Today was a blur of activity with old and new clients, Ed fest meeting and a haircut as well as continuously updating MusicFest volunteers. I also managed to fit in a visit with mom and got my car cleaned out and filled with camping gear. Tomorrow I will pack my clothes and get out of town as soon as I am able. I am honestly, so looking forward to relaxing this weekend, I can’t even express it.
Last night, when I awoke thirsty, I decided to take Missy’s cone off. I was surprised that she didn’t immediately begin licking or scratching at her scar and shaved area. When I woke up, I opened her cat door and let her out. She was so happy to be out there and it was fun to watch her.
Today was super chaotic at the office with me having way too many balls in the air. I was busy helping a client with their audit, working on all things for Summer Sounds and VIMF as well as two different zoom meetings and all the other regular things. I began to get a wee bit of anxiety as the day was burning away fast and I wanted to be at The Key City Theatre Volunteer Party. I felt a wee bit uncomfortable showing up empty handed for the potluck but I didn’t even make it to see my Mom, as promised. It turns out there was more than enough to go around and I was blessed to sit with Denise and Kris and their husbands.There was so much good conversation, delicious food and drink, and fine background music by Dean Smith Trio. We also came home with a nice token gift.
I came home and found myself awkwardly missing my cat curling up beside me, needing me. I am happy she is better, but… I was rather ok that she needed me.
I am still spinning from the show I watched last night and find that I am fighting back the PTSD all day so I have decided to have a special cookie, attempt to mellow out and get a good night’s sleep. Love you all
I got a lot done today, barely made it home in the jeep before the thunder storm and then did some laundry and settle down to watch the last of The Marvelous Mrs. Maizel (it was) and then ‘randomly’ picked ‘Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets’ to watch. I began to get squirmy and then suddenly realized… I attended the same conferences that they did back in the 80s. I attended Bill Gothard’s The Basic Seminar: Institute in Basic Life conference where I learned to be a Good Christian Wife and through the show I learned that Bill went to Wheaton College (described as The Harvard of Fundamentals), the same place that the pastor, whose assistant I was in the 90’s, attended and whose principles were followed. I do believe that, at the time, I learned all the things to lead a perfect life. What I didn’t see was how damaging it was to my mental health, how it lead to my break down and break away from a God lead life. I can’t say I have no faith now, there is a deep spirituality within me. I give credit where it is due, and do not fear the reaper. This show has super triggered me, I need to process IBLP. I think there is still a binder in my house somewhere from back in the day. The principles in themselves are not bad, the structure.. is. I am having an anxiety attack
When my Dad died and we were sitting with his widow, my second step-mother, she said that the term ex-wife was not to be used. She preferred previous wife as it didn’t take away from the relationship they had. That always stuck with me. I refer to Bill as my first husband. For him to refer to me as First Wife takes on a different meaning in an area where there is a large polygamous community.
Saturday I was sitting with Bill and Deanne, two very good friends to me when a man joined us and after chatting for a while about classic cars and shows, Bill said I was his exwife. I laughed and said, I prefer.. former.
Today this rang in my ears when I left the office to take my jeep to Bill’s garage to throw it up on the hoist and find out why my brakes have been behaving badly. We were well into it when I asked if it was safe to step under it to tie up some wires that were hanging. He said yes and I said, “and that was when Bill killed his exwife”. We had a good chuckle. About an hour later while we were working on the electrical, trying to get my horn, and hopefully wipers, working, he managed to give himself a jolt and burn and said, “and that was when Marnée killed her exhusband” I had a good laugh then. We did not manage to get the horn or wipers working but the right front tire no longer jams up and we know that we need to do adjust the left front one as well now. It is 80% better than it was. I promised to bring him some Vancouver Island micro brew beer back with me.
After that I tried to clean the mechanic smell off me and took in the season preview at Key City. It is a shame it wasn’t better attended but there are a few shows that I am looking forward to. I already have tickets to two of them, Finger Eleven and Dogman the Musical.
This morning started with crepes prepared by Gene and Jonas and bacon courteous of Bill. It was a gathering to say goodbye to Jonas who is returning to Germany today. We all will miss him. He is a good one
When my Dad died and we were sitting with his widow, my second step-mother, she said that the term ex-wife was not to be used. She preferred previous wife as it didn’t take away from the relationship they had. That always stuck with me. I refer to Bill as my first husband. For him to refer to me as First Wife takes on a different meaning in an area where there is a large polygamous community.
Saturday I was sitting with Bill and Deanne, two very good friends to me when a man joined us and after chatting for a while about classic cars and shows, Bill said I was his exwife. I laughed and said, I prefer.. former.
Today this rang in my ears when I left the office to take my jeep to Bill’s garage to throw it up on the hoist and find out why my brakes have been behaving badly. We were well into it when I asked if it was safe to step under it to tie up some wires that were hanging. He said yes and I said, “and that was when Bill killed his exwife”. We had a good chuckle. About an hour later while we were working on the electrical, trying to get my horn, and hopefully wipers, working, he managed to give himself a jolt and burn and said, “and that was when Marnée killed her exhusband” I had a good laugh then. We did not manage to get the horn or wipers working but the right front tire no longer jams up and we know that we need to do adjust the left front one as well now. It is 80% better than it was. I promised to bring him some Vancouver Island micro brew beer back with me.
After that I tried to clean the mechanic smell off me and took in the season preview at Key City. It is a shame it wasn’t better attended but there are a few shows that I am looking forward to. I already have tickets to two of them, Finger Eleven and Dogman the Musical.
This morning started with crepes prepared by Gene and Jonas and bacon courteous of Bill. It was a gathering to say goodbye to Jonas who is returning to Germany today. We all will miss him. He is a good one
I got a text from Mom this morning to come and organize her pills. i hung out and read my book over coffee and then I headed to see her. I tidied, took out the garbage and recycling, made her bed and put away her laundry as well. Uncle Lawrence, her brother brought her lunch and we all had a good visit. I was talking about MusicFest and he said he had only been to one concert in his life and it freaked him out so he never went again. IT WAS WOODSTOCK!! How did I wait all these years to know this… well, here’s the story from him. He went with three other RCMP members, bringing with them many flats of Canadian beer. They were offered many things in exchange for that beer. They promised each other they would never speak of it due to their carreers. The other two are dead now, so he feels ok sharing. Seriously, so cool! He enjoyed my stories of the artists of that age that I have met and interacted with. i think it was the best visit that I have had with him since I was a kid.
Next stop was Canadian Tire to pick up furnace filters, and of course I found deals in the clearance section. This included a garbage can for my car which was marked down due to missing hooks but when I opened it at home, it had the hooks taped on the packaging.. Score!
Afterward I was happy to pay $20 for a hand car wash in support of kids in Cranbrook.
The liquor store was next on my shopping list to pick up birthday presents and supplies. I had a great visit with the guy that I know there and he made some solid recommendations. I love the bowler hat gin presentation but haven’t tried it yet. The rum is delicious
I stopped for cat food and then came home and got busy in the yard. I put up another layer of deer fence as they come over the one point of the fence, planted and transplanted my raspberries and set up the new soaker hose.
After that I took a break and the finally hung my chair that I bought myself for my birthday. I love my friends that wondered why I hung my sex chair outside.
Dinner was a delicious chicken satay and rice that I picked up at M&M yesterday. I look forward to lunch tomorrow.
I guess getting so much Fest business done yesterday really took a load off my mind as I slept right through the night and woke up naturally at 7:30 ready to face the day. At first I was not impressed as I had been looking forward to sleeping in but what I really needed was one good uninterrupted night. I got up and had my coffee and read my book for a couple hours and then got out and cleared up all the blown down branches before mowing my lawn. After a quick shower, I headed over to Encore as it was their official grand opening today. Bill, Deanne, Ashlée and three of the grandsons were there and we had a good visit. The arcade games were free so there was a lot of skeeball and basket ball before my friend James showed up and he and Ash and I bowled for an hour. He is really good compared to us but it was fun. I came home and then took my car to get gas as it was nearly out and I had been driving the jeep today. back home to relax outside with a martini before heading to Tim and Shawna’s for a friendly poker game. It was supposed to be the finals of the league but thankfully Shawna messaged me that it was postponed. I guess I had gotten an email but hadn’t checked as I was out. There were 7 of us and it was quite enjoyable. I played for 3.5 hours on my original 20 bucks and loved all the conversations about music, concerts and life experiences we’ve all had. Was nice to have more social time with them. When I left Greg and Galen were going head to head. It had rained a bit out there on the outskirts of town but not at my place. I was happy to find Missy in a cuddly purring mood as she had been quite off today and I was worried about her. She needs to be all better before I head off next weekend camping. Ash agreed to come feed her as Tracey will be away. Thankfully Tracey will feed and visit her while I am at MusicFest. She’s a great neighbour and friend. I promised to bring her a t-shirt again as she loves last year’s.
Today was mostly spent in anticipation of taking Missy to get her stitches out. I left work an hour ahead of her appointment to give myself time to corral her. She wasn’t too hard to wrap in a towel and put in a box but I had to weigh it down with my floor mat to stop her popping her head out. Apparently it went well to clean up her scabs and remove the stitches but it left some open wound which means 5 more days inside and in her cone. I feel bad as I promised her today would be the day. She is annoyed with me ut we shall overcome. Have to ensure she doesn’t get infected or lick at it.
The rest of my day, between paid moments was spent printing up my binders for MusicFest. I received a few email to change shifts and had to be firm that I had done my best to accommodate and this is what was expected. People don’t realize how much I have to Tetris the schedule to make it work. I understand they are ‘just’ volunteers but after all the hours I put in, so am I. It was a touchdown moment to get all the binders ready, two for each stage and know I only have the lock-up ones to complete. This is early for me and I am grateful
I hung out with Tracey on her deck late this evening. She always grounds me well. I look forward to no alarm tomorrow morning, Mic drop.
Some days confuse me. I woke up unable to see out of my right eye. I don’t know why but it must be allergies. I took a prescription antihistamine and had to putter at home until I was safe to drive.
I finally made it to the office and trudged through the day as I was weighed down by the drug. At 2, I had an appointment with the Periodontist to see what the options are for my broken off tooth. It has been a long haul since it happened in April but I am grateful that he found my gums and teeth to be healthy and recommends an implant but it doesn’t have to happen right away. I will see my dentist end of July and get it ground and filled until I am financially ready to invest in pulling the root, and getting an implant. It is strange to me that every time I have a new dentist look in my mouth they can’t help but comment on the bone formation. Apparently I am unusual in that way too. My mouth is very ancient in the formation of bone, made for meat eating, something that is causing my teeth to break as my jaw is so strong. It is weird to think that people who see everything are still surprised. I suspect that the bone formation in my mouth combined with the size of my tonsils at rest are part of what cause my severe sleep apnea.
Back at the office I finished off a file and only am waiting for info on one more for the month which left me time to deal with Fisher Peak items and MusicFest. I have everything almost ready to print for binders. Just awaiting two riders and some group stage plots to make it so. Now if my last few volunteers would just accept their shifts in VolunteerLocal ( an amazing piece of software), all would be good in that part of my world.
I find myself getting excited about going away next weekend and I even have made a plan to stay a night with Mark on my way back. I haven’t seen him in a long while and can’t wait to hug him.
There was fresh snow on the Peak this morning… sigh
It is hard to accept that this rainy cold day that instigates my furnace being on , is the first day of Summer. It is typical weather for Cranbrook though, so I must bear with.
Today was a mixture of paid gigs and so much time spent on MusicFest. Of course, getting the things off my list takes away some of the stress. I actually think that I am finally caught up tonight. I should arrange some zoom meetings once everyone has signed in confirmation of their schedules but I am mostly ready. The bane of my existence for the Fest is having to schedule on shift meals for everyone. It is the most complained about thing every year, lol. I skipped out for a waxing this afternoon and made an appointment for a haircut. It is more challenging to have shorter hair. I have to cut it regularly so it doesn’t weigh down.
I have had all kinds of feels today regarding the need to write a book. I have so many started in my head….
I have been enjoying my gin martinis in the evening, invoking all the “I miss my besties” feels.
Who cares what goes on in my life on the daily… my cat maybe, because even as I start typing it seems that she senses my mood and has run across the room to stare at me. I had a very full day, I was not depressed by my circumstances and I had a wonderful FaceTime with my guy bestie, heard earlier from my UK Bestie… and yet…
I want to understand my connection between stress and seduction. I woke up in the night from a stress nightmare feeling completely aroused, leaving me confused. I realize that that has been the pattern in my life, unrecognized. The two things go hand in hand, stress and pleasure. No wonder I over book my life and continue to create stress. Enough of the deep dive for tonight. I enjoyed my FaceTime with my friend who I am looking forward to seeing after my camping trip on the long weekend. I am grateful he is happy to have me come visit in Kaslo.
My baby toe is still recovering from dropping Mom’s walker on it…
How do you want to retire?
Retirement, a word so full of both dread and hope. I have lived my life so far by grabbing it, for the most part, one day at a time. As I see the years whirl by, the reality of my future stares me in the face. At 60, I know I should have a plan, a clear vision of what I want and what I can accomplish. I do know that I want to travel more, experience more… what I find is that I am just doing what I can, day by day. If I admit my true desires, it would be to find someone financially stable who would love to travel with me. I don’t need them to save me, but to relieve some of the burden of a single life of work and the extra expense of travelling solo. It would also be lovely to have someone to relive the memories with. On the flip side, I work to become independent, to be able to work from anywhere, as I don’t think I will be able to stop any time soon. If I could take my show on the road, I wouldn’t have to fully retire any time soon, either. So, therein lies the hope.
In the meantime, as I did today, I run payroll, file government requirements, and try to keep my clients happy. Throw in a lot of MusicFest scheduling and a volunteer board meeting and I have a full non-retired life. My Mom and my cat keep me hopping and I look forward to escaping at some point.
It is not even 6 pm and I can barely keep my eyes open. The day has included a breakfast gathering of 16 at Dairy Queen for waffles and breakfast sandwiches; a ride home in the jeep for Jonas; a stop to visit Mom and got her properly changed into fresh clothes and to organize her meds; a through cleaning of the George’s old tank for Emmy; watching a few episodes of Black Mirror; delivery of baby gift and fish tank and accessories to Danika at her parents; back to home to cook up some bacon wrapped chicken medallions in the air fryer for tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch, all followed by watching more episodes of Queen Charlotte.
The wind is howling and gusting. It shudders the place and I have secured the pergola over my jeep as best that I can for now although it threatens to fly away. In spite of the weather, Emmy sure enjoyed her grandma’s swimming pool today. She is such a little fish.
My baby toe is well marked from where Mom’s walker fell over on it on Friday. Poor thing.
I went downtown for 10 am to meet Danika and the girls for the Spirit of the Rockies parade but first I met a woman that I arranged to buy a bocce ball set from so that Tracey and I can play in the set up in our park. It was special to get to hang out with Roger, Sawyer, Danika, Emmy, Gwen and Thea. The parade was amazing with mor participants than ever before. I love parades and it was funny when the grands asked how I know so many people in the parade as I was happy to wave at so many friends. It was also serendipitous that the rain stopped in time!
After this I headed to the fairgrounds and wandered the vendors where I picked up a few treats for me and gifts for the baby girl. It was lovely to wander and chat and enjoy the atmosphere. And I can’t wait to wear my new shirt at MusicFest!
The rest of the afternoon was fabulous as well. I helped my friend Monica bottle her wine and then we sat having a marvelous visit on her back porch. I was even late to get to the family BBQ as I was having such a wonderful respite from my life. She is good for my soul. The BBQ for Gene’s 16th was fun and delicious, he loved the new shades I got him
The cake was funny as it was the only one of that size left at DQ that wasn’t for Father’s Day.
After a few people left it was time to celebrate the fathers as Rae and Roger will be heading off tomorrow for their 20th anniversary trip. Bill had often an amazing bottle of Scotch from his daughters but although he offered to share it, Roger and I popped off to the liquor store and picked up a bottle of Jura to share. I toasted to the fathers that were there and the ones that had gone before and we all cheered.
Once I got home I sat on my neighbour’s deck for a beer and a chat. I may regret all the different alcohol choices in the morning but for now I just know that I had a really great day with many people who just fill my tank and that is exactly what I needed!
This morning I called the hospital and found out Mom would be ready to leave by 11 so I went to the office and got some payroll done before going to pick her up. She is moving very well again with a walker. We stopped and I ran into Safeway to pick up her prescriptions before driving through A&W for teen burger combos. Hard to believe two burgers, onion rings and diet root beer came to $31! I don’t know how people eat fast food so often. We brought the food and all her belongings up to the apartment and ate. I then got her settled in, made sure she tried all the new things like her stand up assist recliner, the commode and had her get in and out of bed. I think that was her greatest joy was being back to her own bed after 3 months. I had brought her some basic food items and her cousin and brother are on deck to get her list for her from the shops. It was so good to see her home and her friends are very happy she is back. I hope she has a good sleep tonight and I will check in on her tomorrow. I went back to the office and got more done before heading to Key City Theatre for a meeting of a group of people involved in all kinds of organizations who are planning to put on a special event in the city in September. It was a great meeting and I can’t wait to share details. After that I came home and spent some time with Missy who seems to be healing well and getting more used to being inside. Next it was off to poker night. This was the last official night before the finals next Saturday. I played well and came home having spent only $15, a good fun night all in all. Today is my oldest grandson, Gene’s 16th birthday. because there is a decade between my oldest and youngest children, I now have a 28 year old son and a 16 year old grandson. No wonder I feel old and young in the same breath. I look forward to meeting the bonus granddaughter, Theodora, tomorrow, hanging out for the Spirit of the Rockies parade before celebrating Gene‘ s birthday with a family BBQ
I do not do well when I make mistakes. I made a big mistake on a huge union payroll. It was fixable but caused issues for the employer and the employees. I was not able to let go of my own anger at myself for being so overwhelmed with my life that I let a ball drop. It is my worst fear and I couldn’t let it go. I got the call that mom is getting out tomorrow and I was committed to going to my client’s funeral in Fernie tomorrow afternoon. The call to let my friend’s know I wouldn’t be there to support them and honour Bob was tough. Stacey was amazing as always and just straight up said, Bob is dead, your Mom is alive, she needs you. Can’t get much nicer than that. I was emotional when I got off the phone and still beating myself up about the error. I decided to call and see if I could get a nail appointment as some self care was needed. I was able to get in to see Minh in a couple hours. I was just pulling into the mall lot when my phone rang. It was the owner of the company I had made the mistake for. I couldn’t help breaking down as I once again apologized. He was so kind and forgiving. And we both agreed that we are not just work connected, but friends after all these years. He invited me to come to his wife, Sarah’s 40th birthday camp out for the Canada Day long weekend. It is a couple hours from here and there will be a pig roast and beverages, about 30 people or so and he has rented the entire campground. If I don’t find a serviced site I like, he will bring a generator and set me up. How could I say no?? What a great person to call friend, someone who just accepts me and wants me to be around. That is also the support and response i got from Monica as we had a quick visit in the hallway. She reminded me that this will pass, it is all temporary.
I felt much better after my manicure and went back to office to finish up a bit of work and then get busy doing my MusicFest schedules. It is a lot of work as I am setting up VollunteerLocal software for the first Ike but it promises to be easier next year. I will have to see how it is accepted and used by the crew. I actually have more people than ever but nearly half of them are new to our festival so that makes it more challenging to balance new and old. I finally left the office after 9 to come see how Missy is doing and she was hungry and affectionate. I remembered to bring home the jerry can I was given by an acquaintance who saw my jeep and said he had something in his barn for me. What a great gift!
Missy continues to wake me too early, meowing for comfort and company. She still is wearing her collar so hasn’t been able to worry at her sore but also doesn’t seem like she wants to. She just cries to go outside. At least with the collar it is easier to keep her away from the door when I need to go in or out.
Work was all encompassing but I did manage to take a break to enjoy the BBQ put on by the GroundFloor for a members mingle. I had a burger and enjoyed a good long chat with Andrew, one of the other workers in the space.
I got a lot more done and then headed to meet Galen from Key City Theatre and Jonah, Sven and Chance from JCI to get them onboard for EdFest that is a big fun event being planned for the Saturday after the long weekend in September. It was something I orchestrated, bringing JCI on board and the discussion went very well. I look forward to reporting back to our Board on Monday.
After the meeting, Galen and I joined his wife, Monica and daughter, Zoey for food and more great conversations. It was a perfect date night and they even treated me which was a total surprise.
It is raining out and a lot cooler which keeps me more focused on work and obligations, at least. I am content.
All the pins are out in my yard and bring me joy.
Today’s work was a little frustrating and I am concerned about Mom as I got the notice from the health portal about her hip x-ray but she hadn’t told me she had fallen again, before I saw her on Friday…. She says that she doesn’t remember falling and couldn’t remember why the notary is coming tomorrow when I called to remind her. The problem is I have been working to 7 or 8, coming home to make something to eat and comfort Missy and then it is too late to go see her. Missy is not eating much today which I am keeping an eye on. She just sits wistfully looking out the front window or meows at the door. I need her to eat so she gets her pain meds.
I got home in time to watch Amelia’s (Mia’s) graduation from Capital High School in Olympia Washington. It was live streamed on Facebook which I cast to my TV, and the family here and on Salt Spring Island all watched and chatted together. Mia’s mom is Margot, my son-in-law Roger’s sister and someone who has been a friend for many many years as we worked together at Mouat’s when we both lived on SSI. She sent this message:
Mia earned the gold cords, a big scholarship, and also graduated with her Associates degree from the community college at the same time 😁 🥇 ✨ 🎉
I am so happy that the gift card I sent for Mia’s upcoming adventure at Montana State University arrived today and she will get to open it tonight when she returns home. That was some awesome service from the MSU bookstore, I must say. I was glad I reached out to Mia’s dad, Rob to let me know when it got there.
I think I may just head to bed now, the next two days are very busy and I need to be rested.
I do love the treats blooming in my garden and arriving in the mail. kayak time soon!!
Today was great and that is because, it wasn’t. Aside from finding a point in the day when I said to myself: I hate people. Aside from picking up Subway for the two of us working in one end of the building, and finding it delicious. Aside from staying late to finally file my own taxes and with Three Days to Spare!!! So, it all lands in the median…. Meh
triumphgal 