01-05-25 RIP dear Jeanne
I laughed when I was asked by Brett if my frame was to scale and once measured, determined that they were. It just struck me as amazing considering that they are in centimetres and I ordered them out of the states. This is the cute ornament Kerstin brought me. Brett and Jill gave me the Lego happy plants that they did not know that I really wanted!
Rae-Anne came to drop off a new shoe calendar and I had a piece of Lego that Sawyer needed and a bag and box of Tassimo pods for Gene as my machine kept spewing grounds. After trying everything to remedy the situation, I finally got rid of it. I asked her if she could get some fruit and bring to her Granny. We ended up having a really deep amazing conversation about the principle of Relationship bullseye. I was very moved to know that she sees herself as number one in my bullseye. I did find this link about the concept. The discussion we were having was about how you can only look for support from someone further out from the centre in a crisis. As an example, if Rae’s best friend is in crisis, I can’t take my sad feelings to Rae, I can just support her through it and reach out in my ring or beyond to share my feelings. I don’t know if I am describing this very well but it makes so much sense
https://therapeuohealth.com/blog/f/relationship-bullseye
https://coachdale.com/2021/02/11/relationship-bullseye/
She hadn’t been gone long from my office when I got the text that Jeanne was gone. I didn’t have a rush of feelings. I finally cracked when I was hugged by Keri and then Ashley. I had to quickly compartmentalize as there was payroll to finish. I laughed when Ashley showed up with options to get me through.
After work I did stop at Fenwick and Baker and was relieved to only find Cody sitting at the bar. He, Chris the bartender, and I chatted for a couple hours while I had some dinner and it was good for my soul. Once home I made it through two old albums to find a few pics of Jeanne from back in 1983-84 when we were together most every day. I know I have many more pics but these are just a few. I am still processing that 11 months ago tomorrow my Jackie died from the same horrible disease, COPD. These were two very influential women in my life. I shall now use their memories as a backbone to continue not to smoke. My last one was Oct 15, 2025. I intend to do my best to keep it that way.
While I was going through my album I took the time to send these pics to my friends in them. The first is my friend Sandy (Roe) clipping Rae-Anne’s nails as it used to freak me out to do so. Her son Dustin was born 4 days before Rae and that is how we met, in the Kimberley hospital. We became fast friends. The second is of my school friend Julie very pregnant and dancing in heels at our friend Kris’s wedding. I love the joy in that pic.
Today we are sad for us, but glad her suffering is over. As Uncle Bryan said, now we learn how to live in a world without her. That is what grief is.
triumphgal 