triumphgal

My Facebook belies the fact that I am not the good old fashioned, worship her grandkids kind of Nana. once upon a time a conversation occurred where extended family were bemoaning the fact I had never had a ‘regular’ grandmother. It’s very true, I adored all three of my grandmas but they were each unusual in their own ways. From each I learned very different things. Terry, my step-mother’s step- mother and I were very close through my teens and early adulthood especially. She taught me to draw, to cook gnocchi, to craft and appreciate shiny things but after my grandad died we lost touch. My Grandma Kuz, my birth mother’s mother was the polar opposite. She was a God-fearing woman who had suffered much loss, lived very simply and was hyper critical of me in a way I believe she thought was love and constructive. Then there was my Nana. Juanita was a powerhouse personality. A bright light in our worlds. Bright red lipstick, dangling earrings, a beehive, and a wardrobe similar to Queen Elizabeth, including matching bag and pumps. She fiercely loved us. She raised me for the two years after my mom died. She was my world, most of my childhood memories revolve around her and my Grandad. I want to love my grands the way she loved me and I do but I’m not always convinced they feel it the way I did. I think of her especially when I see gladiolas and sweet peas, her go to centerpieces always held in pinwheel crystal.

Emmy spent the better part of 24 hours with me and I worked hard to not be distracted, to play with her and not say No. we had fun. She really is an intelligent, observant child. At one point she was cuddled up beside me on the couch, raised my arm to look at my pit and said ‘you are a very good shaver, Nana.’ She was concerned that I don’t have a married ring. She thanked me for our big adventure when I dropped her off. In the night when she awoke thirsty I brought her into bed with me and she settled herself right up close, at first complaining she didn’t have a pillow but she was so centered she was between them. This left me chuckling when in the morning she mentioned I was on her side, even though she was still dead centre.

We made a wee video to send to Zoë for her 8th birthday. Wish I could have celebrated with her but lucky dogs, the Campbell’s were celebrating on Vancouver Island!

We played outside before the sun got too hot and she enjoyed being pushed around in the tractor, nearly big enough to peddle it. She and Chewbacca put on a circus for me in the tent trailer. She entertained me while I weeded and then we painted her finger and toe nails Nana Red. After that we went to the car wash and sent a video to a Jake as he and I always went through the car wash together with the tines cranked. He sent a video message back and we enjoyed hearing it through my car speakers. It was the biggest waste of $16, could barely tell we went through. Feel like the dirt just got sealed on. A DQ picnic And play time and then it was time to drop her off. I enjoyed this visit so much more than last time when she was willfully disobedient.

I really managed to get a lot of yard work done this long weekend even with all the time the pool scrubbing took up. I will have to arrange to get my yard waste to the transfer station at some point. It felt good to be outside! I colored my hair and relaxed for the evening watching Dead To Me on Netflix. Stellar cast. Interesting premise. Good entertainment.

My entire day was based on how I could get as much done as possible and avoid the heat. I was up relatively early and out with a bucket of soapy water on my knees scrubbing the algae away in the pool. I tried out a tool I bought last year and it was perfect for the job!

I came inside to cool down for a bit and the went out and pruned my lilac until I couldn’t take it any more. next was filling all the inflatables and checking for leaks. Didn’t find the leak in the unicorn before I was getting headachy so I came in to sit in front of fan, eat and drink water. Sanjay and Candice came over to borrow my router to fix their cupboard doors. I love being the girl with the tools. Does it make me misogynistic to think it is unusual for a chick to have a router?

I got my outside chores done and Emmy arrived just after 5 . She had to get in the pool right away. It had filled to the perfect height for her not to need her water wings. She really is a joy to be around and I love 5hat her first question was whether her cousin Sawyer was coming too. He is out at the lake or he would be here too. She says his name in a way that sounds like Sewer lol

She had so much fun in the pool and then playing in ‘Nana’s Park’, the slide and swings in our strata common area. This was followed by a shower and a picnic style dinner which she loved.

She is such an intuitive child and at such a young age we are able to have interesting conversations.

I very much miss The Campbell’s but know they will be back soon and they really needed to get away. I watched the limited series Waco today. between chores and it really gives a different perspective of what went down! No matter what version of events, 25 children were lost. Terribly sad.

I tried to get as much done as possible before it got too hot. by that I mean, aside from dishes and laundry I decided to trim my Willow and Maple and mow the lawn. By the time I was finished cleaning up inside and out, I was beat from the heat and couldn’t bring myself to clean the pool. The Hollyhocks are blooming. So many treats this time of year.

I decided to head out to do some errands. First stop was to renew car insurance. I wasn’t going to as I have my bike insured but it is too hot to ride!! I was shocked to find out my insurance went up $70 per month. Seems the new way of calculating goes back three years for claims and carries forward 10 years. I had a claim on my truck in 2017 from being run off the road and in 2019 from parking lot damage. Apparently it doesn’t matter that I was not at fault. The staff at Western Financial were fabulous. Not their fault but they sure tried to get me answers.

Next stop was Home Depot to check out shelving for the community theatre tech room. I also grabbed new plumbing bits for under my kitchen sink as it has had a clogged right side since I bought the place. Also got a laundry basket for taking clothes outside to the line, a lounge cushion and a set of flamingo dishes, both on deep discount. Saw an amusing product while I was there

Decided to take a drive to Marysville to drop off Tupperware to my cousin Donna and dropped in on a client. Marysville hot Tubs is a lovely little place with a charming lady named Lillie To assist you. She sold me a product to control the algae in my pool going forward. I would like to forward one of the barbeques that they sell but I shall just keep dreaming for now. On my way back I saw a guy with the homeless and broke sign near all the fast food places on the strip so I pulled into the lineup at Dairy Queen or in my seven dollar meal complete with a bottle of water and a dilly bar and handed it off much to his joy. I then stopped at Family Thai, my favourite restaurant in town to you have curbside delivery of my favourite meal. A stop for gas and groceries and I barely made it home in time for putting everything away and grabbing a quick shower before my company arrived.

Viola and Kimberly came over for the evening and we sat out around my table in a breeze enjoying snacks and beverages and good company. These ladies are both a gift of the theatre world here. I have not acted with Viola but we have watched each other do so and Kimberly played my daughter in the tin woman she’s also the one who gave me my tattoo. Pretty soon it was dark and their rides were arriving so we made plans for celebrating Viola‘s birthday in two weeks. I really do look forward to it even though they are both my daughters ages or younger their company pleases me. It was glorious to sit and watch the sky light up from lightning in the distance. the good thing is it appeared to be sheet lightning not fork so I’m hopeful that no fire started.

earlier in the day I prepped sangria using frozen peaches in my cold brew carafe with equal parts Campbell’s homemade wine and soda stream carbonated water in the fridge, delicious

I have also found a use for all my little fancy packages of hot chocolate that I never drink I put them all into one Tupperware shaker and they go great over popcorn

It’s not a day I genuinely look forward to. It is the anniversary of my Mom and sisters drowning when I was only 3 months old. I found out last night it is also the anniversary of Sean and Diane’s wedding and this pleases me. It is a positive reason to enjoy the day. Sadly her very close friend lost his battle with Cancer during the night. The sadness and loss hung like pigpen’s cloud over the day, I guess my salvation was having too much work. I had no choice but to buckle down and focus. Through no fault of my own I had more work than hours In the day and all with a deadline of today, while I was hard at it there was a perfect addition to my office!

I also managed to rescue my picture that I dropped behind my desk while trying to decide where to hang it. It really rings true. I found myself feeling ill under the stress of things I thought I’d left behind. I am constantly setting boundaries right now, I am coming late to that game. I am the person who defaults to yes and I find myself the opposite as I reconfigure.

By the end of my day which was 10:15 I was shocked to feel how hot it was outside still. My car read 29 degrees. I headed to the Campbells for a quick visit as they leave in the morning for Vancouver Island. I so wish they had room to take me so I could visit my posse there but they sadly do not. I shall miss them deeply. I do have much to keep me busy though. I wish them safe travels and a quick return to the fold.

I want to say I am counting my blessings that I have been offered so many basements to sleep in. I am grateful for my thoughtful circle and also feel blessed that those friends would welcome me to their homes. Love xo

July is usually a very busy month for me. It is heavy with June yearend files, GST filings, WCB reports and usually MusicFest. In its stead this year I set up my own office, took on new and previous clients and adjusted to the new norm. It was all going pretty smoothly but I ran into a wall when two clients didn’t get their info to me until late today with tomorrow’s deadline looming. The upside is I adore both of them so find it hard to hold annoyance, downside is I have a lot to accomplish in a crazy short time tomorrow. In a perfect world I would have filed them today so they make their payments for tomorrow. I am working very hard to relax into a state of mind that says I will not care more about your company than you do. It is hard though. That is what makes me good at what I do. I do care and will go out of my way to never miss a deadline.

I am so happy to have made the changes I have. I can’t even imagine working from home in this heat wave. It was like walking into a wall when I opened my door. My sweet peas finally popped ! They are April’s flower, the month I was born, and remind me of my Nana. She always had sweet peas and gladiolas.

I have had a very good day. I moved mountains of work from the to do to the done pile, got treated to take out lunch brought to me and a nice visit with a previous coworker and current friend, Varghese. I worked up to the time to leave and meet my son-in-law Ken for wing night at Rockwater restaurant. He arrived on his bicycle to find me holding down a spot on the deck where the sun and the breeze were lovely. Much to my shock, the woman at the table over from us started smoking. It seems they allow it and provide ashtrays. It has been forever since I’ve seen smoking allowed like that. It was really quite off putting. Now I know and I have other choices. I suppose it is a niche clientele.

The wings were delicious and I was ‘allowed’ to bring the rest of mine home for lunch tomorrow. Ken and I had a great visit. We haven’t had nor made time to do so. Ashlée joined us once she was done work delivering for a pizza place.

It got hot as the sun swung round but at least there is usually a breeze in Cranbrook. I came home to attempt to clean and refill my pool but I got as far as digging the spot a little more level and getting the pool mostly in the right spot. I shall have to wipe it down tomorrow as I ran out of steam. It is still hot in here but I am about to go settle in for the night under my ‘Binford 3000’

Tomorrow has about three days of work in it… may see you all Friday!

Oh, after I posted last night I got this notice which is pretty cool.

11.5 billable hours today on 6 clients.

Uploaded my tattoo video into Life in a Day 2020

Had 2 more slivers removed.

Have had incredible service from Service BC and CRA in the past two days

Lost at crib

Watered indoor and outdoor plants

Fed George

Texted with friends

Approved new company logo for signage

23andMe states that I have reason for not carrying a tune

11:47 pm. 30 degrees indoors. Binford 3000 over the bed for the win

Let’s do this all again tomorrow.

Awoke to swollen spots on my hands from many slivers off the pressure treated post I was using for leverage yesterday. I stopped by my daughters but she was showering for work so I arrived at the Groundfloor and asked the manager, a Mom of 4 if she could help. 7 or 8 pulled and they were all out. Great full service there!

I stopped by my daughters both this morning and after work. It is so good to get Grandkid hugs again! I miss Emmy a lot I was used to seeing her once a week but her mom is being very considerate of my health because her boyfriend works with a lot of different people and she doesn’t want to bring his bubble into mine but that just extends it further and I look forward to the time when we are also in the same bubble and I can hug and snuggle Emmy again.

It was going to be so hot today that I brought my red wine bottles to the office so they would be in a more neutral temp. They may have been calling me. I was given a little Grandma style stool for a footrest under my desk but it really wasn’t very comfortable until today when I took two of the legs off. Now I’m styling.

It was hot when I got home from dinner and crib night but I have a crazy good fan over my bed and for most of the night sleep under my duvet. Security trumps heat.

Up and at the chores, had been way too long since I’d even done my dishes. Diane was a huge blessing, coming to help me roll the nearly empty pool over and take all my recycling away. Off we went to Home Depot to pick up another section of fence and the missing screws from one I already had. We are also on the search for a mirror for her office wall so she can see the mountains from her desk. It used to be my office and I always thought that would be a plus. I got back just in time to have a shower and remove the dressing from my tattoo, and have a bite to eat before Roger arrived to bring me out to the Perreault Family property out on Moyie Lake. I had only gone years ago across a scary old bridge and once since by boat so I was quite surprised and thrilled at the ride out. It is very much a slash trail through the forest and was so beautiful but it was also shocking to see how close the fire had gotten to their property.

The first thing that had to happen was the boys showing me how they can run the backhoe. Gene, 13 and Will , 8 set right to showing me their skills and then Gene taught his Dad how to use it. Right proud of them!!

We had some food off the bbq and all headed down to the shore. I was disappointed not to be able to swim due to the fresh tattoo but it was perfect temperature and it seemed we would settle in with our beer and books. There quickly became a new adventure as it was time to get the dock off the beach. When the water was higher it had managed to settle too far up to even push it with the tractor. Many methods were used to get it closer to the water and then a combo of the quads pulling it back and forth and Roger and I on the pushing end, pyramid style finally launched it. We were all exhausted by then but it was very satisfying.

Took a lot to get them all packed up and I was invited by Sawyer to join him and Lukas in the back of the truck for the drive back out to civilization. Gene and Will were going ahead on bikes with the dog, Obie. It was fun and bumpy and I got them to wolf howl. The riders made it a long way ahead of us and we only had to cart Will for a short bit at the end of a big climb. I was filming when I heard loud crying and we came upon Will who had lost control and crashed. He had a bleeding elbow and a scrape on his belly but nothing broken. Just another adventure!

Eventually we met up with Gene and Obie, all of us settled into seatbelts in the trucks and headed in to town.
All and all a most excellent adventure!

I got home and a short time later received a message from a friend who it seems had just moved at the end of June, into the apartment I moved out of in August 2018. She had received a cheque for me from a job I did. Sure love small cities! Booted over to pick it up and then came home to relax and watch some 90 Day Fiancé before heading to bed.

I woke up this morning thinking about my boy. He turns 26 today and I love all my children completely but Jake was my absolute choice. I did not choose to have him in the first place but I definitely chose to keep him. Not everyone has a story like Jake and I but all of it leads to gratitude I will not choose to change a moment of it if that would mean not having him in my life. I was in the middle of my tattoo when he called about a watch that we were ordering for me and I was able to have a great conversation with him and find out that I would get to see him next month when he comes to stay with his daughter. I look forward to that very much. They will stay with me which makes it even more special.

Which brings me to my tattoo. I was very excited to be able to share what I hoped for and have quick design revisions to end up with my Vancouver Island MusicFest tribute tattoo on my right leg just above the ankle bone. When I am at music fest I have a great deal of pink. I try to have everything is hot pink as I can so people can find me easily and my cart is decorated with that so no one will drive off in it. so, of course, that will include pink flamingos over the years, thus, that’s my choice for my tribute tattoo. it happens that last year was my 11th year at music fest, this is the missing year, but it is also my 11th tattoo. I chose to get it done by Kimberly Frixel who played my daughter in the tin woman as that’s when we became friends and since then she has opened her own business, The Tattooed Unicorn. we sat and chatted, she made some drawings, I adjust them and then suddenly I knew it was exactly what I wanted and today I went and spent 2 1/2 hours under her gun. She is new and takes longer but is also a little obsessive so I don’t have to worry as I think she is her own biggest critic and pays extraordinary attention to every little detail. I was very happy with the result.

Afterward I decided to treat myself to fish and chips as I had a gift card to the hideout. As I was pulling up to park, I had a phone call from my mom, who told me that uncle Toni is being transferred and treated and it may not be the end after all. I’m so confused, my emotions don’t even know how to handle it, so I told her just to let me know one way or the other if something should change. Don’t get me wrong I am grateful that he is not dead it’s just that yesterday I thought he was so I have already processed his passing and now it seems he has not. It’s weird, trust me. The fish and chips were almost as good as the Belgian Wit.

I continued working on getting the pool empty which is green and gross and then putting together the sections of my fence although there were screws missing and I will deal with that tomorrow. Next I came in and got my sewing machine working properly and fixed Diane‘s mask and mine and took off to deliver it to her which of course led to drinking wine and playing crib and enjoying many laughs. there is talk of Ireland in 2023 for some landmark birthdays!

In a mad, mad world, I often wonder why I am where I am. I believe truly that the reason for every movement in my life will come clear eventually.. ok, maybe not some of those late night bar choices, although sometimes I wonder if they remember me fondly..

My day started overwhelmed as the first time I saw a person I started silently weeping or as I call it, leaking. It seems my feelings about my uncle Toni did not completely hit last night. It was human connection this morning that kicked in my grief. This was exacerbated by the fact that there was talk of taking him off life support today. It occured to me that I couldn’t remember the last time I heard him laugh or say my name. I want those memories.

I pushed it all aside and concentrated on work, taking time out to design my sign for the front of the building (exciting!), go to the Theatre to sell some lights, stop at the old firm to drop off a client cheque and listen to someone I don’t know complain about their boyfriend.

My eye was on the prize.. early in the day Diane texted that she booked us pedicures together at one of the higher end spas in town. I couldn’t wait. When I stopped at the office she made me a latté and gave me a hug, both of which I needed. We had talked about having our first pamper session together and I was so happy when she made it so. She would also appreciate what I was working on, that always makes me smile

After work I raced to pick her up and head there. We entered masked up and all the staff was as well. Honestly, I can’t say it was the best pedicure I have ever had but it was satisfying in that I hadn’t had one in so long.

And then there is Diane, a true gift in my life. Funny thing was I knew that when I met her but she didn’t. She had been off for extended periods while I worked at the firm and I was always so disappointed not to stay connected but this year that all changed. Whatever made the difference, I am so crazy grateful. She really is like a sister. They have welcomed me into their family and for the most part I have managed to fight the feeling that I am wearing out my welcome. It is a fault I have, not sure where it’s root lives or I would use Round-Up. I always feel that people are going to get tired of me because they are just being polite inviting me and I say yes. It should be called Imposter Friend Syndrome. IFS is real! I enjoy being a part of their life and worry they will weary of me. Then I pull back and kill the friendship. Fucking patterns are to be broken. I am going to trust that if I am invited, I am welcome. Pretty much going ot assume that I am welcome when her husband orders pizza while we are at the salon and makes sure one doesn’t have peppers which I am allergic to. His assumption that I would come home with her was good. Even if the pizza choices were a happy accident I am going to take it as a win.

I got home and decided to fix the elastic on both Diane and my masks. Hers was just elastic bands and hurt her ears, mine, the elastics are too short. I had gotten a new sewing machine some time ago but not used it yet so I threaded a bobbin, set it all up and tried to make it work but I seem to not have the bobbin threaded in the machine properly and I was getting frustrated as it is still 25 degrees in here so I gave up for tonight. It is supposed to be cooler this weekend and I am planning to set up my tent trailer bed which will be cooler to sleep in as well.

No word tonight, last thing I knew was they were planning to take Uncle T off the machines. I hate dreading my phone ringing. I am sad for my brother, who is close with him, that he is the one to let us know.

It was a pretty great day! Got files finished, onsite training for 5.5 hours in masks and survived just fine, returned to go shopping for Motorcycle gear for a retiring Board Member with one of my clients, celebrated a son-in-law for his birthday with delicious ice cream cake from a local small business, had good laughs with our family of 11 (missing Emmy & Jake), came home to water the plants and try to cool the house before Gene (13 year old future astronaut grandson) and I went seeking the perfect dark place to hopefully spot comet Neowise.. and we did, even with my glasses off I could see it! Looked amazing through Rogers good binoculars. Couldn’t capture a picture but tried and enjoyed the time in the middle of the night with my Gene. Now it is tomorrow and we are tired and happy.

I want to write a long and very interesting blog tonight but really I’ve just had a day of work and play and heat. It is 10:58 PM and 27°C in my home because I was enjoying myself too much trying to plan a vacation in August with my bubble extended family and didn’t come home to cool the place down. I want to stay up late enough to see the comet that is streaking across our sky but I don’t know if I can do that either because I’m tired. Mondays always come with a lot in bookkeeping world because people do things or think about them over the weekend and then present them to you in a way that is urgent on Mondays. Slowly over time I am notifying my clients at my past firm I that I no longer work there and I’m contracting for them and that I’ve chosen to keep them and the response is amazing. There is a world of support and cheers to stepping out on my own again. Some of my previous coworkers have been equally supportive and informative and gracious and kind the way everyone should be. I am still there to support their team and assist where I can but I also must be honest when I can’t because my word means everything to me and I try hard not to over commit myself. I know that I will do that no matter what. My dad crashed his plane while my partner and I were in the middle of building a deck as a surprise for a man’s wife at their vacation trailer. I became obsessed with finishing the deck for her even though laying under it every whirrrr of the drill felt like I was building my own coffin. That deck was built with tears and love and I hope that they have many happy memories on it. But my whole point is that once I commit to some thing it is very important me to finish it. If I quit something I can promise you there was a straw that broke the camels’s back. It did not come easily.

Before I went to bed I posted a picture of the lights at the Theatre on my Facebook wondering if anyone was interested. Three friends shared it and I awoke to interest from a person in Kamloops as well as further inquiry later in the day. I got permission from the Board to make deals as I see fit and sparred back and forth. Seems most people are seeking free gear for the take-a-way. I understand the plight of small arts groups and it may come down to that in the end but for now I will continue to try to sell them at a reasonable price to bring in some funds for our small group.

I joined my friends for pancake breakfast complete with Mimosas and it was delish! Next I was off to Home Hardware to see if the fencing on clearance was still available. There wasn’t much left but I picked up all the supplies I needed (I hope) for only $321 which is a good deal indeed. I managed to fit it all in my car even to bring it home. As the project progresses there will be more pictures.

On the way to Home Depot I saw the newest art installation in town. I didn’t capture it from the best angle, nor does the picture show the way it gleams in the sun but it is quite the detailed work.

After mowing the lawn in the heat and unpacking the car it was time for a bit of lunch and a break so I started watching Horrible Bosses. I am pretty sure this would have been most men’s favourite Jennifer Aniston movie but honestly with a cast like it had I was sadly disappointed. And oh no I just saw that there is a Sequel.. I shall be skipping that.

Headed over for dinner and many games of crib, few of which Shea and I won tonight. It’s funny with cards, often it is an on or off for one team or the other. When I got home I watered my garden and noted Tomatoes growing!! Simple pleasures are wee harvests and I have been enjoying my strawberries and now am looking forward to cherry tomatoes.

I decided I should bring the day trundle bed in that Danika had given me and put it together which turned out to be a challenge single handed and on top of it the thermometer reads 28 Celcius in my house. I was exhausted and boiling when I was done so settled on the couch with cold water to research the cost of an exterior door with a sliding window with screen. May have to order one in to get airflow as it is much cooler outside at the moment. Looks like the door only will be $315 and will take up to 8 weeks but at least I will be ready for next year.

When it was time to shut it down and come blog I couldn’t find my iPhone. My iPad was in the middle of an update so I swung for the fence and said, “Hey Google I wish you could find my iphone” there was a pause and then it said, “would you like me to call your phone ending in 9432?” I said yes and finally found it down between items in the room where I had been putting the bed together! I love my automation! Didn’t even know that could happen.

I have been thinking the last two days about legacies for some reason. I wish there was a way to preserve a digital life like a time capsule. I wouldn’t want this blog to disappear just because I wasn’t paying for it anymore. It is a slice of life during these changing times. It preserves thoughts and feelings for my future generations. Maybe no one will really care but maybe they will. The idea has floated around in my brain for a while also that once someone dies there should be an automatic conversion of their Facebook, Instagram etc to In Memorium pages. How wonderful for people to have the photos and videos and memories for ever. It would make sure the presence was kept but delete reminders of birthdays etc. Just a thought..

I got 11.5 hours sleep last night and still am tired! Really needed to catch up apparently. By the time I was up and about fully it was time to get ready to go meet Travis Bondy who was going to assist me cataloguing and cleaning up the Tech room at the Community Theatre. We got a new lighting system and teh old one had been unceremoniously relegated to the back room. The space was not longer functional as a Tech/Tool room so something had to be done. Travis is interested in purchasing some lights for the studio/sound stage they are creating for filming. It was a perfect oppotunity to get the guy who has worked in the booth in the past to help sort what was there.

We spent 2 hours and 40 minutes and have an inventory of what works and what doesn’t. He was such fun to do it with as we chatted and got it done efficiently and systematically. There was mych to recycle when we were done. It is such a challenge to know what can be repurposed. I did bring home an old Apple II computer to see if I can get it working. There may be a market out there! It was good we were both wearing masks as it protected us from the dust as well as each other.

I had plans for other errands but the first one landed me at my friend Maureen’s and after red wine and home made pizza, I finally got home at 9 pm. What a lovely visit. It is so nice to cautiously expand the bubble to the people you enjoy the most. I came home with elastic to make myself some masks out of my old concert shirts and a varigated spider plant.

Checked in with the Campbells, weird not to see Diane for two days in a row. Got invited for buttermilk pancakes in the morning, better get to bed so that comes soon!

Hit me up if you need any theatre lighting, have an an abundance, including a board!

Today started off lovely. It is Fabulous Friday in my Comox Valley Facebook land. I decided it was heels and a dress day. I feel that if I keep wearing them I will always be able to keep wearing them so it was a good day to do so. Got right to work where the lovely Cindy had brought the round of Starbucks this week including a Chai Latte for me. I realized that I like them but mornings are still made right by coffee.

I had a few email that left me very emotional. A back and forth one made me angry which turns me to disappointment either in them or myself which always makes me cry. It’s a horrible phenomenon to have, especially in a work environment. I have this looming past work experience which I feel leaves me to defend my honour regularly and then this new existance that has brought much praise and support from long and short term clients. I hope the transition time will pass quickly so I can stop feeling so sad.

The crew at CFEK met for a beverage after work and I was invited along. It was nice to visit and defrag. They are a fun bunch.

I came home and had the last of the bottle of red I used for my demo last night and then saw a post on Facebook I misinterpreted and apparently all the pent up crap from the week came out in a two sentence text to my eldest. You always hurt the ones you love most, right?

I calmed myself and reread the situation but can only hope she accepts, sooner than later my apology. There were feelings that were true. I miss them and feel apart. We are family and I need them more but it isn’t all her fault. We will talk. I will make it right. And I also realize that I have to deal with some other things so I don’t do that again.

I finished placing the Tupperware order for last night’s party and am thrilled to have leveled up to get the free item I really wanted, the grater system. I ordered it right away.

I think I should go to bed and awake with a fresh perspective.

I awoke so far ahead of my alarm that I made a coffee and settle on the couch with a book I am trying to read but don’t seem to make the time for. I love reading and I forget that for months and years even before I remember, in my bones, my love of words and travelling through time and space via a good book. I am currently newly into The Book of Joy with His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. It is a very appropriate read in these trying times and even in my own life story rewrite happening. I need to settle into the love of a book again. Turn off my brain and numbers for a bit. I may bring it to work to take breaks on occasion sitting in the sun.

I will be very glad when my client’s audit is over. It is hard to take on a file after there have been so many issues the previous bookkeeper is gone. I am stressed to find and to figure out how to fix the issues. I took a break midafternoon to go get a Blizzard at Dairy Queen. $6.30 for a medium! I had no idea they were so expensive. It shall be a treat not a solace going forward. At the end of the workday for the ‘Others’ down the hall there was a recenlty bottled sangria shared round which was a lovely break before getting on with more subsidies. I loathe this side of the Covid-19 disfunction. The government supplies money and we have to figure out how much our clients are entitled to while running the risk of differences found in review. It is new to all of us and I can only show my work and hope for the best. I second guess my self constantly. It was always a problem for me, even in school as I see the result and can’t always clearly show each step to get there. Now I need to as it may be some time before the audits/reviews begin from the government but they will come and I will have documented all I did. Even if I was wrong I will be able to show my work and that there was no intention to get more than their share.

I came home around 6 and there were boxes on my porch of Jake’s baby things that he had left at his sisters when he moved away. I had to put them up in the top of my closet for now. I still miss him being here and am not willing to get emotional at the moment.

I messaged the woman who bought my bed frame, which was Jake’s from when we lived on Salt Spring Island. My friend Russ turned a few bits into a lovely captains bed for my son that has served many family members well over the last decade and a half. He died a while back, I am glad it has gone to a friend. They picked it up and within 10 minutes a huge storm blew in and out again. I suppose I will get used to this eventually. Or maybe not..

Got ready just in time for my Zoom tupperware party for the Building Manager at the GroundFloor. There were only 4 of us but it was enjoyable and I hope she gets enough orders to get some free stuff!

I want to stay up long enough to see the comet that is supposed to be amazing right now but I would have to go for a drive or wait until I am sure I can’t see it from here. I can see Big Dipper and Cassiopeia but no comets. I suppose it could be behind the trees a few yards over but I had some wine and am not going to go driving now. My friends have taken some great pics and if I had an awesome camera, I may be more inclined. So now.. to bed.