triumphgal

Just another day in the life

I was left with so many thoughts about the two conversations I had with two very dear friends. I had been asked by Maureen to put together a wish list of gear for the community theatre and I reached out to Doug Cox for advice. His experience as Artistic Director of Vancouver Island MusicFest, professional musician and sound engineer made him the perfect go to. I emailed him and bless his heart, he called. We had a great conversation, I learned much and was not wanting to hang up as it was so good to hear his voice. It seems we are both finding our joy in staying close to home in the midst of this. Later as Maureen and I were taking our drive we elaborated on the possibilities in Cranbrook for the avid volunteer. We both share similar passions and desire to keep good things going. It will be interesting to see where my time ends up being spent. This morning, the choices rattle around in my brain looking for the moment to land and feel true to my purpose

If I stop to dwell on this mission to blog I become overwhelmed with all the little issues. I try not to go back and reread. The temptation to edit is too great, even to fix the spelling and grammar changes the meaning of the moment. To not go back also leaves me wondering how often I repeat myself, how often I live in self doubt and display a life of chaos or judgement that is not mine to own. I know who some are, as SK would call them, constant readers. I am thrilled when I get a notification that there is a new follower or someone who liked a particular day’s ramblings. Mostly though, in spite of it’s potential to do so. this is not an ego booster. I use it like an antidepressant. I express my thoughts and feels, comment on the life I lead with it’s mundane moments and it’s great realizations and experiences. Today’s joys were in the simplicity of a good long call with my son, a request to take on an old client in a new capacity, reconciling an account long abandoned, a delicious leftover lunch, finding a specialty soap and a card on my desk from a new friend, having a friend to join me on a drive to Marysville and a pub dinner, a glass of wine with friends, and tears watching Archie on AGT.

It was 0 degrees centigrade when I awoke this morning. It will be 24-29 for the rest of the week. The seasons come strong and full in the Rocky Mountains. I enjoy all the seasons but don’t look forward to taking down the pool!! It attracts joy like my flowers attract bees.

I had raggedy sleep last night. No alarm though due to the Labour Day long weekend. I spent the morning researching and ordering a tech item to create a special effect for the upcoming show. Although I think Aiden and I created something wonderful with what we had available, it seems the Directors want more and it’s their show. I will meet the challenge. I can honestly say I am on my way out though. I’m not sure where I will point my creative drive once I have handed over the reins but I do see that my goal to lessen my stress, live my true life and get healthier is achievable. Acting is my passion but so is photography, writing, remodeling, family and so much more. It occurred to me that I may have thrived more under isolation. I like time for me. For brunch i tried some Chicken Bacon in my new microwave cooker. It was delicious and perfectly cooked.

Argh as I am writing I have my 90 Day fiancé show playing. As I wasn’t holding the remote I was instantly grossed out by the Dr Pimple Popper and toe fungus commercials.

It rained and blew hard in the night so I spent time taking care of a few things around the yard, gathering my money back recycles, etc. before heading to work for a bit. I managed to get a file done and sent for more info and then gathered a bunch of files together to send back in the inter office mail pouch. I decided I needed to start things moving forward and give back the files I won’t be working on in the next two months or that need to be reassigned soon so I can train/assist. I was overwhelmed with a funk, a near depression, a flood of emotion. This happens when I am dealing with something I know i must do or when someone in my life is struggling with issues. Today could have been either. I did find the mail I had received last week that brought me joy, a letter from the Mayor. I know it’s à formality but it’s a very nice touch.

My joy was in returning home to the beauty of my only blooming sunflower shining bright in the 14 degree day

I brought in my laundry and loaded up the empties and Bill’s post hole augers I’d borrowed as well as a thank you bottle of wine. Before I left to deliver I finally hung my name sign in the shelter of my porch. It was painted for me years ago by my dear friend Jenny Bradford. I miss her and her love Erin very much. They were always good and kind and freaking entertaining.

I dropped off the tools at the Perreault’s and stood amongst the sun flowers in their garden eating cherry tomatoes. It was a soul filling moment. Next was off to the SPCA just off the highway out of town. There is a Road in that ends at a gate which is locked when they are closed and beside it is a lean to where you can donate empties. as I approached I saw a young guy coming towards the gate from the other side. It seemed odd but I presumed him to be an employee and hoped he wouldn’t ask me for a ride as I didn’t have spare mask with me for him. I pulled up and got out to put my bag of empties in the shed. That was when I noticed he was awkwardly trying to climb through the gate rather than open it or hop over. He kept his face hidden and made me wonder if he was under the influence. He seemed to get stuck at one point and I think he may have sacked himself. It was at this point that I just got back in my car and backed up to turn around. Just then a green pickup truck came down the lane toward us but stopped suddenly when it saw us and did a u-turn. I was now driving slowly towards it but it had pulled off to the left and as I passed I couldn’t see who was driving. After I passed it did a u-turn again so I crept along keeping it in my rear view mirror. When I stopped on the road it stopped too. I was already suspicious of the walker so I waited to see if he jumped in the truck but he just stumbled along past it without any apparent acknowledgement. At this point I grabbed my phone and tried to call the SPCA but got a message as I suspected so I called the non-emergency RCMP number. I could have driven back and gotten a license plate but didn’t want to get trapped down a single lane. I gave a report similar to all above. About half an hour later I got a call from a constable who said she had actually hopped the fence and it looked like every thing was in order at the SPCA and all the empties were there. She did find it strange someone was on the other side and asked me for a full description. She felt the two things were unrelated potentially but I likely interrupted something. She was going to make a few more rounds over the evening and thanked me for calling it in. I can’t explain my hinky feelings but I am glad I follow through. I do need to have the reflex to take a pic sometimes though. I also am super happy she let me know!

Awoke at a decent time, had a coffee and was about to head out to build my gate for the back side of the trailer when I ran into a doe in the yard. .

This of course motivated me to get working on my gate even more. I got as much done as I could before the heat and the need for a cool shower.

Next chore on the list was to grab Aiden and head to the theatre. Our goal was to figure out a lighting cue for an Aurora Borealis. We worked really well together and made something that works. We set the cue and videoed it for the director. She would like to see it differently. We shall see what others come up with. It was super great to do this with Aiden. At 16, he is great to work with. I was excited to go tell Sean and Diane how well it worked and show them the video. Their friends had arrived from a Calgary having waited for their COVID tests. It was instant connection with them. Had a great evening over steak dinner, scotch, good conversation and a game of Rummoli. So nice to have another day off tomorrow although I suspect I will go in for a while.

I spent the morning researching and preparing lighting design ideas for the show Almost, Maine. I came up with some ideas that give me relief. I also reached out to my old friend, Marv on Salt Spring for suggestions. Next thing I strapped my lawn chair to my bike, brought a water bottle and snack and headed for Moir Park. I had booked a free ticket to the first “COVID” concert. The Fisher Peak music festival people put on a great event. We all got wristbands and our own circle to watch from. It was so hot but so good for the soul. The first act was Sheva, a fiddle and guitar couple from Mayook. They were so charming. Next was Four Deer Run from Kimberley. Wow can that boy sing! I was actually just lost in the joy of being outside in nature, soaking up the vibe. Bob & Michelle were in a relatively close circle and it was nice to chat and share the moment.

I was invited to go over to the Campbells which my overheated self appreciated. I brought a few games. I got beat at my favourite one from my Bella Bella days that Sarah and I used to play often, Patchwork. After dinner Sean, Aiden and I played Family Matters, a fun mob boss game. I have all the fans going now and am watching tv. My soul has been filled by music and friends and fun.

I have a tough decision to make in the next week or so about how I use my volunteer time. In the past I have lived by see a need, fill it. I need to accept that because I can doesn’t mean I have to. it is complicated in ways I never expected but I know that volunteer hobbies shouldn’t leave me feeling like I need to get a divorce. I shall sleep on it.

Hopped on the bike and rode into the sunrise. had a very productive day and finished it off with dinner at friends. It feels like everything is getting back to normal after the chaos of the week. A year ago I was in Brighton Beach walking in the English Channel and spending time with my dear Hearndens. I will see them again and travel will happen again, I must rely on that belief.

My fave line of the day came from an article about a recent Hurricane which said, “Nana weakened to a tropical depression “. I can relate.

The little square on my paper calendar and the list on my phone was full with Dentist for cleaning, Tech meeting for upcoming show and strata council meeting. I brought Aiden with me to the tech meeting as I think he would be great as a theatre volunteer and it will be a good college résumé item as well. He had interesting perspectives of what was needed and the people there. I look forward to his help.

I fear for my friends relationship. Disintegration in action of anything is hard to watch and far harder to experience. I try to remember what I would have wanted as any of my three marriages broke down. I know with the first one it was what we now know was post-partum depression and all I wanted was someone to help me, to get me through it, to understand what I didn’t. To teach me to swim as I was drowning. I don’t know how to be the lifeguard but I know how to listen. I want to be the lifeline. I need them to be ok.

Last night’s full moon left me struggling to wake up after tossing and turning but a connection I’d made through Facebook dating left me with a little spring in my step after a messenger chat this morning. I forget it is activated and was surprised to get a message from a nephew of a friend. We had a great chat last night and this morning so when my day was over I reached out. It was funny as he requested we video message and then I basically listened to him for an hour and 10 minutes. He was super sweet but there were a few red flags for me. I will see what happens as he lives in an East Kootenay town but not here. I am also 9 years older and he has kids at home. So many hurdles, none insurmountable but…. I am grateful to him for stirring up the idea that I may want someone in my life. Maybe it doesn’t have to be a for always but a for fun for now. I do like me a tall drink of water. Maybe a toy boy could be good company in these interesting times.

I started my day on my motorcycle taking a swing past the site of the calamity. As I went by I noticed two things that caught my artistic eye so I swung way around the block and pulled into the parking lot next door. There was a barricade and police tape across part of the parking lot which I parked next to but a wide open spot at the sidewalk. I walked along there and zoomed my phone in to take the shot above. There is something incredibly moving to me when I see only chimneys or elevator shafts left standing after a fire. My favourite part of building houses was always the concrete work. Laying the foundation knowing that it would be there forever in relative terms gave me great satisfaction. The spookiness of only that shaft remaining as a recognizable part of the building went well against the morning sky. I did move a little closer back towards my bike as I had also noticed a potential ‘money’ shot. I lined up, zoomed in and took the shot. That was it, two pictures of a place I had spent a bit of time in my life in back in the ‘80s when it was the legion with cheap beer and pool tables. The whole time I was aware there was an RCMP member in his car across the rubble watching but I didn’t see him get out of his car. Then I heard beside me a loud Excuse me you need to leave the site. It seems I had in my awe moved on the wrong side of the barricade. I was no where near but respectfully said thank you and have a great day before I rode off.

This is the second picture which I titled Twisted Peaks as that is Fisher Peak framed in the twisted metal. My ‘mistake’ was posting it on the Cranbrook, BC Facebook page. I was the first one to post fire pics yesterday and everyone was sharing them. Today, the Karens came out to play. I should not let trolls ruin my day but it’s not that easy. I was grateful for those who left beautiful comments. This photo, as my friend Sioban put it, is both Tragic and Beautiful. That was my intention. Not all who look, see. They will not be part of my tribe. That’s ok. it also shows how incredibly hot that fire burned.

I didn’t look after my health very well today, skipped a couple meals, etc but was thrilled when my eldest daughter called to confirm she was eager to go to Kimberley to have dinner at The Sully. This was the spot her father and I used to frequent and although it doesn’t resemble the old pub much, the food sure is good and they’ve done a good job retro fitting for COVID. We had a great visit downloading our days and relationships. I came home to my new digital box from Shaw and when I moved things around and hooked them up I was easily able to turn 3 remotes into one in the living room and two into one in the bedroom. Success! Now if the boxes work together rather than the chaotic mess I had previously all will be right in my world of TV.

Tomorrow has a list on my calendar so off to sleep I must go. Ciao, my friends.

I love my calendar flip today. I do feel like I have an amazing tribe. Monika brought me a beautiful plant and card to congratulate me for making big moves. The CFEK crew brought cake! It turned out to be perfect timing as we were all at odds during a power outage. What a lovely gift of support for tough choices!

I had gone to the dentist to get a slight adjustment on my Crown and when I came out I noticed a bit of black smoke billowing down the strip. of course I had to go investigate. The fire had clearly just started but was going hard and the wind wasn’t helping. It was a building I spent a good deal of time in back in the day when it was the légion and it was the original Crestbrook office which is likely where my stepmom was working when my Dad met her. I haves heard it was mid renovation after sitting empty for a very long time. Such a shame. It also burned down the restaurant downwind if it. Everyone is ok but such losses. It also caused the power to be down for a while and created havoc trying to connect to servers when it came back up.

After cake I headed to Rae’s to see how they were doing. Ended up hanging out in the yard chatting and then took the boys to their first full restaurant outing since March. We walked down to The Firehall and enjoyed way too much delicious food. Roger joined us but had to sit at a separate table where Gene joined him as we were already 6. Next we walked over to Twisted Peaks for froyo. So delicious and so glad we were walking to burn some of it off. Great to spend time with the boys. Sawyer thought it was the best time ever.

My system was gurgling today, indicating stress. It is time to cut the cord and my system knows this will not be easy because I care about my legacy and my clients that are the firms. I slogged through my work day and at the end of it sent an email resignation from our contract giving two months rather than one for notice. I began to feel better. Human connection is so complicated. I aim to be the best human I can in an ordinary world but know I will fail In measuring up to others hopes or requirements. The best I can do is feel good about my contribution to the world and not feel like I sacrificed myself entirely in the process. yes, I dread tomorrow. I feel better about today. In the end, this is my one and only life.

Sometimes one is witness to the inner workings of a family relationship, the curtain is parted and there is no magic. All one can do is feel for all involved, keep your head down and pray this will pass. It is a part of friendship that crosses over to family when you see turmoil. The trick is to remain calm, not take it on and honestly hope for the best. in a completely selfish way I don’t want things to change. I suspect this is a pattern and if there were something I could do I would wave that magic wand.

I think I will sleep better tonight. I am prepared for whatever response I get. I do not intend to sling mud no matter how full my bucket.

Dug the holes and installed the last two fence posts. Hot work but less hot than last week. Danika arrived to drop off Emmy just as I was finishing. Emmy played in the pooled and told me stories. A while later Zoë got dropped off and the two became fast friends at first meeting. They played and made me laugh, especially the interviews. Zoë said it was like having a little sister. So sweet. Danika came for leftover dinner and we had a nice visit. Spent the evening on theatre things and posting items for sale. Immediately sold a screen door and when I noticed he had pavers in his truck we ended up trading. Good deal as I want to make a bit of a patio space. I find the pea gravel horrible to walk on. He had just left and I was tending to watering when I got a text that the other Diane in my life was in my driveway. Haven’t seen her in too long and we wandered the yard and caught up. Hope to go walking tomorrow. my nose is very dry, the sky is Smokey.

I wanted to ride the couch and catch up on my shows this morning but I realized I needed to finish my yard work before the sun beat down. I dug up some more sod and transferred it to the bare spots, raked in the rocks, planted my strawberries, mowed the lawn and weeded. I shall buy the ingredients to make Julie’s weed spray. A bonus was pictures marked free and left by the community mailbox that go so well on my Fence. Suddenly it was time to rush off to the dentist. It was Crown Day. Unfortunately the experience was marred by acid reflux. I managed to barely hold it together. $1165.00 later I have a shiny tooth. I do like Dr Mike. We usually have a few good laughs. After that I picked up a few things at Home Hardware as my collapsible laundry basket had arrived and then off to Walmart. I was looking for The Brave Little Toaster as Diane has never even heard of it. They didn’t have it but I picked up a few things and managed to drop a jar of Alfredo sauce at the check out. Mortifying! The staff were amazing and more concerned that I was ok. Very impressive. I picked up Zoë to come play in the pool while her parents laid flooring in the basement. Eventually they were all here for a Spring Salmon and corn on the BBQ, baby potatoes, fresh beans and salad. We ate and then lit the fire and watched The Missing Link outside. It was a most lovely relaxed evening. Good times with good folk.

Started the day saying goodbye to Julie. She is a good friend that I met when we were both 13 and on a Girl Guide trip to https://www.wagggs.org/es/our-world/world-centres/our-cabana/ what an experience that was! Over the years we have managed to keep a close connection even if there were long gaps in communication. She even drove up with me in the moving truck to Cranbrook in 2016. Since then she has received one cochlear implant and it has changed her life. I hope she gets the next, they are very expensive. It was fascinating to learn how it works and how she managed. She heard i was loaded with work and does bookkeeping so I asked if she wanted to drive up and stay for a few days and I’d pay her for some work. We managed to get some site seeing in and a lot of garden work as well as some of the book work. There were good laughs and cries and I tried hard not to be bossy and freaked out having someone in my home. I didn’t always succeed but that’s what makes good friends, letting things go. I was grateful to get the text that she was home safe and sound. I spent my evening running a few errands, having delicious leftovers and watching my recorded shows.

Tomorrow I get my crown , I’d best get some beauty sleep.

Slogged through the day, got as much done as possible and headed off to my hair appointment at Jagged Edge. Three hours later I felt well pampered, had experienced a great visit with Karissa who I’ve known since she was a graduate with my daughter Rae-Anne and felt more relaxed. It has been since February when I last had her shave the side of my head. I refrained for now and just got a trim and colour. While I was waiting I watched a bit of The Fine Boys featuring a friend, Jeff Osmond on drums, live from Newfoundland. Great treat. By the time I got out I was late to pick up Julie and Diane to go for dinner. We had planned on the Heidout but it was busy so headed to Mr Mikes for a great meal (ribs) and better company. Afterwards we went to Dianes and played Heads Up with Sean as well. So much laughter I and a good way to end Julie’s stay. I think she is stressed about the drive home tomorrow and where she may stop over. Can’t really help there, made a few suggestions but I would be checking ahead for occupancy during these different times.

I look forward to sleep, it hasn’t taken me anytime at all to adjust to my weighted blanket. I highly recommend the brand and the concept.

I ran into that imaginary wall today. Got a fair bit done, enjoyed takeout Family Thai order with Julie, Cindy and Madison at the office and then an hour or so later I was done. Kept working but it got harder and I had less patience. Finally we got to the point where we could leave things until tomorrow and got out of there. I took Julie on a weird tour. first we stopped to inspect Diane’s near (& now) finished basement painting. Made plans for the three of us to do dinner tomorrow night. Next was a drive by hugging of Emmy and then a drive out and around the St Eugene Casino area so Julie could take mountain pictures. A lazy drive back through the beautiful countryside and we made a nice dinner with the veggies she picked up on the way here. I went out and did a little more yard work and we settled on the couch with Twisted Peaks frozen yogurt we’d picked up, a nice bottle of wine and a few shows on Prime Video. First was one Sean had recommended that cracked me up. The Goes Wrong Show makes me wish I’d thought if it! We also finished watching Eco-challenge The World’s Toughest Race. It was very emotional. All in all a good day but I am worried about Jules as her feet are swelling. She has a long drive home so I hope they go down or it may not be wise to leave.

I am so incredibly exhausted that this is going to be short. I’m going to throw up a big bunch of pictures to show you what incredible friends I have that helped me finish off the things that I wanted to do for two years because that is exactly how long I have had my home in this location. Julie as always has helped me with the gardening Sean came over and put the floor in my she shed with just one little strip left to rip so it can be put in. Because every shed that holds an ‘04 Triumph should have proper flooring, just saying. We used the sod that we took out to put the garden strips in to fill in a poorly placed circle of gravel and garden but there wasn’t quite enough so my brain won’t let me leave it like that even though we put some dirt down and seeded it I am going to go cut some sod away from another spot and fill it in with hopes that it will grow. (Now that was a run in sentence). I only wish that Diane could’ve been here but she was busy painting out their newly drywall’s the basement renovation. I am grateful she lent me her husband while he is waiting to get in to do the flooring after her painting.

There was nearly nothing that went right in the technical aspects of mine or Julie’s world today. This created a strange amount of panic for me. I didn’t get much done that I intended to and was very grateful to get home. We ate, watched an episode of toughest race and headed outside to dig up sod and plant my bounty from Saturday that would die if it didn’t get in soil soon. We work well together and got it done in the dark. Will see what it really looks like in the morning. The day ended with more race and wine and now I can’t wait to go to bed under my new weighted blanket that was awaiting my arrival home !

Up and at it, spread dirt and seeded areas of my lawn where the pool was last year. Washed the car to get the most of it off then we headed out. First stop was the actual car wash which was only mildly better. Not sure what’s going on with my car’s finish. May have to drop in to Honda. The big bonus was the Vacuum there. Managed to get all the plant detritus and winter gravel out. We were laughing at the fact that even the simplest chores are more fun and quicker with two.

Next was a road trip to Kimberley as Julie hadn’t made it there last time. We toured upper townsite, Cominco Gardens, the Ski Hill, the Platzl and lower Blarchmont. Everywhere we entered we masked up and it was nice to wander in and out spending bits here and there. I picked up a cute bathing suit top half price and an opal ring at Arrow and Axe. Discovered that Talaria sells Fluevogs by walking in and asking what brand those shoes were in the window that look like Fluevogs. I didn’t know they sold them outside their own stores. All were half price but none that fit me,,,

Next stop after ice cream was the Marysville Falls. Gorgeous as always but less visible as the trees have all grown up. We hurried back for a quick stop at Safeway as Rae and the boys were coming for BBQ and swim. I started to get anxious and I think it was a combo of being out so much in public and having someone stay in my home that isn’t family. Not rational, just Covid.

Had a lovely time with the family, started watching Missing Link outside but it’s not quite dark enough early enough for the kids yet. After they left and all was cleaned up Julie and I watched three episodes of the World’s Toughest Race, Eco-challenge. I feel we will be binging it this week. CAnada is doing well, just no focus on them for some reason. It’s really been a very full weekend.

Up early, watched a few episodes of Umbrella Academy. Am quite enjoying it. Headed off to Home Depot to trade a few plumbing parts as I plan to finally solve the one of my double sinks won’t drain issue. While there I picked up primer for Diane which nicely traded for two bottles of Moscato when I dropped it off. I decided to get the matching set of door handles for my new door as it will arrive soon and they are on half price. On my way to the car I spot a clearance sale in the garden department. Next thing you know my car is full of plants and i am on my way. Even had a grasshopper buddy.

Drive through A&W. Got the fish and chips…nope.

Installed my fence, mowed my lawn, planted the bushes i bought and was so tired I could not do any more. Came in and replumbed under the kitchen sink. I don’t know why it took 2 years to do such a simple fix but now I have drainage from both sinks! I then took a shower and completed my cleaning for my soon to arrive guests.

Maureen showed up and we had nice little visit before Julie showed up after a very long drive from the coast. She brought me an amazing mask. We had pasta with shrimp and scallops and a fab garden salad grown by Maureen!

After a challenge to get it set up as it had been a while, we had the computer projected on the trailer wall and my sound bar working. Tonight’s encore presentation from CCT was Visiting Mr. Green with Jerrod Bondy and Michael Grossman. I enjoyed it. The set was awesome and the guys were brilliant. It was lovely to sit outside with the ladies with fire going watching it.

Just before the ladies arrived I had messaged an old boyfriend to thank him for my very productive day. I had woken early all hot and bothered from a dream about him. I had to thank him for the memories, it was only fair 🙂