I worked and brought Mom to the dentist and went to Rotary board meeting at the Heid-out and then back to work and then to home to have some dinner before meeting Rae-Anne and Roger and Bill at Key City for Will’s grade 8 band concert.
They really did a great job and I have to say that the grade 7 band who opened before them was very good.
I transferred all the files over for the organization. I was involved with before today and volunteered to work the door for Key City Theatre the night of the show. I feel like I am taking my power back and not gonna let them put me down.
Today, in spite of reliving every board meeting at night, I feel much better. I got a lot done and headed to Heid Out to meet Laurie for our semi-annual dinner out. It was so great to catch up and talk about Italy where she’s just returned from. Deb booked our experiences in Rome and my share was $744 which covers all the best tours. I am actually getting excited!
It was very hot today and yet my office was freezing cold from the air-conditioning so either being in or out the transition was hard on a body. It’s unbelievable that 27°C feels cool at the moment.
I was texting with a friend who is still on the FPPAS board, although he has stepped down as president and jokingly said I’m still on for Friday night right lol. His reply stunned me. Had Ward not told me that he had asked someone else to emcee?
I was incredibly shocked to say the least, as I was asked by the past present, who was the organizer to please stick with the organization long enough to be the MC.
I admit it hit me in all the feels; first anger which then quickly turned to complete disappointment, and then incredible sadness ramping quickly into depression.
The last stage was especially brought on when I received a terse not apologetic email from the acting president just stating the facts that indeed someone else was going to be the MC.
I talked to the powerful kind women that work around me who all agreed that I should reply with a skin peeling email, however what I couldn’t clearly communicate is the buttons that a situation like this pushes and my feeling that should I try to respond in a reactive way it would only get worse.
I replied to the email that I did find the disrespect untenable and that I had never done anything to hurt him.
This was his reply
I responded immediately with the simple directions to remove my credit card from the society, Google suite, including full directions how to do so, and did not mention the body of the email at all.
I then sat and cried as the accusations were unfounded, but my instinct led me to question my behavior, and how it came across. Maybe I was to blame for this situation somehow.
I finally thought to call another board member who had also left (4 in all recently) and had been the secretary. I needed to run it past her if she remembered any of that behavior.
Elva made it very clear that I was being gaslit. She has recordings of all the board meetings in order to do her notes later in the evening. She said they were many heated discussions over the course of the year between other board members that didn’t even include me and never once was there more than a decibel of voices raised. She encouraged me. She told me that no one who knows me would ever believe that about me and if they do believe it, they don’t matter. It was what I needed to hear from someone who was there.
The problem is, I do see the bigger picture. He is a man who is trying to push things through in an unprofessional and not long-term thought out way, and I questioned him. I felt that is my position on a board, my responsibility, to question things and then go with the majority. As long as all the questions have been asked, all options are on the table. Good decisions can be made. Apparently, being the question asking person is a negative in little boy in a man’s body world.
Of course, having been treated this way in my life has left me susceptible to internalizing. I am writing all this tonight so that I can truly process and let go and move on. The really sad thing is that I was already missing VIMF and now I don’t have the joy of summer sounds either.
I did look up the definition of gaslighting, and I asked Siri how to respond to it
I completely resigned in every way from the organization today. That is number three and six
I have email, the receipts, if you will . Number five
I definitely did two and four
I am working hard on number one
I had made plans back in November with Deb to see a show tonight and we planned to do dinner first. I wasn’t sure I was going to be good company but now I am really glad that I went and had a good visit with her and we talked about our upcoming trip and we had a delicious dinner at the modern olive before going to see a whole New World at Key City Theatre. That was much better than sitting home in the sad.
I haven’t got to bed at three in the morning. I slept till noon. I then went and picked up Lukas and we went to Home Depot to get post holders and post followed by a stop at Top Crop for more mulch. We worked our butts off for about four hours or so and then I dropped him off at their family friends for dinner. I gave him the $25 choice gift card that I won last night and he was very happy. I am very happy that I now have a proper fence and a gate that works. After dinner and rest and it cooled down to about 24 I went out and put the last little panel up to block they are getting in that was part of my last gate. I also installed solar lights on top of the posts and I’m waiting for dark so I can see how beautiful they will be. It was a very good day.
When I stopped to pick up Lukas, I had a little visit with Gene and noticed that he has his Fluevogs on display in his living room. He said he wished he had $1 million so he could buy that brand of shoes to wear every day. See, it’s genetic.
I woke up at a decent time and headed to a client to work for the day.
When we were done, I came home and watched a few episodes of And Just Like That before, heading over to Monica’s to hang out with her and Jessica and Serena. We took a cab to the Eagles Hall where the drug show for pride month was happening. I was blessed to be on Monica‘s guest list. It was an extraordinary evening. The performers were all at their best and so much fun was had in the safe environment of the Eagles. The last two years have been at a bar where more locals with negative impact showed up over the course of the evening. Tonight felt safe and fun and as an ally, I had a great time. After the show Monica‘s husband Galen, who was heavily involved in running it drove us back to their place and Monica and I had a great visit. I can’t believe it’s already 2:43 in the morning. Apparently, this old gal can still rock it. I was so impressed with the body positivity, and the pure joy that was happening at this event.
I went into work today and got the third of four big projects finished before taking off at two to head for Elkford. My bonus granddaughter’s second birthday party was to be at 4 o’clock. It was very well attended all the kids were great and it was so nice to spend time just hanging out. Emmy Gwen and Thea can all be standoffish, but Gwen has come around to me and as I went to leave today, Thea came to me with arms wide open for a hug for the first time. It was really nice to meet Malcolm’s mom, Aimee, who was here from Winnipeg just for the party. She is Filipino and made the most delicious food and sent me home with leftovers. I also came with extra birthday cake that Danika came that was delicious as well. I stopped for gas on the way back and managed to get it for $1.159 per Litre by using only 4000 PC points for the extra .10 off which was an incredible savings. It’s a shame they are two hours each direction away. I am sleepy from the drive, but glad that I went.
I got up and got on the treadmill and did all the right things and then headed to work. From there, I went to pick up mom‘s pills before going to my Rotary lunch, which was ” interesting.”
The surprise speaker at lunch was John Rustad, the leader of the conservative party of BC. It was interesting to watch him try to give a non-partisan speech. he did have some interesting stats and figures about times for building permits and housing, crisis, etc., but I still found it uncomfortable. I did get a little clamped when I did a happy bucks announcement to celebrate Gene’s graduation and cadet award
After the meeting, I went to mom’s to give her her pills and have a short visit before heading back to the office. I did get two major things sorted and done off my list which deserves a happy dance.
Have to work I headed over to Encore as it was friends with benefits night and Jesse was there giving a talk about he and Fred and Paul’s turning on the El Camino Trail. After that, it was trivia and I joined up with John and his wife whose name I have forgotten already to become the team 3,2,1…Liftoff. Left off as one of the Encore beer. We did pretty good but not good enough. It was fun though and it was fun to watch Lukas at work there.
I got home to the wonderful surprise that the weed warrior had been here and taken care of a nasty pile of dirt and compost that I inherited from the original owners nearly 6 years ago.
Now I am hunkered down, watching a handmaid‘s tale.
I got up this morning and finished my book finally. It was a powerful read for me as there were so many moments of recalled memories. It helped me to understand why I have struggled so much with faith since I left the church in 1995. I’m OK with my decision not to take part in organized religion. I’m OK with my decision to just be me and know that I am loved for who I am and that I have a caring heart.
I have done well also this week with getting on the treadmill every morning. The first few days 18 minutes was the max I could do and today was a full half hour. I shall keep working my way up to a minimum of an hour. I need to shed the pounds. I need to get healthy again. I also started tracking my bad habits so that I can slowly wean off them as well. I want to get back to where I was a couple years ago. I have gained 30 of the 40 pounds that I lost and I need the gain to stop now. Moving more drinking less and eating less will get me there.
I was up earlier than my alarm this morning, so I did as I promised myself I got on the treadmill. Promise my whole body hurts right now from the yardwork this weekend, but I managed to get at least 20 minutes in and that felt good. I have some goals and I’m working on them. Today, Leanne and I decided to go to Calgary on the Saturday instead of Sunday for conference so we can get there in time for our opening ceremony seats that we were made aware of today and that is at 9:30 on Sunday morning 22 June. She kindly arranged the Saturday night for us to stay at her cousins, which is near to the venue and then we will check into our hotel on Sunday between events. I really am grateful for our friendship. Yes, I think I would not be so involved in all the Rotary things if it weren’t for her.
After work, I went to Canadian Tire to find out how to work my solar lights as in two days they haven’t come on, and I knew the people there would have knowledge. Sure enough there is a little switch inside the head when you take it apart. Sadly, there were no directions on the box but the lady they suspected they might work the same as her little butterfly ones and she was right.
Once home, I was grateful to have my HelloFresh again and I made a delicious meal and lunch for tomorrow before settling to watch up to the current episode of the last of us
Oh my and as I completed this, I started scrolling and saw the good news about my oldest grandson who is named after my father. Gene would’ve been so proud of our Gene.
Finished a busy day with an invite out from Laura. We had delicious food and great conversation at Fenwick & Baker. I am sleepy and achy from all the work this weekend. I tried to get on the treadmill this morning but only made it 18 minutes before my hip didn’t like it any more. Hopefully tomorrow will be longer.
I had a good sleep in a quick coffee and then go out in the yard before it got too hot. I got a great deal done. Last year I had bought an edging and finally got it in place along the edge of my new sidewalk and raked the gravel up to it and put in my new solar pathway lights. I also mulched with bark and area, but need to get some more smaller ones to complete it. There were other small chores that I got done including hooking up all the timer and watering system for the different areas of the yard and then I showered and headed to the kids for family dinner as Rae-Anne and Roger arrived back from Mazatlan today just in time for Elias to fall from his bike at the skate park and do some pretty serious damage to his elbow. dinner was awesome. The visit was great and they brought me a special bottle of Patron for looking after the kids.
It seems that Missy likes her scratch post outside more than she did inside which is good
I don’t know what was special about that patch of lawn, but the birds were having fun there when I got home
triumphgal 