03-21-26 that stung
I do not like that I do care what people think. Not all people, some people, my circle. I realized fully tonight that many are user friendly. I am an avid volunteer and get pulled in when desperate. I rarely get invited to things, but really appreciate it when I am. It means a lot to me to know people think of me just for me. I guess that’s my love language, knowing that I am not out of sight, out of mind. I feel like I mostly am though. I volunteer a lot so I won’t just always be alone. I do enjoy 50/50 selling a lot, have a good rapport with the fans and most nights have sold the winning ticket. I did again tonight. I was mocked by my supervisor in front of the winner. I was then not included in the group gathering with champagne after the game so I just slunk away home. I don’t want it to hurt and I wish I had a personality that fits in better, but I will cry once again, put on a mask and let it go… until I can’t. Maybe it’s time for me to sell it all and be a nomad as I feel that is my true calling.
triumphgal 