10-20-23 I woke to myself
Wake, work, rest. Blah, blah, blah
I mulled on why I am so happy when on the road, no matter where I live or where I am at in my life.
It suddenly occurred to me that in the company of complete strangers I am none other than my own true self, and she is a happy, energy sharing, uplifting human. I don’t have to have my brain working 100 miles an hour, don’t have to try to figure out if I know you, if I should remember who you are, should know the details that prove I was listening and care.
The reality, being stuck in an empath (and concussed) brain makes me let things go as quick as I can often. This makes it complicated to live in a small city. I worry constantly that someone will be offended that I don’t remember them, especially when they greet me with enthusiasm. I am involved in many things and sometimes… it’s just too much. I want to engage, to enjoy, to just be…
and so I go away, and I engage with strangers in an even swap of intellect and energy that fills both of us. So, that is how it is, I have my one person, the one who will remind me who the other is and how I know them, who will hold my memories with me.. or I be straight up and just tell people I am sorry but how do I know you… to often horrible reactions… or I roam and leave memories and gather positive energy wherever I go… THIS, this is what fills my tank. This is why I blog so I can be in the moment, write it down to revisit, and really, just be me.
This is also one of the reasons I left Theatre school as I figured out that to be a success, it was all about networking. Schmoozing, this I can do, deep talk, also, but the in between, this I struggle with.
triumphgal 