06-02-26 Existential Crisis
I am watching The Great Flood. I need a real anxiety inducing crisis movie to push aside all the feels I picked up from Mom today.
I took Will to his dentist appointment and turned in all the expired medication’s from mom’s apartment to the Safeway pharmacy. After I dropped him at school, I went up to see Mom and make arrangements to see the transition nurse.
I was there for quite a while before Tanya came to see us. It was a tough visit. His mom was not responding a lot, and I didn’t want to respond for her to the important questions. When I asked how she was feeling, she just said up and down, and that I was more up and down. I finally let my shield down and felt her feelings and told Tanya that Mom was feeling fear and resolve. Tanya asked her if she wanted to go back home or felt she needed to go someplace where she could get more help and mom said she wanted to go someplace where she could get more help. At this point, I was overwhelmed by all the emotion that I have been protecting myself from and honestly, I’m still not back to myself.
We found out from Tanya that the hospital’s plan is to keep giving Mom therapy as she is on a short day list to be transferred when a space is available to the FW green home. That is where she got good Physio the first time this happened which I think was early 2022. Then they want her to go back to her home with some more home support and at that point, she will be evaluated to be put on a list for long-term care or they will continue to give her support as palliative care at home depending how quickly the cancer spreads. I am glad that we have started clearing her place out, but left the things that she needs on the daily. I will need to get her bed out of there as it is too high for her to get in and out of now. We finish the application for the palliative care, benefits, one plus side of the terminal cancer diagnosis is that there is a fund that will take care of any equipment, a hospital bed, special meds, etc.
Tanya did ask her if she wanted to spend her final days of her journey at home or in the hospital which I thought was a bit too soon to ask as we won’t even know where she will be by that point.
Yeah, so that was my day around the little bit of work I was able to fit in and the calls dealing with Strata things. I’m a little bit done. I’m going to watch this movie and enjoy an enhanced beverage and try to get a good deep sleep.
One day at a time, one day at a time
triumphgal 