triumphgal

It sits, not so much on my shoulder but somewhere inside, maybe on a kidney, pushing down. I hobble along carrying the extra load, barely aware.. and then I become aware. I first notice the quiet in my responses, the effect on my sleep, the weird dreams. I awake sure I sold my car since I live two blocks from work. (I didn’t and don’t). Depression is the beast that lives under the bed. I never know when I am going to realize it has been creeping up on me. I do know that I have triggers and that the adrenaline rush of being hurt 11 days ago has an impact I can expect, anticipate, but not always quantify. I have had so many great things happen this week, few negatives.. and yet. I feel run down, I have to run all responses through a filter, count to three before reacting. My body is miraculous. It is a fast healer but the action of doing so seems to suck all ability to fight the chemical depression that hovers, waiting to pounce. I have many things holding space in my brain.. work for my own clients, the last of work for the Firm’s clients, Tech Director/Treasurer demands, strata council disfunction acted out from a bully, a renovation delayed due to my injury despite my new tub arriving today, promises made, and on and on and on. I had my X-ray today thanks to Cindy the GroundFloor Manager driving me. Sean and Diane came and picked up my tub to store in their garage for now. I am truly blessed by the community I have accepted and that I am slowly overcoming my severe “I can do it alone”ness. Tomorrow is another day and I will revel in the beauty of the glorious mountains covered in fresh snow, remember that it is fun to be beat by a friend at one of your favourite games and that getting my stitches out may not be as horrible as I fear.

Keri drove me again today including going to pick up pictures I ordered last night for Jake and me. Cranbrook Photo has a great site where you upload and order your photos, receiving an email when they are ready for pickup. I was thrilled that my order had arrived for a new Bluetooth keyboard case for my iPad. I am using it now and it is so much easier to blog with! I like the packaging and message on it.

Jake worked at the space for a while and then left to find that Rae and Roger’s dog, Obie had gone into his room, dug in his bag and found the baggie with one small weed cookie I had given him to help sleep. Obie was found sitting out on the picnic table shivering. Roger came home and took him to the vet where he has to stay the night, have stomach pumped and have an IV, the poor guy! I feel for him, I have greened out before and it is not a pleasant experience.

I completed my mission for the mystery shop and called my organizer to ask how to avoid ghosting the salesman I was dealing with by email. She said just to go ahead and ghost but eventually we agreed I could reply to his email that my plans to purchase acreage and move to Creston had fallen through so I would be buying a tractor at this time. I will say, if I were in the market I would go to Cervus John Deere to buy! I took a break to do some shopping from the fundraiser for Layla’s daughter’s school. Mostly wrapping paper and cards. Slowly getting my Christmas organized. May as well support a good cause. Jake came and drove me home and the first thing I did was go around and document my garden at this Fall moment. I am pleasantly surprised how many things survived the deer and the snow.

I entered the house to be reminded that something had died somewhere. I did all my dishes, cleared out the fridge and took out the garbage. There was a package of chicken thighs with a best before Oct 11 and I think they up and gave up on that day. I cooked them and put them in a cottage cheese container sealed up before putting in the outside garbage, I don’t want to attract bears or any other critters. It still smells in here but incense helps a bit and hopefully it will be gone tomorrow. I HATE WASTING Food. There was also a pack of ground turkey still good so I cooked it up and made nachos for dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow.

My toe has become super annoying as it is healing. The stitches feel tight and I am more aware of it the last two days. Tomorrow I get an X-ray and then the stitches out on Friday if all looks good.

Today was ordinary in a perfect way. Keri from down the hall at work chauffeured me, I was able to nose down and get a lot done on Firm clients which I am being extra careful to leave set up for who ever takes over. This is in spite of the fact that there are contradictions in what is being said to the clients. Some are being just told I don’t have time for them anymore which leaves me saddened but those who know me understand I am just cutting out the middle women. Jake came in and set up to work for the afternoon. I enjoyed interacting sporadically and introduced him to work mates. The horrible moment in the day was when one of the ladies in the space found out her most longtime best friend had died in a house fire. It was heartbreaking to feel her pain. It began to snow at one point but didn’t stick although one of my clients told me it was accumulating in Kimberley. Diane gave us muffins and I had brought in a dozen mini pumpkin pies so there was lots of numminess.

I ordered food for Jake and me from Family Thai and we brought it back to the house to eat while rewatching The Truman Show. I am fortunate I don’t remember movies except whether I liked them or not, allows me to be thoroughly entertained all over again.

Sure wish I could figure out what the bad smell in my place is.

Jake picked me up around 10 and we went in to my office. I got quite a bit done and after he finished his work he took off to take some photos at Norbury Lake. He returned just in time for me to have finished a file and to meet the rest of the Family for free turkey dinner at Firehall Kitchen And Tap. So much fun and even though we had to have separate seating due to the size of our group, the meal and company was fabulous. I tried the beer on tap called Hot Chocolate from Raven’s Brewing. It was a delicious porter.

Afterwards we made a quick stop at the grocery store (which had an odd dessert) and then dropped me off to complete my mail in vote, and make more mini pumpkin pies which were ready just in time for Jake and Emmy to pick me up for.. wait for it.. turkey dinner at Rae and Rogers! There was some incredible food happening there and we had a great evening. There was much to be thankful for including spending time with all my kids, their partners and kids.

After dinner all the kids headed to bed and we played a game which was not terribly hard to catch on to and fun. Jake drove me home, we had a nice visit and made a plan for tomorrow.

I made an art installation to send to Zoë. Sean and Aiden came and took away the last of my tree pruning branches and dropped me at their house to cook my pumpkin. Diane and I made a run to Safeway and I was quite surprised how many weren’t wearing masks. puréed the pumpkin and made tarts. They turned out delicious. We watched a story of Foyle’s War. My step- mom used to watch it and talk about it. I can see why she liked it. Zoë did my hair, created a Wii Mii and then we had a delicious ham dinner. After that we moved downstairs and watched Ever after. I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before. Quite enjoyed it. Thankful for them, I am.

friday night I was called by the company I occasionally do mystery shopping for and they had an urgent need to cover some jobs in Creston (an hour away), one of which had to be done by someone between 55 & 65. I accepted and then spent Saturday morning trying to recruit someone to drive me. I offered to use my car and buy lunch and ultimately my son-in-law, Ken agreed to go. I was so happy. He was super chill and patient while I got my paperwork in order, studied the scenarios and prepped. All three were quite different but only one involved outright making up a character. I was able to draw on just enough of my own truth to pull it off. I would go into more detail but it is an ongoing scenario. Stay tuned next week. The two gas station ones were easier and the employees were super nice. It was made all a little more difficult of course because of my air cast and the fact that the sky opened up. Pounding rain!! we need the rain but at one point it was a bit much. I did stop at a Farm stand and buy cukes, small cooking pumpkins and Fuji apples. Ken and I had some great chats and finally we were on our way back to Cranbrook. Just before Yahk, my phone rang and it was Jake who had just passed us on his way up from Vancouver.

By the time I settled on the couch for the evening I was exhausted. I had put on over 3000 steps and my leg could feel it. I also noticed this morning that I had a bruise on my other leg likely caused by the boot in my sleep. I decided to give in to the tired and just put a sock over my toe and went to bed before 10 which is early for me.

I am tuckered out. I had a full and lovely day and I promise to record details in the morning

Lukas and I played some more Mario and then went out and did some more yard work as it’s supposed to start raining and then even snowing soon. While we were at it, the delivery guys showed up with my laundry combo. I love it and was I pressed with the harness system to move them. It’s a shame the plumber isn’t available until the 22nd and with my toe, I can’t connect it myself the couple working on the property next door are in-laws of my friend Launi from Salt spring a Island. Small world. It was. Ice to take a pick with Cheryl and send it along.

Diane picked us up and dropped me at Dr for a dressing change before dropping Lukas at home. it didn’t hurt as much this time but is much more bruised. I really appreciate Dr Sanregret taking me in while the clinic was closed for lunch. From there Di dropped me at work and I got a lot of small things done. Zoë did a lovely hairstyle for me. There was a package waiting. I had ordered special charms from Pandora and I love them! I heated up a bowl of soup. The label was very confusing

I was given a ride by Sean and we stopped at my place to pick up all the dinner makings and then made a beer run before heading to their place. Had a great meal and an extremely close game of cribbage before watching Mulan from my phone cast to their new TV. We paid Ashlée to do a candy run for us. The height of decadence. What a lovely start to the thanksgiving weekend.

The list is getting shorter, I got so much done today. For a Thursday, it was very satisfying. As I finished each file that I would not be working on again due to my contract ending on Oct 31st, I emailed the client, thanked them for our time together and assured them they would be in good hands. I did not want to just ghost them. The responses have been varied, generally lovely And grateful. One in particular made me smile and choked at the same time.

I found a great resource online: LawDepot and was able to design and print indépendant contractor agreements for my current and new clients. Just getting all my ducks in a row.

Rae-Anne picked me up and dropped Lukas off for the night. He was going to paint the laundry cubby but I wasn’t up to trying to find all my supplies. Moving heavy totes was not a risk I wanted to take so he did a small job for me prepping and the we had dinner. I was thrilled to give him a big plate of shrimp and leftover Bacalao and watch the leftovers disappear first to comments of how much he liked it and that he’d like to go to a Portuguese restaurant! love an adventurous eater.

We really enjoyed watching the Masked Singer together and then playing some Mario. Another episode of MS and he was off to bed. Such a good boy. I watched the SNL recent episode spoofing the debate. Jim Carrey is an amazing Joe Biden. And I am pretty sure the take on the Drew Barrymore show was an actual episode. I’m so disappointed in it, sigh.

I had a decent sleep dispute the fireball attached to me. I have always been a hot sleeper and now I have a hot sock and boot to enjoy. It’s garbage day so I texted Matt. His response was the best!

Keri picked me up, bless her heart. There really are so many sunny sides to this. I admit to general bitchiness for the first two thirds of today. Healing takes energy and I think the perfect day would be work, nap, work nap, repeat. I did hang my new clings from Ashlée and Ken. I may only remove pumpkins and keep up year round.

Diane picked me up and I made Bacalao, a Portuguese dish with salt cod. I thought it was delicious and wanted to honour her heritage.

Got home and called Rae to debrief an issue with my strata council. Afterward I returned Rosie ‘s call. They are the two people I can call and talk to easily. The time flies by. I don’t generally like to talk on the phone. COVID-19 seems to be ramping up again across Canada and that is disturbing. Not sure I like the forecast

Slept much better, set no alarm hoping to get all the sleep I needed and then get working on a file from home. My connection to the remote computer wouldn’t work so I contacted Phil their IT guy and he eventually got me going. By then I was scheduling my day to take advantage of Ashlée driving me around. I spoke to Ashley at the Firm and we came to good terms about my work with clients going forward and my relationship with the firm. It was good, rebuilt some bridges. Ashlée dropped me at the Dr and they changed my dressing for me, assured me the disturbed skin on the underside of my face is from my mask and made a plan for x-ray and stitch removal. It hurt a bit changing it, that’s for sure. It looks pretty good though. Next , we went to do our groceries. It’s been a while so I took time, scanning bar codes, reading labels and getting things I can use over the next while for best diet practices. Got home in time for Gene and Leyton to show up and do yard work. I hired them to finished the things I didn’t get to once I got Injured, planting bulbs, tarping trailer, grooming tree and lawn mowing. They did such a good job! I finally hung up the wi e rack Maureen gave me. It helped as zen had shown up with the last case I ordered in the states. I made a delicious meal of mussels steamed in the wine from my Neighbour. Diane and Zoë dropped over with Layla and we had such a nice visit. We had a good catch up. I had prepped the ingredients for a Portuguese meal and Diane took them home so I can go there after work tomorrow and make it for them. Bacalao will be a first. Made a plan to get to work, going to rest now. I was just tidying up and found the note that Emmy and her Great Granny wrote. She was amazed that GG could write her name.

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to giving my body what it needs to heal. I had three major hand surgery in 11 months and I barely had two days off total when it was supposed to be 6 weeks each. Now I’ve been told to rest and make sure this toe and the new nail grow properly healed. It was a payday Monday though so of course I went in. Diane kindly delivered me to the office. It didn’t take long before the interrupted sleep caught up with me. That combined with the after effect of yesterday’s adrenaline rush had me struggling to get through the day. Keri drove me home at 4 and I brought some work with me for tomorrow. I took off the boot and rested my leg up on the couch. I need it to stop bleeding as tomorrow is change the dressing day. I had a little dinner and binge watched Transplant before heading off to bed. I’m not setting an alarm. I am a fast healer but I’m pretty sure tomorrow will hurt being the second day after. Sweet dreams

Set out to do some gardening. Got my whole bulb bed redone and then everything went sideways. The previous owners left a very heavy concrete lion. It has been a topic of conversation but I wanted it moved. I picked it up and started moving it when suddenly it fell sideways onto my foot. It was super painful but I have a high pain tolerance so just lifted it off to find it had done serious damage which nearly made me pass out upon seeing it (stop reading now if you have a weak stomach)

I called out to the neighbour’s across the street and she and the one two doors down came running. they applied a wrap and dropped me at the hospital. Over 2 hours later I was admitted and X-rayed to find my toe was broken and informed they would remove the nail completely, reposition it and sew it in place so the new nail would hopefully grow in place. Dr Bowden was amazing, the freezing hurt a lot and the nurse who helped was so kind and said it was a first that she had my nail in her hands and had to remove the beautiful polish so it could be used. The shock wore off about a half hour before they took me in so it was painful for the freezing, and I was freezing. Before the X-rays they had to soak my foot as it was glued to my shoe from blood. The nurse who’s name es apes me was so kind and even cleaned the rest of my foot before she wheeled me to the pharmacy to get anti-biotic seems and an air cast. The pharmacy staff were amazing getting me fitted for my ‘boot’. Reaping led me up for a family dinner at her Dads and Ashlée drove me home and took away the rest of my garden mess I’d left. I arrived to a get well card and a gift from the neighbour’s who helped me which just blows my mind. I’ve arranged a ride to work from Diane and will figure it all out from there. Pisses me off that my riding season is done. Roger will come help put my bike away.

Takes a community to raise a Marnée, am grateful I have such a great one.

It really was quite fascinating, and I am grateful to the staff at East Kootenay Regional Hospital and all the friends who kept me calm as I shared the experience on Facebook. I was on the edge of an anxiety attack and they all talked me off the edge.

A young lad asked on Facebook if anyone needed chores done as he was raising money for a new bicycle. I hired him today to help me in the yard. The first impression was that he was smaller and younger than I expected. Turns out he’s been boxing for 6 years and is strong and observant. I had advertised my washer and dryer and reached out to a friend for carpentry work before Layton arrived. Of course everything happened at once. While I was quickly getting my laundry washed and hung, coordinating the withdrawal of my machines by new owner and explaining the Reno to Jason, he made himself busy raking and doing other jobs. We put away the pool, took down the gazebo and covered up the Willys for winter. I was happy to pay him and he is looking forward to helping again.

After everyone left I began dismantling the cabinets and getting the alcove ready for the new laundry combo and fridge. Underneath the panel was some I liked far better. I will paint it to match cabinets. I’ve enquired after a plumber whom Jason recommended Justin from Just in time. Clever. Hope to hear from him on Monday to arrange moving laundry service, ready for fridge Ice maker and dishwasher hookup.

Beautiful things happening in the yard and the tomatoes are still trying!

Off to closing night of the show. I actually am sad and glad. it was a really great night. The actors were on and Trevor was back and all tech worked. The Directors gave me a lovely gift and feedback from all was lovely.

I have had company

I took down the lighting and brought home all my stuff, set the booth for the church renters in the morning and said my goodbyes to the directors. It was weird to just go home on closing night but COVID has changed everything. It was just great to be part of a community making theatre again.

Worked so hard on a tough file, met with Maureen about CCT treasurer stuff, went and bought my appliances and got some great deals. They will start arriving next Friday! super grateful to get to theatre early and have time to fix the things Pepijn and I discovered wrong. The special effect over the stage had broken last night and the director organized someone to come fix it. We arrived to find a light moved and the projector out of place. Got those things solved but when the show was running the special effect didn’t work. I was standing ready to move a set piece when I got two message on my watch to stay and solve it. We tested it twice and I feel it will work for tomorrow’s closing night. It is too bad that my advice to have it activated from backstage (where I ended up being) was not taken. Yes, that was an I told you so. I just dislike speaking into a void. I also wonder why the sound and lighting crew were the last to leave. I’d have thought it is the Stage manager’s job. Community theatre, am I right?! Oops I am whining. I was going to stop that! I shall sip my expensive scotch and watch my shows.

Octo means 8 and i find it interesting that October is the eighth month since we became very aware of COVID-19 and all the changes in our lives began. It is also the day that the Trumps announced their diagnoses. This doesn’t bring me joy but it does feel like, well, it’s about time. seemed nearly inevitable.

I was on my way to work when Rae texted a picture. At a glance I knew why she sent it and tried to voice to text as I was driving. The result left me giggling for some time

I love my cookie buggy. It goes perfect with my Jack that I’ve had for years.

After work I headed over to The Brick as there is a good sale going on and I wish to replace appliances and update my kitchen. I took measurements and Dom Z was a super knowledgeable young man. He promised the deals would still be there, printed me all the info and sent me on my way to ponder. I’d been in the house about 5 minutes when I knew I was going back to purchase as soon as possible.

The show went well tonight. I feel sad for Trevor as he has a cold and can’t be involved due to COVID restrictions. Brent learned the lines in a day and did the role tonight. He was very good. There is a magic that I have experienced in the past when sick. The second I step on stage it is gone for the duration. My character is not sick therefore I am well for that magical time. I once walked offstage and threw up but no o e knew in the audience that I was sick. Trevor could take the opportunity and we are all grateful he wasn’t there to share the bug but sad, never the less.

Seems the deer repellant may be working.

I worked for most of the day and then headed to The Dainty Nail for my first set since February. Krista works in an office across from mine and is learning to do nails in her home. She charges a lower rate and is continuing to learn her skills. I am pleased and able to look past the small issues. It is nice to have girly nails again

Afterwards I picked up my duvet from the laundry and then stopped at Top Crop to look for deer repellant that had been recommended by Auntie Ollie. Of course I never get out of there easily. I picked up some plants and bulbs and was given a pepper plant. I put it in a metal bucket and gave it to Rae when she came to pick me up for the concert. I popped over to debrief the day with Diane. Got home in time to spray my plants and that repellent really is disgusting smelling. May be regretting my choices.

Seeing Chantal Kreviazuk in Royal Alexandra Hall was just lovely. Only 50 people and you even had to order drinks in advance. She has a brilliant voice and is a great story teller. I do love singer songwriters. It had been 202 days since the last Key City Theatre performance of the Rocky Mountain film Fest. I geared up when we gave the first Standing ovation. It had been so long since we got to celebrate an Artist in person.

When Rae dropped me off we sat in her vehicle chatting and downloading for as long as my bladder would hold. Hated to end it but all that wine! September ended very well!!

Arrived at work to find my daughter Rae-Anne just walking out and we had a great parking lot visit on a stunningly gorgeous Autumn morning. Seems she had dropped off flowers! I will admit that flowers are part of my love language. I had a husband once upon a time Who wouldn’t buy me flowers because he was told by his mom that plants were better than flowers because they are living. I couldn’t seem to make them understand that giving someone flowers was not about you it was about the person you were giving them to. The husband before him would bring me flowers on the regular but they were always dozens of roses and he would march them in to where I worked because again they were all about him. I don’t think I’ve loved cut roses much since then. She left me the perfect combo of so many things I love including Fall Crocuses which seem to be on steroids

I worked so hard to finish off my last: “I have to get this done by the 29th or else” file only 15 minutes before a client arrived for me to give her payroll training and set up a new company. She was there right to the end of my day and it was a treat. So nice to work with kind, intelligent people who want to learn and soak up what you have to offer.

Headed home to try out the new (to me) T-Fal Actifryer. Made a peanut satay chicken and banana meal that we spooned over brown basmati rice. It was so freaking delicious I forgot to take a picture and start to finish it was about 20 minutes. Low Weight Watchers points and easy, I’m hooked.

After dinner Mom headed off to Kimberley and will head home from there on Friday. I found myself hugging her and just wanting to memorize the moment.

I headed off to a Cranbrook Community Theatre board meeting. it went very well. I rescinded my resignation as a Tech Director and am also voted as treasurer which is no surprise. One has to steer the ship from the right wheelhouse… I am mostly looking forward to putting together a wish list for an upcoming grant application. I was on the CCT Board two years ago and had to deal with some tough past issues. It seems I am back in time for the current climate of Covid-19 and what that means for the Arts. I welcome the challenge.

Stopped at the Campbells on the way home to see the finale of their renovation. So beautiful. Poor Diane can hardly move from all the painting she has done since Saturday. I hope she sees how beautiful it is and that it was worth it, with or without spousal assistance.

I cannot believe tomorrow is the last day of September already. I have completed my first quarter!

Headed out to jump in my car this morning and found the deer had partaken of the salad bar I provided. Rise buds, sweet peas, hydrangeas, sun flowers, dahlias, etc etc, all gone.

The joy in the day was getting a parcel from Amazon and transplanting my wee spider plant in the office.

And then the rest of the evening was delightful as Rosie, Danika and Emmy joined Mom and I for dinner and a play in the park. Emmy is hilarious and kept us all on point. She felt GG was just a little bit slow and had fun teasing her in their swinging competition. Over 75 years between them, such a treat to watch the fun.

Mom and I watched the first 4 episodes of Why Women Kill and we are hooked. Love the timelines, the actors, the costumes and all. On W network, worth checking out.

Tomorrow will be busy as the month end nears. October promises to come with its own special challenges as it leaves one month left in my contract to the firm. Much to do including training whomever takes over files, I’m sure. I look forward to not having nightmares about it.