There was a strange snow coming down that apparently is called corn snow but was more like a bean bag chair had burst in the mansion in the sky. I dropped off two bags of empties to a lady in need and then swung by Mom’s to leave her a message in the snow. She came to the window when I called her and said, ‘oh thanks’. And that was it, lol. I’m not sure she remembered it was Valentine’s Day.
The day was pretty full and productive at work as usual. Dealing with last minute client issues rather than what I had planned always grinds a little but I got the worst of it out of the way and will be back on the task list tomorrow.
The evening was full of love and lovely people as it was the fundraising event For the Love of Gordon. I worked the bar with Éveline and there was a lot of business for a Tuesday night! Everyone was in such a good mood. There was a silent auction and I bid on and won a picture for my brother’s 60th birthday. That isn’t for three years but when you see the perfect gift for the guy who has everything and the proceeds are going to support a dear friend, you take the leap. My half brother was born in the St Eugene Hospital which later became the Tudor House hotel. I partied there back in the day. It was a crazy biker bar. Once upon a time I was watching a documentary about the building when they said the Tudor house started life as an insane asylum. Of course, as the perfect big sister, I had to call and tease him about being born there. The beauty of this limited edition piece of art is that it is framed in wood from the original building. How special is that?!!! Now I will have to see if I can wait to give it to him for his 60th or if he will get it for his 57th, this year.
Before going to bed last night I made food for today. It was yummy! I can’t wait to have the rest of it tomorrow. Worked my butt off, even took on a new client, sigh. He is very sweet and I have done some work for his son’s company in the past. Had a visit from another client who has lung cancer and it is not looking hopeful. The chemo didn’t work. I am very sad for Peter as he has a young child at home. I had to go out to his car to see him as he just doesn’t have the strength and is on oxygen. Another one around my age… what is going on in this world?!
Straight from my desk to a pretty productive Board meeting as we prepare for the season of Summer Sounds and our upcoming AGM. It will be strange not to have Maureen with us any longer. Just me and the boys… sigh. I did take up the offer to go with them for a visit after and we ended up at Boston Pizza as most places were closed. I was so grateful as I hadn’t eaten since my bowl of chowder at lunch. Some wings and rings filled the void and will provide good leftovers for tomorrow as well. We all laughed and talked about musicians and told stories. It was fun and a great way to end the night but I have to get to sleep earlier tonight as tomorrow promises to be even more full!
I was up and getting chores done and then headed to my shift at Arby’s. It was quite enjoyable as people seem to be in good moods on a Sunday morning. Afterward, I came home and finished my Diamond Dot pic and prepped to start another before heading to Bill and Deanne’s where Lukas had planned a Super Bowl party. Rae-Anne, Deanne, Gene and I worked on a puzzle in the kitchen while the rest were in the living room watching. I did watch Rihanna’s performance and that was good. I like that she was fully dressed too, lol. I think she is one of the most beautiful women alive. The constant hugs from the boys were good for filling the tank, the food was nummy and the company was great. I left just after half time to bring Gene to work and came home to work on my new Diamond Dot and continue watching Nine Perfect Strangers which is oddly compelling and has a great cast.
I like the new kit which was 43.99 regular and on sale for 19.99 when we were in Drumheller. It turns out it is very good quality and even comes with wee ages to put the remainder of the dots in.
Didn’t get to sleep until the wee hours so got up late. Did some chores and then settled to do Diamond Dot project while watching the last of Love is Blind. I find the concept fascinating. Showered and got ready for Tiffany to come over and have me braid her hair in advance of her night out to the Drag Show at the Eagles Hall. I did the initial braids which were complicated by her fine hair but they turned out well and she went home too make buns and use glitter hairspray. I hope they stayed in and that she had an awesome time.
After she left I made English Beef Stew and it was delicious.
I enjoyed it while rewatching the first half of Wakanda Forever before heading to Key City Theatre to volunteer in the upper bar with Sandra for the Burlesque show tonight. There will be so much sex happening in this city what with all the feels stirred up by two interesting shows on the same night. There were a lot of drunk people, and for the first time I had to let someone know I wouldn’t be able to serve them any more. They actually came back and asked us to dump the last one she bought as it was too much for her. Good call. I like working with Sandra, we have the same work ethic and good chats.
Once home again, I watched the last half of Wakanda Forever and was pleased with it. It will be interesting to see how they take the story from here. I should probably try to get some sleep earlier as I have and Arby’s shift from 11-2 tomorrow. I then want to upload a stack of CDs I have gathered from different shows over the last while to my iTunes account so I can enjoy them. It’s been nice to listen to my own music rather than the radio lately. Apparently Lukas really wants us to have a Super Bowl party at his Père and Granny’s house, lol.
First stop was onsite for a client and then buckled down to get as much work done as possible before my 3:30 meeting with Steve to go over our budget and reporting for FPPAS. That took 3 hours but it is done and we both have a good handle on it for next time. I picked up a container of dinner from Rae-Anne, came home to eat it and get ready to go to opening night at The Stage Door, put on by first time Director, Nathaniel Leigh for Cranbrook Community Theatre. The Importance of Being Earnest, set in modern life was really entertaining and had some very clever timing and bits. Ben Phillips was simply mesmerizing and the opening credits were brilliant. Everyone gave very solid performances and I am so glad I went. It was one of the best opening nights I have attended. Afterward, I was trying to decide if I would stay for cake and celebration when I received a text from Jonas that he and Gene needed a ride home. It made the decision for me and I am rather glad as I wasn’t really in a small talk kind of mood. I did have time to chat with a few friends outside who only fill my tank and that was great. Now I am home kicking back and glad to be in my jammies after a long week.
I left home in my slippers, thankfully noticing just after I locked the front door. It could have been a negative start to the day but I laughed and enjoyed the moment so it actually started things right.
There were many draws on my attention today but I got so much done before I got the text to cover a shift from 5-7 at Arby’s tonight. I had a good time, cleaned like a machine and chatted with the customers. Two ladies were very sweet and waved me over to say they saw I was in training and thought i was doing excellent and should ask Jesse, the owner if I could get a job at Encore Brewing when it opens, lol. I proceeded to tell them about the Founders Club and they were very interested and wondered if the former bowling league people should be invited to join. When I went back behind the counter Ashlée removed the ‘in training’ from my name-tag and I went back to the ladies and said, ‘look, I graduated!” They were so happy to have been there for that. That is one of the reasons I will miss working there, the connection with the public.
When I left work I decided to treat myself to a small Mint Chocolate shake before we don’t have them anymore. It was worth the calories!
After that shift it was back to the office to get a little more work done while I waited for the 8 pm Zoom meeting of the VIMF coordinators. I sure love being able to be part of them now. It is good to see the faces and hear what’s up at every stage of planning. My crew is slowly building and I look forward to July!
Sure did feel all the bits of my personality today, lol.
Today was intense concentration as I worked over the phone with a client on their file. I worked right through lunch and just had it before leaving to go to Key City to volunteer in the upper lobby bar for Ballet Jorgen and their performance of Cinderella. It was a full house with many kids, especially little girls in pretty dresses. I did pop in to have a quick look and the costumes were amazing. It was lovely to hear the kids laughing and enjoying it.
I can’t wait to listen to the gift that arrived in today’s mail thanks to Doug!
My grandad was 57 when I was born, only 54 when his first Grand child was born, He and my Nana looked after me for the first two years of my life after my mother and sister drowned. I was 44 when my first grand child was born and he will be eligible to get his learners drivers license not long after my 60th. I was just thinking that I was blessed to have a crazy inspiring Nana and a patient kind Grandad who were always available any time I needed them, wanted to sleep over, or just hang out. They believed in me but also doted on me. I think this made my cousins jealous. On the other side of the family, my Grandma also loved me and when she gave up her license, she gave me her car as I was a single mom with Jake. This caused ripples in my relationship with the cousins on that side. I get it, I know that most people, including myself for a decade, didn’t know about the trauma that occurred when I was only 3 months old. I feel that my Grandparents, on both sides, were trying to make up for the loss of my primary bond. I can only imagine how hard that was while suffering their own terrible loss.
I look at my own style of grand-parenting and know it is not the same. I love my grand kids very much but I don’t say yes very often when they ask to stay over. I know I should as the time is fleeting but I also know they have a close, more typical relationship with their Père and Granny. And honestly, I do better with them one on one.
Today I received a call from Rae-Anne that Will’s good friend had broken his arm while ice skating and Will was pretty upset. They would be back at the school soon. I stopped the payroll I was working on and went to find him in his classroom. He was doing okay but I could tell he was glad to see me and we had a very good long hug. The substitute teacher mouthed to me that Will is a gentle soul. When he was done, he went back to his desk and I headed back to the office with tears in my eyes. I took all his stress and all his love into me and I was just grateful to have the time to go.
Back at the office I was kept busy on a phone call with a client, fixing their file and was starting to get a sore tailbone from sitting so much when I finally remembered to use my stand up desk. I was so much happier and look forward to continuing tomorrow. Did I mention that I bought myself a pretty serious birthday present? I am now the 39th member of the Encore Brewing Founders Club. Details to follow 🙂
Harissa spice was tasty but may be regretted later.
It is windy out and there are strange noises. It is funny after so many years have passed that I still miss the movement of the houseboat I grew up in. Whenever I hear the wind, I expect to feel it as well. It sends me down a rabbit hole of memories, good ones and not so good ones, but always ones I am happy to revisit for they are a part of me. I have spent my life believing that everything in it has happened for a reason. I suppose that is a trauma defense in some ways but it has worked for me. The problem as I contemplate nearing my 60th birthday is that I wonder what it has all been for. Besides living a very full, very passionate life, what have I done to make a difference? Have I really changed anyone’s life in a positive way, have I left a legacy? I suppose the best I can hold onto is the legacy of the next generations. I do have 3 adult kids who are making a difference in the world and a brood of grandkids who hold so much promise. I just hope to stick around long enough to see the fruit, to be truly grateful for this life and know the choices I sometimes stumbled into.. were the right ones.
For the first time in as long as I can remember there was absolutely nothing on my calendar, so that is what I did. All I did all day was binge trash TV, do an entire puzzle and began a Diamond dot pic I got for a gift over a year ago. It was perfectly relaxing, the biggest stress being not letting myself reply to texts, emails and messages unless they were super time sensitive and even then I refrained from checking very often. I did get a nice call from Ash. To see what I would like to do for my 60th in April as plans need to be made depending on my hopes. I said I would let it rattle around for a bit and let her know. Later in the day, Rae called to download which I am glad she does. It makes me happy to be there for her. I decided that I would like to go away for the weekend after my birthday with my three kids. I know Jake will be here a few weeks before for Emmy’s birthday but maybe he can get a cheap flight to Calgary and join us. I have a voucher for a resort in Alberta and am going to see if I can book two nights and see if they have a spa. Spending time with the girls, uninterrupted would be so great and maybe if Encore is open we can do family dinner and bowling with all the grandkids, my Mom, etc on the actually birthday. Something to look forward to for sure!
I clearly needed to catch up on sleep as I got nearly another 12 hours! I was still puttering in my jams when Rae-Anne asked if I wanted to go to the open house at Encore Brewing. I met her there and was gobsmacked at all they have done with the old bowling alley here. It will now be a restaurant/bar/music venue, arcade, bowling alley and brewery! They took out half the lanes, leaving 8 and repurposed the wood from the lanes as counters and stage. So looking forward to hanging out there and hopefully bringing in some acts as well. They kept the old pin setters which will be run by new electronics and even managed to get their hands on the old plexiglass from around the arena to use as windows which of course I think is awesome.
I had to buy a shirt, and on the way home I also stopped at Morchella Market which was saved from shutting down by a purchaser. I like their selection of non-alcoholic options and just had to have the glasses as well.
I was home long enough to get chores done and then picked up Bill, Deanne and Ashlée to go for Sushi before heading to Symphony of the Kootenays featuring Daniel Lapp. I was thrilled to learn Maria Elliot played violin with them which was just an added bonus to a truly delightful evening. Daniel is crazy good and entertaining, the SOTK was incredible to watch and listen to, much to my surprise, I will admit. I have never been to the symphony before and really enjoyed it. I knew they were top quality musicians, just didn’t think I would enjoy it so much. There was a very good house of all ages. After, we met Daniel front of stage and had a wee reunion as we know him from Vancouver Island MusicFest and Ashlée had taken the photo of him that he then bought from her and uses on his website and other media platforms. I brought the canvas one and she her print to get him to sign and we all got excited to see each other again in July when he comes and plays the Fest. All and all a fabulous day that filled my tank.
I did get a lot done today, and my mood stayed relatively stable with my mind only moderately wandering. I was not happy that I didn’t notice a union apprentice rate change that happened in Sept 2021 so I had to calculate the retro pay and union due difference. Thankfully it went well. I worked on MusicFest as I had to respond to the new applicant as fast as possible. He is the first new person this year and has extensive experience volunteering at Vancouver Folk Music Festival which had to close down.
I got done just in time to come home for a small break before picking up Tiffany to go for food and then the Hockey game. I met her as my server and the bar manager at The Blind Pig. She messaged me last night but I didn’t respond until today and we had a good laugh when we realized we live in the same park. Off we went to Hot Shots where I used my gift cards from a client to buy us delicious salads and raspberry sodas. The game was good, we won. The Bucks scored on the Arby’s Minute so any one can get free medium curly fries by showing their ticket in the next 48 hours. It was a nice evening out and then I came home and finished my current puzzle.
Good Morning, I have just had almost 12 hours sleep and am having a bit of breakfast before getting ready for the office. Funny, I would have chosen to stay home today but I didn’t bring my laptop.
So yesterday…
The first sadness was learning that Gordon isn’t responding well to the chemo, that he had to be taken by ambulance and is getting rehydrated with his lovely Rhonda by his side. Fuck Pancreatic Cancer
The first shock was learning of an unconfirmed report that George died some time in the last two weeks. He was the janitor in the space I work and because of my late hours we shared many a conversation, an occasional meal and many good street meets since he stopped working there. I considered him a friend and it hits closer to home as he was a year younger than I am, a fact of which he often reminded me. I hope to learn more. Fuck whatever took him
I was feeling grateful that the the last of the T4s that I am directly responsible for are done and was working on VIMF email when the news came that Thom had passed peacefully that afternoon. I knew it was coming, was somewhat prepared but in the end, was broken. There is a special relationship that can result from being in a play together. The roles he and I played in The Tin Woman by Sean Grennan brought us together as grieving parents. We both fell into the roles and bonded as friends during it. I am so sad for Eleanor, their daughters and grandkids. I will miss our Santa. Fuck aggressive glioblastoma
I found myself having an anxiety attack, that I needed to FaceTime with my other ill friend just to see his face and know he is still doing ok. I did and he is and that was somewhat comforting. Fuck whatever it is causing his problems.
The only relief from it all was going to be sleep so I poured a hot THC bathbombed bath, ate a wee special cookie from a friend, put on Wakanda Forever and tried to relax. Seems I did, as I only made it half way through the movie (which I will have to watch again) before I was out and into bed. It wasn’t even 9 pm and I was glad to have turned off my ringer. I awoke momentarily at 11:30, usual bed time, and then my alarm was going off. I even snoozed it and ultimately slept almost 12 hours. I feel better over all. Grief is tough. For me, I can deeply miss those I don’t see very often, the most as there is always the expectation of running into them, of reconnecting. Instead there is a void created. As I pointed out to a friend, it would be easy to avoid if I didn’t make these connections in the first place… but what a sad life that would be.
Fuck it all, I’ll take the grief, as it is proof of love.
I didn’t sleep well, somewhat because my cat is too cuddly right now and I overheat. Being awake one last time before my alarm, I decided to get on the treadmill. Today would be the day I buckle down with Noom again and lose those last 23 pounds or so. It is also the first day of Dry February. I put Strange World on the TV. I had started watching it on Disney+ some time ago and forgot about it. After getting a wack of steps in, I decided to have a nice breakfast and lounge back in bed to finish watching it. Peach yogurt with fresh blueberries, a couple of cups of black coffee and a decent animated movie started off the month just perfectly relaxed. The last clip of the movie was a lovely aha moment as well.
I got a lot done in my busy day but it wasn’t stressed. I seem to have learned not to make other peoples problems into mine. Well, I managed that for now anyway. I had a nice salad for lunch and then came home to chicken lasagna.
Now I am watching episodes of Black Mirror, enjoying pots of tea and pistachios. Seems boundaries and regimens are good for me. Now let’s see if they are good for my physical and mental health.
Not the best sleep again last night, likely because today would be the last day of the month and I would need to ensure I didn’t miss any filings. It is funny how I have spreadsheets and lists, software that reminds me and yet I still have fear after all these years. A lot of the stress comes from the items that are not on the list, and the fact that I haven’t done groceries for fresh fruit, have skipped my Hello Fresh and know my system is suffering. Rae called me at one point to bemoan the fact that she had not only lost the lid to one of my special glass dishes at Christmas but now had managed to drop my queen sized inflatable mattress after it was left out in the cold and it broke. She wanted to just give me money and never borrow anything again. Of course, my philosophy is don’t lend something, including money, unless you are willing to not get it back. That did not come across in my gut or my response as I was in the middle of a tough payroll and I had wanted to sell the mattress to get the money to buy one that would fit the back of my car perfectly. I had to get up and go for a walk, clear my head and then call her back to explain. She, being the awesome human she is, immediately found the perfect fit for my car, at a great price and ordered it for me. I really do look forward to getting it! Win, win. Too bad it caused us both stress in the moment. Honestly, today was a day that left me thinking I would like to win the lottery after all and just let all the chips fall. I care too much about what I do, which makes me good at it, but also has me on a constant treadmill on a steep incline. January is the worst month of all the months and I am enjoying a lovely Islay scotch after puzzling for a bit and will tuck in for a hopefully good sleep before tackling February, the next most complicated month. Once the T4s are all out of the way, I will be able to breathe again.
I did stop at the Guedes house for dinner which was delicious and then stocked up on groceries before coming home. I shall eat much better this week, which will be even more important as I go into Dry February!
I worked my tush off today and managed to get everyone filed in time. It is a huge relief and I just want to sleep all day tomorrow but that isn’t an option. I switched to Jetpack from WordPress and it seems there is an issue with subscribers as two people reached out to see if I am ok as they hadn’t gotten notices and was I still writing. I am sooooo grateful to this safety net of friends. Not only did I discover the system had changed but much more importantly, my wellbeing is in good hands.
I had a very sad update about my dear friend, Thom. He has been moved to palliative care today and won’t be with us long as he has very aggressive brain tumors. He has been a good friend and I will miss him when he’s gone. Actually, I miss him already.
I launched my event today and that was a positive moment. Can’t wait for Wednesday when the tickets go on sale!!
My neighbour and I went to the matinee of The Whale today. It is a stunning portrayal of so many deep subjects. I found myself completely engrossed in the intensely honest performances of a very tough subject. We are a result of the trauma that occurs in our lives. It touched me deeply and made me revisit some places I avoid. The damage caused by many organized religions in the name of God, the breakdown of relationships, the coping mechanisms we turn to.. the pain of parents divorcing, the strength of true bonds.. all heart wrenchingly touched on. I highly recommend this movie.
After a short mall shop, we returned home where I finished my laundry and began a new puzzle that Rae had given me.
It was then time to head to Key City to volunteer for my old friend Barb Phillip’s show Lost Marbles: Diary of a Breakdown. We knew each other at a very dramatic time of our lives in the early 90’s when we were both seekers at a Born Again Christian church. Our last children were born the same year and I did not remember the Psychosis, the mental break she suffered as I was dealing with my own struggles with depression and bullying in the name of God. Listening to her tonight touched my heart. She gives voice to the silence, the shame of mental illness. I am so glad I was there tonight, and am proud of us both for who we are and where we are in our lives now. I envy that she has had her husband Kevin by her side over 36 years now, an ever present strength for her.
I feel the need to feel the feels, to allow myself to know that the things that were stirred up today are well earned, will once again be put back in the box of memories and that they made me strong and caring. The sun will rise and fall again tomorrow. I will go on.
Before I went to bed last night I put my weighted throw between my top sheet and comforter. I didn’t even need to read before falling into a good sleep and only woke once around 3:45 before waking naturally around 8:15. It was just what I needed. Missy even stayed sleeping at my feet so I must not have tossed and turned.
The morning broke clear skied and beautiful and there had only been another inch or so of snow which was also lightweight compared to the day before. I showered, drank coffee and then puzzled while we had our ABC Zoom call. I listened for a while and then decided to get outside and shovel, especially the accumulation on my sheds and trees. The plow driver kindly took away the berm I created whilst shoveling last night.
I came back in and puzzled again before it was time to head to Key City Theatre where I was an usher for the Ideas Bobert kids show. It was sweet to hear all the kids enjoying themselves. My favourite part was when she called up 3 kids to form a band. They were so on he beat it was amazing.
I admit, I came home and puzzled again until it was time to go to the hockey game. Tracey and I laughed and caught up during a very tight game. The Bucks were playing the Penticton Vees. The Vees far outshot us but Airy, our goalie kept it down to only one goal in, which unfortunately tied it up. It went in to 3 on 3 OT and them a shootout that went 5 players deep before they scored their second goal and won. It was fun and exciting. There are a large group of early 20 something’s the sit in our section including my salon gal, Ireland. Tonight they were in our row and the one below so for the first time someone was sitting beside me. She was at the far end of the row below so I texted her to say I was one of the posse tonight. She replied that there would be an initiation and that it would involve drinking a King can of Bud Light. I replied, challenge accepted and we had a good laugh. It wasn’t until after the game that I found out Ashlée had been sitting up behind us. Weird she didn’t let me know at the time. I commented at one point that the game was all action but no scoring… just like my sex life. We had a good laugh but it was also sad… haha
I came home and finally finished the puzzle. There are three pieces missing sadly. I suspect the cat walking on it over the last 12 months kicked some pieces off that I didn’t know about and they were swept up by the Roomba. The photo has a AA battery for size perspective. It took a long time with the summer hiatus but I did enjoy doing it. I think I will glue it together and make a mat.
triumphgal 