Today I binged Apple TV shows like Shrinking, and Silo while I honoured Jackie by building my Lego Nightmare Before Christmas. The Light my Bricks kit had awesome add as you build instructions online. Jackie’s deceased daughter, Lena, and I had a shared love of all things Jack. I wish Jackie has seen the completed kit.
Tonight I light a candle, something J & I did, often.
I gently applied weight, standing on both feet when I got out of the shower. I will not push it but it was comforting to know I could.
It was ABC zoom morning and for the first time in a very long time we were all there. It was nice to catch up and so good to see Lynda doing so well after her brain surgery. I listened and worked on adding the lights to my Jaws Lego. It turned out really well!
Rae brought me to my pedicure appointment with Melissa who did an amazing job. It was so good to have my feet and legs pampered
I had ordered ingredients for chili through the Viola app at Safeway and Rae picked them up for me. It is a potluck on Tuesday at the office and that is what I shall bring.
This morning I messaged with Mike, the woman who introduced me to Jackie. She’s in Mexico and it was a tough conversation but good to connect. I had more happy memories than deep grief today.
I started working on my Nightmare Before Christmas Lego and the details are amazing in this one too, even if you can’t see it
I don’t sleep well. I woke crying and then made calls to those I knew needed to hear from me.
I was very grateful for the safety stool loaned by the Magees and the handle installed by Gene so that I could have a very much needed shower. It swept away a lot of tears.
Rae picked me up and we went to Desirable nails where she had a pedicure as thanks for driving me so much while I got my nails redone. We had booked it before I heard the news. I chose a colour I knew Jackie would love.
Mine took longer and Rae had a meeting so I wandered Winners and picked up a few things on sale while I waited. It was nice to see Ashlée’s work across the way
I came home and focussed on finishing my Lego.
I am tired and not tired, the day has drained me. Tomorrow will be slightly better
I saw the name when I picked up my phone to answer it. I struggled to answer as I knew in my gut why he was calling. My best friend’s son, Reid, was calling to let me know that his Mom had died today.
I am in an emotional coma, the sobs come in waves. She was the person who knew me best, and loved me even more in spite of, or because of, that. I have so many tales of laughter and tears. The memories are running like a slideshow in my brain at the moment.
I last saw her in July.
I planned to go see her for her 70th in March, but had to wait to see my surgeon before locking down the plan. I was waiting to FaceTime her until I knew. I wish I hadn’t waited.
She set me on the path that led to who I am and what I do today.
I will forever miss my Jackie
Jackie Berry 03-05-1955 to 02-06-2025 RIP
Today was complicated and I am glad to get past it. It is late, but I haven’t unwound yet. Gene came this morning and installed my grab bar so I can safely shower. It’s a nice one that matches my towel bars. He then drove me to work.
I was emcee for the first of the Winter Ale series in the Key City lobby and what a blessing
The opener was Oliver McQuaid from Kimberley and he is a very talented singer/songwriter with a touch of comedian.
The main act was The Charms, two ridiculously talented humans, Denis & Meg Dufresne. Also just really nice people!
I accidentally videoed but the sound is so good and the story leads perfectly into the next video so I am keeping it
Have to love a band that so dislikes streaming services that they played through the intermission
Of course I did this to unwind
Rae picked me up and brought me to my waxing appointment with Ireland and then to Home Depot to buy a safety grab bar for my shower. I also grabbed a plant for my office
I got a fair amount of things done today, but was very frustrated again by my volunteer experience and I am looking forward to being off the board this month. I do not work well with the newest board member and have been refraining for a week and a half from responding to his emails with a firm F off today was so close.
Ashlée bought most of my stuff from her place and pick me up from work which was great. She just missed the things in the bathroom, which I’m sure Rae-Anne can bring in the morning. I am now officially moved home.
I put away most of my stuff and then sat at my table, watching my shows and did two more bags of my Lego Jaws before my foot had had enough and needed to be resting up. 
I saw an interesting thing on one of the shows that I watch and had to look it up online. now I want to go there. 
Rae picked me up this snowy morning I got a great deal done on many things today. I am again stressed and frustrated by the demands on me by a board member with no consideration for my time. I bit my tongue struggling not to reply to his myriad of email with a capitalized fuck off. Near the end of the day the president finally clarified that he was meeting with me on Wednesday to discuss parameters and bought me some time. Keratin kindly drive me home and helped me get my scooter up on my porch. I use a kneel squat combo to get myself up. I made a nice meal. It is most challenging at home to take things out of the oven and the dishwasher
I settled in to do a little Lego and finish watching the Grammys. There were some lovely moments. Chappell Roan especially had a good message. It was impressive how much money was raised to help victims of the wild fires. I finished three bags and put my leg up for a rest.
Today was actually quite lovely. I got some more chores done. I sold a dresser. I made some good food. I rested as needed in between. I decided that I will continue to stay at home as long as I can continue to get rides to and from work as necessary.
I did one death defying thing which was to take a shower in my very deep standalone bathtub. I did text Rae-Anne to let her know that I would text her within 15 minutes and if not to call me and if I didn’t answer come check on me. I was extremely cautious and have decided that I will put a grab bar across the back wall that can double as a bathmat holder so that I am safe for years to come.
I was grateful to Gene who came and shovelled and ice melted my walkway and out to the road as we had a bit of snow today and he also moved my coffee table for me so that now I have a nice turnaround area more convenient then previous
I am going to sleep without my air cast on tonight as I don’t believe I can actually break or do any damage and honestly, I am so looking forward to not having it on for that length of time
It was so nice to awake in my own bed this morning. The night was only interrupted by Missy meowing in a way that made it clear she was pissed off that I was gone for so long.
Over the course of the day she has gotten comfortable enough for me to pet her again although she is still skittish about my scooter
I had a nice day, doing laundry, cooking for myself and moving what I could to make navigation easier in the house.
I have been catching up on my PVR shows in between chores. It is good to be home but I also find myself wondering what the family is up to
I am concerned for Deanne as she couldn’t move today so asked to go to the hospital. I am glad she will get sorted as it has been hard to watch her ability go downhill of late.
triumphgal 