I left home in my slippers, thankfully noticing just after I locked the front door. It could have been a negative start to the day but I laughed and enjoyed the moment so it actually started things right.
There were many draws on my attention today but I got so much done before I got the text to cover a shift from 5-7 at Arby’s tonight. I had a good time, cleaned like a machine and chatted with the customers. Two ladies were very sweet and waved me over to say they saw I was in training and thought i was doing excellent and should ask Jesse, the owner if I could get a job at Encore Brewing when it opens, lol. I proceeded to tell them about the Founders Club and they were very interested and wondered if the former bowling league people should be invited to join. When I went back behind the counter Ashlée removed the ‘in training’ from my name-tag and I went back to the ladies and said, ‘look, I graduated!” They were so happy to have been there for that. That is one of the reasons I will miss working there, the connection with the public.
When I left work I decided to treat myself to a small Mint Chocolate shake before we don’t have them anymore. It was worth the calories!
After that shift it was back to the office to get a little more work done while I waited for the 8 pm Zoom meeting of the VIMF coordinators. I sure love being able to be part of them now. It is good to see the faces and hear what’s up at every stage of planning. My crew is slowly building and I look forward to July!
Sure did feel all the bits of my personality today, lol.
Today was intense concentration as I worked over the phone with a client on their file. I worked right through lunch and just had it before leaving to go to Key City to volunteer in the upper lobby bar for Ballet Jorgen and their performance of Cinderella. It was a full house with many kids, especially little girls in pretty dresses. I did pop in to have a quick look and the costumes were amazing. It was lovely to hear the kids laughing and enjoying it.
I can’t wait to listen to the gift that arrived in today’s mail thanks to Doug!
My grandad was 57 when I was born, only 54 when his first Grand child was born, He and my Nana looked after me for the first two years of my life after my mother and sister drowned. I was 44 when my first grand child was born and he will be eligible to get his learners drivers license not long after my 60th. I was just thinking that I was blessed to have a crazy inspiring Nana and a patient kind Grandad who were always available any time I needed them, wanted to sleep over, or just hang out. They believed in me but also doted on me. I think this made my cousins jealous. On the other side of the family, my Grandma also loved me and when she gave up her license, she gave me her car as I was a single mom with Jake. This caused ripples in my relationship with the cousins on that side. I get it, I know that most people, including myself for a decade, didn’t know about the trauma that occurred when I was only 3 months old. I feel that my Grandparents, on both sides, were trying to make up for the loss of my primary bond. I can only imagine how hard that was while suffering their own terrible loss.
I look at my own style of grand-parenting and know it is not the same. I love my grand kids very much but I don’t say yes very often when they ask to stay over. I know I should as the time is fleeting but I also know they have a close, more typical relationship with their Père and Granny. And honestly, I do better with them one on one.
Today I received a call from Rae-Anne that Will’s good friend had broken his arm while ice skating and Will was pretty upset. They would be back at the school soon. I stopped the payroll I was working on and went to find him in his classroom. He was doing okay but I could tell he was glad to see me and we had a very good long hug. The substitute teacher mouthed to me that Will is a gentle soul. When he was done, he went back to his desk and I headed back to the office with tears in my eyes. I took all his stress and all his love into me and I was just grateful to have the time to go.
Back at the office I was kept busy on a phone call with a client, fixing their file and was starting to get a sore tailbone from sitting so much when I finally remembered to use my stand up desk. I was so much happier and look forward to continuing tomorrow. Did I mention that I bought myself a pretty serious birthday present? I am now the 39th member of the Encore Brewing Founders Club. Details to follow 🙂
Harissa spice was tasty but may be regretted later.
It is windy out and there are strange noises. It is funny after so many years have passed that I still miss the movement of the houseboat I grew up in. Whenever I hear the wind, I expect to feel it as well. It sends me down a rabbit hole of memories, good ones and not so good ones, but always ones I am happy to revisit for they are a part of me. I have spent my life believing that everything in it has happened for a reason. I suppose that is a trauma defense in some ways but it has worked for me. The problem as I contemplate nearing my 60th birthday is that I wonder what it has all been for. Besides living a very full, very passionate life, what have I done to make a difference? Have I really changed anyone’s life in a positive way, have I left a legacy? I suppose the best I can hold onto is the legacy of the next generations. I do have 3 adult kids who are making a difference in the world and a brood of grandkids who hold so much promise. I just hope to stick around long enough to see the fruit, to be truly grateful for this life and know the choices I sometimes stumbled into.. were the right ones.
For the first time in as long as I can remember there was absolutely nothing on my calendar, so that is what I did. All I did all day was binge trash TV, do an entire puzzle and began a Diamond dot pic I got for a gift over a year ago. It was perfectly relaxing, the biggest stress being not letting myself reply to texts, emails and messages unless they were super time sensitive and even then I refrained from checking very often. I did get a nice call from Ash. To see what I would like to do for my 60th in April as plans need to be made depending on my hopes. I said I would let it rattle around for a bit and let her know. Later in the day, Rae called to download which I am glad she does. It makes me happy to be there for her. I decided that I would like to go away for the weekend after my birthday with my three kids. I know Jake will be here a few weeks before for Emmy’s birthday but maybe he can get a cheap flight to Calgary and join us. I have a voucher for a resort in Alberta and am going to see if I can book two nights and see if they have a spa. Spending time with the girls, uninterrupted would be so great and maybe if Encore is open we can do family dinner and bowling with all the grandkids, my Mom, etc on the actually birthday. Something to look forward to for sure!
I clearly needed to catch up on sleep as I got nearly another 12 hours! I was still puttering in my jams when Rae-Anne asked if I wanted to go to the open house at Encore Brewing. I met her there and was gobsmacked at all they have done with the old bowling alley here. It will now be a restaurant/bar/music venue, arcade, bowling alley and brewery! They took out half the lanes, leaving 8 and repurposed the wood from the lanes as counters and stage. So looking forward to hanging out there and hopefully bringing in some acts as well. They kept the old pin setters which will be run by new electronics and even managed to get their hands on the old plexiglass from around the arena to use as windows which of course I think is awesome.
I had to buy a shirt, and on the way home I also stopped at Morchella Market which was saved from shutting down by a purchaser. I like their selection of non-alcoholic options and just had to have the glasses as well.
I was home long enough to get chores done and then picked up Bill, Deanne and Ashlée to go for Sushi before heading to Symphony of the Kootenays featuring Daniel Lapp. I was thrilled to learn Maria Elliot played violin with them which was just an added bonus to a truly delightful evening. Daniel is crazy good and entertaining, the SOTK was incredible to watch and listen to, much to my surprise, I will admit. I have never been to the symphony before and really enjoyed it. I knew they were top quality musicians, just didn’t think I would enjoy it so much. There was a very good house of all ages. After, we met Daniel front of stage and had a wee reunion as we know him from Vancouver Island MusicFest and Ashlée had taken the photo of him that he then bought from her and uses on his website and other media platforms. I brought the canvas one and she her print to get him to sign and we all got excited to see each other again in July when he comes and plays the Fest. All and all a fabulous day that filled my tank.
I did get a lot done today, and my mood stayed relatively stable with my mind only moderately wandering. I was not happy that I didn’t notice a union apprentice rate change that happened in Sept 2021 so I had to calculate the retro pay and union due difference. Thankfully it went well. I worked on MusicFest as I had to respond to the new applicant as fast as possible. He is the first new person this year and has extensive experience volunteering at Vancouver Folk Music Festival which had to close down.
I got done just in time to come home for a small break before picking up Tiffany to go for food and then the Hockey game. I met her as my server and the bar manager at The Blind Pig. She messaged me last night but I didn’t respond until today and we had a good laugh when we realized we live in the same park. Off we went to Hot Shots where I used my gift cards from a client to buy us delicious salads and raspberry sodas. The game was good, we won. The Bucks scored on the Arby’s Minute so any one can get free medium curly fries by showing their ticket in the next 48 hours. It was a nice evening out and then I came home and finished my current puzzle.
Good Morning, I have just had almost 12 hours sleep and am having a bit of breakfast before getting ready for the office. Funny, I would have chosen to stay home today but I didn’t bring my laptop.
So yesterday…
The first sadness was learning that Gordon isn’t responding well to the chemo, that he had to be taken by ambulance and is getting rehydrated with his lovely Rhonda by his side. Fuck Pancreatic Cancer
The first shock was learning of an unconfirmed report that George died some time in the last two weeks. He was the janitor in the space I work and because of my late hours we shared many a conversation, an occasional meal and many good street meets since he stopped working there. I considered him a friend and it hits closer to home as he was a year younger than I am, a fact of which he often reminded me. I hope to learn more. Fuck whatever took him
I was feeling grateful that the the last of the T4s that I am directly responsible for are done and was working on VIMF email when the news came that Thom had passed peacefully that afternoon. I knew it was coming, was somewhat prepared but in the end, was broken. There is a special relationship that can result from being in a play together. The roles he and I played in The Tin Woman by Sean Grennan brought us together as grieving parents. We both fell into the roles and bonded as friends during it. I am so sad for Eleanor, their daughters and grandkids. I will miss our Santa. Fuck aggressive glioblastoma
I found myself having an anxiety attack, that I needed to FaceTime with my other ill friend just to see his face and know he is still doing ok. I did and he is and that was somewhat comforting. Fuck whatever it is causing his problems.
The only relief from it all was going to be sleep so I poured a hot THC bathbombed bath, ate a wee special cookie from a friend, put on Wakanda Forever and tried to relax. Seems I did, as I only made it half way through the movie (which I will have to watch again) before I was out and into bed. It wasn’t even 9 pm and I was glad to have turned off my ringer. I awoke momentarily at 11:30, usual bed time, and then my alarm was going off. I even snoozed it and ultimately slept almost 12 hours. I feel better over all. Grief is tough. For me, I can deeply miss those I don’t see very often, the most as there is always the expectation of running into them, of reconnecting. Instead there is a void created. As I pointed out to a friend, it would be easy to avoid if I didn’t make these connections in the first place… but what a sad life that would be.
Fuck it all, I’ll take the grief, as it is proof of love.
I didn’t sleep well, somewhat because my cat is too cuddly right now and I overheat. Being awake one last time before my alarm, I decided to get on the treadmill. Today would be the day I buckle down with Noom again and lose those last 23 pounds or so. It is also the first day of Dry February. I put Strange World on the TV. I had started watching it on Disney+ some time ago and forgot about it. After getting a wack of steps in, I decided to have a nice breakfast and lounge back in bed to finish watching it. Peach yogurt with fresh blueberries, a couple of cups of black coffee and a decent animated movie started off the month just perfectly relaxed. The last clip of the movie was a lovely aha moment as well.
I got a lot done in my busy day but it wasn’t stressed. I seem to have learned not to make other peoples problems into mine. Well, I managed that for now anyway. I had a nice salad for lunch and then came home to chicken lasagna.
Now I am watching episodes of Black Mirror, enjoying pots of tea and pistachios. Seems boundaries and regimens are good for me. Now let’s see if they are good for my physical and mental health.
Not the best sleep again last night, likely because today would be the last day of the month and I would need to ensure I didn’t miss any filings. It is funny how I have spreadsheets and lists, software that reminds me and yet I still have fear after all these years. A lot of the stress comes from the items that are not on the list, and the fact that I haven’t done groceries for fresh fruit, have skipped my Hello Fresh and know my system is suffering. Rae called me at one point to bemoan the fact that she had not only lost the lid to one of my special glass dishes at Christmas but now had managed to drop my queen sized inflatable mattress after it was left out in the cold and it broke. She wanted to just give me money and never borrow anything again. Of course, my philosophy is don’t lend something, including money, unless you are willing to not get it back. That did not come across in my gut or my response as I was in the middle of a tough payroll and I had wanted to sell the mattress to get the money to buy one that would fit the back of my car perfectly. I had to get up and go for a walk, clear my head and then call her back to explain. She, being the awesome human she is, immediately found the perfect fit for my car, at a great price and ordered it for me. I really do look forward to getting it! Win, win. Too bad it caused us both stress in the moment. Honestly, today was a day that left me thinking I would like to win the lottery after all and just let all the chips fall. I care too much about what I do, which makes me good at it, but also has me on a constant treadmill on a steep incline. January is the worst month of all the months and I am enjoying a lovely Islay scotch after puzzling for a bit and will tuck in for a hopefully good sleep before tackling February, the next most complicated month. Once the T4s are all out of the way, I will be able to breathe again.
I did stop at the Guedes house for dinner which was delicious and then stocked up on groceries before coming home. I shall eat much better this week, which will be even more important as I go into Dry February!
I worked my tush off today and managed to get everyone filed in time. It is a huge relief and I just want to sleep all day tomorrow but that isn’t an option. I switched to Jetpack from WordPress and it seems there is an issue with subscribers as two people reached out to see if I am ok as they hadn’t gotten notices and was I still writing. I am sooooo grateful to this safety net of friends. Not only did I discover the system had changed but much more importantly, my wellbeing is in good hands.
I had a very sad update about my dear friend, Thom. He has been moved to palliative care today and won’t be with us long as he has very aggressive brain tumors. He has been a good friend and I will miss him when he’s gone. Actually, I miss him already.
I launched my event today and that was a positive moment. Can’t wait for Wednesday when the tickets go on sale!!
My neighbour and I went to the matinee of The Whale today. It is a stunning portrayal of so many deep subjects. I found myself completely engrossed in the intensely honest performances of a very tough subject. We are a result of the trauma that occurs in our lives. It touched me deeply and made me revisit some places I avoid. The damage caused by many organized religions in the name of God, the breakdown of relationships, the coping mechanisms we turn to.. the pain of parents divorcing, the strength of true bonds.. all heart wrenchingly touched on. I highly recommend this movie.
After a short mall shop, we returned home where I finished my laundry and began a new puzzle that Rae had given me.
It was then time to head to Key City to volunteer for my old friend Barb Phillip’s show Lost Marbles: Diary of a Breakdown. We knew each other at a very dramatic time of our lives in the early 90’s when we were both seekers at a Born Again Christian church. Our last children were born the same year and I did not remember the Psychosis, the mental break she suffered as I was dealing with my own struggles with depression and bullying in the name of God. Listening to her tonight touched my heart. She gives voice to the silence, the shame of mental illness. I am so glad I was there tonight, and am proud of us both for who we are and where we are in our lives now. I envy that she has had her husband Kevin by her side over 36 years now, an ever present strength for her.
I feel the need to feel the feels, to allow myself to know that the things that were stirred up today are well earned, will once again be put back in the box of memories and that they made me strong and caring. The sun will rise and fall again tomorrow. I will go on.
Before I went to bed last night I put my weighted throw between my top sheet and comforter. I didn’t even need to read before falling into a good sleep and only woke once around 3:45 before waking naturally around 8:15. It was just what I needed. Missy even stayed sleeping at my feet so I must not have tossed and turned.
The morning broke clear skied and beautiful and there had only been another inch or so of snow which was also lightweight compared to the day before. I showered, drank coffee and then puzzled while we had our ABC Zoom call. I listened for a while and then decided to get outside and shovel, especially the accumulation on my sheds and trees. The plow driver kindly took away the berm I created whilst shoveling last night.
I came back in and puzzled again before it was time to head to Key City Theatre where I was an usher for the Ideas Bobert kids show. It was sweet to hear all the kids enjoying themselves. My favourite part was when she called up 3 kids to form a band. They were so on he beat it was amazing.
I admit, I came home and puzzled again until it was time to go to the hockey game. Tracey and I laughed and caught up during a very tight game. The Bucks were playing the Penticton Vees. The Vees far outshot us but Airy, our goalie kept it down to only one goal in, which unfortunately tied it up. It went in to 3 on 3 OT and them a shootout that went 5 players deep before they scored their second goal and won. It was fun and exciting. There are a large group of early 20 something’s the sit in our section including my salon gal, Ireland. Tonight they were in our row and the one below so for the first time someone was sitting beside me. She was at the far end of the row below so I texted her to say I was one of the posse tonight. She replied that there would be an initiation and that it would involve drinking a King can of Bud Light. I replied, challenge accepted and we had a good laugh. It wasn’t until after the game that I found out Ashlée had been sitting up behind us. Weird she didn’t let me know at the time. I commented at one point that the game was all action but no scoring… just like my sex life. We had a good laugh but it was also sad… haha
I came home and finally finished the puzzle. There are three pieces missing sadly. I suspect the cat walking on it over the last 12 months kicked some pieces off that I didn’t know about and they were swept up by the Roomba. The photo has a AA battery for size perspective. It took a long time with the summer hiatus but I did enjoy doing it. I think I will glue it together and make a mat.
I slept a bit more last night, seems the reading before sleep is helping. I was a reader my whole life and am not sure when that faded away. I need to get the proper reading glasses again though as the progressives are awkward to get the right angle. When I got up and on the treadmill, it wasn’t snowing but by the time I went to leave for work I had to clear a light dusting off my car. By the time I left work to go volunteer at Key City, there was a good foot of snow. I got it all cleared off and waited to get the burning and tingling feeling gone from my toes as I didn’t wear the right boots. Sadly only 58 people came out to the show tonight. It was a solo performance artist and I feel bad for them as they have to give the same high energy, no matter how many it is for. I was going to go to the hockey game after but knew I had a lot of shoveling to do so when I heard two young men speaking a foreign language walking past, I offered them my tickets. They were very happy and I was glad they weren’t going to go to waste. On the way home I was detoured around many flashing lights and the power was out all the way to my street. Fortunately our power was still on. I parked on the street and for the next hour I cleared snow. It was too much to do all three spots as it was wet and heavy, very unusual for Cranbrook. I did a great deal though. The only problem, besides all the hard work, was I had Chantilly Lace running through my head like an earworm. It’s not even from my generation!!! The dinner of choice after all that was McClelland’s scotch and Pogos. Puzzle and That 90’s Show completed the evening.
I read the book I got for Christmas before I went to bed last night, and it seems like no blue screens or noise for an hour helped me to sleep better. Ironically, I usually fall asleep with the TV timer on and set to Big Bang Theory. The only problem with it is that it is about two inches thick and hardcover.
I took care of volunteer things at the office before heading for a two hour lunch shift at Arby’s. It was nice to work with both Rae-Anne and Ashlée. It was slow so the last half hour I watched training videos and received certifications. We have been too busy to do it sooner but I have done well enough to qualify. I will miss doing this as it strangely satisfies.
Back at the office I got another file completed and feel like I shouldn’t need to work this weekend so I answered the call for two short volunteer stints at Key City tomorrow night and Saturday afternoon. They have been very supportive of my event coming up and it feels good to give back. As of today the contract is signed, the event insurance is purchased and all is ready for the Monday launch! I am so excited that I have decided to share the digital media a few days early on here. Hopefully this is just the beginning of building up ‘a jake’s mom production’ business. I received a call from my friend Doug today to discuss MusicFest stuff and we had a good chat about all things production. I am so excited he is coming to Cranbrook! I told him the show was three days before my 60th and he surprised me by thinking I was much younger than him, not the same age. That was sweet.
Once I got home I just watched Saturday Night Live and puzzled. I find that different light conditions make it easier to do. I still worry that some pieces are missing. If they are all there, I have intention to glue it together and then I may varnish it and turn it into a floor mat. It would be awesome in front of the kitchen sink.
I am once again on the edge of a cold, feeling that itch in the back of my ears and nasal drip. Today, a day time cold pill helped. I think I will proactively take a night time one and get some sleep which should kick it. Sweet dreams, or have a great day, y’all.
I have to remind myself constantly that I am grateful for all the things that I accomplish today because I am so tired that zombie comes to mind. I had a terrible terrible sleep last night. I finally just ended up getting up puzzling for a bit before getting ready to head to the office. My client dropped off his two corporate files with some days to spare, which is a bonus. My daughter managed to find people to cover all the shifts and mine except for tomorrow over lunch which I said I want to do because she will be working and I don’t know how much longer we will get to work together. I confirmed all the details for my event launch on Monday. Now I just cross my fingers that it sells out, so nothing comes out of pocket for me. I want to be more present for the people in my life that need it right now, but I appreciate that they know how busy I am. I am perfectly obsessed with finishing my puzzle and hope my cat hasn’t fed any pieces to the Roomba that I didn’t notice.
This morning started out great as I watched That 90s Show while I was on the treadmill. I enjoyed all the cameos but my favourite moment was seeing ‘Fez’ on the car I had 20 years later. The show is just good fun.
I got to the office and buckled down to answer all my email, take care of some volunteer work and then tackle a tough payroll. I completed it and then heard from the owner that he had not entered all the hours. I had to recall it and start again. Fortunately I had done all the pre work so it only took another half hour. It was frustrating though as I had much else to do. The rest of the day went as planned, work wise. The next sad news was about the event I was supposed to host and emcee tomorrow night. It turns out the band that was to come from out of town had a member test positive with Covid and the decision had to be made to postpone the event. There were many email flying back and forth between Board members but it was finally agreed to try to reschedule rather than give the event goers less than they deserve. I did work on creating an event on Facebook for my show which will go live next Monday. I am getting excited about announcing it!
Finally got home an made my last Hello Fresh of the week as I skipped this next week. It was so good I forgot to take a pretty picture but have one of the lunch for tomorrow.
I played on my iPad as I watched my shows and am going to puzzle a bit before going to bed. I have to decide if I have the energy left to cover some upcoming shifts at Arby’s tomorrow and Saturday. Friday and Saturday are both Hockey game nights, and I work Thursday and Sunday lunch shifts. It will all depend how much I get done the next couple days. I am frustrated by two clients not bringing me their info yet… should this poor planning be my emergency or stress, sigh.
This morning I was happy to see that my app reported that my average beats per minute has trended lower for the last 22 days. This is added progress and benefit of my weight loss.
My day was busy but in a positive way and I enjoyed the clients I assisted on the phone. At 4 I had a nail appointment which was very needed as only today I had started to miss key due to them being too long. Minh did an awesome job as always
From there I met Rae-Anne at Firehall to have a meal before meeting with the owners to discuss the proper way to track controlled tips in payroll. I really appreciate when owners reach out to do the legislated thing and appreciate the system I have come up with for that. We had a great visit and the food and wine was devine. Additionally they treated us to the steak laden nachos!
triumphgal 