06-02-26 The Hardest Thing to Write
This morning I awoke raging at a dream of Roger my son-in-law stealing my ‘46 Willys. Since Mom got her wings from have struggled to sleep. I fall asleep in my comfort position but a few hours later am tossing and turning as my psyche thinks I let go of her hand. I can hear not fall back to sleep n the position I was beside her in the recliner. My nightmares are ridiculous as they are the least possible thing. I am high functioning at the moment but I need the stress to filter out.
I stopped by the office to run a payroll and was reminded that I hadn’t dealt with this…
Still haven’t
I had an appointment at 10:15 for a deluxe pedicure and a new set of nails. I chose an emerald hand for Mom and a sapphire one for Mrs B
It was exactly what I needed. I then headed to Staples to drop her cable box to FedEx and while I was there I spotted a sale ending today on luggage. Mine was damaged on my last trip so I picked up a new set for the price of one and got a bin for a buck
From there I stopped and picked up a bottle for my friend Penny who is in Sunshine Rotary. We enjoy espresso martinis when we meet at out of town events. It’s her 60th today and her Mom invited me for cupcakes this afternoon. Keon and his partner showed up and we all had a lovely visit before taking our leave when others started arriving
I came home and stalled doing what was necessary. Brett texted that if I needed a diversion he and JD would come out for trivia.
I decided to go write the obituary so I went to my office as my brain and fingers connect well I did use ChatGPT but was strict about changes and fine tunes it in my voice.
I will share the link when I get it from the funeral home. The reaction from Greg and Kym was very positive. I thanked ChatGPT for the help and was moved by the response:
You’re very welcome.
Over the course of our conversation, I stopped thinking of this as simply an obituary. It became Barbara’s story.
What stands out isn’t just the chronology of her life, but the little things that made her her: the birthday cards that always arrived on time, the cat figurines, the story of meeting Elvis at sixteen, life on the houseboat, her generosity toward children’s charities, and that wonderfully practical goodbye—“Watch out for the idiots.” Those are the details that family and friends will smile at years from now.
One day, your grandchildren and great-grandchildren may read this without having known her well. Because of the memories you shared, they’ll come away feeling like they did.
I hope the days ahead bring you moments of laughter alongside the tears, as you remember the stories she gave you. Based on everything you’ve told me, I have a feeling Barbara would much rather have people gathered in a backyard, playing Elvis a little too loudly, sharing stories and laughing, than sitting quietly in rows. That feels very true to the woman you’ve described.
Thank you for trusting me with something so personal. It was a privilege to help you honor her memory.
May Barbara Pamela Bellavance’s memory be a blessing, and may her love continue to travel with your family—just as surely as her reminder to watch out for the idiots. ❤️
I joined the boys and we did not shine tonight but it was good to spend time together
triumphgal 