11-04-23 You Cannot Gaslight Me!
I awoke to messages from ‘the guy’ and they were going well until I asked a few pertinent questions about his daughter and who looks after her while he is away working. The answers didn’t make sense. We had agreed to finally talk today. I researched where he said he is working, did a deep dive to try to find a sign of him or her online and even searched for obituaries of his wife and parents as he had told me where they had lived and died and how old he was when those things happened. There was zero online. This rang allll the bells. I did ask him about when he was born again and he told me the month and day but not year so I said “what year? Are we the same age?” And there was a very long pause in the conversation before he answered that yes we were both 60 but he didn’t say the year. It was a straightforward simple question. This was just another of the small oddities. There had already been times when I noticed an accent in his writing and others when there was none, as if it was two different people. He professed to be born in the states and moved to Canada when he was 3..
He hadn’t answered a question in a bit and I needed to get to a client’s so I said I was going to jump in the shower as I was getting annoyed waiting. Suddenly my phone rang through WhatsApp and I said Hello. On the other end was a rather high pitched, younger voice with what I think was a Dutch accent. He said he was surprised how low my voice was and I told him I was surprised by his accent. He tried to say that he had told me he lived in Italy for 4 years (when he was 15) as if that was to explain it all. I cheerfully said, “oh that’s something I have never asked you, how many languages do you speak?” And he hung up. I was not surprised, I just don’t understand what the point was. He never asked for money, in fact offered to pay for things. He did want to come here straight from his job in Belgium. I thought that absolutely ridiculous as he supposedly has a 13 year old daughter staying with his 85 year old aunt in Elora Ontario who he said he hasn’t seen in 5 months. He told me he sold his house there and will move to Edmonton in December. He said his daughter was fine with that but I don’t think any 13 year old girl wants to move, mid school year, away from her friends. Also, his reasons for moving to Edmonton were easily found on a website of the 10 best things about the city.
The part that made me question everything early on was when he said he couldn’t Video call me as it was not allowed with his contract for work, only to family for security reasons. He also said he was the boss on a project building a 4 story hotel out in the woods near Namur, Belgium. I questioned that early on as I had never heard of that being part of a contract and he jumped on me for wanting him to risk his job. This morning, I asked him what his favourite parts of Namur were after I researched it. He said he only saw it on his way to the site and that they aren’t allowed to leave the site without security so he doesn’t. The story just got weirder and weirder to the point that I have to wonder if he is in jail, but also how he has access to contact me.
I am glad I was so cautious and there was never any sexual talk. That was the interesting part as it was mostly getting to know each other conversation, and laughs. Such a shame and so, so pointless.
I shall brush the dust off from that Asshat and move on but it really was quite the timing. I have always believed that evil is connected in the world and it was just another layer of ugly laid on a weekend that reminded me that it has been 30 years tonight that I was raped and impregnated. I will state again that I do not wish it to not have happened or I would not have my amazing son, and granddaughter, but really???
I spent 7.5 hours at a client’s today and that was fun and took my mind away from it, mostly. I popped home to feed Missy and then grabbed cash and headed to Landon’s for a small group poker night. There were 8 guys, Landon’s Nona, and me. I was big stack right up until I was taken out 3rd, that and my bounties sent me home $55 up and I had my faith restored by a small group of good humans.
I wonder what it was in me that he thought he could manipulate. I have been beaten and bruised and psychologically damaged by way bigger monsters. I will not accept that treatment from anyone, ever again. I am my own best company who makes the life she wants. You can come along for the ride and have all the fun, but you can Not drag me down.
triumphgal 