triumphgal

What a curiously relaxing and productive day. I slept in, intermittently worked around the house and watched Movies. It was really quite lovely.

The first project I finished was building my island. I finished assembling the dresser and then set the top on but the instructions for the butcher block top say I need linseed oil. I should have read it sooner . I headed out to Home Depot just after 5 but decided to put away the yard inflatables and didn’t keep track of time. Suddenly it was ten to 6 and I wouldn’t make it before they closed. Roger said I may need to research a good safe oil for a countertop. I am s happy with my choice, just have to find something to finish the back side as it is made to be against a wall.

I took the time to look up the places for sale in our park. The double wide across the street is up for sale and I would like to get my hands on it and renovate it. Problem is I will never get permission to rent mine or it after my adventures with the strata council. I did learn something interesting though. Apparently because we own our own property and pay strata fees, when the realtor lists it is called a condominium. So weird. I guess now I don’t have to say I live in a mobile or modular home..

I took down and packed away all my Christmas decor, all that is left is on the roadside and I will deal with that tomorrow. It feels so big in here with the tree boxed up. Missy is super friendly and touchy today. She even lets me pet and snuggle her. I enjoyed being a loner today.

Did some tech work as well, turning shows on DVD to mp4 for streaming. Thank God for Google when software doesn’t do what you need. I did a couple work arounds until it was what the streaming company needed.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was interesting but surprisingly unTarantino until the end. It as a great walk down memory lane though. 1917 was powerful and gave quite the perspective on what we rarely see in the movies, behind enemy lines. Bombshell is quite the look at when the camera stops rolling on female news anchors. Stellar cast!

Having bowel problems? I have a sure cure.. take a gentle natural laxative before bed. Be sure you have a webex meeting with a bank manager and a client the next morning.. cue the rumbling half way through.. hope that your sweating and squirming does not read on camera… Now you are guaranteed to have a crappy day.. in a good way!

I received a call from my Quickbooks account manager and it was all cheerful inquiries into how great our holidays went when he mentioned the wonderful trip he and his fiancé had to Vancouver Island. ‘It’s so much nicer on the West Coast than in Ontario’ he exclaimed. I sat silent for a moment processing how to respond. ‘ I think we should move on from this topic’, said I, ‘I didn’t even get to spend time with my grandkids across town let alone travel across the country’. He seemed oblivious.

I am still shaking my head and am at a loss how someone living in one of the most hard hit provinces thought that was a good idea.

I stopped to have a doorstep visit at my daughters to show off my new hair. As I was about to drive away I saw Ashlée and Sawyer returning from their walk with Obie. Sawyer was very emotional about his desire to hug me and we elbow bumped, air hugged and blew kisses. Gene is now way taller than Rae at 13 and a half. Lukas and Will are maturing into pre-teens and Emmy, well I just miss our weekly Thursday nights together, full stop.

I know you have all been awaiting a Throbby Bobby update. Well, it is amazing to me that after 3 months he is still holding on to his nail and I even had to clip it. The only discomfort lately was the nail catching as it was too long. I feel like it grew but all reports say no it will not regenerate, so it must be being pushed out by the new one

I was very productive today in spite of the fact that i left the office just before 12:30 in order to go to a hair appointment for the first time since I had the right side shaved in February. It has now grown out and my grey new growth was over 2 inches so it was time to make magic and transition to my real colour. Karissa is amazing and we talked through what I was hoping for before she took it to the next level. 3 hours later, I was thrilled!! I had decided finally to own the Crone when I saw my hair coming in sparkly rather than dull salt and pepper. Several times in my 40s and 50s I have tried to go natural to no avail. I was also stunned to find out my crazy hairdresser is 21 weeks pregnant with twins. Apparently my daughters who know her well forgot to mention that. She cracked my up, straddling her stool. I can not begin to explain the incredible pleasure of being spoiled for that period of time and to come out feeling beautiful.

I asked Diane if they would like to have perogi night as it was Ukrainian Christmas and I am a quarter Ukrainian. she was excited to and to have a visit. I brought Cheese and scour cream and we ended up having a fun meal and two good games of crib after. It was also fun to watch a one heart wonder show as we played and Try to guess the songs. I left to come home as we were all getting tired. Diane is off work with a pulled tendon and I hope she heals soon.

When I popped in to feed Missy before dinner I found a parcel in the mailbox from the Hearndons. It was exceptionally packaged and there are markers inserted on pages I believe I am to take reference of. I look forward to reading it. The art and style of it are gorgeous.

I received an email as an owner in the strata that it is imperative that people go to the AGM and sign up to be on the council. Apparently it will cost stupid money to hire a company to look after the strata. It is a shame that the person who bullied me off the board is now begging for people to come onboard. On the plus side my property value went up. I bought in 2018 so I have good equity now and this doesn’t even count my renovations.

When I got back from Campbells I suddenly had a blurry line across my vision. I am going to choose migraine out of the possible reasons and take my self to bed. Perchance to sleep, perchance to poop again.

I awoke from another shockingly good sleep to Missy relaxing and being cute. I have a lot of gratitude that she stays at my feet

I couldn’t resist leaving a note for Matt in the fresh falling snow, hope it was still there when he arrived. I was sad to learn after the end of March they will be retiring the small truck in favour of bins. I suggested he approach our strata board about getting one here. I will have to look at options or impose on someone with a truck after that.

This afternoon my friend, Stacey brought me home made stew and cheese biscuits! So nice and thoughtful. It was a productive day and I was thrilled to get an email that my Wayfair order had arrived early. Sean and Zoë met me at my place and he brought it in off the porch. I insisted I could do it as it was only just over 100 pounds but he brought it in anyway. It’s funny as it came with a lovely letter about my family. I ordered a black solid dresser with 3 drawers and a cupboard to use as an island. I have already purchased the grey butcher block top to go on it. I managed to get the cabinet built and had to take a break for some stew and some news from the US.

Today was scary, the Trump supporters stormed the Capital in DC. It is unfathomable that this is going on, like something out of a futuristic movie about surviving the uprising. I think we should keep our borders closed. Once again there was a mass gathering and many were not wearing masks. I hope all surfaces were cleaned before they let the senators back in. There were pictures of disrespect in individual offices and in The House.

92 year old Auntie Ollie was flown to Kelowna, tests were done and it was determined surgery is too high risk so they are sending her back. She is to be on medication and not do stairs anymore which will be a challenge as she lives in the top floor of her two story house. I am so sad for her as she is very independent.

The Clarkes were my extended family growing up in Queensborough. I must have been around 10 when they moved to the Neighbourhood. Lynda and Kevin became my little sister and brother and our families spent a great deal of time together. Mrs C passed a few years back and this week we got the news that Mr C at 85 is coming to the end of his journey. It is so hard not to be there, not to be able to hug my ‘siblings’ and give them love. Murray Clarke helped me to find love in photography, to see and appreciate the world through a lens. He led a good life and experienced great love from his family, and friends. That is as it should be. I pray his transition is easy.

Had a chat with my Mom who spoke with him and we were moaning about the horror of what is happening down south. He was very cheeky and would appreciate our banter. I told her I learned once again to be careful what I ask for. I didn’t want to be alone for New Year’s and I most definitely was not. I welcomed it in with a lovely nurse. I had my nails done fancy on Christmas Eve and commented that it was a shame no one was going to see them. Who knew that that was very wrong. Every nurse, lab tech , Dr and specialist commented on them. Life is funny like that.

I don’t think I will finish the dresser tonight, pretty tired and none of my shows are on as the special reports out of the states have preempted. My tree is still up and all my yard decor but that is ok too. A little merriment does a soul good.

I had a really good sleep again with Missy at my feet. I was very discombobulated though to the point that I even forgot to bring a mask with me. There wasn’t one in my jacket or my car and I hadn’t grabbed a purse. Fortunately there are some at the office. I just got myself organized and plodded along with my work. There were many email and issues to catch up on and I tried to pace myself and not stress. I had a cottage cheese breakfast and yesterday’s leftovers for lunch and then I started to get heartburn. I drank so much water and only two cup of coffee so I am not sure what caused it. I have always been very controlled when it comes to the release of gas in any form so the necessity to not only do so but try to do so… is challenging. I feel more comfortable at home where I can do what is necessary. Of course I realize that the measure of things still functioning is a release in any way.

A client messaged she was making stew and could she bring me some tomorrow along with cheese biscuits. How sweet! I know what I am having for dinner tomorrow. I still am doing ok talking with clients but am otherwise still peopled out. Not depressed just low on energy and I use up bursts of it when on the phone. I stayed late to finish off some things and came home to make panko chicken nuggets in the air fryer and couscous in the microwave. Added cucumber and tomato and a bit of feta for a delicious meal but am really struggling with heartburn. I have half left for lunch tomorrow but I find myself far too aware of everything gastro now. I guess I really do fear further problems. I wish they knew why the ileus happened so I could just avoid that.

Auntie Ollie has to be flown out to hospital in Kelowna where they take care of the heart patients. She’s to have surgery and it is super risky in her condition and at her age. There is worry in the family for her life. I feel sad for my cousins.

I left this too late, I am exhausted. My alarm awoke me from a deep sleep, Missy curled at my feet. That is new… I was a little slow getting ready and I had a physio appointment at 11 for the Chrystals in my ears. The ENT felt strongly this was the source of my vertigo. I didn’t make time to eat or even have a coffee. That was a mistake. I stopped at the office to pick up the cheque book for the theatre as it was across the street from the physio office and I needed to take care of some treasurer business. This is the first time I have seen Mark Johnson and he comes highly recommended. I see why, he was very kind and thorough. He heard all the symptoms and my history and then began to test for the problem. After working on one side he said we would leave the rest to the next appointment. I stood up and walked to where my sweater and vest were. I had put on sweater and was reaching for the vest when I had the sensation of the blood draining out of me and I was falling forward. I tried to grab the chair and managed only to jamb my thumb on the arm, my right arm flailing in space as I was muttering oh no, oh no. I had the fear i was going to continue summersaulting forward and would have if I hadn’t been able to grab the table at the same time as he was rushing to catch me. We got me seated as the feeling of pins and needles overwhelmed my whole body. Then the emotions hit from the Adrenalin rush and Mark was so kind. He gave me Kleenex, brought me water in two cups, apologizing that there were only little ones, and talk me back to calm as we discussed what had happened. I was glad he saw it as this is the 3rd similar incident since June 2017. The worst was at MusicFest that year when they took me out in an ambulance thinking I had had a stroke. We now have something else to deal with and figure out. I do feel in good hands as once I was able I left to go across the street to the theatre. Mark offered to walk me over but I said I felt steady enough. he told me not to overdo anything for the rest of the day, to eat and drink and see if I felt better and should it happen again to go to the hospital. He actually suggested I go there right away but I feel it would have landed me back on IV. I want to eat and maintain better. He called me after his next appointment to make sure I was ok. I had had a few candy at the theatre and calmed down before I got back in the car. I was left feeling exhausted and emotional. One more thing to deal with. I went to Home Depot to deal with my doors to find they weren’t meant to arrive painted but they shouldn’t have a patch so I emailed a picture as asked. I also went to the mall to find another water bottle and a calendar. I then did a couple errands and came home to make a healthy dinner and relax. I answered a few email and texts and am completely peopled out…

I am concerned about my 93(?) year old Auntie Ollie who was brought in from Meadowbrook, the other side of Kimberley, by ambulance. It seems she had a small heart attack and has fluid on her lungs but is resting comfortably. A shame that I am not there still as I may have been allowed to visit her. I did pop up to the hospital as one of my errands to drop off a get well card for Patricia. I hope she gets her surgery and home again to her husband in Elkford soon.

I had a long talk with Rae-Anne this evening to discover she had been having the same type episodes occasionally since she was 16. This is a new piece of the puzzle which I can’t wait to share when I see Mark next Monday.

Slept better last night just not long enough. Frittered the day away with shower, walks, Dr talks etc. Dr. S said he felt there was nothing more they could do, that if I had solid meals and felt good I could go at 6pm or stay another night. Dr C agreed and said it was up to me and should I experience any vomiting or other severe symptoms once home, to come back. I also got her to look at the mole on my back that feels odd and she took pictures to send to my Dr. agreeing it looked like it needed a biopsy. Might as well get everything taken care of at once. After overhearing the Drs, the lady across the way with a severe form of what I have choked up a bit and wished I was going to be there to see how she did with her surgery tomorrow. I must take a get well card and drop it for her. She was very nice after being so cranky the first day I was there. I think she was sad and lonely and she thanked me for helping her get through this. I tell you, I could never do what those nurses do. Angels is an understatement. No one can possibly go into that field unless they are real caring humans. Lunch arrived, my first full meal since last Wednesday and of all things it was fish and chips. That is not a food I expect to see in a hospital and it lived up to my low expectations. I was hungry and wanted to be sure I wouldn’t get sick if I ate so I did. Brett, the IT guy at the GroundFloor took a good chunk of his Sunday to get a laptop ready to remote and dropped off it and paperwork from my office for me to the front desk and I was so grateful. He even left a lovely message for when I logged on. I got a payroll prepped and ready for review. Sent it off to the client in Victoria awaiting approval to upload for payments and the internet disconnected. I couldn’t get signed back on and that combined with what I ‘d had for lunch convinced me it was time to get dressed and pack up. I did and then put the call to the nurse that I would be ready at her convenience to leave. It was over an hour later when she came with the paperwork and right then dinner arrived. I thought if it looked good I wouldn’t waste it. She saw it at the same time and we both thought it was the worst thing for intestinal issues. Rice, cauliflower and what I read to find out was turkey. That made me even more happy about my decision. I had called Ashlée about a ride and she was a little cagey. I then found out she had let Missy out and she wouldn’t come back. She did find my keys though so that was a positive. Just before she left to get me the cat came back

I had a good reunion with Missy and checked out my new water system as I had forgotten the Culligan Man was at my house when I left for the ER. There is a chrome tap installed until my matte black one comes in to match the taps. I also unpacked the doors for across the area and found them to be unpainted. This is very frustrating as they took 4 months and 3 days to arrive. I took pictures and will go to Home Depot to see if I have any recourse. In the meantime I leaned them in place and I love how they will make everything look so much bigger and cleaner. I didn’t do much message follow up or anything except finished processing the payroll and responded to work email as I have physio in the morning for my vertigo. Can’t miss that.

It is good to be home.

This liquid diet had me up to head to the loo way too many times in the night, something I am not used to having to do at all. It is also complicated as I have to unplug and drag along my IV pole so there is no leaving it to the last moment. The day time staff came on and were absolutely lovely. I actually choked up listening to Nurse Serena speak with respect and gentleness to the elderly lady across the way who is having a hard time eating, taking meds or getting out of bed. It was such a nice display of kindness, most of the staff here have been that way. We are very lucky at East Kootenay Regional Hospital. I have now had the trifecta of broth and was grateful when the surgeon, Dr Schroeder, came to say we could bump me up to Full Fluids for lunch and see how that effects me. He said we would keep tinkering, lol. I also am to have Potassium as it is dropping for some reason, and something to aid in moving things along. I got to have a shower again and even got new socks. Dr Chesney came to tell me the cyst is a simple common one not to be concerned about. It is 7.5 x 4 x 4.6 centimeters which seems big to me but they are not concerned and say it i not related.

I went for a walk as it is necessary to keep moving around and found a lounge at the end of the hall. Sat there for a bit just for a change. There was a gentleman there who started a conversation about what would we do without technology. It’s so true, I can’t imagine just being here alone without connection. Lunch was so much better, carrot soup, coffee and ice cream! I decided to look up a code I heard and found this list of codes used in BC. Started reading the book Rae gave me for Christmas and am enjoying the various adventures. It is really well done.

I reached out to Diane to see if they could find me a cross-stitch kit to keep my mind occupied as I am starting to be concerned about the work I have to do. I have payroll to do and will never let them be late. they dropped off a lovely gift of colouring books and double ended felts. Seems town is sold out of crafts. I have lots at home, just not organized enough to have someone grab for me. I did finish one and get a good start on a couple others while watching Four Weddings and a Funeral and then the last half of the Canada vs Chek world junior hockey game which we nicely took 3-0 in the quarter finals. Dinner was Asparagus soup which I don’t prefer but was hungry. Not sure why there was a question mark.. Had some progress and then what felt like setbacks this evening. My IV machine also kept resetting itself so had to get swapped out. Hospitals are definitely underfunded. Everything is burgling so I am still awake after midnight but I have a new night shift nurse Heidi and she brought me popsicles!

Nurse Heidi also got permission for me to use a boardroom tomorrow to do the payroll should I not be discharged. I thought to message the IT guy for the Groundfloor Coworking space and he, bless his heart is going to set up a laptop with remote access to my desktop at the office and drop it at the hospital tomorrow. I am so grateful for everyone involved in taking the strain off. And if all else fails, Diane will go sit at my desk and I will FaceTime step by step instructions to get it done.

Now I just need to be sure I am back to ‘normal’ (that may be asking a lot) so I can go home. I did like being told today that I am very zen like. I will take that.

What an odd day. Waking up in a hospital is based on the schedule of the professionals looking after you. In order to get everything necessary done and recorded for the oncoming shift I was awoken around 6 am to have my vitals taken which was followed not long after by the lab tech for blood. The next adventure was a walk down for x-rays being led by a curious older gentleman porter who wore his mask under his nose most of the time. The Surgeon whose name I seem unable to retain came to tell me there was no change so I needed to still stay but he was upping me to clear fluids for lunch. I was thrilled to say the least. After lunch my nurse for the day, Summer brought me a coffee and finally my headache went away. Dr Chesney arrived and was explaining to me that the ultrasound may not happen today and I would have to come back as an outpatient if I were released before it were done. I was honest with her that it was what I am most concerned about, the unknown. Just then Summer came in to tell me they were ready for me at Ultrasound. She sent me walking with a binder and it was so eerie to go through two floors and not see another person. Upon my return the lovely lady next to me with a new hip was released, I will miss her company. I did however take first opportunity to ask summer if I could have an upgrade to her spot by the window. She went off to ask the charge nurse and came back to make the move in time for dinner. Most of the afternoon and night I have been watching a Star Wars Marathon while checking email, texting, Facebooking and playing crib online with Mark and the Diane. He kicked my butt and I kicked hers. Poor Ashlée has misplaced the key to my house and mailbox which were on my Wookiee keychain! I had to tell her how to break in so she could get my watch charger and feed Missy. Poor cat must wonder why she’s been abandoned.

The outpouring of love and support has been amazing. I have had messages from 4 continents! What a blessing.

I remember the last two New Year’s Eves as I had so much fun bar tending at Key City Theatre for their opening night gala. Sweet memories…

Last night I went to bed and immediately broke out in chills. I was shivering so hard I couldn’t even bear to get up and get another blanket. Wasn’t long before I was up vomiting and needing to have. A bowel movement. This went on most of the night with tossing sleep in between. Come morning I was barely functional. Tried to have water and it made me nauseated so I talked to Rae and she convinced me to phone the clinic. They were full up and agreed I should go to the hospital. The Culligan man, Daniel was at my place proceeding with the installation of my softener and drinking water system. I was on the couch moaning when I started reaching out for a ride to the Hospital. That was complicated by who coud bring me in their vehicle. Ashlée left work to drop me there and we rode masked and with all the windows open just in case.

It didn’t take too long before I was in a bed with an IV of anti-nauseate meds. I had bloodwork, urine, x-rays and a CT scan. Eventually it all came back that I have and Illeus, a portion of my bowel that is paralyzed. The Dr doesn’t understand how it could have happened. I do like baffling professionals. He said I would hav to be admitted and be on IV saline, not eat or drink anything and they would rerun the tests in the morning.

The second Dr who came in was a surgeon although he quickly clarified that I don’t need surgery he wanted to let me know more about it. The only thing that causes it that could relate is dehydration. I know I fall in and out of the habit of drinking water. He spent an inordinate amount of time asking family history as well.

The third Dr was the one who is covering for my family one. Dr MacGyver is very kind and took time to explain things but it got super uncomfortable when he had to ask me the level of care questions. What would be my ultimate, for example intubation and electrical shock or just intubation, feeding tube or not, etc. I used to have a DNR but this was much more complicated and I barely had time to process. All I could see was my grandkids faces as he was talking and I just said do whatever is necessary at the time. I will have to revisit the options. They were also all very interested in what other abdominal surgery I have had. Seems they think they saw a cyst or something as well in the X-ray and want to do an ultrasound tomorrow. That was all a bit much.

Ashlée and Ken went to my place and fed Missy, gathered my CPAP machine, iPad and a few toiletries. Rae-Anne lent a coloring book and earbuds. I was very grateful for it all. I watched 54-40 New Years and felt happy seeing friends doing what they do best. I miss Matt, the drummer. I first met him when our kids were at the same day care 25 or so years ago on Salt Spring Island. Jake and I would joke whenever we would see Matt’s name come up on call display ‘oh excuse me I have to take this it’s the drummer from 54-40 calling.

I have tried to make the best of this by being open on Facebook to a degree and enjoying all the comments. I doubt I will make it to midnight as I had so little sleep last night. The staff here at East Kootenay Regional Hospital are really lovely. I even have a free TV thanks to Covid. It was already here and I get to use it. Don’t really love my party dress though

My friend Mark is quite the punster and enjoyed my predicament immensely. He sent me many options for my blog title tonight. I almost used our favourite Happy Poo Year!!

It was not the day I expected but it wasn’t the year we all expected either. Things could be worse, that is a guarantee. I am in good hands but I sure am hungry.

My guts are broiling. I don’t know why. I had pizza from Panago and it is my usual order twice a month or so but tonight it really left me feeling ill. I had to come home so I could take a pill and put on my jammies. I am sure it is just indigestion but it is intense.

This morning i got up in time to get a few things cleared out of the way for Justin, the plumber. He arrived early and together we got the plumbing installed for the water conditioner coming tomorrow. He also connected the water to the fridge for the ice maker and offered to come back when the dishwasher arrives if I need him to. He grew up in Cranbrook and is 34 so between Rae-Anne and Ashlée in age. We were trying to figure out if he knew them when he said “that’s amazing”. I asked what was and he said I didn’t look old enough. I kind of needed that as I am growing out my grey and currently feeling every minute of my age.

I headed into the office for a bit before Sean was available to bring me in his truck to get my other countertops and shelves. Went back to the office and started working on a file that was last done by Jackie. The first envelope I began working on had a sticky note written by her on it. I was moved. I am keeping it. (Recap: she was my closest human as well as the accountant who finessed my skills and in the spring of 2019 she had a brain aneurysm and is in a long term care home)

I also have to say I was relieved when earlier in the day the wife of my upset friend from yesterday texted to say she saw the text and I wasn’t to worry. Everything would be ok and they love me. That is a big sigh.

The Culligan man comes in the morning and I am looking forward to the last day of the year.

Ashlée did a fabulous job of the Greater Guedes Family Santa picture.

Today’s productivity was overshadowed by care for a client. I have known him for decades and twice in as many months he has said if his business stuff doesn’t get sorted out he will kill himself. I always respond and feel like I have talked him down but it is a big weight. I know that when I was closest to those feelings I could not speak the words. I hope that it is a flippant way of stating how much it is stressing him out. I am doing what I know how to do best and that is be there to listen, offer options and take the stress away by getting him caught up. I do have a pretty good sense of things and don’t feel it is an actual threat to his life, should that change, I will reach out to his wife and go from there. But for today, it haunts me.

I meant to get a lot done at the house today but I didn’t. I am strongly ok with that. Been binging ‘a million little things’. It has strong subject matter and I am liking the way it is handling the topics of depression and addiction and adults making mistakes. The plumber is coming in the morning so I should go to bed to get up early and clean or do it now which I definitely so not feel like.

I have begun to think this blog has become more of a grocery list of my daily steps. I probably should go back and read my own story to know for sure. The fact is there are so many things that run through my mind, so many opinions and moments that I am not sure I should share. Honestly, I have become extremely judgy which is the opposite of what I want to be. Most of my life I dealt with the fact I felt judged and not enough and here I am sitting all questioning. When did I become the queen of everything? I want to have deep relationships but don’t seem capable any more. I am good with surface now, even that was gone for a while. It is easier to stay separate and alone ultimately but life is long if we are lucky and there is much left to experience. It’s that imposter syndrome thing.. I am who I am and am pretty sure it’s enough most days but moments overwhelm. It’s a sense of loss that I can’t always put my finger on and at the moment it is probably exacerbated by the whole Covid thing. I have been single in every way for over 4 years now. That is the longest ever. I have had a couple dates, been offered relationship and sex but taken neither. I set the bar high for the first time in my life and now it is over my head. The fear of disappointing someone or being disappointed cripples me. I see happy people in couples around me, watch their ups and downs and routines and wonder if that is still a possibility for me or if I have had my time. I have been blessed with beautiful men in my life, almost every one of them brought something positive with them no matter how it ended. I wonder if I relied too much on my sparkle. Yep, my energy and childlike self in a get er done woman is attractive to a broken person. I finally stopped allowing broken into my life and now I am coming to realize everyone is broken somehow by my age and I may need to be less picky and more accepting.. sigh. I am self counseling right now, bear with me. I must regularly look in the mirror and acknowledge that I am happy alone but would like to have my person. I throw that into the atmosphere, if there a person that could handle my foibles, come get me!!! and I will try to handle yours, I promise.

My day completely alternated between resting my body on the couch which was still sore from the slip yesterday and working on the kitchen. I finished most of the wall covering and installed the shelf which it seems needed to be for my teapot collection which is odd since I rarely drink tea. The pink ancient one was won by my birth mom when she was in elementary school and the cup and saucer I made in Mexico when I was 13.

As soon as I saw the shelf in place I knew that was the colour I was looking for for the cupboards and the trim. I went to Home Depot and picked up two different sheens for each look. I stopped by Rae’s to pickup leftovers and combined with the mashed potatoes and gravy from Diane had a lovely dinner with a glass of wine and the umpteenth episode of ‘a million little things

took the doors off the cupboards above the stove and got a first coat on the cabinets and then I was done. I don’t have to rush things and have enjoyed some time off. My lists seem to get longer and different but are not going away. Ah well, life is not done until it is, right?

The best part of my day was picking up a tray of goodness from the Guedes household and bringing it to share with Ken and Ashlée. We decorated cookies. Ashlée did the top row, Ken the second and then mine

After a delicious nosh Ken wanted to take a nap and Ash suggested we go walk the Mistletoe Trail in the Community Forest. Unfortunately just as we neared my car in the parking lot of her building I slipped and protected my knees but did like a disco split. Ash had to help me stand up and my right hip which already suffers from my fall down the stairs in 2015 is aching. It was not going to stop me though. The weather is perfect and I am in good company. We had an amazing adventure in Newfoundland in 2014 on Boxing Day which was reminiscent of today.

After falling I really wasn’t sure I wanted to go on a long unstable walk but I am sooooooo grateful I did. I had seen pictures and knew of it but never really understood how great it was. Whatever the number of people who come together to decorate and maintain a long stretch of the community forest trail, I am grateful to every one of them. There were handmade, vintage, store bought, sparkly, reflective and so many more. The weather had wreaked havoc so there were broken trees and hidden in the snow bits but it just added to the treasure hunt. So incredible. Ran into three couples we knew and all but two groups/singles we passed said hello, happy holidays, etc. It was painful for me as my hip really started to ache but I was able to push it aside and enjoy the winter wonderland. An hour of rest air and sunshine as good for the soul.

Thank you to Cranbrook for doing winter so well, including the dual skating rinks at Baker Park

I came home and made hot chocolate with the leftover chocolate from making the reindeer and a shot of Crème de Menthe. Heated up a rice bag in the microwave and tried to curl up on the couch. I have been drinking and watching ‘a million little things’ and just tuning out. We shall see how I move in the morning.

Some people have Druncle. I have stoned Auntie who lives in the states. I love her to death and tonight was very interesting as she mentioned the early days of my life when she hated that my kid (half) brother always came first, even before me getting fed. I wonder about those pieces of the puzzle that might explain my feeling like I don’t deserve o eat until all work is done. We commiserated over being women in a male centric family. I hope to get to see her again soon.

I had lowered expectations of this day and I needn’t have. From the first minute of the day to the last I had beautiful moments. I didn’t even have a coffee before I was making breakfast Bundt cakes to take to Rae’s (2), Campbell’s and Ashlée’s. It took a couple hours but was so enjoyable. It reminded me of when I ran the restaurant on Salt Spring and would go in early to make 3 soups and cornbread. I had a system going and made my first official meals in my new stove. I delivered the Guedes ones while the next ones were baking. Had a quick visit to open gifts with the Campbells and was spoiled with a bag of treats and goodies. I think they were all happy with my choices. I will have to call them Lord & Lady Campbell now that I bought them each a square foot of land in Scotland.

Stopped back at Rae’s to drop off the 4 Litre milk I had and wouldn’t be using and had a good laugh at the spelling on Sawyer’s jammies.

Next stop was Ken and Ash’s where he and I enjoyed the breakfast and FaceTimed with Granny. Then while Ash went to do errands Ken took me for a drive in his new Subaru Legacy and he did donuts on the ice in the Western Financial parking lot. It was fun bringing out my inner Redneck.

Came home and finally opened my stocking and the lovely gifts from the Guedes can, Perreault’s and my cousin Debbi. I was very much spoiled. Puzzles, a book, a tea towel, wine and beer, and much more.

I wasn’t even especially upset that I never finished decorating my tree. There are exactly 4 decorations on it and my train, that’s it. I usually have it laden with memories but it seemed that this year it is more about the lights in the darkness than the trip down memory lane. I only shed a wee tear today when I was driving to make a delivery and saw a white truck coming towards me. I knew it was Bob, who had gotten so angry at me, he’d quit the Strata. Since then he will not even look in my direction. As he neared, I waved and he returned a joyous wave and big smile. It was a Christmas miracle. I choose to believe he knew it was me. I tried to FaceTime Jackie but there was no answer. Jake and I had a bit of a chat and I sent and received so many messages by Facebook, Messenger and text it was lovely. Even from clients. What a time. It seems people are making more of a point to connect than ever before. It’s sort of exhausting to make source you don’t miss anyone, lol.

The Guedes kitchen table broke so I offered them my drop leaf one. It has two leafs so can be as big as they need. I need to get organized and clear spaces so I hope it works for them. While they were here Roger and Gene cleared another parking space for me and released the apron of snow hanging precariously off the edge of the roof. In the meantime I made treats for Aiden and Zoë.

Dinner at the Campbells was lovely, we ate good food, had good laughs, watched the new Pixar movie on Disney channel, Soul and played Go Retro. I really liked the movie, it has these different styles that go from realistic to Picasso like. It fascinated me. Everyone seemed to enjoy the game and I was surprised how well Aiden did. Lord Sean won of course. Once Zoë went to bed we started watching Anchorman but only 33 minutes in I was falling asleep and needed to head home. As I was leaving Aiden gave me a big hug. That’s pretty great from a 16 year old and was the perfect finish to the day.

I got a decent timed start on the day without rushing too much. Headed in to work and was gobsmacked, first by the temperature that said minus 16 but radio announced feels like minus 22 and then by the beauty. I love the clean contrast of everything in the snow. A couple times today I just had to pull over and take a picture.

I am grateful for a roof over my head, a decent car that handles well on the slickery roads and an indoor job. Danika and Emmy came to my office to bring me muffins fresh out of the oven and a gift card to the frozen yogurt place that Emmy was very excited about. I also got some great prints of pictures to put in my frame at work. I enjoyed a muffin and a special coffee and got down to work.

Finished off a file and called it a day around 2:30. I need a new mask for my CPAP machine so headed over to the mall where the place that sells them is right near the entrance so I figured I could just get in and out. Turns out they were closed and so I thought I would treat myself to nails in the future by making an appointment today. I haven’t been there since February and was greeted with joy and told if I could wait 10 minutes they could do them! So I did. And it felt nice to be pampered. I went for the full pretty Holiday nails, even longer than I normally would and love them.

When I was done I picked up a few extras at Winners, including a wine bottle stopper as I seem to have misplaced mine. By that time I knew I had to get my act in gear. I had made three batches of Fruit wines, a White Sangria, Wild berry Pomegranate and Green Apple, bought crates that hold 15 bottles and stored them ready at Campbell’s. By the time I got it all home and in the house I was having trouble breathing. It was just the hernia but it also made me realize I had eaten nothing and it was nearing 5 pm. I threw a pizza in my new oven on a pan, just in case and got to making the reindeer I planned for the kids. I was annoyed that of the 20 I bought only 8 were unbroken. They turned out goofy cute though and while they were setting in the fridge I wrapped presents for family.

After dropping everything off I was to follow Ken and Ashlée to their place as they had the food that was prepared by everyone and parceled out. She pulled over at one point and then turned in the opposite direction. After heading way up the hill I began to get anxious that I was following the wrong car when suddenly I realized we were looking for Santa. I had just blocked it out as I figured I was going to miss it but it is my favourite part of the Christmas tradition here in Cranbrook. Bless her heart for leading us there.

Then it was back to their apartment where Ken had only recently come out of quarantine having come up from Kalispell. That is what allowed me to have them be my bubble for family dinner. It was great food, great company, lovely gifts and fun games. I had got them one called Go Retro and it was a lot of fun for the three of us and then Roger got You Don’t Know Jack going on his Twitch account, we watched the game on his TV on Ashlée’s laptop while playing along on our phones. Isn’t technology grand!?

Stopped at The C’s to have a bevie and grab her Bundt pan for me to make them breakfast and am so tired I wasn’t much as company. Came home and found the snow is slowly sliding off the roof but not letting go. I think it looks cool but could make a loud mess when it lets go. I have paid attention to Mistletoe and climbed into my new jammies looking forward to a good sleep and a fun day tomorrow. It is weird not to be sleeping at Rae and Rogers as I have for the last 5 years at least but it is good Bill and Deanne are so the kids have them. I am looking forward to going for a drive with Ken tomorrow in his new car. I was happy he invited me to do so.

So many moments in this day… got up and got wrapping, my garbage man was coming and i had presents for his girls and a snowman full of snacks as well. I got them all wrapped and ready to leave on the porch for him. I also wanted to bring the Campbell’s gifts to work for Sean to take home and put under their tree. Also realized I hadn’t opened my advents for a couple days! I headed out leaving a note on the garbage to check the porch. First stop was the theatre office to leave Maureen and Malachi’s gift of homemade snacks for her to take home. figured it was also time to just give her the gift certification I had bought for us to enjoy a spa visit together. With all the Provincial Health Orders I figure she should take advantage of it rather than have it go to waste waiting to be able to do it together. It would have been nice though…

On the ways to town at my last usual left the beautiful tree on the corners had been broken by the weight of it all. On my way home tonight the entire tree had been cut down and taken away, so sad

A person in the building who as of today is officially a new client gave me a gift wrapped in paper that matched my shirt, we had a good laugh.

I worked my butt off doing multi-purpose Marnée jobs and finally filed my last deadline filing to CRA for 2020!!! That felt good. I was sad when Sean and Brett and Zoë left though as it was the last official office contact for the year. I am used to having a bevy at that moment with whomever is there. I received a text from Matt, my garbage man that there was something left for me and not to stub my toe. When I returned home there was a stack of parcels from Tupperware and the Carpenters as well as a special bottle from Matt. The gift from my Bella Bella friends was definitely Extra. I am in awe.

I stopped at the pet store to pick up a can of cat food to see if Missy will eat anything other than Fancy Feast. After that I met Ken and Ashley to take their photos for the Christmas collage. It was fun and they are my bubble for Christmas Eve which I am looking forward to. Stopped to get gas and discovered when I went in to but washer fluid that the Safeway gas bar sells milk! I needed some for the Christmas breakfast i am making.I had a coupon from groceries so my gas was under a buck a litre! Another Christmas miracle!

I got home and wished friends a happy Tibbs eve and was suddenly overwhelmingly verklempt. I reached out to Mark. I don’t usually because I know he suffers as I do but tonight I wanted to hear his voice and see his face. HE ANSWERED! Now we are talking a serious Christmas miracle. We texted and the FaceTimed for so long that I am now Tibbs drunk and have spent my time with a dear friend. I miss him so. Our inner children are good friends. It was so good to see his face and I hated having to say goodbye. I promised him I would be Maudlin as I have been enjoying the Crown Royal. I only promise you that I hope to have spelled and parsed well enough for you to understand and that I may read it over tomorrow but likely will not. It is. As it is. I shall take all my emotions and go get some sleep. Tomorrow I may or may not get much work done…. oh, I forgot to mention that Mark and I used to play Little Big Planet. I am Sack Girl and he is Sack Boy.

Awoke to winter having arrived with a vengeance. I could tell by the sounds or lack of as I opened my eyes, confirmation came when a friend commented on Facebook. I leapt up to look out and see a winter wonderland.

Missy so desperately wanted to go out but was clearly not impressed with what she found.

I geared up and went out to begin clearing everything. usually i clear my whole parking area but after an hour of trees, inflatables, tree, camper and walk, one space was all I had in me.

Off to work in my shoveling clothes, no make up but a great hat, hoodie and mask.

Pretty quiet today, especially with only Sean and I in our new wing. Somehow though with Dr appointment for prescription renewal, searching online for a few kitchen items and then a lovely FaceTime with Jackie, the morning was gone. It was so great to see her the same as I last did. I got her laughing with my light up had and then taking her to task for looking for sympathy by getting everything possible. She and I have always had a black sense of humour. I felt better seeing her. Jake picked up some Jaegermeister for her son, Reid for Christmas and will deliver it for me. It was the drink we shared with his mom.

I worked until it was time to run to Safeway and pick up my pills, grabbed all the makings for Christmas morning breakfasts and some takeout Chinese for dinner while I was there.

Headed back to the office to work on a file until it was time for the CCT Board meeting. It went well although I did find it odd that the show approved for May is a one woman show when I was told the show I was interested in directing wasn’t the best choice as it was 5 women, no men. Ah well, not the time. I will eventually direct again.

Good thing the meeting was on as the janitor, Jessica had accidentally locked her self out. I was the last one there to let her in. Came home with great intentions to get things done but basically got gifts organized that need to be given tomorrow. I had fun wrapping.

Also realized I was behind on my advent. Got an extra from Rae

I love the little cord guy!