I really am enjoying starting my day in the hot tub. I really enjoy that every afternoon Keri brings me a coffee to perk me up. Just a regular black Keurig coffee can work wonders mid afternoon. I am enjoying a very cheesy series on Netflix called La Brea.
I did not get my taxes filed today as planned But I did have a decent visit with Mom and was able to get home by seven for dinner
Mrs B, as she shall always be to me or as to others, Donna, is in palliative care. I wish I were there to hold her hand and tell her to go.
I really really enjoyed doing the Rotary newsletter today as I used the Rotary software it wasn’t as bad as a learning curve as I expected, and I already know what I will do different and better next time 
I woke up early and sat in the hot tub with my coffee before showering and jumping on to my Zoom with the ABCs. It was a small group of the Keyes, Madison’s and Carol-Ann. We had a lovely catchup before we all had to take off for other things. I am concerned about C-A and her big weight loss. She did say she is getting tests.
I headed out in time to make the Rotary ParticipAction walk at Idlewild park but was met by two fire trucks who were heading into are park. I turned and followed them. I jumped out and introduced myself as the park strata president and they came out and assured me it was a false alarm. That of course made me late. I parked in the lower lot and was able to catch some nice pictures from the other side of the lake and then connect. There were 20 of us including kids, some of whom were from JCI. It was a perfectly lovely temp for a few lops of the lake.
I joined Ashley after for a visit to the thrift store where she found me a too big but functional pretty dress for only $4 on sale and I also goi d a new pair of Italian shoes for only $8
We left our cars and cut through the alleys to stop for ice cream at The chocolate shop as we wound our way to the park for the pride celebrations
I came home for a short break before putting on my new dress and heading for a visit with mom. I received a text from Greg that our Dad’s widow, Donna is likely experiencing congestive heart failure. I hear this is her end. Mom is very depressed and giving up. I found out she was so down they got a student nurse to sit and read to her. When I asked why she didn’t call me she said she couldn’t call me on Saturday. That was only one Saturday in May when I was working children’s festival and I have been with her every other day since May 3rd. Sigh. She is declining fast. This is her personality to do so though… I did arrange Rae to go be with her for dinner as I couldn’t stay
I cried my way to Kimberley where I arrived just in time for dinner and love with all her family as it was Barry’s 80th today. Chris and his daughter Charlotte, Mark& Elaine and his daughter Sara, Adrian’s partner, Danielle, Brian and Christine with Riley and Caleigh, Fonna and Hogey, Danny and Terry, family friends, Marty and Valerie, and Rosie were there. So many are struggling with things right now that it was good to be together as a family.
My day began at 7 with a coffee in the hot tub. It was lovely. My day pretty much ended with a couple hours with Mom in mostly misery. She is having a lot of negative feels. I had to assist her completely to get her to eat. She said she feels ignored in the hospital, that she is someone ugly and useless now. I finally told her that I wish she hadn’t been told her diagnosis as she is now leaning into it. I reminded her that she had a bath and a pretty good day and needed to think positive but that she is allowed the feels as long as she comes through them.
Started the day in the hot tub with a coffee. Glorious
Rotary lunch was interesting as the guest speaker was absolutely convinced that I had worked with her at Staples. There was no convincing her otherwise. She ran after me to show me a picture of me and I laughed as it was my friend, April. I don’t think we are remotely interchangeable except in the way that we are both unique in our style.
Nathan Liewen
I received a call from Dr White to say they do believe she has Parkinson’s. It has thrown them off as she doesn’t have resting tremors. They will start her in a drug that should treat the muscle tightness.
I arrived to see mom after work just as she was telling the nurse that she wasn’t hungry and didn’t want dinner. I told her that her illness was giving her brain bad or no messages and that she had to override it to do what her body needed. She is depressed today and I had to put food on her spoon and hand it to her to get her to eat. I spent a good deal of time and made sure that she was going to get a bath tomorrow as she has only had two since May 3rd.
From there I went to Encore to meet Mike and Jenny. We bought a booth to see The Hip Replacements. I wore my fedora with the feathers that Dave gave me last time they were in town. Rae joined us and we had a fun night. I loved when Dave leapt off the stage and danced with me 🙂
Arrived at work to this waiting outside my office door. Such a kindness from a dear friend
After a productive Rotary Board meeting over lunch, Ashley and I went thrifting at the Hospital Auxiliary shop. I found a fun capybara shaped drink holder with a straw for Kerstin and a half price dress option for Alexa’s wedding in the summer. $5!
I had a long visit with Mom after work. I am getting more and more disgusted with the state of the third floor. there is still garbage all over the floor in the room she shares, she was wearing the same food stained gown as yesterday and I had to ask to ensure she gets a bath soon as it has been over a week and a half. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I also have to mask up as there is a virus outbreak
It was an incredibly busy jump around between clients day
In the middle of it all, I got a call from the new nurse practitioner at the hospital who will be looking after Mom’s care. She had met with the doctor and she wanted to know more from me about background in my observances because they think that she has Parkinson’s. Due to my dramatic experience, looking after my grandfather when I was a teenager who at the time they thought had silicosis and Parkinson’s disease I blanked out many of the symptoms but it also makes sense why I have known for so long that something else was wrong. I also don’t feel bad for pushing her all these years that’s she’s been here as the best thing is to keep her body and mind active.
She has all these symptoms
Hard to know the onset, still some tests to confirm.
I had a good visit with Mom although I am concerned about two things
There is a sign that there is an outbreak on their floor and we should not visit if sick. I asked a nurse most of the way through my visit and she said it was a virus (can’t remember the name) and when I asked if I should mask she said it was a good idea that everyone who visits the third floor does.
There was also a random mention of Mom’s hernia. Thus is the first I hear of this and will have to follow up tomorrow. Mom can’t remember who told her that she has one.
Started the day with a Mom visit. She was much better having been put on opioids last night. I wanted to clear up her thoughts about the kids getting things. I was told I had to take the stairs back down and was surprised by the decor
Jake drove and we went to stadium for day 2 of swim meet. She did great
We got back to town and visited GG.
While dinner was being made I took Ash to Granny’s to pick out a few things. He made sure she has the picture of Granny diving
I also gave her and Rae each a set of emerald necklaces and earrings
I am grateful that the kids are getting their visit with her.
Mom called as she was having anxiety. I called Jake and asked him to go see her as I had a client arriving soon. He stayed until it was her mani-pedi time and then picked me up to go for lunch. We went to munch. It was delicious and I liked the vibe very much. We had a good visit and an amazingly loaded baked potato grilled cheese
He dropped me back at work and I got a lot done until I left early to visit Mom. She is a mess. Shaky, depressed, weak, all the negative things. I stayed quite a long time and then headed for family dinner. Roger made amazing chicken, rice and corn on the cob. Afterwards we three adults went down to Heidout for dessert and a drink.
Today I stopped and picked up Mom’s jewellery from Delmont. They didn’t charge me. He sorted it into two boxes one that is 10 karat gold/real emeralds and the other that is costume jewellery. Now don’t get me wrong, It’s some nice costume but it is good to know the difference for sure.
Breakfast
I got some work done and then went to Rotary lunch, which was our AGM for our two societies so not all that exciting but I did connect with two different guys to use their information and photos for the upcoming newsletter so that was a good thing. Judy has been putting us through our paces for the Cross Canada participAction challenge.
After getting a good deal of work done this afternoon, I went to visit Mom. She seems to be fading fast. There is only anxiety and pain in her manners and face. It has been over a month now and she should be pending upwards, not downwards. I fear the news of her cancer has made her give up on everything.
I’m at Jenny at Encore as Mike was busy with his dad. JD and then Brett showed up and we all played trivia the all music night as the team: 89s Music for 500, Alex
We had fun it was hard. We came in third with only 38 out of 60 points. That’s how tough it was. I do like hanging out with those guys though. I always feel better afterwards.
The bottom line is, if you are following the instincts, the universe is giving you when you must welcome the path the universe is putting you on.
It’s simple really. I was completely overwhelmed by my visit with Mom tonight. I arrive there as she was having some kind of reaction with very flushed cheeks said she was boiling hot and her hands were shaking, and she had a massive cramp in her thigh. She had pushed the button, but no one responded for a very long time. As it happens, the doctor came by and checked her out and they are going to watch her for fever because she has tenderness in her abdomen again and although she is on antibiotics for a UTI, it could be appendicitis flaring up again. It’s just me selfishly, saying at the moment that it is too hard to sit there and not be able to take any of this away for her. I helped her through getting her food cut up so that she could eat some of her dinner and she was unable to tell me the correct day her full, correct address or my birthdate. In all cases, it was close, but not close enough, and I fear for her baseline.
I laughed, heading home, feeling overwhelmed and sad, but my car automatically took me to wing night at F&B. Turns out that is exactly what the universe had in store for me. Two people that I knew were already sitting at the bar, and I met an amazing lady sitting beside me who was substantially older than me from whales, and she immediately sparked up a conversation about whiskey and Edinburgh. I enjoyed meeting Lynne. Bejea and Jake were equally supportive in the conversations that we had they didn’t all just dwell on my sad, but they lifted me out of it.
It’s hard because I shouldn’t be spending any money at all right now. I have lost too much wages with the time I’ve spent with mom‘s appointments in mind this past couple months. I have to realize, though that self-care comes in many forms and being there this evening getting many good hugs was exactly what the universe ordered.
I am watching The Great Flood. I need a real anxiety inducing crisis movie to push aside all the feels I picked up from Mom today.
I took Will to his dentist appointment and turned in all the expired medication’s from mom’s apartment to the Safeway pharmacy. After I dropped him at school, I went up to see Mom and make arrangements to see the transition nurse.
I was there for quite a while before Tanya came to see us. It was a tough visit. His mom was not responding a lot, and I didn’t want to respond for her to the important questions. When I asked how she was feeling, she just said up and down, and that I was more up and down. I finally let my shield down and felt her feelings and told Tanya that Mom was feeling fear and resolve. Tanya asked her if she wanted to go back home or felt she needed to go someplace where she could get more help and mom said she wanted to go someplace where she could get more help. At this point, I was overwhelmed by all the emotion that I have been protecting myself from and honestly, I’m still not back to myself.
We found out from Tanya that the hospital’s plan is to keep giving Mom therapy as she is on a short day list to be transferred when a space is available to the FW green home. That is where she got good Physio the first time this happened which I think was early 2022. Then they want her to go back to her home with some more home support and at that point, she will be evaluated to be put on a list for long-term care or they will continue to give her support as palliative care at home depending how quickly the cancer spreads. I am glad that we have started clearing her place out, but left the things that she needs on the daily. I will need to get her bed out of there as it is too high for her to get in and out of now. We finish the application for the palliative care, benefits, one plus side of the terminal cancer diagnosis is that there is a fund that will take care of any equipment, a hospital bed, special meds, etc.
Tanya did ask her if she wanted to spend her final days of her journey at home or in the hospital which I thought was a bit too soon to ask as we won’t even know where she will be by that point.
Yeah, so that was my day around the little bit of work I was able to fit in and the calls dealing with Strata things. I’m a little bit done. I’m going to watch this movie and enjoy an enhanced beverage and try to get a good deep sleep.
Today was a good start with Physio, followed by a good amount of work before going to visit Mom and then meeting the Guedes family at my mom’s apartment. The mission was to have the boys, especially pick out any of the kitchen where that could be used, and then we went through a bunch of other things. I loved that Gene was able to find pot and serving utensils and things that he could put to use as well as a beautiful teapot. Will was especially in Emirate of the old brown Betty teapot that didn’t look like it had been used at all. Lukas took CDs and the print of the map of New Zealand that she had framed on her wall. Sawyer found a couple more cats that he couldn’t live without and Rhiannon and Roger found some trinkets and things that meant a lot to them and that they could use. Nothing was of a lot of value, but it sure was going to be well used and saves me taking stuff to the thrift store. There is still much to go through.
When I visited her, I talked to her nurse, and I am to go just afternoon tomorrow to hopefully meet with the transition, nurse and make a plan. I am worried that they will suddenly decide that mom has to be out of her apartment and we are not ready for that hence the purging as we go at the moment. I brought home some random things in her liquor cabinet, her coin collections to go through. These notepads made me laugh so you know they’re going to the office with me.
I had some leftovers with Rae-Anne and Roger back at their placeand we shared a bottle of the wine that was found in a cupboard it was OK can’t say that aged perfectly but then I’m not a big Merlot fan. Roger and I also had our meeting of the double D club.(Dead Dad) as it would’ve been his dad, Ryon’s, birthday today. A dram was toasted in our dad’s names.
This was one of the sweet finds of the day in Mom’s sewing kit, which I was very pleased William wanted
Sawyer had a very detailed project to do for school. With his great memory for details and what info we had online I oversaw him creating it. I actually did very little as he had a great vision. mostly I assisted by getting him to do a test layout first.
We played a bit of Little Big Planet 3 and he helped me put up a shelf in my room before dropping him at home
I did go visit Mom and left a bit overwhelmed. They think she may have a UTI again. I left with a note of something to give to Benson, her youngest great grandchild.
I was hungry and had a coupon for Dominoes pizza. I now have lunch and dinner for tomorrow as well.
I had a couple good conversations with Rae-Anne today. She made a good point, that I am feeling like an orphan, forgetting that for most of my life I had a Mom. These last 5 years have been hard on my feels….
Imagine when I woke at 8:15 or so to find that Sawyer had already gone out and filled a garden bag with the storm windfall branches from the willow. He said he’d been awake thinking about GG so tried to keep himself busy. Not your average 11 year old.
We watched Lukas playing in the BCSS AA Rugby Championships. They won and came in 7th overall which is great for our small city
We did go out and he helped while I mowed to beat the rain. We took the recycling and stopped for lunch at DQ. It’s one of the few spots we can eat together for under $20. We stopped and picked up distilled water and dropped things off before taking him to his swimming lesson. I ran off to see Ireland for pits and brows and a good catch up.
Once I picked him back up we went up to visit GG and he asked if we could go to her apartment and pick out a cat figure to keep. She said of course. We chatted with Gwen in the hall and I mentioned he was the youngest of four brothers. She said he must get away with everything. He said that actually wasn’t true, that Gene was everything and he bullied Lukas, Lukas bullied Will and Will bullied him.
We went to Moms and he picked out three cats and helped me clean out the fridge and take out the garbage.
We dropped a bag of fruit and unopened jars of items to his house and brought home plants and the popcorn bowl to mine.
I made us dinner and then we went for a soak, took showers and watched Project Adam.
It is important to Mom that I find a good home for her tea set
At midnight I was moved to check out the noise outside
The aftermath was big this morning. I tidiest up what I could before climbing into the tub
I was nose down at work and was grateful when Kerstin and Brooklyn also wanted to get take away. Sushi for the win!!
I finally got everything done that was necessary and headed to see Mom. Her Dr had called to say she was applying for Palliative Care funding that would assist with hospices rental, etc.
That was the moment I accepted the phrase ‘terminal cancer’
Mom is very sad today
I met Greg at Heidout and handed over the necklace of Mons that she thought he wanted, the nugget. I told him to give it to Kym. It seemed important to Mom that he have it.
Bill and his friend Elmer joined us and we had a good visit, even inviting Will out of the kitchen to say hi.
Elmer drove us safely to Rae’s for an amazing dinner. she then drove us to drop off Greg, grabbed my car which River drove and then dropped off Sawyer and me and picked up all the Lego.
Sawyer has a school project we will work on but tonight we played some Little Big Planet and off he went to bed while I watched a couple episodes of season two of Four Seasons.
Rotary lunch was fun as Rylan gave his bio and it turns out he mentioned a well loved Homestay student whom he played ball with, Tatsuki. Tatsuki and Mai helped me at my place when I moved back to Cranbrook.
I helped Mary Ann access our storage as there is a heavy door that she struggles with and we were looking for a couple missing rented items. It was a nice little visit.
Once I finished and filed a client, I headed over to the Sam Steele Hotel. My new friend Tammy owns it. She inherited it when her brother died and she is interested in becoming a Rotarian. I am working towards that with her. At the moment, the concern is that HA hangs there when in town. Some feel it could risk our Gaming licence if she is a member. I am doing my due diligence. We shall see. I’m n the mean time it was a nice place to hang out. I’m peaceful and not overstimulating.
I went to visit Mom and Greg had arrived. I drove him to check in to his hotel and then we went the Heidout for dinner. What a great visit we had and we discussed all the things. It was so great. I miss him so much. We spent so much bonding time over the years as adults.
I did get my plaque back, spelled correctly, today
It has been another complicated strata council day but I am stepping out for a moment. Did I mention that the sky is gorgeous?
triumphgal 