Part of my Noom course today was taking a love language test and I am not surprised that it is a near tie between Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation.
The day was long and productive. I received a text invitation to come to my deceased Great Auntie’s for a glass of wine and visit after dinner. I picked up my cousin Donna and off we went to visit with her sister Jeanne and their and my great uncle Lawrence who lives in the house. They are clearing out things before their brother Dan moves in and wanted to know if I was interested in a few things. My place is small but there was a vintage bedroom set I am interested in, I just have to plot out my space to see if it will fit. We too measurements and I will make a plan tomorrow. Every time I see a vanity set I think of my friend Jackie who sat at hers every morning to do her hair. I think I will work hard to find a spot for it.
The mountains were stunning in the twilight coming back from Kimberley. This is truly a beautiful area of the province. All in all it was a delightful evening and a wonderful end to the first Monday in May.
It’s hard to know when someone moves away if you will see them again. I think in my life I have always said goodbye with the thought in my head that it was just ‘for now’. Too many times life has made it so only looking back was left. Today I did some chores and then got ready and headed to the Firehall. There was supposed to be a BBQ here later but many things changed and spontaneously the plan became lunch with just four of us to say goodbye to Varghese. It was lovely to get to chat with Lynda and Melisa. We all worked together at a Firm a few years back and three of us left for other places. Yesterday was his turn to go and he is off on big adventures. First stop will be home to India to see his family as it has been 3 years. He does have plans to come back to Canada as he has his permanent residency but I would be surprised if it was to Cranbrook. At 30 years old he has so many options and I was interested to hear that he never wants to work in accounting again. I look forward to hearing of his adventures and want to trust I will hear from him and hopefully see him again.
Once I got home I went for a good long walk with Tracy and then we sat in the backyard having a beer and a chat. The temperature was perfect and no wind for a change. She got cold though, and I came in to make dinner. The meal of two huge servings means I will have to enjoy the rest tomorrow. I admit I binge watched the rest of The Flight Attendant that is available so far. Now I must get off to bed as tomorrow is a busy day again.
Started my day with a message to my cousin Debbi for her birthday and the off to get a tattoo to memorialize her sister. Kelly was murdered by her husband and the loss was huge. Debbi has a tattoo of a traditional style dragonfly with Free Spirit and the words Free Spirit with Kelly’s initials. I now have my version! I added splotches of colour as Kelly always wore neon if she had the choice. It was a running laugh in the family. Kimberly of The Tattooed Unicorn did a fantastic job. I love it.
After that I wandered the mall, picked up some frames at Winners and hung the card from Debbi as well as one from the Hearndens.
The evening was a good meal and a long bath watching more episodes of Better Call Saul. I have also started watching The Flight Attendant which is very unusual. I have to see it through to the end now.
I got sad news that a previous beau passed away. We had fun oh so many years ago. RIP dear Tony.
Today was intense as I worked to meet all obligations for the season. I filed my last return to the government at 4:35 and called it a day. It was interesting to see where I had missed a couple things while I was struggling with anxiety last month but they were minor in the big scheme and I easily fixed them. Thank goodness April is done, work wise.
Tonight was opening night of the current Cranbrook Community Theatre show, Tuesdays With Morrie. I love opening nights and it was nice to have the first show back with no mandates and an actual opening celebration after with champagne and cake. To get to hang around and talk about a show after, to schmooz with the cast and crew is always one of the best parts. I loved the show and it was especially timely as Morrie speaks to the idea of living like you are going to die. This is something I have always tried to do but had lost my way. My scare last month brought that back to the forefront and I am grateful for the changes I am making. I had a great talk with a couple of theatre friends about the fact that there is a role coming up for the fall that I really really really want. They 100% encouraged me to audition for it, that they could see me in it. I am going to put myself out there and audition in hope that it is not precast and see what happens. I will let you know when I am allowed to say what it is. As a board member I can’t announce it until the Society makes it public. Something to look forward to for sure.
Last night I cooked a goodfood meal that came as a combo. While I made dinner of rice bowls I also cooked everything to create noodle bowls. I had one rice bowl last night, the other for lunch and then one of the noodle bowls for dinner. It turns out they were both delicious but I preferred the noodle ones. I am glad I have one for lunch tomorrow and likely enough for dinner before the play. That is my kind of cooking, four servings but not four the same. If I make a pot of something I eat if for days as I don’t love thawed out leftovers. I do recommend goodfood. Hit me up if you want a coupon to try it.
One more long day ahead of me to finish and file 3 clients GST. At least I have a play to look forward to at the end of it.
I take one and then make dinner. The bell rings, dinner is served. The couch beckons, Netflix at the ready. Before long I first notice my breathing, the awareness that I have a throat, the stress gone from my body. Next it as if I feel the sea gently bobbing me around. The swells of feeling pass over me. My mind wanders easily. Each thing mentioned on TV triggers a string of thoughts. I know I should go to bed and fall asleep while I can but I am enjoying the ride provided by one legal capsule of oil.
I am blessed to acknowledge that I have contact with three ‘best’ friends who claimed that title in my life over 50 years ago. D’Arcy, Kelly and Deborah came into my life between 3 and 6 years old and at various points have provided me with all the love I needed. To have a bond that needs not talk even annually and to know that in a pinch, they are there for me is beyond measure. I hope that in their souls they know I would do anything for them. It is true that it is Facebook that brought the connection back. When people poo-poo it, I defend the fact that it is the address book, the change of address notice, the Rolodex of our day. Without it, life would just have moved on and we would only have the memories. Now, we have all the joy of watching others children and someday, grandchildren, come to be. I get to share in the celebrations and the pains of life in a moment. They give me support and love when I need it. Today, I received a box in the mail full of puzzles from my Kelly. She and I go back before school days, having met in the neighbourhood of Queensboro, New Westminster, B.C. She and I were so close we even skipped a grade together and share the title of youngest in the class of ‘80 although she is even 4 months younger than I am. The fact that she thought of me and sent me this wonderful hand-me-down gift, just warms my heart. When I went through therapy, every new councilor, psychologist or therapist would ask me if I could count on one hand the people I could reach out to in a crisis. It was always pointed out to me that the network I had formed was the structure to build my life on, to rely on, to know that I had worth if they thought I did, even when I didn’t. These three people are the base of my totem. I love them and know they love me, what more can one wish for.
I believe it is the depths of those relationships that allow me to accept the ‘besties’ I now have in my life that show me regularly that I am worthy of their love and let me be me. I do know that those friends from anon and the ones I hold close these days are all strong, loving, caring people who love their families deeply, no surprise our bonds are strong.
I hope you had a good day. I did! Got lots done, had 2 great client visits and I had the most billable hours in the month. I am still crazy tired but also very satisfied. I hope your day was 1/10th as good as mine was calm and productive. If so, we both did ourselves proud.xo
I got my good food meals this week and the servings are huge. Easy and delicious
I didn’t feel great today but it was nice out, warmer than it has been, so I decided to walk to the office and back. I used my Mapmywalk app for the first time. It really was a lovely stroll, chatting up people along the way, checking out gardens and houses I don’t usually get to see and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air. I got another file completed and headed back. It was near 7 when I got home and still warm and nice. My guts are still unhappy and I was worn out but it was so worth it. This week ahead will be very full.
The captain of my team, Ryan Getzlaf retired and was gifted by my favourite player of all time, Teemu Selanne. The Ducks will not be the same without them both.
It was worth setting an alarm today to spend time with the ABCs, well many of us anyway. There were noticeable absences and we aren’t together again until June, boo. I took the app Dave mentioned and made some fun watercolors as samples. I did a few chores including getting rid of the last of the bouquet I received on the 30th. The last two flowers fit perfect in the swan vase Cindy gave me.
Rae-Anne came by and chose a dress and shoes to wear to a 1920s gala tonight. I do not lend out shoes and they are my Carnaby Street, UK ones so I must prepare for any outcome. They are just a thing, right??
There was a cool thing on the fence when we left. I will take part.
The next long stretch of time was at the office. I got a lot done making next weeks list shorter. When I was nearing the end of my day, I enjoyed a bevie.
Came home and made a good meal before climbing into a tub and watching Bridgerton, Next it was out to the couch to take a gummy and relax. I have been having a time dealing with Survivor Guilt. My friend Deb died of Cancer before I knew for sure I didn’t have it and I am obsessively remembering her now. At the time I had no emotions, they were immediately shoved away. I wanted to reach out to her kids, I have not. I have to be careful and figure out how not to make it about me. I have known them for 30 or more years, I need to reach out, give them all the love and I will, when I process this oddness out of my system.
I love my girl, my middle child, my mini-me. She brings the character to the family. I am so thrilled that Bill and Deanne cooked a turkey and had us all over tonight. Unfortunately Rae-Anne isn’t feeling well so stayed home. Roger brought a bottle of deliciousness to share. Ice cream cake was the best. I was spoiled with a gorgeous weighted throw. All in all a great evening.
The day was busy busy and I was grateful that my friend Colleen had sent me a link to Heygo, a site with free tip funded tours. The one I took was from a woman named Elizabeth who took us through her city of Aqueripa, Peru petting llamas and alpacas. It was such a treat and I was able to data enter while it was on my second screen. It make me want to travel again which is a plus.
I am very exhausted, hoping that I am not coming down with anything. I have a constant mild headache and my eyes feel hazy. Need to get some good sleep this weekend.
I was on my schedule again this morning but really dragging my butt. It was a productive day and at one point I realized I HAD to get my nails done. I called, expecting a long wait but was told I could come right then so I dropped the belt and headed over. It felt so good to get my favourite finish done again. I stopped at Bootlegger on the way out of the mall and hit a great clearance of clothes close to the size I am now. 4 shirts, 2 tanks and a dress for $81 was a great deal. All of that in an hour and back at the books. The janitor was sweet and carried my Good Food order out to my car. I dropped it off at home before heading to Key City to bartend for Bromance. I may have over committed as I was edgy and tired. Sometimes I wish when people say I can handle it they would leave me alone to do that. I can easily be friendly and good as a server but it is hard to not be snippish with a person who is getting in the way more than they are helping. Some of the joy of being in that space is disappearing. I will write it off to healing and keep being there when they need me. I did get to sit in for part of the show and it was entertaining. A group of three guys doing circus, acrobatic type acts. The audience laughed and cheered a great deal.
Up and on the treadmill, getting the steps in was a good start to a very full day. I was at the office at a decent time, got much done from the list and was treated to a lovely chocolate cake by others in the office. No such thing as too late cake!
I had planned to work until I was ahead of things when I was reminded it was 420 and my client in Kimberley was having a celebration and had invited me to attend. I saw on facebook that another friend was supplying the tunes and suddenly just realized it was time to drop the tool belt again. I headed off to Kimberley around 330 and had a lovely visit with the staff and others at the event, picked up a few gummies for the weekend and then decided to head to my cousin Jeanne’s to drop off the soup container she had brought me while I was recovering. It turned out her son Mark was there visiting with his partner Elaine and his daughter Sarah. I haven’t seen him for a real visit in at least 15 years we figured out and it was wonderful. Uncle Lawrence came and we all had a lovely dinner together. Christine showed up with Caillie and Riley (I may have spelt those wrong) and then Brian showed up a while later. It was so good for my soul to visit with them all. Getting to know Sarah was the best. She has been accepted into U of Lethbridge in the fall for their technical theatre program so we connected on that level and I am so excited for her. I finally had to head home and there were so many good hugs that I left with my tank filled. I stopped at cousin Donna’s on the way home to drop off her containers and had a short but lovely visit.
This new lease on life has me really working at balance and connection. We all suffered through the separation of the last two years and it makes these moments even more special.
I did stop and pick up my framed prints and can’t wait to hang them in my office, they turned out so perfect. yes, I am a nerd…
It was funny to hear people worrying about their gardens freezing. Clearly new locals or they would know you don’t plant until the snow is gone off the ski hill!
What a wonderful day of gifts to open and wonderful messages to read. Facebook is amazing for birthdays, especially the memories people share. It’s like a Flash back to all the weights and hairstyles and events over the years. So many great photos with friends, it made me smile all day long as I was able to check in. Rae-Anne picked me up to go to Mr Mike’s for dinner before my Board Meeting. Once again a lot was discussed and accomplished and afterward, thanks to Steve, there was a delicious Coffee Crisp cake. I am feeling like I had a large turkey dinner at the moment though!!
I feel great for this age and stage, there is no limit to what I can still do and how many adventures there still are in this life. After last month’s scare it is even more sweet to embrace this last year of my 50s and do those things that bring joy to myself and to others. I shall sleep peacefully this evening embraced in the knowledge that I am loved by many.
This is the day I traditionally have thought of as my New Years Eve. It is the night I think about all the things I want to hold on to and what I want to let go of. I began by setting my alarm and getting on the treadmill, beginning the habits I had before getting the news on March 9th. I was at the office at a regular time and enjoyed the peacefulness of everyone else in my end of the building being off. I worked my tushka off and came home at a decent time when my brain had had enough. I puzzled a bit, made a nice meal and settled to watch my shows. I had to reschedule my tattoo tomorrow as her kids aren’t feeling well. I was grateful to find she had an opening on my cousin Debbi’s birthday on the 30th as it is a them matching memorial to her sister I am getting. It was first scheduled for her sister’s birthday, and then mine.. now we will try hers, lol. Short story is I will hold on to the things that brought me joy and boot the rest to the far side.
18 years ago I learned a valuable lesson that I have to keep reminding myself of. It was a lovely March day in 2004 and I got a call from my Dad who said, “I have a back seat that would look great with your face in it”. I was a contractor then and three of us were busy stripping a big concrete pour but for the first time ever, in the middle of the day, I simply dropped my tool belt and said, ‘See you later guys”. I then had one of my best days ever, flying in my Dad’s Birddog, watching the herring fleet from above, including some of the skiffs he had built and never seen in action. It was a strong bonding time for us and I will never forget the experience. It was to be our last flight together as less than 8 weeks later he crashed and died.
Today, the kids and grands are going to see Sonic 2 just after noon and I begged off when asked yesterday as I had planned to go in to the office. I came home late last night and watched the first movie to be ready and am now about to get ready to go pick some of them up and go. I had to remind myself that work will never be more important than family, that today is a day to drop the tool belt.
To be continued….
It is now nearly 12 hours later and I have had a busy time with the kids. We did go to the movie and it was good. There were a few not so great frames but overall well done and it was funny to see Hornby Street in Vancouver masquerading as Seattle. I had a good laugh when I sat down in the stall in the ladies loo, there was a love note to Will. He was not that impressed. When we came out it snowed sideways for a short time. I dropped everyone off and went to work where I tried to get my volunteer work out of the way for the month as I have too much work on my plate still. I also did some T1 work and then headed to Rae and Rogers for dinner. Roger had made amazing lasagnas and we all kicked in garlic bread and salad etc. Was nice to have a family dinner again before Emmy left to go home and Jake will leave with Dani in the morning before I see them again. We had fun with rummy cube and good talk.
I came home, folded laundry and have been watching season 3 of Snowpiercer since. I had best go to bed as I plan to get up at regular time and get on the treadmill again tomorrow. I am creeping back up weight wise and need to get on top of it again!!!
I did go to work for a little bit today but really the highlight was the fun we all had on our traditional Easter Treat Hunt. There were 21 of us all together. We all brought things and put peoples names on them and then took turns hiding each other’s items around the yard and marking them on the map. Once everyone was done hiding we were given our maps and send out to find. It was a great deal of fun and then we had a fantastic meal together before heading back to Ashlée’s to visit with Jake and Dani and play Tetris attack. Everyone was worn out and I was home by 10. I am now watching Sonic to see if I want to join them all at the movies for Sonic 2 tomorrow afternoon. I am enjoying it so far so likely will.
I made a vegetarian dish for the 4 who don’t eat meat by substituting boiled egg for the bacon in the recipe.
Rae spoiled me with a new diamond painting and everyone blessed me with treats. The beer sucker from Mexico was delicious.
The sad news tonight was to learn of the passing of Bill Bourne. I have enjoyed his music at VIMF over the years and shared my cart with him on a few occasions. I knew him to be quiet and kind. It is a big loss. Stupid cancer.
I seemed to be glued to the spot, paralyzed by lists. There was much to do but I hadn’t even loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen this week. It’s the result of news, bad or good, huge emotional hits take a toll and I have to allow my brain to heal as much as my body. I have to remind myself to be happy that I don’t have Cancer and that April will soon be over. I do hate wishing Easter and my birthday away. I finally got organized and cleaned and made a list. I decided I had best head to Walmart and get Easter supplies and groceries. I actually enjoyed wandering around and picking up toys and treats for the 19 other people that will be at the hunt tomorrow. Seems the ritual is back in full force. Stopped at the cannabis store to pick up a bath bomb for tonight. The one they had is Chocolate hash berry. Got home and it was warm and nice out compared to the overnight temps. Tracy and I went for a walk up the block and then I came home and labeled all the gifts and got organized. I was making air fried fries and a batch of gravy to enjoy with the cheese curds I’d bought for a nummy poutine dinner when Jake and his girlfriend, Daniella arrived for a quick pop in before getting Emmy. Dani seems very easy going and I always appreciate a person who looks me in the eye and smiles easily. They had to rush off but I look forward to spending more time with them tomorrow. I have been watching my PVR collection of this seasons SNL episodes. Now, it is time to run that tub and ease the aches and pains. Tomorrow will be for work and lists again until we all get together. I am looking forward to it!
I think I got a lot done today… it was busy anyway and all mid-month deadlines were met. I was at the Drs for noon and he took out the stitches and said I am good to go. I can walk on the treadmill, not run, move around, not exercise and don’t lift still for another 2 weeks. He noted my concerns about the temperature swings and sleep issues and was going to send a letter to the clinic in case it isn’t just a stage of healing and passes. After the long day yesterday I had to take it easier today but did go for a long walk in the beautiful sun with my neighbour when I got home. As we were near the utility shed in our park, she stopped to read the bulletin and I saw a note from a guy saying he had found keys! Can’t remember exactly when it was but over a month and a half ago when I walked on the snow and ice to our community mailbox two trailers over. The next morning when I went to open my office I realized they were gone. For days and days I ripped everything apart and regularly retraced my steps as the melt happened. I even messaged the strata secretary in case anyone turned them in. By now I have a new fob for the client’s bank and a rekeyed mail box but I got my Chewiee back!!! The man who’s name I awkwardly didn’t ask said he had no idea where they came from when he noticed his kids playing with them. Seems they had found them and not told him but I am glad he did the right thing. It also makes me feel better as I have never before completely lost a set of keys and this concerned me. I can still say I haven’t, lol
triumphgal 