triumphgal

October 24, 2021

Lazy morning and then off to the office. Got started on finishing a file and then Duncan came to discuss play stuff before our first meeting with the cast tomorrow night. I have to be cautious to Produce, and let him direct. The problem is that he is not used to thinking about site lines, etc. The solution is that I am big picture so I am thinking about those things. We agree to meet in some way once a week to touch base, brain storm and cover all the bases. I got back to work when he left and then received a text that there was a problem with the stage mic. It was matinee day and 230. I booted over there to find it was half way through the show and not much I could do. Odd Pepijn didn’t let me know in time but I am happy he was comfortable to work the show anyway. I stayed working on files until nearly 7 and then came home to make one of my favourite soups ever. It wasn’t my recipe but was delicious. I left out the jalapeño and used half the paprika. Still bumpy but it was so good I wanted to eat both servings! Lunch is something to look forward to.

Missy is really starting to annoy me. We are back to the in and out, meowing insanity of the change of seasons. I am going to have to lock down the tent trailer soon as well. I saw her sneaking out of there and I don’t want it covered in hair, nor do I want other cats in there.

Not much to say today, but that’s a good thing, right?!

October 23, 2021

Today would have been my Dad’s 82nd birthday. The problem is he was only 64 when he crashed his float plane and died. I wonder some times what life would be like if he were still around. Other times I am grateful that I didn’t have to watch you age and ache. I get it now, the T3s and Scotch each evening, waking up early when they wear off. The slowing pace getting in and out of vehicles, the fear of getting hurt as the healing takes longer. Now that I am only 6 years younger than you ever were, I understand how truly young you were when you got your permanent wings. I wish you could have known your grandchildren. I know you would love them and would have been incredibly charmed by the boys, losing your heart to Emmy. Gene is doing your name proud. He is tall and strong and a hard worker.

I miss you and know you would be proud of us all.

Today I turned my thoughts inward as I worked to finish off my bathroom renovation. I am happy with the result even if it isn’t perfect. Papering over paneling can only look so good. I do love it though.

October 23, 2021

I worked on my volunteer duties all day today to get them out of the way as the board meeting approaches at the same rapid speed as year end and I needed to get it off my list. I then ripped over to my gal at the salon for the waxing upkeep before heading home to make some dinner

Tonight is the night. Opening night for The Shape of a Girl by Joan Macleod at Cranbrook Community Theatre directed by Amy Penney. This evenings performance was presented by Cheyenne Kneller, a 15 year old actor from our local high school. She shares the role with Jelena Jenson on alternating nights. I look forward to seeing Jelena next week. I purposely did not read the script as I did know it would trigger me. It is inspired by the events of the swarming and murder of 14 year old Reena Virk in 1997 under the Craigflower bridge in Victoria. I remember clearly when this occurred and found myself only two years later at the age of 39 in the place where she died. It was overwhelming as I was in rehab working through my own PTSD from bullying and being a suicidal 16 year old. I will say that I was not sure I should see this show, that it may trigger me. I wasn’t wrong. One of the producers sat down beside me just as the show was about to start and when the Director came out to give the land entitlement recognition she also gave a beautiful tribute to Peter and I for the work that we have done on the renovation to make this show possible. I turned to Elizabeth and said ‘damn, I didn’t bring Kleenex’. she promptly handed me one and i wiped away the first of my tears for the evening. Young Cheyenne did a wonderful job, given her youth and inexperience. I could see the great work Amy had done with her. I was not entirely lost in the show but found myself noting markers that were true and touching to me. It wasn’t until after the curtain call that I found myself ‘leaking’. I had to stay in my seat and go through all the feels. I made a point to connect with Amy to go for a drink after and talk. I am glad I did for many reasons, not the least of which that she should not have just gone home on opening night without some celebration of what she made happen. We had good talks, Director to Director and then Producer to Producer as we are to the next two shows. The show left me feeling deeply my connection with bullying, from both sides. The references to the lower mainland, to jumping off bridges, which I had wanted to do when I was 16, to being treated as less than, the butt of jokes, to lashing out at others in response, left me raw. The discussion of where we go with the next shows and the acknowledgment that things are different in community theatre compared to professional and how to adjust, filled my tank back up. I am grateful we made the time. There were things that could have been better but over all the show was a success. The writing is prose, the timing is critical and I look forward to seeing how Jelena interprets it. It is not light entertainment but it is a mirror that many should look into.

I was gifted with a journal and a beautiful card signed by the cast and crew that made me laugh and cry in the same breath. I feel blessed by the experience and am grateful I spent myself to help make it happen.

Should you be interested in seeing it please go to cranbrookcommunity theatre.com for streaming and on demand options. It is a powerful experience running through to next weekend.

October 21, 2021

Today was as satisfying as yesterday, mostly filled with working on the same file. I was interrupted only by heartstring moments.

First, as I was eating lunch at my desk and scrolling Facebook, I learned that our local cobbler, a lovely man named Fred had passed away. He was also a client of mine and I am very sad to have learned that. I reached out to see if anyone could connect me to his family so I could pass on his paperwork. A man responded with a private message who turned out to be his best friend and we had good long messages this evening, making a plan. I also asked him how our one mutual friend on Facebook is my Mom’s cousin only to find they were roommates back in the day. Another lovely small world connection. I really appreciated that his first question was to ask if Fred owed me for any work and I of course said no. It was my pleasure knowing him and he fixed my motorcycle saddle bag, two pairs of Fluevogs, and numerous other shoes for nominal fees. He actually fixed the one pair of Fluevogs that Vancouver cobblers declined being able to. I only wish he had been able to follow through on his dream to train someone else to take over. He will be missed for his kindness, gift of gab and service in the community.

Second, I was in the middle of things when my phone buzzed an incoming FaceTime and it was Jackie!!! I have tried several times to reach out to her and not gotten an answer. I had pretty much gotten sad and withdrawn, begun to consider her lost to me… and there she was. I know she understood everything I said by her varied responses. I always felt like she was my big sister and that is the kind of communication that is special. I know the way to just rattle off things and read her responses. I was able to let her know of a few mutual friends who have died on Salt Spring and ask her if she is reading any good books to which she definitely said no but showed me 4 different adult coloring books which she opened to the beautiful work she is doing. They really are like the Doodle Art of the 70s now. She let me know to take a deep breath and get through October. I wish I could have spoken longer but I had so much to accomplish. So grateful to be reconnected!!

Third, at 5 pm I met my sweet friend Stacey at Grapes and Suds to bottle our two kinds of fruit wines that her sweet husband Lance paid for. We made Blackberry Blast and Pomegranate Wild-berry. A fun time was had and she was sassy as usual which always puts me in a very good mood. I am grateful that a client that some people found standoffish at the firm I used to work for, turned out to be a dear friend. I think this relationship will last a lifetime.

Fourth, I rushed from the bottling to grab my gear and head to Shield Maidens. There I got to spar with my friend Christie, who I am grateful for getting me into this and also with 10 or so other girls and women who blow me away with their acceptance and skills. Everyone is just so respectful and fun and into being our best selves. That sounds so cliché but it’s true. There are all ages (I am sure I am the oldest ranging down to 11)(She towers over me!), all skill levels and all manner of personalities. I am just grateful that they accept me at the level that I am at. Joel is a great Guro and is fabulous at building us up at the level we are at. I am slowly learning the moves while being careful to protect my hip and my brain. I see my Physiotherapist next week to confirm what is good or bad with my Iliac Crest issue. I already know to protect my brain so it may not be the best choice to take up a sport that involves boxing gloves but I can not stress enough how much it relates me!!

October 20, 2021

The moon was glorious this morning. A full moon in Aries. No wonder I tossed so much last night.

Aside from a few bills to pay, email to respond to and Facebook groups to monitor, I was able to spend a glorious 8 billable hours on just one file. I was able to work through it with flow and concentration, laughing with my workspace mates and enjoying lunch and coffees.

That leaves me enjoying my evening after enjoying a good dinner and watching a few shows.

October 19, 2021

At 6:50 am I received my first email of requests for the day. At 11:15 I finally had my first coffee of the day. In between I was told if I play the victim I will attract people who make me a victim. I refuse to accept that as I have been thrown under the bus without seeing it coming in the past and I will not allow that again. And so I stress and push aside all the things that make me a successful business woman to get the volunteer duties cleared off my path. I was taught by my father that I am only as good as my word. I quit on the theatre once before. Whether everyone sees it as justified or not I feel the need to stick to my current commitment no matter the cost. Once I had my mini meltdown I returned to my mantra of the week, “ No blame, only solutions” Following in the flow of random things going wrong I had to return to the theatre 4 times in all today. I found myself struggling and needing to reach out for help but ultimately I pulled all correct information and got it done. Matt came to my rescue in person, running back and forth between his guitar instruction and the booth. I couldn’t have done it without him. All in all I was so happy to be able to be there right up to current call for the dress rehearsals and know it was going to be ok.

Once I left the theatre I had a half hour at home before heading to see Alex Cuba at the Royal Alexandra Hall. I bought tickets for Rae and Roger and Ashlée for Christmas. It was so lovely and fun. When I was making a post and tagging Alex I saw that we had 4 friends in common. I thought it must be from MusicFest as he was there in 2018 which is where I became impressed with him and his brother, Adonis Fuentes. The odd thing was that our common friends are from Salt Spring Island…. I will have to follow up on that and find out why. He really is breathtaking and lives in Smithers, BC! I now have something positive to think about that place as it is where my mother and sister died, in a small lake just outside town in 1963, I had such a nice time with my kids and was able to relax and get lost in the music.

It was a little cold this morning…

My car can apparently go several levels more than the speed limit. Why are those numbers even available???

October 18, 2021

Jumped out of bed and headed to the theatre to meet with the electrician to fine tune the to-do list. They are so kind to work with. I am very grateful for their respect. I worked back and forth between the theatre and my paying work. It was ok, I felt in control of things and managed to get a lot done in both venues. More and more is being finalized in the Stage Door and the vision is coming true. I will be happy to leave this legacy, supported by the Board. I stayed longer at work to get more done and then came home to make dinner seconds before my Zoom board meeting. I scarfed it down and participated in our planning the final concert of our Fisher Peak Season. I am feeling better about the way things are coming along. As it the theatre, I look forward to The Schalk’s and I having a glass of wine and a visit when this is all done… maybe a whole bottle.

October 17, 2021

Today I took the time to clear out the airbnb, strip my bed and do laundry for hours. In between I watched my shows and began papering my bathroom. First I had to move the electrical outlet so I could install the back splash. It was a little tricky but I got the box moved and installed a new GFCI. The wallpaper is more beautiful than I hoped but I sort of wish I had filled everything with a thin coat of plaster since every little flaw shows through. It is still better than it was and I will hang things to cover the worst bits. I wasn’t willing to put new wallboard up so this is an acceptable alternative. I did take my time and there is still much to do but at least I got more things off my list.

I made a delicious dinner and then did some more. I was hoping to get the medicine cabinet installed but will take my time. I don’t want to hurt myself and doing things above my head hurts my back. I am sitting on the heating pad now. Soon I will make my bed and tuck in.

I had an experience with a Buck in my yard. Missy was funny and I was lucky it wasn’t an angry Buck and headed on it’s way.

October 16, 2021

I awoke 10.5 hours after falling into a deep sleep. So much sleep that I stumbled out of bed. I started the day with apologies for the week I have had if I was less than gracious. I then settled in with a mug of coffee and my Chicago shows on PVR. I had intentions to do my wallpaper in the bathroom so I did take the time to measure from different points in the room. And then i watched more shows until it was time to shower and go get my nails done. Minh shoes such a gentle and good job that I relax into it and find my zen. I also love the artist that he is.

After that I calmly wandered the fairly quiet mall, picking up stocking stuffers and comfie pants, earrings and PPE. Then it was time to come home for leftovers before inviting Tracey to join me at the game. It was great to sit between Rae and Tracey, having chats and enjoying the game. The bucks were beat by this team last night 4-1 but tonight we won 3-2 and it was an exciting game! It ended and one second later there was a glove dropping brawl. That is not something we see often anymore which I appreciate.

I came home and watched more shows and relaxed. In all today was lovely and I worked hard to just relax and separate the things that stress me out from the things that don’t. Tomorrow I will accomplish more but I can only do that when I have had days like today!!

October 15, 2021

Tootsie roll in my pocket, you keep me going. I find you in the early hours of my day, you cause me to pull up my big girl panties, today has many hurdles yet to come. I keep reaching to see if you are still there, anticipating the moment I will need your comfort the most. The day slogs on, living up to its anticipated nightmare, you lurk in the shadows. I deal with others, trying hard to get things done with out placing blame. Steps forward, trips back, over and over and over. Technical difficulties, bulbs blown, people to disappoint, disappointment in others and still you wait. Missed hockey game, computer updates, how to find a bulb…. Argh. Home again, English lamb stew made, Hendrick’s G&T drank, 10:15, too late, no room for you.

Oh sleep take me away and tomorrow dear Tootsie, we shall meet again.

On an up note, I did a nude photoshoot for FB today, lol

October 14, 2021

It really is a wonderful phenomenon that a good visit with friends who share good scotch and pumpkin pie over a never ending game of crib can wash all your troubles away. I had grown accustomed to missing my friends and there we were sharing laughs and theory and pie. We honestly took hours to play one game of crib. It was fun and exactly what my soul needed.

Today had overwhelmed me starting before I even got in the shower with email, questions and demands. I was struggling to meet everyone’s needs, the fear of dropping a ball racing behind me like a wildfire. I was grateful that Stacey dropped by for a quick visit, I finished the file that will be passed on to the Firm, I had a lovely joking time with my dentist, Dr Mike as he worked on the top and bottom right of my mouth. I was feeling terrible after the dentist as my Hiatus hernia had flared up from the stress causing terrible bile to flow while in the chair. I had asked him if I could go to MMA tonight and he said yes, just make sure they hit you on the right side, it will be frozen for a while and you won’t feel a thing. As it happened I really enjoyed Shield Maidens as we actually had contact fighting tonight and I needed that!! I was told by two of the women that I was one to be feared now. I like that. I do wish my contacts would get here though as I can’t fight in glasses.

I stopped by the theatre between the dentist and more work to see where things were at and found some disappointments and some improvements. Ben was there working on the light hang. I put together the computer caddy and installed the new keyboard and mouse. I feel confident the lights and sound will be ready even if not the speakers I paid for as they are in transit still. I am assured the currently owned speakers can be flown if they don’t show up. I hope no one else has held back any information. I can not let this fail.

This month has been singularly trying so far and it is not even half way through. A sure sign for me that something has to give is a very bad stress habit I have. When I was young I chewed my nails. Now…. Well it’s bad… I will have to call to get them done, hopefully on Saturday.

October 13, 2021

Today is most remembered in its moments. It would seem that I lost all solid grounding, all touch points in my world. I suppose part of it is that I have not been alone in a while. I have had company for 4 nights, first Emmy and then my friend, Those were both very good things but I am very much better at being alone. My Dr on Salt Spring, back 25 years ago, told me that I should probably choose not to have roommates. That rings true today. If I am not lost in love with someone, the minutia of daily life catches up with me. I am overwhelmed by you. If I am merely spending time, no matter how close we are, I will be overwhelmed by you in a different way. My own self is too straight up so I do work hard to control my impulses, my thoughts, to be a friendly host. What generally happens though is I eventually think you love me enough to hear whatever I have to say. I share my thoughts… sigh.

I started the day getting ready and putting on the necklace I was wearing on my motorcycle trip to learn more about my birth mom. When I got to Prince George, to the Friends (yes that is their last name), he ran on out to his shop and soldered it for me. Every time I wear it, I remember that and the memories made as they shared their memories of my mom and even introduced me to one of her best friends from high school. Feeling connected to my past I said goodbye to my friend as he headed home to Kaslo hoping to beat the snow, and headed to work.

I had one call after another, email and texts in between. And then I saw the message on Facebook that my Dad’s cousin, Marnie, had died.

It was seriously trippy as the Friends are Alice and Greg and their daughter is Marni

Dad’s cousin Marnie has a son, Greg

I am Marnée and my brother is Greg

It would seem that the only name every one could decide on the spelling of is Greg!!!

I was feeling all the feels, so I dug in my purse to find an ancient lipstick and decided to doll my self up for the afternoon.

A positive was that I was randomly invited out of no where to come play crib at the Campbells tomorrow night. I have Shield Maidens but hope Diane is feeling better and that it won’t be too late as I would enjoy a visit but can’t risk a cold being that I am going to be interacting with cast and crew Friday night for Tech night at the theatre.

October 13, 2021

I was tired but up and at it, on the treadmill, showered up and out the door to get my payroll clients taken care of. I needed to be done and ready to pick up my friend and bring him to the hospital for his MRI. He was very stressed and I was trying hard to keep him calm and ready. There were drugs taken, prescribed by his Dr to reduce the anxiety. As I had been for and MRI recently I was able to give advice. I got all necessary things done and then picked him up for a short shuttle to the hospital. While he was busy I popped off to take care of a bunch of errands for CCT and me. My new glasses finally arrived! As I headed down the strip I say on several corners, men holding signs… The Messiah has come. I will say it left me curious…

I stopped to get gas and there was a stink bug inside the glass!

Oh my word… when he texted it was time to pick him up. I have no words to describe how interesting it was to experience him stoned. His first request was pizza as he was ‘’fucking hungry”. We had a full afternoon and evening playing Super Mario World on my Wii and then a few fun games like ‘a little wordy’ and then I introduced him to Patchwork which i hope he will want to play again via the app in the future.

earlier in the evening I asked if he would help me fix my vanity as the tap was off center. When I went to pull the vanity out for better access, I noticed a leak that was substantial. Several hours later all is fixed, the vanity is reinstalled and the tap is centred! It also now has a slight slope down left to ensure no water heads against the wall. It was good to have a second set of hands for that project.

Many deep conversations occurred this evening and I am grateful for that. Every moment brings us closer. It is easy to have a platonic friend that I would say is more like a brother. I can beef at him, we can both be annoyed with the other and yet feel the love.

October 11, 2021

It was a second day of time to celebrate today and I took advantage to sleep as long as possible. We played some Little Big Planet and then got frustrated enough to go for a walk. It was a spectacular day and the perfect temperature for a walk to Elizabeth Lake. I loved sitting and chatting on a bench, enjoying the sun and the breeze and the passerby’s.

Danika stopped by as Emmy has something for me. Big love

I do love talking about life and random plans, sharing the things that shall not be shared, with Mark. He does annoy me sometimes with his need to explain everything to death but at least it is not mansplaining. It is just his need to explain himself. I long for the day when he will know and trust that I get him, that I know him, that he doesn’t have to define every second. When we got back to the house I knew that I need to do some yard work and he immediately offered to mow the lawn which allowed me to start burning off the tree cuttings and start getting things ready for winter.

Once I got back in the house, completely exhausted and aching beyond belief, I took a shower and got in my jammies, ready to make dinner. There was a knock on the door and it was my neighbour, Tracey, ready with her truck to load up my renovation scrap to take to the transfer station for me. We popped out and loaded it all, and I gave her $20 and a coupon for a DQ sundae as a tip. I am so grateful and I know she is grateful that I am cleaning up along our fence line. I made a delicious dinner which unfortunately

I did make a delicious dinner which

was not interesting to my guest as he does not like vegetables. I decided not to own it and just package it up for lunch. It was tasty!!

We spent the evening playing crib (I kicked his ass) and watching Alter Ego and The Voice. It is fun to have someone else to talk judges with. Having a buddy is awesome.

October 11, 2021

I want to share all the amazing moments I had today with the grandkids but I am so tired, I have waited too long..

I will share a great time I had with Emmy by sharing a Facebook post I made. She was so much fun this morning and we dressed her up pretty and sent her to church with Auntie Ashlée

I spent the next whole bunch of hours cleaning my place and yes, vacuuming! I had to get down on my knees with my goo gone to take off the sticky glue mess from the renovation as the many layers of flooring left terrible residue that was tracked out. I also installed the grab bar in the shower as I don’t want anyone using it to feel unsafe.

The wind kicked up and I heard a loud bang. I looked out the door to discover a big plank had blown over. There seems to be a good share of leaves on the ground now which I will have to deal with soon.

Mark arrived and I was surprised to find he didn’t realize we were going to Guedes house for dinner. It all was delicious and the pies were well received. We played JackBox after dinner and then the game he brought, Poetry for Neanderthal which was fun,

The evening ended perfectly with a time of Little Big Planet and an episode of The Voice.

October 9, 2021

Really only three things major happened today… I spent time working getting the counters and gear installed in the tech booth for the afternoon, spent time getting supplies and then I have Emmy for the evening.

The theatre 4.5 hours was so dang rewarding. I trained the renters for when they come back in next weekend, installed the countertops on the tech bench, set up all gear ready to be connected, met with Matt to approve the MacBook he has rebuilt for our QLab software, and seriously left with a huge sense of accomplishment. Matt was blown away saying how professional it looks and that it actually left him with a sense of nostalgia. I get that as his Mom and I were in theatre together back in the 80s and it is a space he grew up in. When all is complete I will post before and after but for now…

I went off to Home Depot to return a bunch of items from my renovation and pick up a floating shelf for the booth. From there it was off to Walmart to find parchment paper but I ended up doing a good shop of many different things. I grabbed DQ as I hadn’t eaten all day and headed home to get my recycle loaded up before going to pick up Emmy at her grandparents.

Emmy began to count all the surprises. I think we got up to 6 and she was thrilled with it all. I had the yard decor, new toys from Auntie Rae, necklace and hair clips, a new bathroom, stickers to put in my new tub, and cookies that her Dad loves to make

She is such a lovely girl and after a couple cookies and a story she fell right asleep. I am sad Jake can’t make it but we are both happy Emmy is spending time with Nana.

October 8, 2021

It was below zero and crunchy out this morning. Today was super productive, even filed a charitable tax return. I covered the front desk in hope of my Amazon order arriving…but no. Came home and had some dinner and then headed to the hockey game. It was the season opener for the Bucks against the Trail Smokeaters. What a good game! Those guys at this level play good hockey. There were some serious hits, a couple major penalties and some great puck handling. It was fun to share it with Ashlée, Maddi, and Deanne. Had a great catch up with my bestie when I got home, making the plan for the weekend. I am so happy he is coming for Thanksgiving. Jake unfortunately doesn’t seem to be able to make it as he had to have work on his car. This has now created a problem as his winter tires are here. It is actually illegal for him to drive on the highway after October 1st without them. I am sooooo looking forward to no alarm tomorrow.

October 7, 2021

Today was full; full of theatre meetings with Ben who we hired to install all the tech, file work, salon appointment and Shield Maidens class. I didn’t get anything more done around the house but am getting lots of other things done and my hair makes me sooooo happy. You can really see on the right how much my shaved side has grown out since Feb 2020.

I really am loving Shield Maidens and it was much easier tonight although I did avoid anything that would hurt my hip. I learned how to elbow and uppercut tonight. Simple pleasures! Snow on the mountains!

October 6, 2021

I got up with full intention of having a bath and getting on with my day but decided to have a shower instead and head in early. I got so much done just focusing past the tired and achy. I even forgot to bring my lunch so worked on through and got more done than expected of me. One of my clients was shocked to have so much of his September reporting already. I suppose some of it could have been because Facebook, Instagram, Messenger, What’s App and who knows what else, all went dark! It was eerie, and I was concerned as I was in communication for payments with two people via messenger. I was fully done and I mean DONE with focusing by the time it was time to go get my friend from the airport. We headed straight to Mr Mikes to enjoy our gift card from the last meal. Once we were stuffed, we had a quick stop at Home Depot to get a shower curtain rod. Then it was home to kick back and play Little Big Planet for a few hours. Following that was The Voice. It is fun to discuss the voices with someone!

Jake was finding it may not be possible for him to come up next weekend as he has brake problems. I told him I would help him pay for now to get him up here. He made an appointment for Thursday, so fingers are crossed.