07-15-25 And so I build
So I have a pretty good awareness of my mental health. I am fully aware that I am in a classic depression. At this moment in time, well for sometime now, my happy place is at my dining room table building Lego and watching TV. The problem is it’s the only place that I am truly focussed and energized. I don’t want to go to sleep. I have trouble staying asleep once I get there or if I do sleep, I have lucid dreams so I am tired all day in spite of waking up before my alarm. And so I build. It’s almost as if I knew I would need this big stack of Lego to work my way through. I will keep building until I feel like I want to do other things again. I force myself to do things outside my home, but they drain me completely. Inside my home I should wash my floors, vacuum my carpet, scrub my bathtub. I am managing to cook for myself and run the dishwasher keeping the kitchen decent and I make my bed every morning. Those are positive, and I do know that this will pass, that I am grieving.
triumphgal 