I met with Rae today to discuss an upcoming fraud case that we may both be called upon to comment on. We can’t talk about it but I am grateful that I can talk to her.
I did move mountains today, working right up to our 7 pm Gala planning meeting. I had tested my idea for an edible glitter drink and it was very well received.
The internet was still a bit sketchy today which I will have to report. I suppose my option is to work from home but I would miss my two big screens.
I stopped for wing night and a visit with Chris. He’s a good lad.
Today was beyond frustrating as I struggled with my computer. I chatted with Intuit and called the office IT guy. I did get as much as I could done and then headed to F&B for dinner. I had a nice visit with Bejea and a delicious order of steamed mussels followed by ice cream and crème de menthe at home.
I was grateful that Rae-Anne took my Mom for her bloodwork today. It allowed me to get further ahead. I left earlier than I’d have like in order to get to the Key City Theatre volunteer winter dinner. I did have a nice time visiting with Daryl and Marianne, and Tony. Ali Joe Crow played after the potluck dinner and then we all waddled home.
I spent the whole day sorting through photos and backing up digital ones as well as uploading CDs into my iTunes. I did take breaks to deal with laundry and make mini cupcakes for tomorrow’s volunteer potluck dinner.
I spent the better part of the day converting my Seattle photo Works photos off of discs from the late 90s early 2000s into JPEG’s on my laptop it was a bit of an emotional trip down memory lane as so many people in the photos are now gone after that I got myself ready and headed to the Rotary UnChristmas party at Colombo Hall I had prepared a three round trivia and everyone seemed to have fun the spaghetti dinner was lovely and I came in second in the pool tournament. It really was just a lovely evening of like-minded people hanging out together 
Was happy to open a lovely Christmas card from a couple of my favourite Texans. Also got a message from Kathy about a next cruise together. I promised to look into it once I got through this month
I liked my Audible stats for the year considering I feel like I didn’t listen enough and definitely didn’t read enough ‘real’ books. All of those 22 titles were autobiographies read by the authors. I feel there must be some facts at least in their memories.
Rotary lunch was lovely as paws therapeutic dogs were in the house. Mike did a great job explaining what they are about and then the dogs wandered around and visited with everyone.
I finished the last of my clients T4‘s today and some others which puts me ahead of schedule and feels good.
I left work around six and headed to Encore for trivia night. Brett showed up and brought his friend Ryan and we were the team named. ‘We Thought it was Cash Cab!’ that got a good laugh. Once again, we were tied for first at the end of the first round and ended up in third. The team that we are competing the most with is very good on the music round which always kicks our butts as we need a country person.
I was very surprised and nervous to get a text from Rae-Anne that she wanted to go for a drink. I of course assumed there was some news or issue to deal with, but really it was just for fun. I’m glad because I sure enjoyed our time together in November and I hope we can do more of these one on one visits. We mostly talked about the upcoming trip that she and Roger hope to take to Italy and beyond.
Once again, I am unnerved by the lack of Winter. I keep expecting my bulbs to start popping up, but then again I hope they don’t or we will get a deep freeze.
It’s funny how much Missy loves my new carpet. She rolls around on it and stretches. I admit that I want to do the same thing. It feels so wonderful.
The temperate climate is so strange for this time of year. I’m reminded of the coast. I went to help Mom with the bandage on her leg but she’d already managed it. Next was Rotary board meeting and a delicious lunch at Heidout. Back to the office and a 5 hour GST fix for a client. Glad to get that one off my list.
I am very much enjoying watching Love on the Spectrum. Much more uplifting than the 90 Day world.
It’s so strange how little snow there is for this time of year.
I picked up Mom and brought her to her Drs appointment. She has a nasty spot in her leg that he took off for a biopsy. It went well and she bought us drive thru Dairy Queen. My guts did not love that.
While I was with her we talked about the fact that growing up our family Dr was a black man. Dr Rivers was kind and it is only in hindsight that I marvel that we had a black Dr in the 60s.
I received a call that my Turkish rug was to be delivered later in the afternoon. I got a text when they were half an hour out and went home to clear the Lego, vacuum and move the current rug. The guys who delivered were so sweet and said they didn’t have another like mine in the truck, that this pattern was usually reserved for Angora rugs. Mine is silk, bamboo and cotton and feels like a dream. I was worried about tariffs and duty but they brought mine in with rugs for a show in Toronto so it didn’t cost me anything else. I love it so much.
I popped back to the office for a bit before heading to Mr Mikes to have dinner and celebrate Donna’s belated birthday. She’d been lost in the wait at her sister’s bedside. I was blessed to be at dinner with Jeanne’s sister Rosie, sister Donna and husband Hogie (Erik), and brother Dan with his wife Terry. We had a lovely visit. Cousins are so special
At 7:30 I had a haircut appointment with Karissa. I always enjoy visiting her and she cut a lot off. I feel so fresh!
I woke up just after 6 so I got up and went on the treadmill for half an hour before making some toast and coffee and getting on with my day. I ended up putting in over 9 billable hours, even completing 75% of my T4s!
I was home just after 8 and made dinner, watched some shows and am going to tuck in. January can be a lot.
I was able to man a door where I could see the show more clearly and it did add to my appreciation of the performances, but did not endear the storyline to me any further than yesterday’s show. It did me good to interact with audience members and other volunteers. I came home to make some dinner and watch the Golden Globes while I searched some projects online. The GGs were not that interesting. Am I getting jaded?
I tidied up, built Clippy which I received from Rae at Christmas, made an ill fated attempt to put on false eyelashes and then got ready to go. Will had been skating at Elizabeth Lake and I gave him a red de hone on the way to the office. I spent sone time there reviewing my Viatour excursions and others. I also looked at the trip options Rae and Roger have for May.
I headed to Key City to volunteer for Oliver. I worked Door 6 and sold 50/50. At first I was struggling to be social as I had been mostly alone in my head today. It turns out that it was the best thing for me to do. The show was very long. I am also working the matinee tomorrow. I will be at Door 4 which will give me a better view. There are two girls who take turns as Oliver. Tonight’s was amazing. Tomorrow is Marnie!
I’m trying to be conscious that I am allowed to feel the way I feel. Grief and loss touch me in different ways. I have to be conscious that my resting bitch face is there not as any sign of stress or anger, but just a general sadness or malaise. I reached out to Donna and Rosie today to ask what I could do and they each agreed it would be wonderful if I would start things rolling at the open mic during Jeanne’s celebration of life. of course that got my mind stuttering in the background, running memories like an old movie reel as I continue to work.
I thought going to poker tonight would be fun and it was. It was nice to see a new face and some familiar ones around the table. I had stopped at Finn and Baker to pick up some nachos to bring to find out that three of the people that I usually visit with there won’t be in their usual spots. Michelle was fired and Bob and Bejea have quit drinking. These are all good reasons. I did end up having a nice visit with Chris who is usually on the other side of the bar. It is so sweet to hear him talk about his dog, a 13-year-old lab.
I think I was the third one out at Poker, which is OK because I didn’t spend a lot of money and I had a nice time and I didn’t drink while I was there and now I am cuddled up in my chair to watch a show before heading to bed, a nice Friday night
Ben gave an awesome bio presentation at Rotary today. I love hearing the history of people from their own point of view. It is always interesting too see what is important to them that they want to share. It was ordered in pizza day because the head chef at the Heritage restaurant his wife and their daughter were in a horrific accident all three needing extensive surgeries. A fundraiser was put into place by top crop garden supply and as of this evening it looks like it is already at over $110,000.!
This afternoon Keri and I took down the Christmas tree outside our offices
I received a parcel from gourmet gifts and was very surprised that it was a thank you from Rob and Ajada for helping them to catch up on their personal taxes.
I headed to encore for friends with benefits night and had some nice visits with those who showed up and a delicious bowl of bean and bacon soup
Brett and JD showed up for a trivia night. We were called triple threat, and at the end of the third round we were tied for first place. We did not do well on the music category nor the sports category and ended up in third place. It was fun.
After work I met with the early committee to plan the Rotary Gala in April. Mary Ann, Laura and Nadine came to GroundFloor and Mary Ann cast her Pinterest from her iPad to the big TV. We put a good plan together towards the vision. I like working with them. our theme is Through the Looking Glaas
I am tired likely due to still feeling like my lungs are full. This has been a long stretch of not feeling 100%
I made two appointments this morning when I woke up. First was nails at noon. Minh is my best therapy. He even gave me a sweet token to bring home.
I got a fair amount of work done and then had my second appointment at 5 with Melissa. She gives the best pedicures and foot/leg massages. I was very relaxed when it was done.
I drove through A&W for my go to fast food, a teen burger with diet root beer and onion rings. I don’t do it very often but it is a comfort food.
Once home I looked for a part Sawyer needed for his current Lego build and relaxed.
I laughed when I was asked by Brett if my frame was to scale and once measured, determined that they were. It just struck me as amazing considering that they are in centimetres and I ordered them out of the states. This is the cute ornament Kerstin brought me. Brett and Jill gave me the Lego happy plants that they did not know that I really wanted!
Rae-Anne came to drop off a new shoe calendar and I had a piece of Lego that Sawyer needed and a bag and box of Tassimo pods for Gene as my machine kept spewing grounds. After trying everything to remedy the situation, I finally got rid of it. I asked her if she could get some fruit and bring to her Granny. We ended up having a really deep amazing conversation about the principle of Relationship bullseye. I was very moved to know that she sees herself as number one in my bullseye. I did find this link about the concept. The discussion we were having was about how you can only look for support from someone further out from the centre in a crisis. As an example, if Rae’s best friend is in crisis, I can’t take my sad feelings to Rae, I can just support her through it and reach out in my ring or beyond to share my feelings. I don’t know if I am describing this very well but it makes so much sense
She hadn’t been gone long from my office when I got the text that Jeanne was gone. I didn’t have a rush of feelings. I finally cracked when I was hugged by Keri and then Ashley. I had to quickly compartmentalize as there was payroll to finish. I laughed when Ashley showed up with options to get me through.
After work I did stop at Fenwick and Baker and was relieved to only find Cody sitting at the bar. He, Chris the bartender, and I chatted for a couple hours while I had some dinner and it was good for my soul. Once home I made it through two old albums to find a few pics of Jeanne from back in 1983-84 when we were together most every day. I know I have many more pics but these are just a few. I am still processing that 11 months ago tomorrow my Jackie died from the same horrible disease, COPD. These were two very influential women in my life. I shall now use their memories as a backbone to continue not to smoke. My last one was Oct 15, 2025. I intend to do my best to keep it that way.
While I was going through my album I took the time to send these pics to my friends in them. The first is my friend Sandy (Roe) clipping Rae-Anne’s nails as it used to freak me out to do so. Her son Dustin was born 4 days before Rae and that is how we met, in the Kimberley hospital. We became fast friends. The second is of my school friend Julie very pregnant and dancing in heels at our friend Kris’s wedding. I love the joy in that pic.
Today we are sad for us, but glad her suffering is over. As Uncle Bryan said, now we learn how to live in a world without her. That is what grief is.
Today was spent the sitting in the knowledge that Jeanne please teaching not to have any more treatment but pain meds. Her family is all with her and keeping us apprised. so far, she must be hanging on
I watched a number of shows to keep my mind occupied as I did some chores and sorted more Lego. I’m actually glad to have that project right now it’s mindless, but also occupying.
Of all the things I watched today I think my favourite was the movie ‘Here’ with Tom Hanks. It’s a concept that I loved very much and enjoyed. I also binge the season of the Real Palm Beach or something like that. It was brain candy.
I guess I should go to bed soon as tomorrow will be a busy one at work and likely a hard one emotionally
I just realized that it is 1:10 AM and I have spent most of the day sorting Lego and watching new shows. I did stop to make food a couple of times and tidy up a few things but mostly that is what I have done.
I also followed along with the text from Jeanne’s two sisters Rosie and Donna as today has been a rough day. God bless Donna and I sharing a very similar sense of humour when she remarked that it was Jeanne trying to get revenge on her for Donna getting married on Jeanne’s 21st birthday.
That’s what we do. We laugh through the pain as it’s cathartic and binding.
There’s still a big part of me that wishes someone would just tell her that it’s OK and it’s time to go. This is hard on everyone.
triumphgal 