01-09-26 Poker night
I’m trying to be conscious that I am allowed to feel the way I feel. Grief and loss touch me in different ways. I have to be conscious that my resting bitch face is there not as any sign of stress or anger, but just a general sadness or malaise. I reached out to Donna and Rosie today to ask what I could do and they each agreed it would be wonderful if I would start things rolling at the open mic during Jeanne’s celebration of life. of course that got my mind stuttering in the background, running memories like an old movie reel as I continue to work.
I thought going to poker tonight would be fun and it was. It was nice to see a new face and some familiar ones around the table. I had stopped at Finn and Baker to pick up some nachos to bring to find out that three of the people that I usually visit with there won’t be in their usual spots. Michelle was fired and Bob and Bejea have quit drinking. These are all good reasons. I did end up having a nice visit with Chris who is usually on the other side of the bar. It is so sweet to hear him talk about his dog, a 13-year-old lab.
I think I was the third one out at Poker, which is OK because I didn’t spend a lot of money and I had a nice time and I didn’t drink while I was there and now I am cuddled up in my chair to watch a show before heading to bed, a nice Friday night
triumphgal 