I seemed to be glued to the spot, paralyzed by lists. There was much to do but I hadn’t even loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen this week. It’s the result of news, bad or good, huge emotional hits take a toll and I have to allow my brain to heal as much as my body. I have to remind myself to be happy that I don’t have Cancer and that April will soon be over. I do hate wishing Easter and my birthday away. I finally got organized and cleaned and made a list. I decided I had best head to Walmart and get Easter supplies and groceries. I actually enjoyed wandering around and picking up toys and treats for the 19 other people that will be at the hunt tomorrow. Seems the ritual is back in full force. Stopped at the cannabis store to pick up a bath bomb for tonight. The one they had is Chocolate hash berry. Got home and it was warm and nice out compared to the overnight temps. Tracy and I went for a walk up the block and then I came home and labeled all the gifts and got organized. I was making air fried fries and a batch of gravy to enjoy with the cheese curds I’d bought for a nummy poutine dinner when Jake and his girlfriend, Daniella arrived for a quick pop in before getting Emmy. Dani seems very easy going and I always appreciate a person who looks me in the eye and smiles easily. They had to rush off but I look forward to spending more time with them tomorrow. I have been watching my PVR collection of this seasons SNL episodes. Now, it is time to run that tub and ease the aches and pains. Tomorrow will be for work and lists again until we all get together. I am looking forward to it!
I think I got a lot done today… it was busy anyway and all mid-month deadlines were met. I was at the Drs for noon and he took out the stitches and said I am good to go. I can walk on the treadmill, not run, move around, not exercise and don’t lift still for another 2 weeks. He noted my concerns about the temperature swings and sleep issues and was going to send a letter to the clinic in case it isn’t just a stage of healing and passes. After the long day yesterday I had to take it easier today but did go for a long walk in the beautiful sun with my neighbour when I got home. As we were near the utility shed in our park, she stopped to read the bulletin and I saw a note from a guy saying he had found keys! Can’t remember exactly when it was but over a month and a half ago when I walked on the snow and ice to our community mailbox two trailers over. The next morning when I went to open my office I realized they were gone. For days and days I ripped everything apart and regularly retraced my steps as the melt happened. I even messaged the strata secretary in case anyone turned them in. By now I have a new fob for the client’s bank and a rekeyed mail box but I got my Chewiee back!!! The man who’s name I awkwardly didn’t ask said he had no idea where they came from when he noticed his kids playing with them. Seems they had found them and not told him but I am glad he did the right thing. It also makes me feel better as I have never before completely lost a set of keys and this concerned me. I can still say I haven’t, lol
Today was the most normal April day yet. It was -7 when I left for work, but no snow down low so that was a blessing. I got so much done on so many different files and that was a super accomplishment. After a quick dinner at the office I headed to Key City Theatre for the next of the Winter Ale Series that we are co-presenting with the theatre. They were short people as Covid is making it’s rounds again. I was very grateful that all the volunteers and staff wore masks. I tried to go to the hockey game on Saturday night without one but didn’t make it long before putting one on again as it was so crowded and no mandates any more. I think I am still comfortable wearing one until we are sure what this 6th wave looks like. The night was fabulous, I trained a new volunteer, Anne and she was very nice and helpful. The opening musician was Heather Gemmel and I was super impressed with her. She plays many stringed instruments and has a unique voice. She wrote the song North Star Burning about the arson that burned the chairlift on opening day at the ski hill in Kimberley this season. The headliner was the The John Wort Hannam band and every time I think I don’t like country style music, along comes a singer songwriter to prove me wrong. I bought his most recent album and over time got to speak with each of the band members and have them sign it. Such a friendly, talented group of guys! Was nice to stand around chatting and was amused that John wants to play VIMF. He said to put in a good work with Doug Cox but I know that doesn’t pull any weight. He gets hit up by everyone. I do think both performances were festival worthy for sure and would love to see them there. All and all a very good day and I feel spent but not in a bad aching way as I was careful as I could be not to overdo it. Tomorrow I get my stitches out, yay! I have a lot of work to do still and haven’t tried a lot of stairs or exercise yet. I do have to remind myself that things are still healing inside as well.
Set an alarm just in case this morning and woke half an hour before it. This was good as I was slogging a bit still. I gathered my bits to make lunch later and bid Missy and Harry good-bye for now.
I had a very good and productive day at the office. Feeling more comfortable I was able to concentrate and get much done. I stayed until 6:30 ticking off many things before heading to drop off a cheque for the theatre at the Parks and Rec office at the pool. I like when I am able to do business on the way to and from the office. Missy was glad to see me home as she was apparently about to starve to death! Now I am parked on the couch enjoying Bridgerton. A nice end to the day, indeed.
I did enjoy that lunch of a baked potato with British beans and cottage cheese on top. Poor man’s delicacy.
I woke from a deep sleep to a strange sound and realized suddenly it was my Roomba and when I asked Google what time it was it was 11:16. I flew out of bed and hurried to shower and head to the office. I spent the day on one detailed file including payroll and data entry. It was nearly 7 when I finished and came home. I feel like going to bed already and wonder why I feel terrible. I was able to answer a few email but not get anything else done. I am making something to eat and calling it a day early, hoping I feel better tomorrow.
I spent a lazy morning in bed watching Disney channel before getting a few chores done, showering and moving to the dining room table to spread out the 3000 piece Marvel puzzle to it’s full dimensions and then finished the edges and began moving things into place. Over the afternoon I managed to get a lot done. I am enjoying it and was very engrossed when I heard a sound outside. I looked out from the porch and saw nothing. A few minutes later I got a message from England and a picture that my birthday present had been delivered. I have the box set aside and will wait for the day. Technology is really quite amazing. My guts are tetchy but I have less discomfort today than yesterday which is a relief. I made a creative salad with romaine, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, cucumber, cherry tomatoes and blueberries then poured some blueberry sauce over it to take to Bill and Deanne’s for Sunday dinner with all the family. We had a nice visit, I helped Roger purchase tickets to Greta Van Fleet in Calgary in August and then Aymo and Golan helped me take my recycle to the bin. They are good boys and it is hard to imagine they are leaving in two months. The constant cycling of bonus Grandsons has been interesting. Some, from years ago, I am still in connection with. The people who run the International student program really put a lot into finding good fitting homes. I didn’t do any actual work today but my brain is obsessing about tomorrow already. Yes, April is here in full force… it is time to get back to longer work days so I can get through it all.
I gave my body a rest and stayed hanging out in bed watching the 6 episode series of Hawkeye which I enjoyed very much. Took a break to FaceTime with Emmy which is always a good laugh. After that I showered and headed to the office to take care of MusicFest business and start on a complicated payroll for Monday. I popped back home to pick up my neighbour Tracey and head to Game 6 of the Bucks first round in the playoffs. When we got settled, Tracey said she would but the season ticket next to mine so we could go to games together next year. We kept trying to purchase them but the place was crazy busy due to the mandates being over and the attendance was 3002 where the last two games were under 1800. I was very uncomfortable risking germs and taking a hit in the gut so put on my mask and kept my arms down in front of me like a Soccer player in a line. The game was intense and went into overtime. We lost in the end but it was very exciting. I am feeling a little sore from it all but my feet are up now and there is no alarm necessary tomorrow. I hope to feel well enough to puzzle and rest for the day before going to Bill and Deanne’s for dinner. I am glad I have salad supplies to bring to contribute.
I spent the day on volunteer activities so as not to have my commitments fall through the cracks. Better to get them off the list asap. It was just before 5 when I rushed out to get the tickets to tomorrow night’s game that Nikki from the office had won from Royal LePage and can’t use. I’ve invited my neighbour Tracey and she is happy to go. I’ve been spending the evening watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I do enjoy it.
This morning began with admiring what Spring was popping out of the ground and ended with a parcel in the mail from my besties in the UK. A gift of my time during the day was bookended by gifts from nature and afar. Pretty great trade off!
Had a short visit with Mom before she headed homeward and I headed officeward. Worked on only one file most of the day doing online training. I really feel poorly today as the bruising area seems even larger, even found one on the back of my upper arm. I left the office before 3 and dropped my prints to be framed. saved $70 by finding a clearance custom frame and chose the mat and layout. Came straight home after picking up my new readers and some gut meds. Had a nice dinner that Jeanne had brought and am watching TV in a comfortable position. Not sure if I’ll go in tomorrow.
Was in earlier today and worked on one file exclusively to get it as ready as possible for audit at this stage. Was good to just concentrate on one thing and move on to the next tomorrow. I left around 3 and met mom back at my place. She is staying over tonight and heading home tomorrow. We watched all the available episodes of Modern Love that I hadn’t seen in season two yet and ordered from Family Thai. I went to pick up our food and we settled in. Once dinner was done I popped to Safeway to pick up some fruit and veggies and… chips. I have been craving salty snacks. When I got back we watched Spencer. I was more than half way through when I realized it was Kristen Stewart. After this and The Batman, I am done with the Twilight actors, lol.
I really had a hard time at work when my system decided to try to purge. The whole experience was exhausting and I barely had energy to get back to my desk. Surgery really takes it’s toll on everything autonomic. And by this evening, now a week after, the stitches are itching and the bruising is fully at the surface. It is so hard not to scratch!!!!!!
It seems Missy is obsessed with the stick bug colony as she never has before. I think it is because some are so big that she notices them moving for the first time.
I was super happy when my Wookiee the Chew prints showed up today. Thanks to Colleen and Mike in Oregon who let me have them sent to them and forwarded them on.
I had a better sleep, a rough morning and eventually ended up at the office. I have come to understand that those who I don’t see think I am working from home and those who see me at the office don’t all understand I shouldn’t be there. I should have blocked off this whole week but I am too obligated to my clients. I worked until 3:30 and then knew I had to head home to rest if I was going to make it through the hockey game. It is game 4 of the first round playoffs against Prince George, the place where my Mom and sister are buried. That is a dark thought but it did keep creeping in the last two nights. I once again enjoyed my time with the Fam, chatting with Ash and watching out team win 5-3. It was an exciting game. I was able to sit through it as I wore different clothes with the waste bands in a better spot. My back has finally stopped hurting. Every day seems a bit better but I still wear out easily. I hope not to work too long tomorrow. Mom is going to come stay overnight before heading home.
Today is Emmy’s 5th birthday. It is funny to realize that people talk about her the way they did me when I was young. I look forward to seeing what she will take on in the world.
I didn’t set an alarm and was still at work at my usual time. I had 3 companies payroll to do but got lost in the minutiae and suddenly (it seemed) it was nearly 2, my body was hurting and I was hungry. That spoke to the level of concentration I had to make sure there were no errors. The brain fog is lifting but the body is still weak. I know, I know, it is too soon to expect more. It is just the way that I deal with things. I came home and had the other half of the sandwich Rae-Anne had sent me, got into comfy clothes and put my feet up and watched a couple episodes of the second season of Bridgerton.
I realized I needed to get ready to go to the first playoff game of the Bucks against the Prince George Spruce Kings and I almost didn’t. I knew I could take it easy and really wanted to go so I headed off. I am glad I did as I had a great distanced visit with the family and we won in a shutout! It was exciting and I look forward to tomorrow night. I was getting sore by the third period but managed okay. Ashlée brought me my birthday present early and it cracks me up. The perfect puzzle was found for me!
Ash in the penalty box
I think I will sleep well tonight and I have hope to accomplish much in a short visit to the office tomorrow. It is odd to not set an alarm on a work day but I am allowing my body what it needs. I have faith that I will get through this tax season month in a timely manner.
Uncle Lawrence made my favourite cookies and dropped them off today. I shall need to monitor my intake!
Slept interrupted again last night, am going to try on my side tonight. My morning was enjoyed hanging with Mark playing some games before he had to take off to do some errands and head home. It was nice to have home here and he was a good guest and helper. After he left I used an aid to make it possible to have a bowel movement as I was cramping up very bad and didn’t want to end up back at the hospital. Thankfully I finally did but it left me quite exhausted for the rest of the day. Mom showed up for a visit and then Jeanne who brought along muffins and soup and other delicious items for the fridge. We all had a nice visit and then they headed off. I watched some shows on my PVR and then got a message from Rae-Anne that she was sending me dinner from Arby’s. Enough for two arrived and I couldn’t even finish one serving but it was delicious and I will have more for tomorrow. My plan is to go into the office and run payroll for a few companies and then come home. I intend to take it easy but do have obligations I am happy to meet.
It framed up pretty nice
I read the report online from the surgeon and now understand why I am feeling the way I am. I also know why he had the results so quickly, the cyst broke inside and he had to be sure there was no cancer or further things would have needed to happen. It also explained the whole removal process and the moving around of innards which explains the discomfort, swelling and bruising.
I am watching ‘The Power of a Dog’. Not entirely sure what I think with only 20 minutes to go.
Was super sore and had a hard time getting out of bed but once I did I slowly moved my way to feeling much better. Basically watched shows, talked with family and let myself rest for the better part of the day. Not long after Mark arrived I was in a long hot shower. It was so restorative and I was only able to do it comfortably knowing he was in the living room if anything went wrong. We played Little Big Planet, laughed, endured the harsh wind that blew through and watched Dune and King Richard. We both enjoyed the latter the most. My guts are bubbling with gas but now that the bandages are off I see that there are a few stitches and mostly bruising which will pass. I have to remember not to stretch or lift too much and look forward to a bath after the 14th!! It is nice to have the company of a friend and be over the initial ick. I hope to sleep better tonight so I’d best get off to trying.
I managed to stay asleep on my back but woke super early. I made a coffee and moved to the couch. U an tender and emotional and had an off morning with my Mom. I am afraid she didn’t realize what care I needed from her and my throat is so sore and swollen, my voice is raw and my nose is running. I asked Rae-Anne to drop off the Covid tests on her way to work. This one came back negative thankfully. Mom went for coffee and lunch with a bunch of people after I had a melt down and needed to be alone for a while. Donna dropped off homemade chicken veg soup and whole grain bread. I sat with the eating pad on my back and a pillow on my tummy and watched shows and hydrated. Mom came back and picked up her stuff, we had a good talk and she is going to go back and stay with her brother tonight. I am going to tuck in early. I feel as though I have been run over by a jeep, not pain as such, just total muscle aches and I would usually soak in a tub for that or have a long hot shower for the sadness. I called Dr. Rode’s office and Nicky was so kind, talking me through the sad, making a follow up appointment for the 14th and telling me to call anytime if I had questions or needed to talk. She said I could shower tomorrow and maybe it would help just to sit in the bathroom with the water running and listen, feeling the steam. I got up to pour a drink and fill my water bottle but after I set them down I lost my balance and tipped the table over shattering my favourite nose glass, and making a big mess. I texted my neighbour Tracy and she raced over to very thoroughly clean it all up.
There was a knock at the door and a flustered man came in with a gorgeous plant to put in my garden and a lovely card from the CCT Board. Rae and Tanner stopped by with popsicles just as I was finishing my soup and now I am all worn out ready for bed.
The outpouring of love and support has left no doubt that I am loved. For that alone, I am grateful I went through this. I do hope I can get around a bit better tomorrow as I am seizing up from sitting around like this.
The best part of the day was when Danika asked if Emmy could FaceTime with me. A bit later I answered and Emmy had a very sad face. She said Nana, I am so sad! I have to tell you that Malcolm (her step-Dad) got a new job at the armory and we are moving to Winnipeg. I told her this made me very sad too and was trying to process what she was telling me when she switched to a big smile and yelled April Fools!!! That almost 5 year old deserves an Oscar!! Too funny.
I had just settled and turned on the TV to find this crazy angle nightmare going on.
The alarm rang at 5:45 and I made a black coffee and A live Facebook video explaining what today is to be all about. I had not shared it across the Friend list and wanted to ultimately share what the results would be either way. It was hard to do but I am really glad I did as the love and prayers, wonderful tributes came pouring in. seems a great number of people I know see me as tough, and special. That filled my cup. I weighed in and have lost 28 pounds now which took me 5 years to put on and just under 3 months to take off. Only 35 to go! I cleaned as instructed, packed for the two nights over and got my CPAP machine ready, watered my plants, fed the pets, put on my WonderWoman Shirt and Space llama socks and was ready for Roger to pick me up at 6:45. He dropped me off with a big hug as the sun was rising. I checked in and was promptly given a bag for my clothes and two gowns, booties and a cap. After I got changed they gave me a couple Ativan which began to work right away. I was there for a while before they rolled me to the operating room. It was cold in there! The mask to put me under didn’t work until after the extremely painful installation of the IV in the back of my left hand. Sigh.
Sackboy came along
The next thing I knew I was waking up with my friend Paula holding my hand. I was told I was moved back to the Day Surgery ward as I was going to be released that day. This was super confusing and I hadn’t talked to the Dr yet. It was 2 and I was thirsty and starving, even to get up to go to the bathroom was difficult as I was lightheaded. The nurse didn’t seem to have much information. I began to panic as what was happening didn’t match any of the information I had asked about. A lovely nurse, Heidi made me a coffee and brought cookies and cheese before leaving shift. There was also too much chatter and I couldn’t reach my bag with my earbuds and IPad. Just as I got them the nurse came and explained they were really busy as it was the overflow but she did bring me a popsicle. There was a sticker on the end of my bed that said Bed in Hall! I asked for more Ativan and she said it wasn’t on the chart. I asked if I could have food as I was also getting hangry. She came back shortly with Ativan and said Dr. Rode would be here in half an hour. I then messaged for Mom to come. Tracy came to visit for a bit and then Mom showed up as she was going back to work. Dr. Rode showed up and was almost giddy as he explained he had thought it was Cancer but it came out easy and faster than expected which meant I could go home. He showed me pictures of what he did and said to follow up in two weeks with him to remove the last of the dissolving stitches and sooner if I see any signs of infection or anything. Mom went to pull her car up and I got dressed. My bag was over the 10 pound limit so the nurse put my stuff in a wheel chair and I walked slowly beside her down to the car. We stopped for a quick moment at the store and then came home to make a live video to let everyone know the great news. I am completely exhausted at this point. We had a bevie with Tracy and then I went in to start responding to messages which were overwhelming. Mom and I hung out on the couch after I put on a nightgown, drank some Ensure and sucked on lozenges for my very sore throat.
The stowaway wore grey Only three small access points amazing
Dinner was leftover salad and shrimp with edamame and watching Young Rock and Beyond the Edge. My system feels better now. I shall head to bed to relax and sleep as needed. I have 4-5 or 6 weeks before I am supposed to be completely healed and can lift heavy things again but I can drive after tomorrow. I am told to just listen to my body and rest when needed.
I am very calm now but am feeling so much relief and joy. As freaked out as I was I truly didn’t believe this was how my story would end as I am going to make it to 105 and I have many more adventures to take.
I awoke stupid early so decided to get on with the day. I was thrilled to see I have lost 28 pounds now but was aiming for 30. I hope the stowaway has some weight to it. The first chore was to drop off my car for a list of things that should have happened when I bought it. The service guy tried to mansplain to me the importance of oil changes… that did not go well for him. I kept in mind ‘be kind or be quiet’ but seriously, I tried to book my service at the 6 month mark and was told by his predecessor that 6K was the marker. I calmly told him that I had my mechanics apprenticeship and was fully aware of the importance of oil changes.. and just do it.
The rest of the day was sketchy as I was constantly checking lists, taking care of last minute things and running payroll. I think much of my stress lies in hoping that this whole situation doesn’t make me miss any deadlines. One of my main clients had a pizza and bevie lunch to celebrate getting through another year end and I was grateful to be included but paid with stomach pains for the afternoon.
The beautiful part of today was so many people reaching out and offering love and prayers. There were glorious gifts of flowers and candles and bath treats. So many messages of support and love. It really filled my tank and took away the anxiety.
I got my car back and am happy with much of it, including the spiffy decals although you can tell up close that they were not put on by the professionals. I plan to take close up pics in case there are issues.
Rae-Anne came by with a lovely light dinner of salad and shrimp skewers that Roger made. Her kids are sick so I couldn’t go there. She showered and didn’t hug them before coming here, where we kept a good distance and had a good visit. Poor Ashlée is also sick. After tomorrow I won’t care and we will hug at will.
The rest of the evening was spent sipping Scotch in a candlelit bath while watching the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It was only interrupted by a quick visit with my neighbour Tracey who will come feed Missy in my absence. I really am grateful for the team around me whose support makes this easier.
I am so grateful for all the messages and love thrown my way that I am ready to tuck in for a good sleep knowing that no matter what I am now alone in this.
This day was (plug your ears/eyes) fucked up. I am rapid cycling panic attacks and getting things done. I called the booking number from home and left a message. Got a call while I was at work to tell to be at the hospital at 7 am on Thursday, ready to go. Of course that just triggered all the shit. Had a hard time focusing on a lot of client miscommunication today. Filed what I could, did what I was asked and felt like falling in a heap all day. I kept getting out of my chair and wandering to try to blow it off. I just want to lay in a hammock and cry, or take the anti-anxiety meds I have but i need a clear head as I have a board meeting tonight… yes obligation will always trump me.
The Board meeting went smoothly, I feel like I came up with a few clear thoughts in spite of turning off my video to cry on occasion.
I was stressing an hour before the meeting wondering through the list in my brain who I could not bother by reaching out when I got a message from my dear friend Sarah, whom I called and had the perfect thing that I needed. I miss her dearly and hope her world ends up closer to mine in the future as Bella Bella is sooooo far away!!!
I have nothing polite to say at the moment, I honestly want the world to know how afraid I am, how strong I am and…. How weak I am.
I had a pretty good sleep. Not sure if it was the oil drops or just exhaustion but I am grateful. I was also grateful that I remembered to take out the garbage.
First stop in the day was at the Urgent Care clinic to see about Bobby. I saw there were only a few people in the waiting room, was taken in quickly and met with a nurse practitioner who explained that he would be pre-screening to be sure they could help. Once that was done he said ok, just wait in the chairs and it will be about an hour. I was stunned and promptly kicked in a panic attack. I told the front staff that I just needed to go walk it off and would be back. I walked down the length of the mall and when I got back, they were waiting to take me in, bless their hearts. I saw Dr. Paula Dubois and she was simply wonderful . I hope I get assigned to her eventually. She was surprised to see that Bobby was looking like that but does not hurt or look infected. I am to keep doing what I have been, soaking in Epsom salts twice a day and if I see any signs of infection come on back. She did tell me not to worry as even if it was terribly infected and needed IV antibiotics, it would not interfere with the surgery so that is a relief.
I stopped at the dealership and confirmed that Wednesday I can drop my car off at 8 in the morning and they will shuttle me to and from the office in order to get it finished. The decals and towing wiring harness are being installed and they will figure out why the tire warning is going off again. That will be a big one off my list. I was super excited to see they had a display of the type of tent I have on my Amazon cart, waiting to push checkout once I know I will be able to camp this summer. It made me want it more.
The rest of the day was spent trying not to have panic attacks, they seem to come easily these days but I don’t want to take anti-anxiety meds if they will cloud my mind right now. I am crossing more things off the list. I purposed to get home and finish what I needed to do before I am too busy. I made up the spare bed with the fresh linen, and put George in a jug of water while I seriously cleaned his bowl and its contents. Emmy had mentioned Patrick looked like he had fur and she wasn’t wrong. He and George are much happier now.
I did some puzzle while I sat with my feet in my foot spa full of Epsom salts and watched the Oscars. I had recorded them last night and found out today about the slap heard round the world. I only have one thing to say, I wish Jada had just stood up and said that hurt and that the comment was unnecessary roughness. Now it is an uncomfortable situation all around. And there are wars out there!! Women hiding in crowded places with their children are in far more need of protection than Jada Smith. What Chris said was stupid and bullying but nothing compared to Ricky Gervais in prior years. The news cycle needs to drop it, there is much too much more important to deal with in the world.
triumphgal 