How does one process new information about a relative they adored over 25 years after they died? The last couple months have brought out a lot of information to process as Mom seems to have lost her filter. Today I messaged with a cousin and something came up that I had not heard before. We had a long talk about generational trauma and there was so much information that it was almost too much to process. I had a small conversation with Mom about it when I visited with her for a couple hours. She confirmed and told her own experience. I knew we had big issues in our family that were all swept under the carpet. The outside world thought we were such a perfect family but the generation of me and my cousins have been dealing with the fallout our whole lives and we are all virtually strangers because of it. We could have been so much support to each other if we had only known it was safe to talk about it. The main thing I remember is being taught not to talk about things. It is likely one of the reasons I have trouble breathing and lose my voice with stress. It is also really important if I feel heard when I speak my truth. I know that is a basic need for anyone but it comes from a deeper place in this case.
Rae-Anne visited with mom this morning and the Dr was there to let us know that she is being treated as if she has Grave’s disease. When I was there I really noticed the mental deficiencies getting worse. I have been told to find her a Dr as she needs to been seen twice a week ongoing. We are still waiting for the MRI.
I came home and made dinner and am trying to find peace as all that is processing through my psyche right now. Don’t want to undo all those years of therapy!
Last night after I finished blogging I saw there was a voicemail on my phone and it turned out that the call from a person I didn’t know just as the game was starting was from the woman in the bed next to me telling me my Mom needed me to call. As it was now well after midnight, I called the nursing station and they brought her the cordless phone. She said she had had an anxiety attack and needed to talk to me and could I come in the morning. I reminded her that I had the funeral of my friend Peter in the morning and would come afterwards and that she needed to call from her phone so I would know to answer. I talked it out with a friend who was still up and finally managed to get to sleep around 2 am. The alarm was not my friend when it went off to start the day. I texted Donna and she got herself ready and hurried there to visit. Mom was very glad to see her. I went to the service which is in the temporary location of the Martial Arts building as the church is under renovation. I was not at all prepared for the length and liturgy of an Orthodox service and was stunned to walk in to see the open casket. I was just early enough to find a spot to sit and looked over to see Elias, Peter’s son sitting alone. He turns 5 next week and my Nana vibes kicked in. He found everything too loud and emotional, the incense was overpowering in the small space and he was hungry. I tended to him over the next two hours, taking him for walks a couple times and having good little conversations. He seemed relatively uninterested that his Dad is gone, said he was a little mean and that he was mostly upset as his mom is angry and cries. I am sure in the end Peter struggled to be kind as the Cancer took it’s toll. Poor little guy. Fortunately his little brother Zeus slept through most of it. I found the service to be overwhelming and mostly just wanted to escape. When I went through the receiving line dear Rasel, the young grieving widow held on to our hug like she didn’t know how to let go. How sad for her to be so far away from her family (I think in the Philippines) and alone with two wee sons.
From there I went to see Mom for a couple hours and then did some shopping to pick up things I needed. I noticed people looking at me sadly and realized I was moving like a zombie through my tasks. Mom is definitely struggling mentally and as this is day 9 I am beginning to as well. She refused Medicine for her Thyroid in the night because she hadn’t heard of it before. I talked with her about accepting all the meds and help to get her on the road to recovery and then we went through her phone messages and had her call a few people to catch them up. I had to keep assisting her to get the details right. Still no MRI, so still not walking.
I came home to make food and found that one of the meals I had received was Greek-Style shrimp. That seemed perfect to remember the man who ran the Greek restaurant here and was a good client and friend to me the last 5 or 6 years.
Another sad part of the day was finding that Matthew the Magnificent is dead. I am convinced it is due to Missy drinking out of the fish bowl, a bad recent habit that I have not been able to solve. For now I will not replace him.
RIP Matthew
I have been resting on the couch between chores and ordered a desk on sale from Wayfair which will allow me to set up a proper workspace so I can work from home when needed.
I am exhausted. Tomorrow I have booked absolutely nothing and told Mom she can call me but that I may not be up. Rae-Anne has offered to go see her and I think that would be best.
I tossed and turned most of the night and finally got up at 6:15. I was just about ready to leave for work when I got a text. It was from Danika’s number and I figured Gwen had gotten hold of her phone so I replied and then FaceTimed with her. Gwen was so smiley and happy that it was me. What a great little bonus granddaughter that she made my day.
I managed to get a great deal accomplished at the office and then left early to go to Mom’s apartment to clean out the fridge and get her mail. Next I went to pick up my two new pair of readers at the optometrist, one of which, the ones I need to read in bed, gave me double vision. They said they would try to find a solution and call me. From there I headed to the hospital to visit Mom who I found sitting on the side of her bed looking unhappy. Seems she was waiting for the nurse, thinking she needed to be cleaned up, but he already had taken care of her. She has been unable to remember some simple things and it is unnerving. Still waiting on more test results unfortunately. We did play a game of crib and it was pretty close but I won. She would play an 8 but say 7, It was awkward.
I came home and cut up all the apples she had to take them as my appy to poker night. It was a good night for me and at the break at 10 I had big stack, the biggest they have seen they said, although I am not sure of that. Unfortunately by 11:30 I was fading fast and went all in to go home. I was the 4th remaining which is the best I have done and I got so many bounty chips from taking others out that when I cashed them in it covered what I had paid to play so a great outcome all round. The cards had been crap after the break and even though I folded often, the blinds ate up my stack quickly. I did stay in longer than several people who are at the top of the league so that was awesome.
Earlier today when I came home I found some friends hanging in our park.
I am extremely tired and have a funeral tomorrow, so off to bed I go.
This morning I received the news from a friend that my friend had died on Monday. Peter began as a client and over time we became friends and it set me to weeping as when I saw him last, near the end of January, I knew it would likely be the last time. He had shared that he quit smoking 27 years ago but had lung cancer that was very far advanced by the time they found it. My heart hurts for his young wife and son and his older sons from his previous relationship. He was a fixture here in town and will be missed. But, the day had to go on, so I went to the office, stuffed back the feels and got things done. We celebrated dear Nikki who turns 30 next week but many are taking spring break off with their kids, so today was the day. She is such a breath of fresh air in my life and it was easy to celebrate her. She made me laugh when she put on her rain cap they gave her, to protect her Hairdo.
I got all the payroll and must do items off my list and headed up early to see mom as I had missed seeing her yesterday. I requested to see the Dr in charge of her right now for an update and am very impressed with Dr. Jensen. She told us that she felt too many things were left hanging and that she had reached out to specialists to ensure she knew a care plan once results come in as the weekend is near. Unfortunately they only do one inpatient MRI per day and that is the test she needs the most to see what is happening with her spine. She is in queue. They found lumps on her Thyroid and are waiting for a specific test result to see if it is Grave’s disease and then can make a plan for treatment. I was glad to hear they also did a cognitive test and do see deficiencies which I have been trying to point out without being unkind. While I was there Bill showed up with Lukas for a visit and that made Mom happy. I really appreciate what Bill and Deanne are doing to bring the boys as they brought Sawyer and Will yesterday. Cousin Donna has been coming regularly and it is keeping Mom’s spirits up. Bless her. While I was there I received a message from a client that they were to have a BC Liquour Control audit tomorrow on their Brewery and needed reports on what they had spent on external liquor since 01-01-22 to date. I left and went back to the office to finish entering all their info and finished around 8:30. They are very grateful. Good thing I love most of my clients and am willing to go out of my way for them. I mean, I charge them, but still, most firms won’t even answer a call for something like that. Once I was done, I reached out to Rae-Anne while I was warming up my car and she was at Fire Hall for something to eat so I met her there and had a strange but interesting visit with the people she was sitting with. Rob was generous and friendly but very… ‘old school’ in many ways, like how he spoke to the server like she was his personal ‘gal’. Some days hold so much ‘stuff’ I wonder how I get through them, but in many ways, it is just one foot in front of the other, let the tears fall if they need to and press on. Tomorrow will bring it’s own joys and sorrows. It was also my friend from the ABC groups 70th birthday and it blows me away that I have known him a decade, meaning he did the Inca Trail at my age. Life goals right there.
Lukas loved the wheelchair and wished he could get hurt just enough to need one for a short time. I warned him to be careful what he wishes for.
After all our good conversation last night, Cassidy and I managed to get up and on our way at a decent time. I decided to take my friend’s comment about it being me, then family, then work for priorities to heart and went for a tour of Encore with Rae-Anne, Greg and Cass before we met Bill and Deanne, followed by Ashlée, at Denny’s before G&C headed off. I do wish we all lived closer but it was a good visit. I left for work after giving puzzles to Cass to give to my friend Barb on Salt Spring. I had a mini melt down at work when I mentioned to a worker that they were especially loud today and I was really having trouble concentrating and they got all offended. I spoke to my main client in that space and said I am going to arrange working from home and possibly only going in on Tuesday’s and Thursdays. I have to find a good desk for home to set up and make that happen. He said he would definitely work with that and completely understood. I left mid afternoon to go to a client and raced away to drive Jesse to cover my shifts and then returned to finally finish their file at 9 or so. Thankfully Darcy is awesome to work for and is glad she has her Marnée. I didn’t make it to see Mom today but know she had lots of visitors so I will check in with her tomorrow.
Today was the day that the video was released for the Cox and McRae song that I love the most off their album and was able to contribute to. Please enjoy!! It is a wonderful tribute and I am happy my friend Matt Steffich was able to be included.
Today was simply lovely. I got up and ready this morning and then woke up Cassidy to get ready so we could head to Bill and Deanne’s. After a delicious breakfast and great visit, I headed off to work. It was probably 11 before I got really focused but it was worth it and I powered through a lot before heading off to a client for 3 hours. Next was meeting everyone at Arby’s for a meal and pictures and another great visit. From there the grownups went to the Fire Hall for beverages and some fun sharing of old pics and stories. I came home and Cassidy got her truck, a Dodge Ram, love that girl, and came over. We sat and drank a little wine and had a very good visit. She learned a few historical items that she didn’t know about her Auntie and I caught up on all the siblings info.
Mom is doing the same, awaiting her MRI and not being released for a while. I will pop up and see her tomorrow evening now that I have managed to get my shift covered at Arby’s.
Gene also finally gave me the pics from my Strike at Encore
Today was a lot of catch up, 136 email not counting spam to peruse and a bunch of work to get done before heading off to the client I pushed off on Friday. I finished there just before 7:30 and headed to see Mom. She was moaning and moving around so I stayed and visited, talking about the 70s and my interpretation of the strange life I was brought up in. She agreed that she was a total prude and Dad was an exhibitionist who didn’t really like wearing clothes or at least liked the feel of the air on his body. That made for a very strict and immoderate upbringing in the 70s, confusing in many ways to a kid. We laughed and shared our remembrance of different events, interested at the perspective. It seems to calm her to laugh and talk and she was able to ride it out until Greg and Cassidy arrived around 945. We all had a good visit and then the three of us grabbed fast food as we were starving, me after a long day of work and them after driving up from Salt Spring Island. Apparently there were some interesting weather related moments driving and the fog and snow were challenging a few times but they made it here safe. Greg is staying at Bill and Deanne’s and Cassidy is with me. I am very surprised that Missy seems cool with her, but then again she is special this niece of mine.
Woke earlier than I wanted to what with the time change and all but decided I should go see Mom. She looked a lot better today and had had a bath and her hair washed. Still not able to stand up unassisted but less pain than previously. Had a good visit and then Bill and Deanne came for a turn, followed by Donna. Donna also dropped me off some potato soup that was delicious. Dr. Nishi came while I was there and said the CT showed her the best looking brain she had seen in a long time but also found a lump in one of her parotid glands which they want to ultrasound and potentially biopsy although she is not worried about cancer. As they can’t get her partial denture out yet, they will likely do a body only MRI to find out why the mobility issues. I taught her how to answer a FaceTime so the kids and grandkids can connect with her. I started watching Daisy Jones and the Six while I waited for the Oscars. Mark recommended it and he was right, totally my kind of show. I also enjoyed the Oscars and got 11 of 23 guessed correctly.
I didn’t sleep as well as I hoped but once I was up and relaxing I started to feel a bit better. It helped that Mom’s cousin Donna went to visit her this morning and reported back that she seemed to be doing well. I took time for me to rest and watch Women Talking which was some powerful and then to start Triangle of Sadness which I will finish tonight. I did make sure to eat a nice Cobb Salad and fill my tank. I got ready to volunteer at Key City tonight, picked up my consignment earnings from a pair of shoes I sold and then stopped to visit with Mom for a couple hours. I was pleased to find her up sitting in a chair and gleefully doing her exercises. I met her nurse for the next three days, Jesse and he was very thorough in getting me to fill in the blanks, promised to watch for her pain levels after dinner and even got the Dr to come talk to me. Dr. Nishi is a lovely human being. She assured me there are no issues with her heart and that they will still be doing an ultrasound of her Thyroid and getting an MRI done. The problem is that her bottom partial denture won’t come out although she had it out on Thursday night. She has to get it loose for the MRI or they will only be able to do a CT scan. Of course the MRI will show much more detail so I have mom constantly trying to get the denture out. Her spirits seemed much better and I hope her evening is going better. Now that I am home she is not answering her texts so I am hoping it is because she is sleeping.
I did finish a puzzle on Thursday night that was fun to do and will start one tonight that is only 500 pieces but may prove to be more challenging.
It was good for me to volunteer bartend the night, refilled my emotional tank a bit
My alarm went off at 8 and I noticed 20 minutes later that Mom had called at 3:38 am. The message was awful and I called her residence to find out she had been taken by ambulance to the hospital. I threw on clothes and rushed there. It is now 10:30 pm and I have just come home. I couldn’t handle another minute watching her in pain. They are doing allllll the tests, no one seems to know what is going on for sure. The staff have been extraordinarily kind and loving. I left for two hours to take care of some things for her and then I have sat and stood by her bed, holding her hand, trying to calm her. I am nearly broken from taking it all and staying upbeat and loving as she deserves me to be. I promised to leave my ringer on so she can call if she needs to. There is nothing more I can do and I can’t get sick from losing a night. I didn’t eat properly or drink water today and must stay healthy so I can be there for her. Her cousin Donna is going to go in the morning and I am on the chart to be called if necessary.
Her day nurse was Ashlee spelled the same way as my daughter and her night nurse Arleigh asked if I was related to Donna Bellavance (my other step-mother). She had been Donna’s nurse for a year on Salt Spring Island, loves her and her sass and hopes she is doing well, What an incredible small world.
It snowed today. One of the chores was to take Mom’s car to Subaru and have it appraised for resale. My friend from poker league is the manager and Huy was very kind to let me know it was in our best interest to sell it privately as we would get more than double what he could offer. I love this small city I live in. My brother Greg is going to drive up on Monday and we will have to take care of some things and hopefully will have some answers.
Today was burger day for me in the middle of Burger Month in Cranbrook. For March, there are 16 restaurants all featuring an off the menu specialty burger and side for $20 with $5 of each one going to the Women’s Resource Centre. If you complete your card with 7 different ones you get a free beer at the end. It’s a win-win, good food and a good cause. I am not usually a burger person and a couple of them have had ingredients that give me indigestion, but still so worth trying them. Today I had lunch with a friend at the Fire Hall and had the Vagabond of Dinktown (Cranbrook’s nickname) and then a late dinner with Rae-Anne at Bayleaf Indian Fusion for the Butter Chicken Burger. I want everyone to try it, it was so messy that I ate it with a knife and fork.
When I was done what I needed to at the office I met Bill and he came and jump started Mom’s car, and then filled her low tires back at his place where we had a great garage visit over a couple beer. It is so nice to be friends after all these years. Not everyone is as lucky as we are to all be family after an acrimonious divorce 35 or so years ago. Rae-Anne and I had a good visit and catch up after taking Mom her laundry and making sure she was all good. I had a good talk with her brother and caught him up on all that is going on. I do love my Uncle Bryan.
Tomorrow I have a client in office in the morning and have to go to one late afternoon. In between I have a mission to take Mom’s car to the Subaru dealer and see what it is worth to sell and to get her some slippers like mine that she can slip on to walk about. And if I have energy left, I will go to the hockey game. Guess I had better get some rest!
I wanted today to be better than it was. I was horrified to see that my Mom couldn’t get out of her chair by herself when I went to pick her up for her physio appointment. We picked up her vial of B12 and went to her appointment using a wheeled chair after pushing her in her walker to the clinic. I was overwhelmed emotionally when she said it is like her feet aren’t listening to her brain. She has a CT scheduled for the 18th as they are concerned she may have had a small stroke in her sleep which has caused this sudden decline in her mobility. She kept saying she was sorry and I kept telling her not to be, that I am just so sad and afraid for what is going on and that we will get to the bottom of it. After the appointment I brought her home, changed her bed and brought all her laundry with me as she is unable to go down the hall to the laundry room. I did make her promise to go down to the dining hall tomorrow night for dinner as the physiotherapist and the Diabetes nurse say she needs to keep moving. I agree as she seems to get worse the longer she just sits. So hard to watch her age by the day. I got storage insurance put on her car so she doesn’t have to make a decision about it right away and her insurance runs out after Friday. Bill is going to go jump start it tomorrow and I will take it for a long drive to charge it up again. I had to go back to the office when I was done with her as I had been gone for 4 hours and needed to run a payroll still. Just got home and threw her laundry in. Gene and Lukas have offered to help her out in the future. They are good boys, and were going to get the bus there after school but I said I would do it this time. I am arranging a home care worker to come and assist her to shower weekly as it will be safer and more comfortable for both of us. Once the laundry is in the dryer I am going to climb into a tub and get a good sleep as I can’t get further behind at work. ‘Night all.
A few great things happened in the last two days. I got to FaceTime with my Jackie yesterday and decided to just enjoy the feels without even sharing it at day’s end. She was so thrilled to see me and kept pointing and blowing me kisses, celebrating when I responded that I had lost 45 pounds. It was absolutely lovely and teary. I promised to try to see her in July when I am down.
Today, I texted first thing this morning with my friend and asked him to seek out good places to solo travel. He messaged later that Iceland and Ireland kept coming up as the best places. I have always wanted to go to both but really want to go to Ireland. I may just fly there and hope my UK friends will join me! Something to think about for sure.
At the end of the day I picked up Diane and Zoe and we went to Ella’s restaurant for dinner. We had the Burger Month special, the Souljah Burger. It was delicious and so much food! Aleithah is so lovely and takes such pride in their lovely restaurant. The bathrooms are super cool as well. I got a nice compliment about my earrings which I had forgotten were Office Specials as I had forgotten to put some on this morning!
After dinner we went back to their house and I was glad I brought my pool cue as Diane and I played three games of which I won 2 and then we went upstairs and had a game of crib that lasted forever as we were talking so much. To be fair, I think she was listening and I was downloading. She is definitely behind the idea of me getting away and highly supports the idea of going to Ireland and hopefully seeing my friends.
All in all, sometimes the best therapy is a good friend just accepting who you are and loving you for that. I have had three of them share that love with me in two days. I am a lucky woman.
I am watching a documentary, Buffy Sainte-Marie: Carry On and still can’t believe that the man who is on the screen, Taj Mahal, was in my golf cart chatting with me last summer. And in 2012, I was blessed to experience Buffy herself at our Festival on Vancouver Island. Again, I am a lucky woman
Wookiee was germy as he had been my cuddle buddy all the way through my cold. Although I am still a little congested I knew he needed a shower. He eagerly waited in line and looked much improved after his wash and fluff out.
I had a productive day working on one file and a bit of volunteer books before heading to meet Cindy at her son Kaleb’s U13 squad game. It was fun and the Yellowjackets were winning by two when I left to head back to the office to grab a bite to eat and ready for my Board meeting. It went well as we welcomed our two newest Board members, Graham and Matthew. I think we got a lot decided and I have homework for tomorrow. It was nice to get out well before 10. Missy is very cuddly tonight. I wonder if it is because she is approaching 10 years old this year or if it really just took her over 2 years to decide I am not going to hurt her and that she loves me.
I got up in a hurry when I rolled over and checked my messages to see they needed me to cover a shift at noon. I had stripped the bed, was doing laundry and just ready to jump in the shower when I got a message they didn’t really need me after all. I am trying not to be frustrated and do want to help if needed but I don’t think I really am needed anymore and that is ok. I am not part of the youth team anyway and have many more things to fil my time. I helped get them through the hump of the busy holidays and feel good about that. I did take opportunity to take my carload of recycling to one of the yellow bins. The first 3 I went to were all full but I found an easily accessible and empty one so I could unload it all at once. I also sorted several of my cupboards and assessed what I have for food and spices etc as I am not going to get Hello Fresh for the next couple weeks. In the between spaces I watched 3 Oscar nominated movies and puzzled. My dinner was tasty and I look forward to it at lunch tomorrow as well!
Took time for a fun FaceTime with Emmy, her mom and sister. Gwen is so big now! Emmy always has fun with emoji faces while we chat. She like that she will be 6 next month and just has to add a zero to make my 60. The one and only time that will happen with her.
The Oscar Best picture nominees that I have previously seen are:
Top Gun: Maverick Avatar: The Way of Water Elvis
This weekend I watched:
The Banshees of Inisherin (Loved it!) Everything Everywhere All at Once (Should get best female actor) The Fabelmans (I didn’t know until after that it was a true story) All Quiet on the Western Front (felt a little like when I watched Platoon)
Still to watch this week:
Women Talking Triangle of Sadness Tár (If I can find where to stream it)
I published rather than saved without finishing my thoughts… today is my dear friend Jackie’s birthday but I was able to have her answer FaceTime so I reached out to her son who is going to try to make it happen tomorrow. I do miss her.
I did have adventures with the movies today as well. I tried to rent Triangle of Sadness and instead something else in French processed and on top of it the expiry date is very odd
Also I watched the first half of All Quiet on the Western Front in the original German with subtitles but found it hard to watch and puzzle so I switched to English but all the Germans had British accents!! That was annoying, almost as annoying as the soundtrack. The cinematography was impressive though.
I slept in, did chores, finished one puzzle and started another, dressed to potentially cover a shift at Arby’s, changed into poker t-shirt from Vegas and was picked up by Steph to go to Tim and Shawna’s for poker league. I had a pretty great night paying $20 to play, and one $10 buy in. Walked out with $40 as I managed to take out 5 people and earn their bounty chips at $5 each as well as coming in 5th out of 15 which earned me a $15 share of the pot. It was my first night getting even one bounty and making it to the money. It was fun and I feel like I have found my place at the table finally. It was just what I needed to end this week.
It is hard to sum up a day when a portion of it was spent beating back the demons and overcoming an anxiety attack. I had my feelings hurt and that instantly, I mean INSTANTLY turned inward. I was caught off guard as I usually can review and not react but I was caught in a tsunami of ugly feelings of negativity about myself to the point that I questioned everything that grounds me. I kept saying out loud that there are people who love me and want to spend time with me as the brainstorm raged inside that no one wants to be around me. I threw out a life line and called Ashlée who answered immediately, listened, asked the right questions to clarify, validated my feelings, understood my response and just listened so I could talk it out and proceed to let it go. We have so many things that keep us apart but she is my go to when I am spiraling. I do love her so.
I was thinking that I was in no frame of mind for anything else but had tickets to see my friends play music tonight and a plan to go with Tracey so I committed to going in spite of how I was feeling. We went to Sushi on The Strip for their addition to Burger Month. It was delicious!! We had a good visit and the lobby show of the CD release for Kickin’ Round the Kootenays by Douglas Francis Mitchell and friends was enjoyable. I am glad I forced myself past the dark wall. I feel a bit beat up but on the other side.
I took opportunity today to only work on one file. I did a couple other things but for the most part I was able to just focus and relax into doing just one thing. It was exactly what I needed to do, give my brain a break from multitasking. I picked up Mom at 4 and took her to her appointment to follow up on all the tests. It is still odd to see a nurse-practitioner rather than a Dr but she seems really on top of it all. We got any results and there is relief that so far all the findings can be managed with diet. There are more tests to come and Mom is not thrilled about giving up her sweets but the alternative is worse. I picked us up dinner and we ate at her apartment before I came home to try and let all the emotions go. It all feels so sudden but that is because she only talked about the pain in hr butt muscles, not all the other symptoms. I am glad I kept asking questions and pressing until I got a bigger picture. It is just so trying for me as I sense things but don’t get the answer and then all the pieces fall together and I feel I was right to question in the first place. At least a few of us in the family know and can help now. I do feel like running away for a bit though… may start looking for last minute deals.
I have said this before, but I despise wishing my life away. The problem is that the difference between yesterday and today is tangible. I have GST quarters to file but for the most part this is the month to catch my breath and catch up on a file that haunts me. I realized this evening that I have always been jealous of people who get to go away this time of year. I have somehow made a place in my calendar where I can plan for that going forward. It’s a nice thought. I called Mom today and confirmed her brother is going to bring her some groceries tomorrow and that I will come into her Dr appointment with her to ask the questions and get the information. This makes both of us feel better. Today is also the first day I weigh less than 180 in as long as I have been keeping track. 43.5 pounds gone now. I can definitely tell by the clothes I can wear again. So many of my favourite t-shirts have been shelved for years. I am now glad I didn’t get rid of them. I am getting rid of the XL clothes as they fall off me now though. Not going to keep them, ‘Just in case’. My cold feels on the way out, didn’t need nearly as many Kleenex today! Survivor is back, I only wish Jake was here to eat tacos and watch it with me as we used to do when we lived on Salt Spring.
triumphgal 