08-15-23 It’s all in the attitude
I did not like the mood I ended yesterday in. I realize it was a weird form of grief. I am sad for my cousins losing their Dad, my Aunt for the loss of her husband and most especially feeling the sadness that tomorrow is the anniversary of them losing their sister, Kelly, 6 years ago. She was a large light in my life and for all of them, I am sad. I had a complicated relationship with my Uncle and Kelly protected me from it. I know he loved me as family and probably never knew how much his words hurt me. It is a complicated grief. My brain can’t just light on it and move through it.
So, this morning, I got up and put on a pretty dress and high heels and decided to have a different kind of day. I would honour both of them by being me and loving my life. I worked hard on payroll, went to my waxing appointment and then sat myself at Encore Brewing, enjoying delicious food and beverages. Lukas came down and we played some skeeball and basketball as the arcades are free on Tuesdays and then he joined me at my hair appointment where he got a cut before mine. Our friend Karissa had a salon before she had her daughter and then twins. She now has a small clientele three nights a week out of her garage. I didn’t know what I wanted but I knew I didn’t like that my grey is predominantly in the centre of my head. My natural colour is very dark still so she did lowlights, the money piece as she calls it and did a nice pick up trim. It was so nice to hang out and visit while she was at it and the result makes me so happy. Unfortunately as I stepped into her house my pretty shoe came apart, lol. I came home barefooted, but got to enjoy them for the day, especially the confident walk and popped calves the give me 🙂
I decided I am going to go to the Gerow Family reunion in Salmon Arm in a week and a half and am going to take Lukas and Will with me. It is my step-family but have I loved and been loved by them nearly my whole life so I am looking forward to it. It will be fun having the boys along as well.
triumphgal 