I saw another tenant in my workspace had a cool plant light and ordered myself one on Friday. It arrived today and I look forward to seeing my plants thrive that are away from the window. I also dig the purple light in my workspace.
Lots done today and then a Board meeting. Glad to be home where it is warm and cozy. There is much on my plate this week but I feel good about it all.
Today was my Grandad Bellavance’s birthday. He was born in Ought Five which seemed amazing to me as a kid, being born in 1905 and here we are in a time when that means 2005! I loved him dearly. I don’t think I have experienced that kind of unconditional love since. I was often threatened as a form of punishment, “what would your grandparents think?”. I hope that my grandkids just know I love them in my own weird way. I feel it deeply but am awkward at expressing it. I miss my Grandad and Nana, they saw the best in me.
Today I did laundry and went to a client’s for almost 5 hours. I found myself getting frustrated and hangry so I came home and made a delicious salad.
I have been slightly obsessing about my future plans. I watch a lot of the 90 day Fiancé series and am too likely to compare my own life and say, see that’s why I don’t go on apps anymore, there is no depth in short term relationships that attempt to be distanced ones. Is it the same with friends? Am I missing the people that I had intense wonderful times with but no real mirror that shows who we would be over a long time? Is that why I move often? 6 years here is a long time for me. When I think of moving am I running to or away? I have decided just to take it a day at a time, make lists, make plans, pack a bag and be ready to go. That keeps me dreaming of the future and grounded in the present, both of which are healthy for me. I do miss my Besties though. Xo
I was busy with chores on an early fall snowy day. Next was off to the Key City Theatre to volunteer for Washboard Union tonight. It’s not my usual style of music but these guys put on a good show that was very well received. Talking with the bus driver outside after, he mentioned that he travels the continent and finds Canadians are very chill but sure know how to party, lol.
today was pretty great as my end of the building was empty so I was able to play my podcasts, get a lot done and work in peace. I shared a lunch of Carrot, Turmeric and Ginger soup with Cindy and then got back at it until the internet tanked out. It was 5 so I decided to call it quits. Rae-Anne picked me up for our night out. It was a personal invitation to friends and family night for an interactive play night at the Cranbrook Heritage Museum. We were to dress a la 1961 which I think we did well at. The play, We Are Not Amused, was well intentioned but we both felt there were too many missing pieces to make it truly interactive and there was no way to guess the killer, or killed for that matter. All in all, though, we had a nice night out and I hope it is successful for them. Afterwards, we went to the Blind Pig where Shannon met us and we had a great visit. Shannon drove me home after and we had a good visit to catch up on all that has been going on. She just left and I realized it is closing on 2 am which is unusual for me! One of my great gratitudes was that she was the blood taker the day of my surgery in March and it was such a blessing to see her that morning when I was in fear. I am tired and keeping this short but I must say, it was a really great day!
I started the day making a lovely tuna salad for lunch. The rest of the time was mostly taken up with more volunteer work. It was good to have Natalia at the office again and she will be back next week to move on to learning about paying and reconciling. From the office I stopped at Arby’s to pick up the coupons they provided for our Fisher Peak volunteer party and then just made it on time for my gig as the concessions person for Misery at CCT tonight. It was nice to see so many familiar and new faces out for the show. I tried hard not to listen as I will be seeing it on the 29th, closing night. I feel bad for Tracey, the lead, as she hurt her back and it was hard for her tonight. The show must go on, I hope she feels better tomorrow. I did enjoy working there and catching up with a friend going through a separation. Didn’t see that coming but had hoped I wasn’t seeing something wrong in the late winter last year. Apparently I was. Hate to see anyone going through that, especially with a solo child.
Today would have been my Dad’s 83rd birthday, if he hadn’t died at aged 64. I was aware of the day, felt the sadness, but so much time has passed, I shall toast him in memory and hold the memories dear.
Last night I had a gummie about an hour and a half before bed and as I started to feel tired, I went to bed. I then auto piloted taking my pills and inadvertently popped a new sleep assist gel. When my alarm went off at 7:30 I was completely wasted. I kept setting another hour, hoping to sleep it off. At 10 I had water and a snack and a shower. It was overwhelming, I sat on the couch and slept until noon before trying to get dressed. I couldn’t and fell asleep again. It was nearly 2 before I felt clear headed enough to drive. I did get a file done thank goodness. I am now home and ready to go to bed again, with NO assistance.
I slept a little better last night which is good as I left the office after 9 pm. I spent most of it on a complicated file and then filed the government requirements for a local charity I do the books for. It was easier to do with no interruptions. I feel gratitude for getting big items off my list, feeling a lot of relief. Now I am going to have a Crown and relax in front of the tube before sinking into a deep sleep (fingers crossed)
I could not get to sleep last night due to my right hip aching for some reason and the struggle left me very weary for today. I took a CBD only gummy to focus and worked at all I needed to get done on this payday Monday. After work I did a mystery shop at a local cannabis retailer and picked up some sleep aids while there. I had one over an hour ago and am starting to feel the calmness. I didn’t want to check out for the day without checking in, though. I sometimes wish this was two way, so I could ask how you are all doing but know that if you are reading along on this journey of mine, mundane or otherwise, I am sending you love! No, that is not just a generality, I really do love that you are here and find something inspiring, shocking or boring (if you are trying to get to sleep as well) about my little life. I am having thoughts about some interesting things I can do in the near future while still working. I hope I get my car back tomorrow as not having it is the one thing that still has me thrown off of my daily joy. Anyway, hope you all are able to rest well. It is amazing how a lack of sleep has such impact on state of mind and ability to perform. On that note, sweet dreams, peace out.
I had gone to bed early so woke at a decent time but definitely felt like I had not drank water yesterday. I made coffee and sat on the couch to finish Emmy’s Silkie. I had recordings of The Masked Singer to watch. I was pleasantly surprised at the serendipity of the first unmasking I saw to be Eric Idle and he sang the song that Roger did for his Dad yesterday! I rewound and videoed it to share with the family.
I finished Silkie and Danika is happy with it. We will make a plan to get it to her. Missy is having fun with a nearly empty roll of ribbon.
Next it was outside to mow the lawn, put away a few more things and attach the hooks to my gates.
I popped off to Home Hardware in search of potting soil which they did not have but I grabbed a few fun games for Birthday and Christmas presents. Next was Walmart, where I found the soil and a shirt on sale. I stopped at work to pick up an empty pot and some small plants to replant together including the white rose from the service yesterday.
I got all that done and them made some dinner which was good. I am officially down 35 pounds now and that is a very good feeling. Tracey came over and I lit a fire as we sat outside drinking cider and catching up on the last few days. She and Jesse did Rae-Anne’s windows today and just have to go back to finish the lower ones. She works full time at the hospital and has a window cleaning business. I am grateful she fit the kids in as the sun is setting earlier now leaving them less time to get it all done.
Apparently the grad reunion on Friday night was enjoyed by all and I am seeing many pictures. There are a few people I would like to have seen but will have to hold out for the 45 or 50th.
Today had so many feels. At 11 am was the celebration of life for my son-in-laws father, Ryon, I was super conflicted as I felt the need to suppress and be there for Roger but I also felt the loss of a friend. Ryon was one of those people that I care for deeply over a shared sense of the world. We had many good laughs together in an offbeat way and that I will always cherish. The service suited him well, a happy dose of God and the absurd. Roger memorialized him well with a good dose of humour, even ending the eulogy with a song by the UK hit of Always Look on The Bright Side which Ryon would have loved. We were surrounded by family and it was good for the soul.
I took Mom to the insurance company to move her car insurance to here which garners her a good refund and applied online for her address change to her drivers licence before dropping her at home per her wishes.
The rest of the day was spent hanging with loved ones around the fire, having a good meal and I brought a bottle of Scotch for us to have a Dad toast together. There were so many good conversations and much love that I can’t even begin to express them but suffice to say, I was grateful to Ash for driving me home and Dee for following us and taking her back.
I did make time after dropping Mom off to go vote in our civic election. There is part of me that knows I was voting between one old white guy and another but hope my council votes will make a difference.
I am now signing off, just a little buzzed, just hoping you will always look on the Bright side of life!
I stopped at Hyundai again before work and was assured a cheque for my deductible will be dropped at Signal Collision. Hopefully soon after I will hear it i time to pick it up. The day was extremely full but I knocked off quite a few files. I came home to relax and work on the larva project. Rae-Anne sent me a picture she found in one of her mother-in-law, Judy’s scrapbooks. It was the review of a Fringe show I was in in 2000 that was written by my friend. Once we took it to Fringe I was graced with a lovely mention by the CBC reviewer. Good times, I have been blessed with many of them over the years on stage. I love that Judy kept the article all these years.
I had a good chat with Mom. She really likes where she is living, loves the food and even goes to the exercise classes and went out on her own to the bank and drug store today. This is a huge deal! And a relief that she isn’t upset I talked her into the move.
Work, lunch, work, train Natalia, work, make food, snack instead, watch shows, crochet. Nothing to see here, folks.
Oh, there was the parcel I had to pay over 29 dollars to pick up. I ordered items from Quip, which I have done for a few years now, and this time I had to pay the taxes and a handling fee. That’s the end of that. Sigh.
Today I ran payroll and union remittances and then skipped out of the office to see grandson Gene and bonus grandson Jonas play their first game in a rugby tournament at school. I am so glad I went! It was hard to find them on the field as I didn’t even know what uniforms they were in. Suddenly I realized the young man ring tackled in front of me, nearly making it over the line was Gene! They won 31-6 or some such. The games don’t last long but it was exciting and the conversations of the teen girls sitting behind me were entertaining. They reminded me of my passion for the sport (the guys in rugby shorts) when I was their age.
The afternoon was spent on one file for the most part as Natalia worked across from me. Her English is mightily improving and we have good moments together. She told me that her brother, his wife and kids had to flee their upper floor apartment into the forest in fear of the missiles. Her husband is a driver of a vehicle transporter and they don’t know if he will have a job when it is all over. She hopes he will come here as well.
I didn’t get home especially early but had a quick visit with Tracey before I settled on the couch to crochet.. but I didn’t, I played games and watched shows and just tuned out. I am missing my friend Jay’s celebration of life tonight in Vancouver. I found out in the last few days about two people I care about having Cancer and another who has lost a substantial part of her livelihood. Life is not feeling fair right now. No one promised it would be but I sure did like the hugs I got from Gene and from my friend who popped in to the office. It is good to be loved, and to love. Without risking loving, there is no pain in loss.
The morning was gorgeous and I even got on the treadmill again for the first time in a while. I have gotten to bed too late recently and need to adjust that going forward. My tree is quite stunning and inflatables make me smile. I didn’t even notice until I got in the car that there was ice on the windshield.
Unfortunately I managed to scratch my burn in my sleep and it really hurts today. Three days later, it should be healing, sigh. It is in an annoying spot for work and play. I don’t want to cover it up though.
I am ever so happy to have solved the music for Ryon’s memorial on Saturday. It was really causing stress to Roger and to me, wanting to take that burden from him. Seems he had already had several performers fall through and I am very grateful for Jamie’s suggestion to ask Madison Prinn. I called her Dad, my friend Dave, and in no time he got back to me that he would play for her as she has a bad shoulder and that she knows the old time hymns asked for. Such a day to be thankful as things are coming together.
Once I got to a good stopping point at work, I came home and made dinner. I didn’t feel like eating but packaged the portions up for lunches this week. I was happy to see the tractor that I put out for free did find a home and now I hope the table and chairs also go to a home that wants them.
I spent the evening watching The Voice and continuing on crocheting Emmy’s Larva to go with her Teen Titans costume. The main body is now done, tomorrow will be the feet, antenna, eyes, etc.
I heard from Signal Collision today that my car is all apart and they will likely need it another week. She said everyone in the place is drooling over my ride. This makes my heart happy and after driving this perfectly nice courtesy car, I can’t wait to have mine back. I have zero buyer’s remorse.
I did set an alarm so I could get things done. I did some chores and the headed to the office to run a payroll that takes more concentration than most. From there I met the family and friends at the Firehall Kitchen and Tap where they put on their annual free Thanksgiving dinner. It was so delicious and the coconut chocolate porter by Bomber Brewing left me sad their license doesn’t allow growlers. It was so good! Had fun kissing up the two youngest grandsons, lol. Roger was the Boss in the dish pit to assist on all our behalves for the great meal.
I went to Walmart to get materials to make the special part of Emmy’s Halloween costume. I haven’t crocheted in a while but I committed to it. Grabbed my Halloween candy while I was there. Next stop was back at the office where I took care of a file that the client stalled into my busy time so I wanted to get it off my plate. As I was leaving to come home, Steph pulled up and we had a great visit on the sidewalk. Once I got home I settled myself and started the Pink Larva for Emmy. got pretty far as i watched my shows and gathered energy for the week ahead.
I keep checking in with myself today as my rage and frustration is barely under the surface. I suspect it is just the take-away from all the turmoil in the last month. To be honest, I don’t think I am generally an angry person but the anger seems to come too easily these days. I talked myself down first thing this morning and then I went off on Jake and later on Lukas. Neither thing was undeserving but I was over the top, I picked up groceries and then Jake, Lukas and Emmy to help me winterize the yard. We put away everything, folded up the tent trailer and the leaves were raked and bagged. I dropped them off and raced home to make Red lobster biscuits, Caesar salad and cheesy cauliflower. I was done in time to take a quick shower and race to pick up Mom and bring her for dinner. It was delicious and there were 15 of us so a bit chaotic. I wish we still played games and enjoyed each other’s company more. Jake was here for the weekend and we barely had a full conversation. I invited Ashlée to a play with me and she says she probably doesn’t have the time off. Rae-Anne is mostly distracted by work. I love my family but can’t seem to find my place in it that isn’t peripheral. That is okay, I just need to accept and take the moments when they come. I think the anger is part of that becoming accustomed.
I do want to be happy but I am well rutted in my life and need to let go of the things, even in my stuff, that I need to get rid of.
I woke after 8 hours and started doing chores. The main one was to cook my last Hello Fresh from the prior week. It was a risotto and chicken which as I was taking it out of the oven managed to burn my arm. I ran it under cold water but it is pretty gnarly. The food smells good and there are now two full containers ready for lunches this week.
After showering and dressing, I dropped off Tracey’s hockey ticket for Ash as Jake is going to use mine and had a quick visit before heading to Mom’s. I took a quick pic of Sawyer’s school shot.
Once at Mom’s we went through some of her treasure boxes and jewelry box. There are now a couple of zip locks full of costume jewels for the thrift store, a few things sent home with me, small boxes for others as we went and her faves in the jewelry box on her dresser where she can enjoy them. I was thrilled that she gave me a few things including the heavy duty necklace I loved seeing back in the ‘70s.
We had a good laugh over the weird bottle of teeth and agreed to get it gone. The only one we kept (for now) was the one wrapped with the note, MB first tooth. It was also stunning to find she still has the cookie from when I was 15 wrapped in it’s recipe. Yes, that’s right a petrified cookie which came that way out of the oven. I had forgotten the butter. Sigh.
Among the other cute things were a Heinz pickle pin, a Woodward’s Santa button and a note from a birthday gift along the way. My fave was the tooth fairy note.
We joined a bunch of family at Mr. Mike’s for dinner to celebrate Barry and Jeanne’s 50th anniversary. It was also Donna and Hogie’s 48th last week so it was nice to sit with them for dinner. We had a delicious meal and good conversation. Danny picked up the tab which was a big surprise!
A bonus for the day was seeing myself 34 pounds down which is the lowest I have been since Sept 2015. Getting closer to my pre-Bella Bella weight which is where I am aiming for.
Up and at it, off to trade cars at Signal Collision and get my courtesy car, an RVR. It is so weird to have to use a key again and I admit to being very used to all the bells and whistles in my Tucson. I can’t wait to get my baby back. They said they will polish out the parking lot scratch in my passenger door while they are at it.
From there I stopped at the office to answer email before heading to pick up Jake at the airport. It was so great to see my son again, it has been far too long. We stopped to see his granny and he took out her garbage for her and we made a plan to see her soon. I forgot my phone and when I went back, Uncle Lawrence was there and he’d brought me maple syrup from Ontario!
Next stop was Arby’s where both his sisters were working. We had lunch and then I dropped him to meet Danika dropping off Emmy. She has grown so much even since she was here last. It was so sweet to see her excitement at seeing her Daddy. Danika brought me Emmy’s pre-school grad pic and I took a picture of it and put it on Mom’s fridge.
Back to the office to fulfill an afternoon of filing remittances and then it was home to change and get ready to go to the Bucks vs Warriors hockey game. Tracey and I picked up Jake and Emmy and off we went. The game was good and we won in OT which was pretty exciting.
The evening finished off with Tracey and I deciding we should try the Mushroom gummies that we had bought months ago. We tried half of one as that is the recommendation for newbies and watched Hocus Pocus. I had never seen it and now see why everyone liked it so much back in 1993. We decided we weren’t feeling anything so had some more gummy. We then watched HP2 which honestly didn’t live up to the first. It was entertaining though, no doubt. The gummies did start to kick in but really no different than THC ones. I am mellow and tired. It was nice to hang out and watch together.
Work, train Natalia, and more work. I was very sad for Natalia as a missile went over her parent’s house in the Ukraine and although they were not hurt, it is very scary. There was also horrible news from Thailand where 37 people were murdered by an ex-cop at a Daycare facility. Over 20 youngsters are gone. What is wrong with this world!! Both of the above scenarios sure put my little grumbles in perspective.
I was at Key City for the all candidates forum early and met a lovely lady, Kathy. We had very interesting conversations and I am impressed with her perspective on things. She has lived here for 16 years, from Alaska and just last March got her Canadian citizenship so this is her first vote in Canada. I am excited for her and impressed with her research. We sat together for the forum and pretty much had the same take away. Not much changed in my decision as to whom I will vote for but some interesting comments were made. I was unimpressed with our current Mayor who kept iterating that there should be housing for those who ‘truly deserve it’. EVERYONE deserves a safe space, full stop. The hot button topics were crime, addiction, and homelessness as well as what to do with the old campground and the deer problem.
They called today to ask me to bring my car in to get fixed and that they will have it for 2-3 weeks. I will make the swap to a courtesy car tomorrow morning before picking up Jake at the airport at 10:30
triumphgal 