triumphgal

Day 1 Sunday March 22 2020

It wasn’t really a full day but it was the day I awoke knowing it was ‘the day’. I have been experiencing terrible breathing issues since October. I don’t think this is coincidental to the fact that I took an amazing vacation to the UK in September and have been working more than ever since my return to try to keep ahead of my workload. I am a bookkeeper for a small but busy accounting firm. I love what I do but I do it too well so am the go to person. I was eventually put off work by my Dr to stay home for 6 days and take anti-anxiety meds…. low and behold my health returned, I could breathe! The good thing about the timing of all this is that I have had chest x-rays, etc and know I do not have the Corona Virus. What I do have is an overwhelming feeling that I am used up. I struggle to maintain pleasant relationships and am terrified I will make a mistake or let someone down. Not being at work was causing more anxiety, now the rock was bigger and rolling fast and the hard place was too near. Many stressors and losses have occurred since my return to Cranbrook and I desperately needed something to change so I guess my body said… ENOUGH! I awoke this weekend with a sudden and firm resolution to not go back. Thankfully my boss allowed me to work from home because the stress of letting her and ‘my’ clients down may have killed me. I went in this day to enforce social distancing and gather files and equipment to carry on. Oh, and my plants… all of which I brought home and left sitting for the day. That was all I could handle. The couch, a couple of movies and a lot of time on the treadmill watching “the Crown” and I was finally able to let go and sleep.

Day 2 03-23-20

I was up and setting up my office at the regular ‘be at my desk’ time so I could keep a routine and be available and be sure it would all work. The day did not go without it’s glitches but overall was very productive and satisfying. My two bosses were in an appropriate amount of contact and assisted me when I needed as I did them. I felt calm and took time to check out my Facebook, kept some social contact in the distancing and spoke to my George on occasion (he’s a beautiful Beta). When I realized my stomach was growling I stopped and ate (my grandson’s pizza pockets, lol), when I needed a stretch I got up and did a quick chore. The fluidity of the day was good for my soul. I let the national announcements fill my morning but then my brain needed music and my tank began to fill again. As I worked I could hear the joyful sounds of the kids next door playing outside and the only unnerving moments were when not once but twice the radio went Dead Air. Being a bit of an Annie Wilkes, my psyche instantly runs with a full blown pandemic plot line… Now as I sit here in the slowly disappearing rays of sun coming in over my shoulder I plan an evening of good food, good company (George and the Stickmen) and whatever I damn well please. Anything is possible as long as one has room to breathe.

Well, I am not entirely without stress apparently as I managed to completely ruin my growing out Gel nails. While watching depressing TV I clipped and then peeled them off which I KNOW is a no no. I even have the supplies to deal with them appropriately. Le sigh. At least they will grow out beautiful before anyone sees them!

Day 3 03-24-20

I awoke far before my alarm, spreadsheets and numbers running through my head so up I got, heading immediately to ‘the Gym’.

An episode of The Crown later and I had a good start on my day’s steps, was showered and suited up for the day. (really need to clean my mirror!) And down 2.5 lbs this week (I weigh on Tuesdays so we shall see if the trend continues) mostly thanks to the Fitbit competitions with my friends from here, there and everywhere! Apparently I am not eating and drinking the evenings away.

Stopped for a coffee on my way to the office. Service was terrible, didn’t tip.

Managed to avoid the bad weather at least.

And there I was, fighting the good fight, running payrolls, processing ROEs and trying to pretend like all was normal, that all these people were going to be financially and physically okay. When I finally got to do some good old bookkeeping it was a relief. There’s very little emotion involved in straight up numbers.

I had a client and a family member drop off paperwork on the porch, took good precautions and back into my metal cocoon I went. Near the end of my day my daughter asked if she could stop by and take a stoop picture. It was fun to do a photo shoot given what I had chosen to wear today, lol. Have some prawns thawing and some cucumbers, tomatoes and an avocado that will all toss up great with some goat cheese bits for dinner. Enjoying a lovely G&T and looking forward to a relax away from small screens tonight… well that’s my intention, watch a movie and finish crocheting the fire truck I started for my youngest Grandson. Photos to follow when it’s finished! And hopefully from Ashlée as well.

Last 2 photos thanks to Ashlée Dawn Photography

Day 4 03-25-20

Wednesday, blah. Space Llama jammies were the uniform of the day. Work was work. Got it done with little enthusiasm albeit much attention. I had long ago scheduled a follow up Drs appt for today but last week was called to see if I would mind a phone appt. Of course I wouldn’t mind! My Dr called and spent a perfect amount of time cheerily assessing the status of my anxiety, making recommendations and promising to send my prescription refill to the Safeway Pharmacy. She suggested I would likely want to check in the morning to allow them time but it wasn’t long before I got a call from them to come around 5 to pick up. What a lovely combination of great service and humanity at its most caring. Once I’d finished work I got more or less dressed for the public and headed out. I know it’s only been a short time but it felt eerie and sneaky being out at all. Hand sanitizer and washable reusable bag in hand I moved through the store, only touching what I took, leaving appropriate distances, filling my basket with seafood and popsicles. That’s all I really ‘needed’. I used the self checkout for less contact and of course someone had to assist. She firmly told me to put the item down and step away and then apologized. I told her there was no reason to be sorry and thanked her for setting our boundary. She said people get mad at her. What a sad world. I returned to the car to get a message from the place I play league pool at. I leave a mug there for tea and they suggested I come get it as they will be out of business in full at months end. This is a family run for family games hall and it breaks my heart to see them fold. When a business runs payday to payday it doesn’t take much. Their service to the community will be missed.

Upon return home I sanitized everything I bought and then for the second time this week, did my dishes! Oh I know, eye rolls all round but seriously I live alone and usually eat one meal a day here on average. So Saturday morning is usually dish day. Now however, three meals a day at home and I see the sink from my workspace! Having come from the grocery store it felt right to have my hands in water that long anyway.

There have been all sorts of groups popping up on Facebook and I partook in one today, hanging my heart from the play I was in for all to spot in the front window. Decided a string of flashy lights would perk things up as well, and then the sun shone in.

I finished my dinner and decided I needed to FaceTime my friend Jackie for the first time. She is in the German Canadian Care Home that i was hearing about on the list of Covid 19 places. We had a wonderful laugh and ‘chat’ together. Her brain aneurysm has left us with a new norm but she laughed and kissed the screen when she saw who it was.

All in all I do feel a bit of a rollercoaster going on inside me but am determined to keep doing this. It’s good for me to be transparent and maybe just maybe you are a little bit entertained as well.

Day 5 03-26-2020

Today was actually very enjoyable as I am am working on files from 2011. Remember BC, when we had that glorious period of HST? Gracious, bookkeeping was so much easier then but good old Bill Vander Zalm had to go and mess it up and bring back GST/PST. I know, boring for those of you who think I am speaking an ancient language of some kind but seriously, VAT is so much easier for everyone to deal with. Ok, hopping off the soap box and reigning in my clear disdain for the man who also brought us the property transfer tax, the gift that just keeps taking….

I am feeling a little less like working and more like I want to catch up on the wonderful projects and tidies I have to do around the house. The new drugs the Dr prescribed sure helped, she felt seasonal allergies may be muddying the waters and I believe that to be true as I woke up clear headed and no sniffles. I do find myself talking to my pets more and I suppose that is ok but they are not exactly cuddleables as I have a Beta (George III as previously mentioned)  and 5 Stick bugs of varying sizes. I see my grandkids play with theirs but I honestly have no desire to, although I do check in on them often as they fascinate me and are growing well.

I have come to the point of writing a Stephen King novel in my head every time I hear an odd sound from outside. I lock my door when I am home although I am not often in the habit of locking it behind me when I leave. I want to be productive but I also just want to lump on the couch and wonder where this is all taking us. I will be 57 next month and I can’t imagine this is how it all ends. There must be more, more something. I should really stop leaving the news channel on while I work. I find myself checking Facebook less often, the negative energy and the extreme positivity weigh equally on me as there is suddenly a realization that one only exists because of the other.

I had to go pick up a mug of mine today. This was a very significant mug because it is the one I leave at the Railyard Billiards where I have been playing on a Monday Night Pool League since they opened. This week they shut down for good. They are liquidating and it just plain hurts my heart. These friends had a dream and ultimately that dream fell victim to the virus as well. Their lease was up this month and with no end in site to social distancing they just couldn’t afford to wait it out. UNFAIR! I want to shout to the heavens but we are all alive, healthy and will move on to other things so it is a blip compared to many other’s experiences. Still, I will miss this space, the fun times and the relationships that existed only there.

A curious thing has begun. I think I am figuring out who is truly off work and at home as one after another connections are being made via Skype and Facetime and texts and messenger from ‘long lost’ friends and family. It’s lovely and encouraging and reminds me constantly that I am not alone. We are fighting this with more than hearts and emojis. I have a tribe and we are supporting each other. As the days go by more (re)connections wll happen. For now, work is still my focus. The returns will get filed, the government needs its money, there are many to support now. I am on it, doing my part to pad the coffers. I am grateful to those of you whom I have heard from and look forward to more, more of this…

Day 6 03-27-20

I am afraid I will become afraid. I am borderline…everything. It is Friday so I went to the office toward the end of the day to drop off files and pick up mail that came in and do my shredding. I was so careful, kept distances, didn’t touch anything unless it was coming with me and basically did all they recommend. I stopped at the liquor store on the way home as I needed a single cold one for a sad remembery on Tuesday. (More then). I was one of two customers and watched as they wiped down the in and out door handles as each person came and went. Pretty impressive for a small independent store. I got back in my car after both of those stops and immediately sanitized my hands and the entire steering wheel and door handle. I got home, sanitized everything I had with me, my door handles, what I bought, my debit card and phone and changed my clothes. I tried to refocus but I can’t shake that I have turned my mild germaphobia into a full blown ‘thing’. AND I CAN’T STOP TOUCHING MY FACE!!!! It’s nothing, I’ll be fine, honest.

For this whole week I have been silly. Last August was the year anniversary of me owning this place so I was able to sign up for the BC Hydro challenge to reduce use by 10%. I have pretty much everything set up on timers including my thermostat so I didn’t see how that was going to be possible, however last week I received in the mail a small package of outlet insulators and a letter from Hydro congratulating me on reducing by 19% in my first 6 months!! Yay me! So of course this week I am aware of all my extra use during the day being on the computer and either having the TV or the Google Home going all day as well as workspace lights. I have made a conscious effort not to change the thermostat which is scheduled to be lower while I am at work during the day so I sit in a hoody, thick socks and a blanky on my lap as I work in my dining room. It was only as I began to write this story that I realized my heat is gas so being cold or comfy probably has no bearing whatsover on my Hydro Bill!!!! Oy, I wonder if I can find the manual for my thermostat somewhere?!

I hope you are all doing well. The news is more bad than good out there and I can only be grateful for the good health of my closest so far. I shall hug them all again soon. xo

Day 7 03-28-20 Week One is in the books!

Ok so technically I have been social distancing since Friday the 13th but the official ‘back the fuck away’ period began a week ago. I so enjoyed staying up later last night and sleeping longer this morning. I may be working from home but I am still on an office schedule so weekends do matter. I spent the morning enjoying the movie Yesterday. I enjoyed it very much. I then showered and got ready to do a one take recording of Shakespeare’s soliloquy from As You Like It. The director of the last show I was in is putting together a video of All The World’s A Stage. Many were asked to supply a video and he would make magic with it. Looking forward to the result. Will share when able. Next I talked to my mini-me on speaker phone for a while as I got my steps in on the treadmill. It was good to catch up, she is alone as well because her husband still lives in the US and is caught on that side of the border. After all that exercise I made a nice Tabouleh in anticipation of dinner and then watched Togo which had recently been recommended. I loved it! It’s the TRUE story around Balto who was made Disney famous. I am glad Disney made a live action tribute to the real hero Togo. Next I decided I’d better get busy doing other people’s taxes as I have my own company since 1994 and have been doing some of theirs for a long time. I enjoy it, as it is the for sure once a year, no matter what, catch up with friends, time. I had a great Facetime with a dear friend yesterday, have been texting with a couple others today and just getting the list checked off. I know Covid has made it so the deadline is later now but I would still rather get them done and off my mind for another year.   I thought it apropos to play Pirates of the Caribbean in the background as I was working on tax collection…. And now it’s time for a bevie…. 🙂

I am back, so here is the thing. I love movies and have been catching up. Watched a couple good ones the other day Beautiful Boy & The Torture Report. They were both powerful and well done but depressing. So I set about to watch happier ones but so far no luck. Togo was heroic and sad, tonight Judy was such a sad peak behind the curtain and now I am part way in to Five Feet Apart which is actually ill named as all references in the movie are to Six feet apart which is exactly what we are experiencing now. It’s about Cystic Fibrosis but it’s fascinating to actually watch social distancing in a movie. Ah, watch the movie to find out about the missing foot.

Sidebar: the lead male is played by Cole Sprouse who was young Ben on Friends and then Jughead in Riverdale and I was commissioned to knit a toque for him in the crown style a la Jughead. Got to deliver it to the set and all.

Day 8 Sunday

Today was pretty great: I had a decent sleep, got chores done, laundry, sorting and tidying, some great couch time watching Picard (yes I signed up for Crave), got my steps in (goal 10000) for the 15th day in a row which long broke my record in 4 years of trying, put a puzzle in my little library out front for someone to take, attached my big wonderful happy face my brother in law Paul made me years ago to the front trellis, did a little work for the Strata Council, my office and my personal tax clients. Still trying to get that crocheted fire truck finished though. All the finicky bits are left to do like wheels and ladder. Made home made oven fries for poutine, mmmmmmm

I clearly realized the necessity of structure in this new age. I changed my bed and did the things that make my life mine. A week ago I learned the importance of deodorant even when you live alone and now I know that showers and dressing even if in yoga pants and favourite concert Tees is good for mental health.

I enjoyed a friend’s birthday today as he tried to live stream playing and singing. It was glitchy but wonderful to be part of. Something that is happening here in Cranbrook is a Facebook group to sign up and have a car parade go by honking and wishing your child a happy birthday. Everyone is joining in whether or not they know the family.

I did spend FaceTime with my kid today, always a bright spot. We are goons and I love her

Day 9

It seems that Monday’s are Monday’s are Monday’s whether you are in the office or working at home. Dragged myself out of a dead sleep to get ready for the day.First call in was from a client who feels like a friend. Had a great chat and answered his questions. I do like it when clients call rather than just email.I’m so used to getting to catch up in person. You see, one can have a special relationship with their bookkeeper. Think about it, we know a lot about you, from your medications to who you do or don’t donate to, whether you are doing well or drowning in debt and how well you treat your employees.It’s a burden sometimes but mostly a great joy to be integral in someone’s life. And for the most part I have a stable of fine folk, many of whom I had the pleasure of working for today.

One of the things I woke up with was a heart for my co-volunteers at Key City Theatre. Most of them are old dears and I wonder perd how they were doing so my plan was to email our coordinator Brenda and ask if she could send a message for me. Work got in the way and suddenly it was already after 3 when my phone rang and it was Brenda! I felt like I’d manifested her beautiful self. I was able to pass on my message and enjoy the love for the length of that call.

Around 5 I headed to the office to do the file swap again and was (but shouldn’t have been) surprised at the beehive of activity. I miss them, but I don’t. It’s a funny strange kind of separate. Got home to get a call about an erroneous bit of information I had used from the Canada.ca site. Even the info there is changing faster than I can keep up. I look forward to things settling out. I really didn’t think about bookkeeping being an essential service. People still need to get paid and those who aren’t need details reported.

I did my get up and stretch and walk around my property. I spotted something sticking up out on the ground between my place and the neighbour’s fence. I have no idea…

I usually have all my blinds and curtains closed for privacy but being home all the time I hav3 taken to opening them. I happened to glance out while prepping dinner to see first snow beginning to blizzard about and then a large vertical piece of siding start to rip off the neighbour’s wall. I emailed their landlord and was just about to grab my tools when the renters arrived home and he fixed it so nice you can hardly tell. Good on him for not just waiting for the Landlord.

Had texts from long lost friends again today. I am grateful people are thinking of me and feel a little guilty that I still have so much work communication that I am not always so great at the after work part right now. And it was a Monday. Fire truck is coming along, wheels and ladder to complete.

Day 10

March is definitely not going out like a lamb, supposed to snow more this week too. Had to drag out the festive and warm house socks. My Airbnb notice came that my listing was coming off snooze tomorrow so I had to snooze it for at least another month. When I did that in the Fall I was thinking it would be weather that made the difference when I got going again, not a pandemic! I took a break in my workday to have a FaceTime with my grandaughter Emmy. She is precocious and will be three in less than a week. It is as much of a challenge for her single mom to be home with her as it is for my oldest to be home with 5 boys (4 of her own and a home stay student from France). These times are maybe more challenging for people who are isolated with Family. I am good at being alone. Once I got over the enforced part of it and figured out what it looks like in the daily. Bless her heart I was on the phone with a client when I heard banging outside and it was my eldest, Rae-Anne, dropping off a care package. She did good getting fresh fruit, perogies and cheerios, lol. What a sweetheart. I keep reflecting back to the poor Dr. in Bobcaygeon, Ontario who is being constantly interviewed about the seniors home she works in and the terrible toll of deaths so far – 12 residents and one volunteer. She did well when she was asked about transferring all residents to hospital, at first just saying she had contacted all family members and so far no one wanted to move their loved ones. I can’t imagine how hard it was for her to explain that if they were going to die at least it would be in their home with people they know and where they are loved and cared for. I am cared for by my kids, my co-worker who dropped off a parcel that was delivered to the office and the multi-media connections with all.

Today would have been my cousin Kelly’s 58th birthday but in 2017 she was part of a complicated drug tainted marriage that resulted in a murder/suicide by her husband. I know how hard she tried to help him stay clean, how loving she was and how missed she is. Her sisters and brothers and others who love her raise a cold one in her honour on this day. Rest in sweet peace, my dear cousin. To You!

Day 11 April Fools 2020

Yes, she won, Mother Nature, the greatest prankster of them all. It was weird coastal snow too, almost East Coastal, like the rain had frozen in puddles and waves and then a dump of heavy wet snow on top. Unusual for here where I can typically clear my sidewalk with a whisk broom.

Today was hard, work wise. I was super distracted. When I got to the end of my day I had to use 2.5 hours of banked time to make my 8. Oh well, at least I had the option. So many aren’t working, I am grateful for payday! Getting to pay down more debt since I’m not spending on anything. I have purposed not to online shop. It’s harder not to some days than others. I may have to as after talking with my Mom at the coast, I realized she needs an iPad. She lives alone and only has her tiny phone to try and communicate . I am gathering donations from family toward getting her one for her early birthday which is in May.

Those extra hours were spent on Strata council business, learning of the passing of a fellow volunteer, obsessing about the fact that I am pretty sure I killed a couple of my stick bugs from the sanitizer on my hands when I put fresh lettuce in for them… and waiting to see my garbage man. Yes, that’s what I said. One of my clients who felt more like a friend and kid brother from early in our working relationship is my garbage man starting last month and today was the first day I was home and got my can out in time. Had a wave and a laugh. Love my Matt.

The other thing that took up a part of my day was the awesome lunch I made. Yesterday I had found some Elk that had fallen to the bottom of my wee deep freeze and put it to thaw. I had three eggs left so made a nice scramble and boy did it smell mapley good in here. Froze three each in two bags to have when I get restocked on eggs. It is a blessing to have family that hunt (& share)

After work I filed a few tax returns for family, made a nice Almond Crusted Soul & Curried Quinoa and then walked it off while I enjoyed Mark Wahlberg in Instant Family. Super cheesy and just what I needed.

Day 12 Thursday…..

The first thing I did when I got rolling this morning was put a Facebook Status of:

Good Morning! Roll Call!

and the rest of the day brought so much joy with the checkins from friends and family from around the world.

Today meandered. I got a lot done and am continuing on my desire to use what is in the house although my Ashlée did pick me up a few ‘necessities’ like parchment paper, eggs and butter so I can keep on with using up supplies. Seems I always had the intention to bake as I have about 5 different types of flour. Will just have to make sure after today that all things are freezable. I had one package of ramen in the cupboard and wanted a quick but more delightful lunch and then I remembered in the pots and pans cupboard was a bunch of Thrive from a while ago. All but one of the cans hadn’t been opened and the dried mushrooms did not go bad so I put water, the Ramen and a bunch of dehydrated mushrooms, peas and cooked chopped chicken in my Pampered Chef  Rice cooker, through it in the microwave and voila! Delicious and easy. After work while last nights leftovers were heating up I made use of a bag of granny smiths that were beyond their prime and created  a kind of cakey crumble that I must be sure to always use the littlest bowl as it is so good! I forgot how much I love the kitchen, it’s not usually fun just for me but this isolation has turned it into a thing, a good thing. I suggested that the opened box of wine at work was going to go bad without Diane and I there so the boss sent it to my place with my work for tomorrow. A nice end to the day. Oh and I saw a similar idea and made a sign that worked for me and put it on my front door. Just knowing it is there makes me smile. Got to take those where we can get them, eh?

I got on the treadmill to work off the day’s cooking adventures and realized it was day 19 in a row of getting well over my 10K steps a day. probably the best streak in 4 years.. #treadmillwin

It was hard as tonight is usually my look after my granddaughter Emmy night and she will be 3 on Sunday so I am making a plan to get her gift to her which thankfully I have had for a while.

I wonder if people stocked up on deoderant, toothpaste, laundry and dish soap. TP can’t help them with any of those and believe me after only one day without it I knew deoderant was a must for me.

I didn’t sleep well at all last night, awoke feeling like I had black lung again. I do worry that I could get the virus and will just think, oh it’s just this same old thing I have had since late Fall. It’s why I am being so careful and I’ve taken all the meds, tended to my physical and mental health. I shall now away to bed, to sleep – perchance to dream

https://poets.org/poem/hamlet-act-iii-scene-i-be-or-not-be

Day 13 Friday April 3rd

Today, I struggled with the pain of a serious injury from eating salad the other night….. well, it hurts!! I was eating a serving of bagged salad and one of the wonton strips flipped up when I bit down and sliced open my mouth behind my lower back teeth. Yep, I’m a dork.

Anyway, it snowed off and on all day today, and good snowman snow too. I should have gotten out there and made one. I did manage to reschedule my thermostat finally so that I didn’t freeze all afternoon, that was a plus. Now I just need to fix James, my housekeeper. He comes out of my bedroom 4 times a week at varying times, making so much noise I have to hope the phone doesn’t ring while he’s at it. I tried to push his buttons to make him stop but that’s when he became a 4 instead of 3 time a week kind of guy. There are so many challenges when working from home! (where’s my Roomba manual?)

I am celebrating the incredible weirdness of Stick Bug world as the biggest one went down by the one I thought was dead but hadn’t removed yet and the next thing you know they were both moving around! I did throw one of them out yesterday and hope that wasn’t jumping the gun.

I ordered my Mom an iPad for her birthday today so she can better keep in touch with her kids, grands and greats. I was trying to get in touch with her to find out the buzzer number for her complex when she answered the phone out grocery shopping. I was so mad!! She lives in South Surrey and is going to be 79 at the beginning of May. That is not a safe thing for her to be doing and she has had many offers of assistance to pick things up from friends and family in the vicinity. Being 10 hours away all I can do is give her a lecture and hope for the best.

Decided my treadmill movie tonight would be Contagion. Holy crap is it ever familiar!! The only thing is that up until today I would have said that the world is actually handling it all a lot better than they did in the movie. And then Trump decided to hold back selling of PPEs to Canada.. very disappointing.

I did see a couple friends doing Fancy Pants Friday so I threw something on and had #FancyAssFriday of my own on this MidSpringDay

Two weeks…

My entire mission today was to get enough sleep and finish my fire truck. I slept in and I finished it Fait accompli!

When I saw the kit back in January I thought of my son-in-law’s brother, Travis who was a firefighter that died of Cancer on April 18 2013. So I decided to make it for Roger and family. Turns out I am not a pro at this these days but I did get it done. When I went to deliver it today my car wouldn’t start. Apparently I’ve been social distancing for so long my battery died! Incidentally, the TV time was Netflix limited series, both of which I loved: Self Made and Unorthodox