will be ok, to remind me I am strong and capable and this too shall pass. I Just want some joy without responsibility.
triumphgal 