I found myself crying in the shower this morning trying to wash away the sadness of the season that tries to overwhelm. Suddenly I realized I needed to turn it around so I chose my unicorn leggings and built the rest of my outfit around them. If life gets to be too Feelzy, just dress like a 4 year old and head to the office. It worked! I got a crazy amount done and fully maintained my joy and calmness. My friend Zoey came to visit and although I hadn’t seen her in a while we had a great laugh at our unicorn outfits, although hers was far superior. I had a good meeting after work with the stage manager and director of the show, clarifying roles, discussing stage plots, set, posters and overall vision for the show. It brought back the joy of the project. While we were in the meeting it began to snow heavily but passed on thankfully. It was 9 by the time my car melted and I got myself home to make dinner. My Pampered Chef order was waiting for me and I am so excited, looking forward to using the meat chopper. The bamboo spoons are exquisite. Dinner was delicious but it was 10 when I sat down to eat. I must break that bad habit again!
I logged off last night and then remembered a few other things from the day. Here is the picture of how far I got on the puzzle
When I was cleaning my purses I found the ring I lost at a local bonspiel when I was there watching friends play. I think it was late 2019 or very early 2020. I had even checked that garbage as it was pretty new to me at the time and I was sad not to have found it. For some reason in my life jewelry comes back to me. I still have hope for my earring from Halloween night.
I learned something by reading all the details of my colonoscopy results… the sedation used was fentanyl! Who knew??
Early in the day today I was contacted by a woman who knew Jackie back in her Alberta days and she was out of country when the aneurysm happened. She has been seeking answers and somehow, through my blog, her daughter sleuthed finding me and today we connected. I still have a hard time revisiting those early days and explaining that my friend is there but she’s not there and yet she is, is so complicated.
I wanted to fit more things in than I did today but when I sit back and revisit the things crossed off the list, I have done well. I did not however get home until 8. I had had a large lunch of half my leftovers so I made a warm cup of chicken broth for dinner and enjoyed it so much. I think it is my new comfort food. I think the time change has kicked my butt and I am off to bed.
Awoke at a decent time due to the time change. There was a bit of snow on the ground so I decided once I had a relax and did a whack of indoor chores that I should get outside and finish putting away the Halloween decorations etc. It was windy and cold but I finished putting everything away, clipped the garden, added more dirt around my rose and talked the clippings away. Sadly the lights around my willow tree don’t work. I had left them wound around it since last winter and they had actually begun to be grown into the tree. They were so tight I think damage may have happened. I took them down and just plugged in the ones on the Maple which were fine. Once I was done I came in and started a puzzle and watched shows. My eyes kept watering and itching and I realized I am allergic to my neighbour’s cats. She leant me the puzzle and it is giving me a reaction. It is further proof that Missy is the cat for me as I have no reaction to her unless she scratches me by accident and I get a welt. I had a good long FaceTime with a friend while I made dinner. It was tasty. Huge servings though so there are a couple meals worth left for tomorrow. I tried purposefully to just tune out the obligations in my life today aside from household things. I had planned to go into the office but am glad I didn’t. I continued to do the puzzle. I forgot how peaceful and calming it is for me to do them. I glanced outside and saw that it had snowed again. I don’t think there is a forecast for much yet.
I did get the results of my colonoscopy and apparently everything looks fine, no sign of diverticulitis or cancer or anything else. I have follow up in a couple weeks and will ask what he thinks is causing the distress. I probably have to change something in my diet and drink more water. Good news, in any case.
One of my chores today was to dump three purses out and sort into one. There were 16 pens, $17, missing items and a bags worth of gum and mints.
I am so sad for the deaths at the music festival in Houston. 8 people between 14 & 27 crushed when a crowd surged. That is terrifying.
Oh my, how far is too far with the Llama craze? I spotted these glasses in Winners today and still am not sure how I feel about them.
I got 10 and a half hours sleep last night, watched a few shows over coffee and then headed to the theatre. I met Matt and let him gather his electronics he had leant to the show. I also requested he send me an invoice for the last of the gear we need. We had an interesting conversation about discovering, unknown at the time, reasons for things happening. I like seeing him happy and that we can have deep conversations without having to go into lengthy descriptions of moods, or motivations. We both have experience with the darker side of our Psyches. One of the other fun moments in my morning was my friend sending me links to Bruno Mars and the new album dropping. I do like all the songs and the videos are perfect slices of the 70s. We both like sending each other music and I was happy to share the artist I saw tonight at Key City. Celeigh Cardinal is amazing. Such a powerhouse singer/songwriter. I was happy to be back volunteering, it is a non stress time for me and I am able to help out. Tonight was bar tending.
In between I had my nails done and then went shopping at Winners just for a peaceful wander. I did find a wonderful jammie hoody. It even matches my slippers. All in all a nicely balanced day and now I am ready to get sleep although with the Fall Back time change I will be up earlier tomorrow.
A day that was only mildly sucky ended up full of all kinds of comedy. I went straight from work to meet Ashlée, Roger and Rae-Anne at the Heidout for dinner before a comedy show at Key City Theatre. We were first at a small table and then moved to a booth which made Rae especially happy as her fave waiter, Zach worked that section. He is a lovely young man who now lives up the block from them, As always I let them know I have a pepper allergy and the chef came out to clarify some items in what I ordered which was lovely. We had appetizers and beverages and I mentioned I liked my wine glass and needed to add it to my collection. Zach said he would hook me up. Surf and turf was the special and it was good, not fabulous, but good. We had lots of time and were enjoying ourselves so we decided to have dessert as well. After being told the cheese cake Flavour was Banana Cream, that was ordered as well as Toffee Brownie and another Apple something. I have forgotten the other because the cheese cake will always live in infamy. It arrived at our table via someone not our server and we all just looked at it at first, wondering what it was. Finally we all took a bite and I said, oh no that is not good, it’s peppers! Ash said the piece of fruit she ate tasted familiar but wrong and Roger just had a quizzically horrified face. We saw another server walking by and asked what it was and it turns out it was Mango Sweet Pepper! Yes, I now have to mention I am allergic to peppers when dessert is ordered! Poor Zach was horrified and embarrassed, gave us a discount and me a wine glass. We know it wasn’t his fault and we were laughing at the irony of it all.
Next in store was a raunch filled night of comedy courtesy of Cranbrook’s own, Mark McCue and Newfoundland’s own, Lisa Baker. A good night all around. It was nice to make memories with the kids.
This odd machine is in my Physiotherapists office. Looks like something right out of the 1950s.
I am caught in a nightmare… this is my release, my therapy that costs around a dollar a day rather than $200 an hour. Everything I go to write, every thought processed tonight earns a backspace key on repeat. My ability to be me is fueled by my ability to leave things in the moment. I rarely carry a grudge, seldom give up on anyone and am straight forward. Perhaps my biggest problem is that I try not to say anything about you to anyone else that I wouldn’t say to your face and sometimes that creates a tornado of honesty that isn’t always welcomed. I want to talk about at least 3 major issues in the last 12 hours but nothing good will come of it because some readers will have the need to share my thoughts. I cannot purge lest I open myself up to more… see can’t even touch the subject…
No need to read between the lines, no need to guess where fault lies… no blame, only solutions. Yeah, that mantra is wearing thin. I find myself, all day, questioning whether I am fit for the public. I think that I may be becoming a fearful combination of Howard Hughes and Greta Garbo… ‘I vant to be alone”. This month is full of much public volunteer time but then I can slink into the shadows and finish producing, balance the books and fulfill my time until my commitments are done.
What an ironic day to pick up the 25 buttons I ordered from a local to give out to people who need them most. It’s a shame I didn’t have them with me yesterday at the hospital. I need one staring me in the face at the moment… Or maybe that is what I am doing, being kind and quiet. Holy Chic Art + Design makes lovely things and she stuck an awesome sticker in that she has no idea how much it means today especially. I put it on the wall by my door so I see it on the way out.
I was up at 6 and completing my prep for the procedure. Finished with a cup of black coffee at 7:30 and then cleaned and tidied, showered etc until Keri picked me up at 9:30 for a ride to the hospital. Once there I was given a bed and a gown, told to keep on my socks and that I would be after a coffee break and one other person, so about 40 minutes. The nurse was cheery and chatty but… oddly not conscious of hygiene. She spent the most time I have ever seen warming my arm and checking for the best place to put the IV, went away to get the stuff to do it and as she sat down beside me said, “sorry, I just have to tie my shoe first”. I laughed and said ‘well, as long as you hand sanitize after, no problem’ to which she replied, “I wasn’t going to, but I will now”. There followed a conversation about my Covid consciousness as she called it and I said that I just didn’t want to be sick from anything and that I wasn’t turning into Howard Hughes yet but suspected that would lighten up once I started travelling again. I was saying I always wanted to cruise the Panama but wasn’t wanting to cruise anytime soon due to Covid and Legionnaires and other things and she told me I was nearly Howard Hughes. Such strange talk from a nurse! And really I only mentioned she clean her hands before putting a needle in me!! Up side was I have good blood pressure in spite of that 124/68. The Dr and the OR staff were lovely and in no time at all I was waking up to coffee and cookies and being told there was nothing serious nor cancerous. I will have follow up in a few weeks. Keri was sweet enough to drive me home and even bring my Hello Fresh order that had arrived at the office. I relaxed for the rest of the afternoon, dosing off and on until it was time to make some dinner and get picked up for the Hockey Game. I was feeling good, just had to wake up from the sedation. I also made a dinner that would be easy to digest.
At the game I sat with Ashlée in our usual seats as Bill and Deanne, Roger and Rae were all up as guests in a box. It let Ash and I have a good visit as there was no one around us to disturb and the game was a huge blow out for us against Merritt. I hate when scores are so one sided, you start to feel bad for the other team.
It was a long satisfying day at work. I was able to sneak some moments to place a small order for my friends Epicure and Pampered Chef parties. There was one thing I wanted from each. Of the two things I ordered from Pampered Chef I have heard one is back ordered and out of the order from Epicure I didn’t get the one thing I wanted as it was not currently available, Oh Canada Dry rub. It was nice to support a friend. I know what it is like to hold parties.
I stayed later to get my top priority items cleared off the desk as I will not be available tomorrow. I have a colonoscopy finally which was referred after my stint in hospital last New Years. I think it is the final piece of that whole puzzle and maybe they will finally determine why i had a portion of paralyzed bowel. I forgot I was supposed to be on clear fluids all day and had brought a lunch of my delicious left overs. Fortunately I remembered before I ate but I had not brought any fluids. Aside from coffee and water I bought a Gatorade out of the machine. Once i left the office i popped into Safeway for jello and broth, managing to get jello in me before meeting Rae and Roger at the cinema. We watched Venom from the comfy chairs. I liked it but there were moments when it was too much for me as the ‘amoeba’ was a monster from my nightmares. I think there were only 8 people in the audience. I don’t know how they are staying open, but am glad they are.
I got home quickly after the movie to take my picosalax which will start to clear out my system in anticipation of tomorrow. I remember the whole thing from 5 or 6 years ago when I had my first one. I seem to remember the prep was worse than the procedure. I am grateful that Keri has agreed to pick me up and bring me to the hospital and if I am done before her kids need her, she will bring me back home as well. I am just going to concentrate on it all going smoothly and that they find some answers. I am a bit hungry right now but my chicken broth was tasty. I should go to bed as I have to get up at 6 to take the rest of the solution. We did announce the cast of the play today and that is exciting. It’s getting real!
I feel like compared to last year, this year is ripping by. It is Nov already and so little time left in the great 2021. It does feel good to be at the start of a new month. Each month starts with hope and a plan. I didn’t have time to plan but it was nice when a client stopped by with his paperwork on the first day instead of the last week. He gave me a cheque to pay the last invoice and after he left I noticed he hadn’t signed it so I ran out to the parking lot. He saw me and got out of his car where he was not wearing a mask. I was so surprised to see he had a mustache and goatee! He actually looked better than ever. It’s funny how in this case the masks of the last long time hid the changes. After work I went to the Fire and Oak to see if they had found my missing earring. It is one of my favourite pair that an artist friend made. I still have hope it will show up. While I was there I experienced privileged people thinking they could come in without being vaccinated. I chose to get out of the shots being fired. Unfortunately they had not found my earring. I got home too late to make dinner as I needed to be at the theatre for 6:30 to address and photograph the director and cast. Once I got to the theatre I gave them a quick tour, explained all the building items, fire exits, etc and then took pictures for the press release. Once I got home I put them into a pic collage so Ashlée could approve posting it for tomorrow. I had already sent the text to go with it. She posted Peter’s blog today instead of mine which still annoys me a bit. I wrote a beautiful piece…
Quite possibly the best moment of my day was when a box arrived and I had no idea where it came from because I forgot that I had ordered through my air miles a bundle of two games with the nightmare before Christmas theme. I am so excited as they look amazing
I was super grateful to Rae-Anne who came and helped me get the tent trailer folded up for the winter. I left it up the last two and it was a lot of work to keep the snow off and the water out. We put all the furnishings in the shelter, bagged the mattress and put it in the metal shed and the folded and wrapped it. If it weren’t for the fact it takes two to deal with the mattress I could have done it myself it folds up so easily. Once we wrapped it up I put the big Googly eyes on it for Halloween and as a snow man for the winter. Got to have a little fun. When we were done we went and had a lovely brunch at Fire and Oak. We each ordered different types of Eggs Benedict and swapped half. It was a lovely visit and a delicious meal. The mountains were stunning on a beautiful clear Fall day.
After she dropped me back home I took opportunity to install three of four new outdoor lights. One on the front porch and two on the front of the trailer. It got fairly warm working in the sun. I noticed at 3:30 that younger kids were beginning to come around trick or treating. They were soooo adorable. I hung out at my neighbors on her deck running over to hand out candy as they came round. Emmy showed up and with glee sprayed me with silly string as she was Spider Gwen. Danika does such a good job making her costumes and Emmy plays the parts well. Just over 20 kids came before dark. It started to get cold fast as the sun went over the hill. My new lights looked good with their masks on. I lit a fire and sat as close as possible. Tracey came over to sit for the last hour or so but it was getting too cold and no one else seemed to be coming. At 9 we called it a night and when I went inside I saw on my indoor/outdoor thermometer that it was -6 Celsius, no wonder I was numb! I had a tootsie roll and it was hard to chew from being frozen outside. Over all there were around 30 kids, not as many as I expected and I have a lot of treats left which I will have to hide. It was so good to have Will and Sawyer stop by as the two older grandsons had their own plans with friends. I miss when we would all go out together walking the neighbourhood. Diane brought Zoë by and I gave their dog Layla a treat as well. I like the drive by drop ins a lot. It was a pretty great day and I got a lot done!
I am home finally after a very full and fabulous day. It began with an alarm to get me up and organized for our ABC Halloween Zoom. I had 8 masks ready to switch out on a regular basis as we talked. It was a lot of fun and so great to see everyone’s costumes. Several couldn’t make it but it was a good visit and laughs were had as always. There were also sad and touching moments as several shared the tough times they are going through. Several of us stayed on longer sharing and caring. It struck me at one point that I was grateful to be able to picture each of their homes in Santa Barbara, California, Biggin Hill, UK and West Linn, Oregon as I had spent time visiting each of them. I find comfort in being able to visualize where my friends are, to picture in my head the renovations and gardening they are doing, to have pet their dogs and cats and laughed with their kids. I truly am blessed by those moments.
When we were done I made my lunch and rested on the couch for a bit. Then it was time to get outside and get things done! When I had gone out this morning to grab my bin of masks out of the shed I had to bang on the locks to open it as they were frozen! I was worried that I had waited too long to get my Shelterlogic built as I needed to dig it to level and now the ground may be too solid. I had fortunately waited until it softened up. I spent the rest of the afternoon putting the walls and roof on the shed and raking leaves, organizing my metal locking shed and putting away lawn furniture. It would have been much easier with two people and at one point I got frustrated but persevered. It was very satisfying in the end.
I invited my neighbour to dinner and the hockey game. She couldn’t make it to the game but I made a nice meal to share and we had a good catch up visit. By the time we were done I made it to the game between the first and second period. There was no score yet at least. It seemed a fairly even game against the Nanaimo Clippers but it wasn’t very interesting until the third period when we started scoring. The game ended 4-1 with an empty netter in the last 21 seconds. It was fun to hear some of my Vancouver Island friends had been following the game on the radio.
Once I finally got out of the parking lot, I headed to the Firehall where the wrap party for The Shape of a Girl was being held. As i entered I was told it was last call in 5 minutes and would I like a drink. I said a red wine, not a Merlot would be lovely, 9 ounce. After a short but nice visit with everyone, I was given my tab to pay and found out my one glass of wine cost 20.70! It turns out I was drinking $360 Pinot Noir! I do wish I had known that in advance to avoid the sticker shock. I would also have paid more attention to it as I chatted…
I was reminded today to stay on target by dear friends from far away. I awoke to their messages of encouragement and put on my Wonder Woman stance to take on the day. I managed to complete what I had to but not all I wish I could have. But you know, I got it done and didn’t let the ball drop. But enough about me… here are some pics of things that made me smile today.
I worked so crazy hard today to get three companies filed for GST quarters, speak to a recent widow about her partners personal taxes and reconcile a few other people in between. From the office I went straight to pick up a friend and go see The Shape of a Girl. This time Jelena Jensen was the actor in the one woman show. It really was interesting seeing the same show within a week of seeing Cheyenne do it. I picked up different things this time and was left feeling similar to last time. Shattered was accurate the first time, cracked was a better descriptor this time. Both triggered me. This time my friend and I sat in the car and talked. I shared my story of being bullied, the things the show dredged up. There are lines in the show that rip the memories right out of the past… FP, writing FP on our hands to signify Flea Proof. We would regularly signify who had fleas that day and be sure everyone knew we were safe…. Talk of the boy who jumped off the Patullo Bridge which is just up river of the one I wanted to jump off when I was 16… cultivating the ‘HaHa’ rather than become even more of a target by not pretending being the butt of the jokes was fine… being one of the group of girls and then skipping a grade and floundering… being chased through the park every day to the chant of ‘Knee socks, Knee socks’ because I was only 12 and my mom wouldn’t let me wear nylons like the older girls I was in class with… having a male teacher make comments loaded with sexual innuendo… opening my clarinet case in the concert band rehearsal in spite of the fact things had gotten quieter and people were staring, only to find a bag of Gains burger… yep, dog food, HaHa. And all of this, and so much more, happened to a gifted, sensitive child who’d lost her birth mom and sister, who struggled to find her missing piece and longed just to know she was loved. I was loved, am loved, have always been loved but until I was 10, life felt pretty great and from 11 on not so much. I carry those scars, no matter how much therapy, positive self talk and work I do. The memories rise up less often but sometimes I have to check myself to see what age is responding in a situation. I acknowledge that 58 year old me sometimes gets all defensive of my teen self. I over react or don’t give two shakes at all… The beautiful thing as I sat in the car with my friend listening to the rain coming down, each of us wiping away tears, was when she said don’t worry, you’ve always got me… and I may have been a mean girl.
I watch an episode of a show every day on the treadmill before work. I just started season 3 of YOU. It is one disturbed show but I am somehow trapped in it. Part of me thinks I should just binge and move on as it is not very uplifting to start my day. I did get a lot done in my day and am managing to control my stress reaction. Two days left, two files to complete and file, 3 to enter and file as I received their info only today. I wish, without threats of not doing them, I could let people know how hard that is on me to leave it all to the last moment. One of the things I had to do was supply a picture to Ashlée to go with a blog for the theatre. I went into the bathroom where there was decent lighting and took a bunch of pics until I got one that was usable. I was laughing by the end of it.
The only picture I found more disturbing today was online while I was searching for fake cigarettes for the play…. WHO thought this was a good idea???
dinner was tasty but I have a colonoscopy next week and am supposed to avoid small grains, seeds, nuts, etc. This dish has all of them.. it was tasty though so I am bringing the second serving to Keri for lunch tomorrow.
I am feeling the pressure to get the yard winterized. I just hope it doesn’t deep freeze or snow before Sunday. So far so lucky…
No, really… a day can be defined by the meal that fuels you, or restores you. I again, worked through meal breaks to get things done. I am running out of month and three, yes 3, clients have not supplied me with their paperwork yet. Rather than stress out, I once again sent them reminders and worked on what I had. This left me with plenty to do and good focus time. I did start late as I had a Physiotherapy appointment at 9. It was my first visit in a while as I had to wait until I had all my results and then couldn’t get an appointment for 3 weeks. Mark Johnson is a very big blessing in my life and he gave me all kinds of exercises to do and recommended that I do accept that referral to Ortho to deal with my knee, especially after finding out my Dr is leaving town. That time is approaching fast and I am saddened. I will make an appointment with her to follow up and get that referral. I also hope it is in person so I can bring her my parting gift. Straight from the office I headed to the Board meeting and we discussed all things theatre and Society related. It was an intense meeting and much was accomplished but there is lots of homework. From there, three, yes 3! Of us went for a bevie and i ordered the special which was a fabulous Shepherd’s Pie. It was so much comfort food that I was able to think again and have good discussions with the production manager about the upcoming show I am producing. So, good things came in 3s and now I am home to catch some sleep before tackling the last days of a crazy month.
It was so windy in the night that I can see my neighbour now !
Today was so crazy on the job and then I went straight to the first read through for the play I am Producing. It is called The Aliens! By Annie Baker and it goes onstage in February. The director is Duncan Chalmers and this is a first stab at a full on show for him. I see how well he gets a handle on things. The three actors are Woody Maguire, Matt Van Boeyen, and William Nicholson. I admitted to them tonight that I did not like the play and was looking forward to them bringing life into the characters in a way that would make me feel a connection, would make me care. The first read went very well and I am glad I took on the project. All 4 of these young men are special in their own way and I am good to be the den Mom. It could be seen as one more stress in my life but I prefer to see it as a way to express my art and passion as well.
Lazy morning and then off to the office. Got started on finishing a file and then Duncan came to discuss play stuff before our first meeting with the cast tomorrow night. I have to be cautious to Produce, and let him direct. The problem is that he is not used to thinking about site lines, etc. The solution is that I am big picture so I am thinking about those things. We agree to meet in some way once a week to touch base, brain storm and cover all the bases. I got back to work when he left and then received a text that there was a problem with the stage mic. It was matinee day and 230. I booted over there to find it was half way through the show and not much I could do. Odd Pepijn didn’t let me know in time but I am happy he was comfortable to work the show anyway. I stayed working on files until nearly 7 and then came home to make one of my favourite soups ever. It wasn’t my recipe but was delicious. I left out the jalapeño and used half the paprika. Still bumpy but it was so good I wanted to eat both servings! Lunch is something to look forward to.
Missy is really starting to annoy me. We are back to the in and out, meowing insanity of the change of seasons. I am going to have to lock down the tent trailer soon as well. I saw her sneaking out of there and I don’t want it covered in hair, nor do I want other cats in there.
Not much to say today, but that’s a good thing, right?!
Today would have been my Dad’s 82nd birthday. The problem is he was only 64 when he crashed his float plane and died. I wonder some times what life would be like if he were still around. Other times I am grateful that I didn’t have to watch you age and ache. I get it now, the T3s and Scotch each evening, waking up early when they wear off. The slowing pace getting in and out of vehicles, the fear of getting hurt as the healing takes longer. Now that I am only 6 years younger than you ever were, I understand how truly young you were when you got your permanent wings. I wish you could have known your grandchildren. I know you would love them and would have been incredibly charmed by the boys, losing your heart to Emmy. Gene is doing your name proud. He is tall and strong and a hard worker.
I miss you and know you would be proud of us all.
Today I turned my thoughts inward as I worked to finish off my bathroom renovation. I am happy with the result even if it isn’t perfect. Papering over paneling can only look so good. I do love it though.
I worked on my volunteer duties all day today to get them out of the way as the board meeting approaches at the same rapid speed as year end and I needed to get it off my list. I then ripped over to my gal at the salon for the waxing upkeep before heading home to make some dinner
Tonight is the night. Opening night for The Shape of a Girl by Joan Macleod at Cranbrook Community Theatre directed by Amy Penney. This evenings performance was presented by Cheyenne Kneller, a 15 year old actor from our local high school. She shares the role with Jelena Jenson on alternating nights. I look forward to seeing Jelena next week. I purposely did not read the script as I did know it would trigger me. It is inspired by the events of the swarming and murder of 14 year old Reena Virk in 1997 under the Craigflower bridge in Victoria. I remember clearly when this occurred and found myself only two years later at the age of 39 in the place where she died. It was overwhelming as I was in rehab working through my own PTSD from bullying and being a suicidal 16 year old. I will say that I was not sure I should see this show, that it may trigger me. I wasn’t wrong. One of the producers sat down beside me just as the show was about to start and when the Director came out to give the land entitlement recognition she also gave a beautiful tribute to Peter and I for the work that we have done on the renovation to make this show possible. I turned to Elizabeth and said ‘damn, I didn’t bring Kleenex’. she promptly handed me one and i wiped away the first of my tears for the evening. Young Cheyenne did a wonderful job, given her youth and inexperience. I could see the great work Amy had done with her. I was not entirely lost in the show but found myself noting markers that were true and touching to me. It wasn’t until after the curtain call that I found myself ‘leaking’. I had to stay in my seat and go through all the feels. I made a point to connect with Amy to go for a drink after and talk. I am glad I did for many reasons, not the least of which that she should not have just gone home on opening night without some celebration of what she made happen. We had good talks, Director to Director and then Producer to Producer as we are to the next two shows. The show left me feeling deeply my connection with bullying, from both sides. The references to the lower mainland, to jumping off bridges, which I had wanted to do when I was 16, to being treated as less than, the butt of jokes, to lashing out at others in response, left me raw. The discussion of where we go with the next shows and the acknowledgment that things are different in community theatre compared to professional and how to adjust, filled my tank back up. I am grateful we made the time. There were things that could have been better but over all the show was a success. The writing is prose, the timing is critical and I look forward to seeing how Jelena interprets it. It is not light entertainment but it is a mirror that many should look into.
I was gifted with a journal and a beautiful card signed by the cast and crew that made me laugh and cry in the same breath. I feel blessed by the experience and am grateful I spent myself to help make it happen.
Should you be interested in seeing it please go to cranbrookcommunity theatre.com for streaming and on demand options. It is a powerful experience running through to next weekend.
triumphgal 